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Betches

@betchesluvthis

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39,726

Taking a break from thinking about ourselves to write it down. The official Twitter account of Betches.

Joined February 2011
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
4 years
Has Pence ever let a woman finish? #VPDebate
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6 months
I could never be in this box because after two drinks I’d start asking who wants to pay off my student loans #SuperBowl
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2 years
Me: I’m gonna have a positive attitude at work today Me by noon:
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2 years
“Can you send me the pics from this weekend?” The pics:
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2 years
8-year-old me listening to “My Humps” on the bus to school
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6 months
me: ok Super Bowl is over im gonna go to sleep me at 2am still watching the videos of Travis and Taylor kissing: #SuperBowl
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@betchesluvthis
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6 months
when your head’s in the game but your heart’s in the song #SuperBowl
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4 months
me staring at the sun
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2 months
Today's mood
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4 years
Lana Del Rey's is going through a breakup and a quarantine at the same time so you already know that album is gonna be lit
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4 years
permanent mood #VPDebate
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Kelis: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard CDC: You can only bring 9 boys max.
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@betchesluvthis
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8 months
When I remember I have to go to work again tomorrow even though I just went today
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2 years
Me: *has $400 worth of clothes in my cart* Shipping: $3.95 Me:
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@betchesluvthis
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2 years
Me: I try to be as engaged and approachable as possible at work Me in every meeting:
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@betchesluvthis
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9 months
Me enjoying the extra hour of sleep and then remembering I won’t see the sun set past 5pm until next year
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
sorry I didn't respond to your email, was kinda stressed about the civil war
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
bold of Joe Biden to assume my life was on track before this virus
@JoeBiden
Joe Biden
4 years
We’re going to get this virus under control and get your life back on track.
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@betchesluvthis
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6 months
Taylor’s Grammys album announcement looking at Beyoncé’s Super Bowl album announcement
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1 year
Me, a millennial trying to impress Gen-Z with an outfit I saw on TikTok
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@betchesluvthis
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6 months
Same energy
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
Moderna, Pfizer & J&J getting together to save summer 2021
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@betchesluvthis
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1 year
“This week was exhausting” Realizing it’s only Tuesday:
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Biden telling Trump “will you just shut up, man” is the most relatable he’s ever been #Debates2020
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
the fridge the electoral map 🤝 me checking every 20 mins in case there’s something new
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Me texting my friends about how my date is going from the bathroom
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
Going welI, I think! Thank you to all. LOVE!!!
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@betchesluvthis
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11 months
*NSYNC reunites for the first time in 10 years* Every millennial:
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@betchesluvthis
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5 years
Kourtney as Kim is my Oscar prediction this year
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Every single person on Google rn: What is J Lo and Shakiras anti aging routine
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
same here but without a billion dollars
@KylieJenner
Kylie Jenner
4 years
i’ve had enough of 2020
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
5 years
me after 8 full days of 2020
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3 years
Crying in the bathroom just doesn’t hit the same when you’re working from home
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
I'm not emotionally prepared for the day American Girl Doll makes a 2020 doll named Jessica who comes with tie-dye loungewear, a matching face mask, a case of wine, and a story about how she heroically never left the house for 5 months.
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
4 years
I miss 2009 when people would update their relationship status on Facebook the second they broke up. that level of tea was unparalleled
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
4 years
Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania getting their shit together to flip for Biden
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@betchesluvthis
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2 years
My dog: *breathes* Me:
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
I miss January, when my biggest problem was deciding whether or not to watch Cheer
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5 years
my therapist: so tell me about your coping mechanisms me:
@VINNYGUADAGNINO
Vinny Guadagnino
5 years
I drink a lot of iced coffee . I just drink it until i feel like I’m dying tbh
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4 years
people who are at Disney World this weekend are the same people who would trample you for a TV on Black Friday
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
march??? again??? no thanks I’m gonna march myself back to bed
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6 years
We need to do better in 2018.
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4 years
All the other states to Nevada:
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5 years
Selena Gomez: *releases a song about Justin Bieber* Hailey Baldwin:
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@betchesluvthis
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6 years
When the argument was over but I thought of new and better points #emmys
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6 years
*me for the rest of my life* Friends: He never texts back, he's clearly not into you. Me: Well Ashley I and Jared got ENGAGED so anything is possible.
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
4 years
this is a high school wrestling uniform
@VogueRunway
Vogue Runway
4 years
Kendall Jenner raises the bar on hiking attire.
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
My favorite childhood memory is having energy
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
So what are we doing for the 1-year lockdown anniversary? Bake banana bread? Whip coffee? All the above?
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5 years
it's been 1385 days since Justin Bieber released an album so don't tell me to fucking smile
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5 years
Hear me out.... what if we just.... never go back to work
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4 years
Which felt longer: today or the month of March? Honestly not sure
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
what's gonna drop first? Rihanna's next album or the Nevada vote count
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
someone just referred to August as "next week" and I almost fell out of my chair
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Spotify Wrapped but it’s just how many minutes you cried in 2020
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
2020 so far: January - 31 days but felt like three months February - 29 days but felt like 10 minutes March - somehow not over yet but has literally been 76 years long
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4 years
to be honest Florida should've been on lockdown years ago
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
Normalize taking a day off work because 'the vibes are off'
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
the real April fools this year is every single plan you made for the month of April
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
What's your favorite memory of the past year? Mine is the time I was convinced this pandemic would be a 3-4 week thing
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4 years
Turns out staying in and cooking really did save money all along. Unbelievable.
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
After this shit I never wanna look at a map of the U.S. again
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4 years
would be amazing if we could just have one day in 2020 where it doesn’t feel like the world is ending
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
social media has been exhausting this week but at least we're all learning something instead of pretending to care about people's banana bread
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
might go for a walk today or might just watch 17 hours of TV, only time will tell
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
if you used Picnik in 2009 legally you can put graphic designer on your resume
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4 years
no one: my Apple Watch every three hours:
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3 years
much like a mcdonalds ice cream machine, I do not feel like working today
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
Meghan Markle with the royal family
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
the only good thing about 2020 is that drinking by yourself in bed is suddenly, like, chic
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@betchesluvthis
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2 years
*Khloé & Tristan welcome baby number 2 the same day Kim & Pete break up* Kris Jenner:
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6 years
When the friend that always flakes actually shows up #Emmys
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
waking up on Sunday morning realizing I only have 15 hours left to do nothing
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4 years
how we doin I’ll go first not good
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@betchesluvthis
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6 months
“in playoff overtime, we start a whole new game” #SuperBowl
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4 years
when my boss says I need to give 50% more effort
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4 years
Are we drinking because of the election, because it’s Friday, or because the sun sets at 4pm? Lmk either way I’m blacking out
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4 years
On the bright side... -saving $ on makeup -boobs are hanging free -wine is good for your heart right? -never shaving my legs again
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@betchesluvthis
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5 years
Yea breakups hurt but have you ever bought 2 drinks at a rooftop bar and had the total come out to $45?
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@betchesluvthis
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3 years
Katy Perry really said “do you ever feel like a plastic bag” in 2010 and we were all like “wow yeah I really do”
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
Can I please speak to the manager of Daylight Saving Time? The absolute last thing we need right now is total darkness at 4:30pm.
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@betchesluvthis
Betches
4 years
so 7pm is really just gonna feel like midnight every single day from here on out, huh?
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@betchesluvthis
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4 years
does anyone else think it’s wild that we just have to like, wake up and go to work in the morning?
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1 year
Men will do anything except go to therapy
@TomBrady
Tom Brady
1 year
Truly grateful on this day. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
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4 years
Me: wow what a crazy month The calendar:
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3 years
In retrospect we should have known the Spears family was fucked up when Jamie and Lynne had a daughter & named her Jamie Lynn
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4 years
Can’t believe I used to sit at home until 9pm then muster up the energy to go out 🤡
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3 years
Taylor Swift wrote two albums in quarantine while my biggest accomplishment was staying awake to watch her win the Grammy for Album of the Year
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4 years
my plans 2020
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4 years
“When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year” hits different in 2020
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3 years
if JLo and Ben can go back to 2002 then so can I... happy to announce my debt is gone and I'm having a Lizzie McGuire themed birthday party
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4 years
If you see me drinking wine out of a coffee mug on November 3rd, mind your own business.
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4 years
Sorry boss I can't come into work, I'm busy finding a Canadian citizen to marry
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4 years
sex is cool but have you ever had a package arrive before the estimated delivery date?
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3 years
updated official statement from Cinnamon Toast Crunch
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4 years
Hard to get excited about spooky season when I’ve been dead inside since march
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3 years
Good morning to everyone except Jamie Spears
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4 years
When you have to sing at the inauguration at 11 and win the Hunger Games at 12 #InaugurationDay
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4 years
it's wild that the government knows exactly how much tax we all owe, but then makes us figure it out ourselves, but then will literally arrest us if we get it wrong.
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3 years
There are 2 types of workdays: 1. How is it only 2pm?? 2. How is it already 2pm??
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