Ben Mekler
@benmekler
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If u wanna be happy the rest of ur life
Never make a prairie falcon ur wife
They need a moderate altitude
To catch burrowing owls for food
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My dad is in New Orleans for the first time and called me with a childlike sense of wonder I have never heard in his voice before. He said “this is a happy place”, “all of the food is good”, and “I saw a dog parade and there was a chihuahua in a wig, she was the princess”
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Gen Z will never understand growing up with parents who basically poured a gallon of milk into your body with a funnel every day because Big Milk told them that if we didn’t drink enough our bones would go soft and we’d turn into pudding people and get kidnapped at the mall
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Called my mom to check on her and we wound up arguing over whether Shrek is Jewish
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Are ye sure
2003 was such a a cursed year for film, just no true masterpieces
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I took Gizmo to get groomed and when I went to pick him up I casually asked “how’d he do” and the woman behind the counter said “bad”
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Stop mid-sentence to cough really weird while hammering my chest
If your girl consistently makes you meals like this…men what are you going to consistently do?
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Your husband just sliced the tip of his thumb off making dinner and it won’t stop bleeding. You’re rushing to the emergency room and this happens. Wyd
James Corden, Camila Cabello, Billy Porter and Idina Menzel stopped traffic in LA for a flash mob with a cover of Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud” to promote
#CinderellaMovie
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for me I guess my grandma dying
Gwyneth Paltrow broke down and ate bread during quarantine. What was your lowest point?
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Vin Diesel taught Judi Dench how to play Dungeons & Dragons on the set of THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK and she went on to become DM for her grandchildren
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A friend got me hired on GI Joe 2 as “post-vis coordinator” when I was 24 and my first question day 1 was “what is post-vis?” When we wrapped they told me I was the best post-vis coordinator they’d ever worked with
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Let the baby try bread for the first time and she’s currently screaming for more bread between bites of bread
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Steve Buscemi was reportedly punched in the face last week in a random attack on a Manhattan street, law enforcement sources said. The 66-year-old actor was taken to the hospital to be treated for bruising, swelling and bleeding.
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Disney Plus Hamilton cut out two cases of the word “fuck” but added the word “McDonalds” like seven times? Absolutely baffled by this, ruined at least three songs
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George Miller is 76 years old and about to head into the desert to crash a bunch of cars with studio money. He is a god to me
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JK Rowling made it canon that I fucked Kreacher and it is ruining my marriage. Please undo this Ms. Rowling I’m begging you
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The synopsis for SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY is certifiably bananas and I for one cannot wait to see it
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Directors who are best at acting? Those who started out as actors first don't count.
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kind of like giving CPR to a skeleton at this point but cool thanks twitter
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Fucking arrest him, he is a murderer. Arrest the other two officers, too.
BREAKING: Police officer involved in the shooting death of Breonna Taylor to be fired, Louisville mayor announces.
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So I knew BULLET TRAIN took place on a bullet train but I did not realize until now that Brad Pitt is literally named Bullet T. Rain in the movie
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is it all millennials that can attach every formative sexual experience in their life to a dvd menu that was playing on repeat in the background or are we a microgeneration
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Seeing the Star Wars movies does not make you a Star Wars fan.
Actual Star Wars fans have done some of the following:
* Slide to the left
* Slide to the right
* Take it back now y'all
* One hop this time
* Right foot let's stomp
* Left foot let's stomp
* Cha cha real smooth
Seeing the Star Wars movies does not make you a Star Wars fan.
Actual Star Wars fans have done some of the following:
* Read the novelizations
* Read books in the EU
* Read new canon books
* Read some comics
* Watched the animated shows
* Participated in SW discussion groups.
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makes sense, batman mask covers all the wrong parts
UPDATE: Robert Pattison has tested positive for Covid-19, causing filming of The Batman to be halted just days after the superhero drama resumed work
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SPOILERS: they revealed Baby Yoda’s real name on the Mandalorian. Meet “Melissa”
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Flying “basic economy” on United and not only did they force me to pay to check my carry-on, they have lined every seat from row 30 back with those spiked strips cops use to pop tires
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I desperately need a tell-all book about the making of CATS. It could really help me get through this
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this trailer played before a screening of Police Story last night and when the big needle drop hit the audience (myself included) lost their fucking minds
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never reading this because there's no way the article will ever live up to the headline
Over fried fish, I said goodbye to my wife—and to a version of myself.
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"gormless" is one of my favorite words because it implies you could say someone "has gorm"
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I’ve seen The Nightmare Before Christmas at least fifty times and I’m still not sure what Oogie Boogie wants
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my three year old has started using the phrase "you dirty rat" and I have no idea where she heard it
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oh easily the husk. two or three hundred feet tall, appeared for like a month every summer over the Empire state building. so much fun kneeling under it with my friends eyes rolling back into my head but kids these days would rather watch tiktok than worship the husk
What the hell, who doesn't love a good prompt tweet. 90s kids: quote this with something that was gigantic in the 90s that you couldn't possibly explain to someone born after 2000
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In the footage, Chalamet is heard singing, “You have never had chocolate like this,” before he breaks out of a choreographed dance and heads down a pothole
Timothée Chalamet sang a few tunes in the first clips from
#Wonka
, which were shown at
#CinemaCon
.
In the footage, Chalamet is heard singing, “You have never had chocolate like this,” before he breaks out of a choreographed dance and heads down a pothole
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Reached the level where people get mad. For some, in defense of milk. For others, because in truth gen z also drank milk. May we all someday find peace in our hearts
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I'm at the DCU press event at Warner Bros and James Gunn has been talking about an original character he came up with called "Dr. Cool" for almost two hours. He's describing the satin lining of Dr. Cool's favorite bomber jacket now. One of the SlashFilm guys just walked out
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shout out to the people who voted for this asshole because they thought the libs would institute martial law and violently stop them from enjoying their constitutional rights. fucking bootlickers
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Okay AMBULANCE is so much weirder than ya’ll let on. The main character’s name is Mason P. Ambulance??
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#Tenet
is another remarkable masterpiece by Christopher Nolan, in every sense of the word - from the stunning IMAX cinematography, to the mind-boggling sci-fi plotting and breathtakingly grounded reimagining of Mr. Bean canon, this is pure Nolan. Well worth the trip to the cinema
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thinking about the eyelight on every single shot of morticia again
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Please imagine this in a thick, almost unintelligibly mumbled Israeli accent
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can’t stop staring at this
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Well this Bond fan LOVED
#NoTimeToDie
. Daniel Craig ends his 007 run with his strongest performance yet, matched well by Rami Malek's mysterious lasagna-loving, Monday-hating villain (to say more would give away the film's best twist). A spy epic that more than earns its runtime
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Best and final. If this doesn’t work out no more writing in movies, ever
AMPTP Gives WGA Its Best and Final Offer, Guild Expected to Respond Sunday
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Batman, but with pink eye in both eyes
Pattinson’s 'Batman’ Will Be ‘So Raw’ and ‘Not Sanitized,’ Says Cast Member Peter Sarsgaard
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It’s time I speak out. A robot beat the absolute shit out of me after I washed my hands for eighteen seconds on the set of Mission Impossible 7
Tom Cruise reportedly buys robots to enforce COVID-19 safety on film set
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wild pitch - what if it was possible to make entertainment without being a fucking monster
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DETECTIVE PIKACHU is the best videogame movie ever made. It’s got heart, stellar action, it honors the franchise. But it has a problematic way of skirting the “no smoking in a PG movie” rule that didn’t sit right with me (Pikachu eats a cigarette in almost every scene he’s in)
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People miss that this is exactly what a dork like Peter Parker would think a cool guy looks like. This is who all the nerds who were bullied as children and grew up to become gatekeeping bullies are. It rules
I have no idea why people say spiderman 3 is a bad movie. This is incredible cinema.
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Holy shit I am ready to enlist in the BTS army I will die for my boys so blessed to be here w/
@kang_maggie
@RadSechrist
@MingjueChen
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URGENT
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut
update/clarification, emailed to me by a CATS VFX crewmember who has asked to remain anonymous
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#TheBatman
is a triumph - it’s thrilling, cerebral, funny, heartbreaking. Dragging around a fucking enormous magnifying glass in nearly every scene, Robert Pattinson finally delivers a Batman who really feels like The World’s Greatest Detective. Best DC film since DARK KNIGHT
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Rowan Atkinson attending the Queen’s funeral in character as Mr. Bean. Solemnly tripping into the casket and dutifully waltzing with her remains
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I have seen the first two eps of
#LOKI
and WOW are fans are in for a treat. With episodes set in the swinging 60s and at the late-2002 wrap party for HOLES, you get a real sense that this show can go ANYWHERE and be ANYTHING. Feels like the future of the MCU
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Francis Ford Coppola's ‘Megalopolis’ Faces Uphill Battle for Mega Deal: “Just No Way to Position This Movie"
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don jr running for his ipad shouting NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO CANCEL DR SEUSS smashes into coffee table at full-speed absolutely eating shit
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Just got out of the
#BirdsofPrey
premiere here in London, and folks -
#BOP
is a bop! Badass, hilarious, with some killer twists and an emotional Colin Powell cameo that actually grows into a full-on supporting role. Best DC flick since The Dark Knight and I don’t say that lightly
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Should’ve won an Oscar for this
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I think about this one a lot
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I’d been telling him to go for ten years so this has been really great payoff for me
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they are CHILDREN this is SICK
The owner of ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ is looking to sell them for $300M.
(Source: )
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hey I'm realizing most people don't know this - if you email Warner Bros they'll just send you a copy of Batgirl on DVD
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truly one of the funniest performances I've seen in anything
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In Doctor Strange 2 Wanda will fight someone from the Fox-Verse (I am not allowed to reveal who it is) but could top this fight
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My mom insisted he is and she’s probably right? Apparently his name comes from the Yiddish word שרעק (“shrek”) which means fear or terror
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#MULAN
is shockingly great?? The music really works and there’s an action sequence I’m sure audiences will be talking about for a long, long time. Wouldn’t dare spoil it but let’s just say that Mulan devours a million mile hoagie and if there was any CG used it was invisible. A+!
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Today I found out that my daughter’s entire preschool class heard the Ghostbusters theme for the first time together while celebrating a classmate’s birthday near Halloween and have since been convinced that “Go Buster” is something you tell someone on their birthday
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Thrilled to say that
#ZackSnydersJusticeLeague
is masterpiece of the highest order. Far more emotional, epic, and fun than the cut WB released in 2019, this is what fans have waited for - four full hours of superheroes popping sick wheelies on their hogs. Restore the Snyderverse!
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Completely forgot they dated
Weird Al and Fozzie Bear
(Muppet Magazine, Fall 1984)
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My buddy and I had daughters the same week and now we just message each other cute shit all the time. It rules
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