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holly ❀

@bagelcals

Followers
1,644
Following
1,096
Media
38
Statuses
903

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ed diary ! pro recovery & not fatphobic

she/they 19
Joined June 2022
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need to be skinnier than HER. we all have a her
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
2 years
taking an everything shower while fasting
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
this made me want to d word
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i wish all of you weren’t sick but i do love not being alone in this
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still a
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
not new to #edtwt but i relapsed and want more active moots! *ੈ✩‧₊˚ - holly 19 she/her - i am a lesbian! - i’m 5’7 and 140 lbs (i hate myself) - bmi 23 - gw is 110 lbs ! - i love music like boygenius, mitski, ethel cain etc. and love to talk about it! interact to be moots<3
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
it’s just so unfair that there are people who naturally have the body i want
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
one of the worst ed symptoms is always being freezing especially when it’s already so cold outside
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i hate the feeling of having anything in my stomach at all
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need stonerexic moots
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
hating knowing how much i weigh vs hating not knowing how much i weigh
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
guys look how cute my new vape is
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
so high trying to fight the munchies this is like war
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
stuck between “life is short i need to be skinny to make it count” and “life is short why am i spending it starving”
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need money for a vape so bad like i’m about to try one of the sugar daddy bots on here
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i have a genuine obsession with my gf’s ex i will never be able to stop comparing myself to her
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
2 years
pretending alc doesn’t have calories for tonight
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i’m watching shameless and fiona gallagher is now my number one thinspo
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
FINALLY GOT A VAPE everyone cheer
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
remembered bpd is incurable
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need my upper thighs to not touch anymore.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
guys i’m breaking up with my gf today i think. idk what im gonna do bc we live together but we almost did last night and i need to :( please send me luck
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
con i got cheated on pro i never want to eat ever again!
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
if i just had a small waist i would be so much happier with my body.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
tw sh thinking about how my gf said they’ll break up with me if i relapse into sh but continues to say they want to marry me? like how am i supposed to take that is that valid idk
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
2 years
every day i wake up and feel betrayed that liquids have calories
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
me when my gf just dropped details about sex with her ex i’m gonna kill myself what the fuck.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
quitting nicotine is the hardest thing to do when u have an ed and u depend on it to curb ur hunger 👎👎👎
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
so i should just kill myself
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
starting to feel sick bc of how hungry i am is the worst feeling
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
shaking from how much coffee i’ve had but at least im not hungry <3
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
con: broke up with my gf my heart is SHATTERED and i had to move back in with my parents who i haven’t spoken to since november pro: all my mom kept saying was how skinny i am, that im skin and bones, and i couldn’t weigh more than 90 lbs
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i hate having to hide this from my girlfriend i feel awful
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
2 years
almost died i swear
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
first day at my new job today i feel like im gonna be sick im so anxious
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
merry christmas why did i not get -10 pounds under the tree :/
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
only good thing about my body is i have a fat ass
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
omad (diet coke, chocolate lax, and a strawberry vape)
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
why does follow limit exist likeeeeee
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
my gf is making strawberry strudel muffins and they r the Best but oh my god i’m going to want to kms later
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
ok i need more active edtwt moots i want FRIENDS hellooooo hiiiiii
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
tw self harm now that i’ve relapsed into my ed the urge to relapse into sh is STRONG
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i feel like i can physically feel my stomach getting fatter
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
ate so much while high last night i hate everything
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i can’t even go to the gym without my gf getting suspicious that i’ve relapsed this is so hard
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i have to get worse than i’ve ever been before
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
hi 1k followers omg! if i’m not following u back and u want to be moots let me know!!
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i can’t waste another summer being fat
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i’m gonna kms everyone point and laugh at me
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
this is too real
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need friends
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
my gf has mentioned their ex two times today lol lol lol lol lol
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
idk if i should confront her because i found out by looking through their texts (im awful i know) but im SO upset
@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
my gf lied to me about still being friends with someone she hooked up with over the summer idk what to do anymore im so upset
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i don’t enjoy eating anymore i just don’t want to why do i have to
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
good morning little disordered people in my phone
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
merry christmas eve i want to crawl out of my body
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
every time i bring up something im uncomfortable with to my gf it always ends with me comforting her and im so upset because i have nobody to talk to about it im so alone jesus fucking christ i’m pathetic
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
just broke up with my gf and got kicked out even though i’m not the one who cheated so now im sitting in a parking lot sobbing i have nowhere to stay tonight i don’t know what to do ive never been so sad in my life
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
need an ana coach that pays me for every pound i lose
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
now that i have more active followers someone SAVE ME
@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
does anyone have tips for restricting when i’m living with my gf who is almost fully recovered from ana bc….
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i love feeling empty
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
the way i can be my ugw in just a few months if i just work HARDER.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
9 months
i’ve lost 30 pounds since november🥲
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
girls when they can’t change their past and how it made them turn out
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
summer in three months it’s time to lock the fuck in
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
can someone please give me advice? this is a list of things that my gf has done that have upset me and idk if im overreacting or what i should do anymore.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
if i’m following anyone under 16 pls sb me
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
thinking of all the cute clothes i could finally wear if i just LOSE THE FUCKING WEIGHT
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
ok i didn’t do it yet bc she was asleep when i got home since she was mad at me for hanging out with friends (as always) BUT TODAY. i will do it i will know my worth i will stand my ground i will not stay with a cheater
@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
guys i’m breaking up with my gf today i think. idk what im gonna do bc we live together but we almost did last night and i need to :( please send me luck
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i think i’m accepting that this relationship isn’t gonna last :( but like we live together, we have cats together, ALL of the money i make goes into a savings account for our future that only she has access to, and i was literally planning on proposing this year :( idk what to do
@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
can someone please give me advice? this is a list of things that my gf has done that have upset me and idk if im overreacting or what i should do anymore.
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
going on vacation tomorrow for a week so i’m gonna have to eat normally might die tbh
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
need my belly button to be a vertical line. then i will know i’ve won
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
what if i’m doomed to have this body forever
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
new ugw just dropped i guess, need to be 97lbs now
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
listening to music i listened to when i was the deepest into my ed and i am very triggered to never eat again🩷
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
such a pretty face wasted on this body
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
9 months
i need FRIENDSSSS im so alone
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
my gf said my body is like a renaissance statue and i know she meant well but damn was that a nicer way of calling me fat
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i miss being able to fast before i lived with my gf
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
i need more active moots hi where are u guys
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
my dream body just keeps getting smaller and smaller
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i cannot express enough how thankful i am for all of you for making me feel less alone
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
6 months
i’ve been so inactive oops but i haven’t been deserving of being on edtwt ive been eating an embarrassing amount
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
thanks for all the well wishes <3 it went great!! everyone there is sooo sweet (and i’m skinnier than like all of them so that made me happy)
@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
first day at my new job today i feel like im gonna be sick im so anxious
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
according to the universe i have to starve forever idk
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i am so fat i need to be put down like
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
had to eat lunch bc i almost passed out at work fuckkkkk
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
does anyone have tips for restricting when i’m living with my gf who is almost fully recovered from ana bc….
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
8 months
starving so i can confidently wear baby tees and tank tops
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
since we’re all sharing mine is my gf’s. ex <3 (who is surprised i talk about it all the time) retroactive jealousy is a BITCH
@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
i need to be skinnier than HER. we all have a her
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
1 year
side effect is loss in appetite and weight loss everyone cheer
@bagelcals
holly ❀
1 year
finally having my med appointment today for anxiety and stuff!! praying they don’t give me ones that have a side effect of weight gain im so nervous
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
10 months
have to lose as much weight before my doctors appointment next week so i don’t want to d word when they weigh me (im going to want to anyway)
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
looking at thinspo ripping my hair out and crying on the floor is a daily occurrence
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i would literally do anything for this i’ve never had a best friend that’s also called me their best friend like….
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i did so good yesterday i only ate like three bites of a yogurt parfait bc my gf made me and i got away with not eating lunch or dinner so basically im winning the best ana award
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
ONE OF MY BIGGEST SAFE FOODS IS BECOMING A FEAR FOOD
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@bagelcals
holly ❀
7 months
i think i’m addicted to self sabotage
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