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@bestinsio

Followers
18K
Following
46K
Media
462
Statuses
7K

don’t pigeonhole me!

nyc
Joined March 2014
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@bestinsio
sio
4 years
so let me get this straight. i have to do tasks. every day. dozens of them. and then I have to wash my skin off (did not ask for skin). and then lie unconscious for a while. and then do tasks again.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
the fact that some people are professional opera singers. like they literally go to work and they’re like AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
wearing shorts is so embarrassing. Like here are my legs I guess. jesus christ.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
subway rat made eye contact with me and said “join us. when the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. we live forever and we love to live” I said no thank you I am too large he turned away from me I cried.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
suicide hotlines exist to make you so frustrated with the suicide hotline that you forget to commit suicide.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
why can’t a cover letter be “I want to work here soo bad. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please”.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
what’s the chillest way to ask someone why they arent in love with you.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
putting “they/them” beside my name in zoom class when no one else is displaying their pronouns in order to signal that I am the hottest person present.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
if I have a crush on you that’s my business. it literally has nothing to do with you.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
I can write an essay on an edible yeah no problem for sure
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@bestinsio
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4 years
what vibe am I giving on my dating profiles exactly
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@bestinsio
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3 years
people on here are like “just had the intrusive thought ‘maybe i’ll have pasta for dinner’” girl that’s just a thought.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
I let so many people live in my head rent free because housing is a human right and as long as i have space i will do my part to open my doors for friends and enemies alike, beckoning in a more equitable future rooted in community. And also because I have a mood disorder.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
are we ready to talk about how the instant cancelling of ellen degeneres was rooted in lesbophobia or. ? Just kidding but what if this was something I tweeted.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
queerbaiting myself by existing as a queer person but not really dating or having fun.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
OK SORRY PLEASE DONT EXPLAIN IT TO ME BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND AT ALL HOW CRYPTOCURRENCY HAS A MASSIVE CARBON FOOTPRINT ISNT THE INTENRET JUST AIR AND MAGIC ARENT NUMBERS JUST SHAPES.
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@bestinsio
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2 years
my ancestors never dreamed of having this many tabs open at once.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
I cant believe fruit tastes like that all on its own. we are so lucky.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
having a body is all about wearing the biggest shirt in the world so no one knows.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
you ever look around your room like oh no an insane person lives here.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
some of you tweet in such bursts that I feel like I could map your manic-depressive episodes for your therapist for a small fee.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
if Im on your close friends story on instagram I take that position very seriously. I will sing at your funeral.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
loudly muttering “I guess I’ve been shadowbanned” when I sit in the park in my little outfit and no one falls in love with me.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
writing a screenplay about the post-vaccination world
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@bestinsio
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3 years
just because Im trans doesn’t mean you can ask me random invasive questions like “how have you been” “what have you been up to” etc.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
“open to female and non binary applicants” cool Im gonna need your definition of female real quick and also your definition of non binary and also you owe me one thousand dollars.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
if I were in the stanford prison experiment I’d just stay calm and have fun with it.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
I dont know what gender I was assigned at birth. I dont remember anything from that day.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
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@bestinsio
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3 years
I love when a friend compliments your other friend to you and you get to tell the friend that they were complimented behind their back.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
Hey, so good to catch up, sorry for acting a little off last night. it’s just because there’s a bunch of stuff wrong with my personality.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
a friend breakup is just a regular breakup but nobody around you cares and you cant blame it on your face being weird.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
not to victim blame but if my cat doesnt want me to nuzzle her soft little head with my nose then maybe she should stop being a perfect angel from heaven.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
sometimes your various traumas and mental illnesses will make you very difficult to love but that’s ok because there are actually tons of tv shows.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
I love to read an opinion and be like oh sure yeah that’s my opinion too now and then read an opposing opinion and be like whoa whoa wait a sec.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
no one wants to admit it but elon musk and grimes are what “queering heterosexuality” looks like.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
why the hell is alaska republican???? no one’s trying to raise your taxes there’s a moose behind you focus on that.
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@bestinsio
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2 years
these guys got the same kind of face to me. no one can play a scoundrel like a guy with this face. little stinker genes
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@bestinsio
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4 years
[using social media a totally normal healthy way] hey is anyone on here proud of me.
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@bestinsio
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2 years
google maps should tell you if you’re going to a destination where the vibes are off.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
some people are like “this is so beautiful” “this is poetry” it’s not supposed to be beautiful it’s a tweet about how I want to be a subway rat. I wrote it on 3 hours of sleep after one of the worst weeks of my life expecting 3 likes don’t take anything I say seriously ever again.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
Hey, I’m a cisgender person dating a transgender person. I wrote a weird essay. It’s behind a paywall. My haircut was expensive and it isn’t good.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
just because I haven’t seen these screenshots in circulation and they cant be lost to history
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@bestinsio
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3 years
Im not non binary anymore everyone’s being too annoying. i’m not anything. i’m just sitting on my couch. My roommate is making me pasta.
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@bestinsio
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2 years
this is the most Marnie From Girls ive ever seen a person be including Marnie From Girls.
@ctrlvcrs
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2 years
this is really the funniest video on this app
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@bestinsio
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4 years
if sex and gender are the same thing then why do I have too much gender and not enough sex.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
@just_broth the text ones are soooo funny lol my friend and I joke that they should just put all 100 people in a group chat to work it out among ourselves.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
Kylie Jenner rise and shine but she’s a lesbian
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@bestinsio
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4 years
I’ve never “come out” in my life i’ve just kind of realized things and then acted on them and let my friends and family be like oh my god what is going on please answer your phone.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
sorry Im late to the meeting I was watching a youtube video called “bill hader being a mood for 5 minutes” it was made by a 14 year old with more patience than me who will someday upload my consciousness into the cloud against my will because amazon bought my nursing home.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
on my way into an important meeting and you can never be too safe
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@bestinsio
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6 years
what if we kissed 😳😳 in front of ezra koenig 🙈😳
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@bestinsio
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4 years
stop calling tattoos “permanent” We will not always have skin.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
people are doing extraordinarily bad faith readings at me so for clarity: obviously use hotlines if you must, be nice to hotline workers, etc. i’m simply making little jokes about my own experiences on this app. i’m just some guy. .
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@bestinsio
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2 years
sometimes i’ll be walking through a park and then, no warning at all, there will be a bridge I can walk atop or a tunnel I can walk inside. it just happens. Life is full of little treats like that.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
my magic trick is that I can tell who i’m going to match with on tinder before I swipe because I dont have a type but I am a type’s type.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
it’s weird when movies are bad. like wouldnt they want it to be good? I get when tv episodes are bad. but that’s a whole movie. like wouldn’t someone catch that? it’s a whole movie god damn it. double check.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
it’s totally fine to be good at nothing and have no ambitions and chat all day with friends.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
Im absolutely not being sarcastic I love each of you very much
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@bestinsio
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4 years
twitter rules
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@bestinsio
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4 years
“you’re so brave for sharing your story” no actually stuff just happened to me and I cant shut up.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
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@bestinsio
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4 years
my cat broke one of my favorite ceramics but I dont mind because the ceramic was shaped like a cat and I understand now that there shall be no false idols before her.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
@bestinsio
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4 years
twitter rules
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@bestinsio
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4 years
the wikipedia image for the "Body dysmorphic disorder" page is fun as hell i would get this tattooed on my body
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@bestinsio
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4 years
blankets are so underrated. you feel cold so you put on a blanket and immediately you dont feel warmer necessarily but you feel inexplicably happier. that’s so cool.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
oh a writer did something really weird? you're telling me a writer, of all people, did something really weird?.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
my friends will spend all day being smart and talented and good and beautiful and then be like "thank you for always supporting me" as if it's an active effort and not a natural nourishing byproduct of existing near them.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
need head from a girl who doesnt know what an attachment style is.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
English majors writing reading responses love to be “struck by” things.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
georges seurat
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@bestinsio
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4 years
a true lady waits until the third date to subtweet.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
excuse me, Im an alt comedian from one of three cities with one of four haircuts. And I have something mean to tweet.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
pls dont reply to this implying opera singers make too much money (???! Lol??) or that it’s an easy job lmao I like to tweet obvious observations in dumb ways. Accountants go to work and they’re like tap tap click click. ur not better we’re all being exploited artists r cool shh.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
omg. my girlfriend had to leave early for work this morning. she made me a cup of coffee and left the sweetest note for when I woke up. it really is the little things!!
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@bestinsio
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4 years
so being transgender makes me hotter but makes dating harder? I’m confused.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
what's the point of a high school reunion as a cis person. where's the reveal.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
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@bestinsio
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4 years
you use paper towels and then the next thing you know you’re out of paper towels. life is so messed up.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
@limitlessjest this is genuinely upsetting me because it is mean to the rats.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
a trustworthy one I guess.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
you dont have to know a single thing about your gender, your sexuality, your personality, your ambitions, etc to have a full life . you mostly just have to know whether you're in the mood for a sandwich and what kind of sandwich you should make.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
the “?” imessage text reaction is the most sinister mode of communication I can imagine.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
every time there’s an actress on tv whose teeth are a little weird Im like that is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
the polygraph operator who tested Lisa Vanderpump to find out if she sold a story about her friend’s dog on season 9 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the same one who tested Nathan Fielder to find out if he watches porn on season 4 of Nathan For You
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@bestinsio
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4 years
hey, sorry I haven’t liked your tweets in a while. I had to mute your account because i overthought something I said to you and decided you were mad at me and every time I saw your name is made me feel sick. but I hope you’re well and i love your recent posts about bisexuality.
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@bestinsio
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2 years
hey i know we aren’t close but i saw your bereal and there seems to be a sadness in your eyes that wasnt there yesterday. Are you thinking about climate change, or did something tragic maybe happen in your family?.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
me and my boys are having an ennui summer. we are at the function listless as hell.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
I will like each of my crush’s selfies immediately as soon as I see them of course I will why wouldnt I? those are my favorite photos. That’s literally what the button is for.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
generational wealth is when your mom gives you a kiss on the forehead.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
stresses me out when a lip balm says “Do not ingest” on it. like I’m going to a LITTLE.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
transmasc is a word I use for myself to mean Im not a girl and the hormones Im on are the “masculinizing” kind but the idea that I, as a guy, am “masc” is soooo funny. I’m not masc! Im a guy though.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
I think im going to come out as transgender today. hope nobody distracts from my moment.
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@bestinsio
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5 years
every lesbian dating app is a parody of a lesbian dating app
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@bestinsio
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4 years
why is everyone being so mean to me (not in love with me).
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@bestinsio
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4 years
wait just realized it’s ok to not be talented because I can just hang out.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
brain shattered beyond repair. just looked down at the breakfast I made for myself by myself and said out loud “breakfast vibez”.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
“Im not looking for anything serious” lmaoooo ok whatever you say. still gonna smile when you text me tho.
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@bestinsio
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3 years
Succession as a tv show has nothing to do with sex but every day the marketing team manages to assemble the most pornographic promotional material Ive ever seen in my life. I need season 3 to premiere Im up to four cold showers a day I cant live like this anymore.
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@bestinsio
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4 years
you would think a boyfriend is just a girlfriend who's a boy, but in many ways it's more complicated than that.
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