holly ❀
@bagelcals
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Following
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38
Statuses
903
ੈ✩‧₊˚ ed diary ! pro recovery & not fatphobic
she/they 19
Joined June 2022
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Pinned Tweet
i need to be skinnier than HER. we all have a her
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i wish all of you weren’t sick but i do love not being alone in this
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at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still at my hw at least i’m not still a
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not new to
#edtwt
but i relapsed and want more active moots!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
- holly 19 she/her
- i am a lesbian!
- i’m 5’7 and 140 lbs (i hate myself)
- bmi 23
- gw is 110 lbs !
- i love music like boygenius, mitski, ethel cain etc. and love to talk about it!
interact to be moots<3
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it’s just so unfair that there are people who naturally have the body i want
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one of the worst ed symptoms is always being freezing especially when it’s already so cold outside
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hating knowing how much i weigh vs hating not knowing how much i weigh
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stuck between “life is short i need to be skinny to make it count” and “life is short why am i spending it starving”
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i need money for a vape so bad like i’m about to try one of the sugar daddy bots on here
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i have a genuine obsession with my gf’s ex i will never be able to stop comparing myself to her
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i’m watching shameless and fiona gallagher is now my number one thinspo
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at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw at least i’m not at my hw
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guys i’m breaking up with my gf today i think. idk what im gonna do bc we live together but we almost did last night and i need to :( please send me luck
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if i just had a small waist i would be so much happier with my body.
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tw sh
thinking about how my gf said they’ll break up with me if i relapse into sh but continues to say they want to marry me? like how am i supposed to take that is that valid idk
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me when my gf just dropped details about sex with her ex i’m gonna kill myself what the fuck.
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quitting nicotine is the hardest thing to do when u have an ed and u depend on it to curb ur hunger 👎👎👎
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starting to feel sick bc of how hungry i am is the worst feeling
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shaking from how much coffee i’ve had but at least im not hungry <3
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con: broke up with my gf my heart is SHATTERED and i had to move back in with my parents who i haven’t spoken to since november
pro: all my mom kept saying was how skinny i am, that im skin and bones, and i couldn’t weigh more than 90 lbs
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first day at my new job today i feel like im gonna be sick im so anxious
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my gf is making strawberry strudel muffins and they r the Best but oh my god i’m going to want to kms later
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ok i need more active edtwt moots i want FRIENDS hellooooo hiiiiii
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tw self harm
now that i’ve relapsed into my ed the urge to relapse into sh is STRONG
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i can’t even go to the gym without my gf getting suspicious that i’ve relapsed this is so hard
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hi 1k followers omg! if i’m not following u back and u want to be moots let me know!!
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my gf has mentioned their ex two times today lol lol lol lol lol
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idk if i should confront her because i found out by looking through their texts (im awful i know) but im SO upset
my gf lied to me about still being friends with someone she hooked up with over the summer idk what to do anymore im so upset
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i don’t enjoy eating anymore i just don’t want to why do i have to
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every time i bring up something im uncomfortable with to my gf it always ends with me comforting her and im so upset because i have nobody to talk to about it im so alone jesus fucking christ i’m pathetic
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just broke up with my gf and got kicked out even though i’m not the one who cheated so now im sitting in a parking lot sobbing i have nowhere to stay tonight i don’t know what to do ive never been so sad in my life
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now that i have more active followers someone SAVE ME
does anyone have tips for restricting when i’m living with my gf who is almost fully recovered from ana bc….
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the way i can be my ugw in just a few months if i just work HARDER.
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girls when they can’t change their past and how it made them turn out
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can someone please give me advice? this is a list of things that my gf has done that have upset me and idk if im overreacting or what i should do anymore.
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thinking of all the cute clothes i could finally wear if i just LOSE THE FUCKING WEIGHT
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ok i didn’t do it yet bc she was asleep when i got home since she was mad at me for hanging out with friends (as always) BUT TODAY. i will do it i will know my worth i will stand my ground i will not stay with a cheater
guys i’m breaking up with my gf today i think. idk what im gonna do bc we live together but we almost did last night and i need to :( please send me luck
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i think i’m accepting that this relationship isn’t gonna last :( but like we live together, we have cats together, ALL of the money i make goes into a savings account for our future that only she has access to, and i was literally planning on proposing this year :( idk what to do
can someone please give me advice? this is a list of things that my gf has done that have upset me and idk if im overreacting or what i should do anymore.
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going on vacation tomorrow for a week so i’m gonna have to eat normally might die tbh
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need my belly button to be a vertical line. then i will know i’ve won
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listening to music i listened to when i was the deepest into my ed and i am very triggered to never eat again🩷
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my gf said my body is like a renaissance statue and i know she meant well but damn was that a nicer way of calling me fat
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i cannot express enough how thankful i am for all of you for making me feel less alone
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i’ve been so inactive oops but i haven’t been deserving of being on edtwt ive been eating an embarrassing amount
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thanks for all the well wishes <3 it went great!! everyone there is sooo sweet (and i’m skinnier than like all of them so that made me happy)
first day at my new job today i feel like im gonna be sick im so anxious
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does anyone have tips for restricting when i’m living with my gf who is almost fully recovered from ana bc….
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since we’re all sharing mine is my gf’s. ex <3 (who is surprised i talk about it all the time) retroactive jealousy is a BITCH
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side effect is loss in appetite and weight loss everyone cheer
finally having my med appointment today for anxiety and stuff!! praying they don’t give me ones that have a side effect of weight gain im so nervous
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have to lose as much weight before my doctors appointment next week so i don’t want to d word when they weigh me (im going to want to anyway)
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looking at thinspo ripping my hair out and crying on the floor is a daily occurrence
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i would literally do anything for this i’ve never had a best friend that’s also called me their best friend like….
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i did so good yesterday i only ate like three bites of a yogurt parfait bc my gf made me and i got away with not eating lunch or dinner so basically im winning the best ana award
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