If covid didn't happen, if I didn't lost my fiancé, I would be marrying in a few hours time the woman of my dreams alongside all of my loved ones in her 11th century castle in the south of france. Broken.
I was engaged to be married tomorrow. These last four months have been simply the most difficult and crippling of my life. If you find yourself this moment by your loved one's side, I hope you can take this moment to hold them close.
In the end, there comes a time where we all question whether a love was really worth all the pain and loss. The answer is yes. It was. It always is. And one day it will be again.
I’m beginning to recognise that real happiness isn’t something large and looming on the horizon ahead but something small, numerous and already here. The smile of someone you love. A decent breakfast. The warm sunset. Your little everyday joys all lined up in a row.
Why should a relationship mean settling down? Wait out for someone who won’t let life escape you, who will challenge you & drive you toward your dreams, someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with. A relationship, with the right person, is a release,
not a restriction
One day, whether
you are 14, 28, or 65
you will stumble upon
someone who will start a fire
in you that cannot die.
However,
the saddest, most awful truth
you may ever come to find,
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.
Our tragedy is that
we want who we can’t have,
grow disinterested
in those we do,
and no matter how
painful the time
we shared with them was,
we inevitably long
for those whom we lose.
We are taught to practice self-love, but the truth is we have to earn it. Take responsibility for your poor habits and work to overcome them. Be someone you can depend on, trust in, and feel proud of. Set the same standards for your self-love as you would for the love of another.
There are no half measures in love, only all or nothing. And if it doesn't make you tremble and go mad at the very thought of their absence, you should quietly part ways and move on.
Settle your heart, child.
Your time will come. One of these days
you will meet eyes with someone
who makes you feel so at home in the world
you will think to yourself,
“Ah, there you are.”
The true spirit of Christmas is a reminder that our most precious gifts cannot be found wrapped in ribbon or tinsel beneath a tree draped in lights, but in the hearts and laughter of those who gather beside it.
Some nights I think of you
and gaze up to the stars
and wonder if we fell from the very same one,
if we were written there,
in some long distant past,
and always bound to find each other.
I can’t keep quiet about you
- to friends, to family,
even strangers on the street.
I want to shout it from every rooftop
in every city and every town,
to announce my affections for you
with such fervour and fuss
even the furthermost stars will
know who you are.
In this quiet moment, I give myself permission to acknowledge my progress, to focus less on the distance I've still left to travel, and instead on the mighty distance I've come.
I’m told I don’t need anyone else to feel complete, but seems no matter how well I put myself together, deep down, I still sense a fragment is missing - like I am ninety nine parts of a one hundred piece puzzle, and you are the final piece.
There may be times it feels impossible to love yourself as you are. In these unhappy moments, close your eyes, visualise your arms extending forward through time, and gently embrace the person you could be.
I've wasted so much life feeling insecure, unconfident, overstressed or lost. There was never any reason to any of it. I don't have all the answers yet. But if you are in this space too, I promise I'll find them.
After a sad farewell, there comes a point where
every one of us questions whether
love is really worth all the pain and the loss.
The answer is yes. exhale. It always is. And in
time you will know its touch again.
In my eyes, good conversation is the birthplace of true attraction. Tell me all about your hopes and dreams and captivate me with your passions. Arouse my curiosity. And you'll have my attention.
Today, I give myself permission
to acknowledge my progress;
to focus less on the distance I’ve still left to go,
and more on the mighty distance
I’ve come.
Slow down. You are allowed to set up camp once in a while, to set yourself aside some time to renew your heart, to lie your head back in the soft grass, and marvel at the stars.