Artemis Shields
@artemissongs
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Artemis Shields. She/her, they/them; he/him, 32. Jody-Coded Pash.
Joined January 2017
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@liminallines_
To a bisexual twink from rural England a hot woman from new jersey was probably the equivalent of seeing Aphrodite tbh
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@cavehag
The water immediately coming to welcome her back, the way she floats over to it before even forming a body bc of the visceral need she has to use it and be around it; so much fucking character and personality shown just off the visuals
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@velsmells
When you wanna be sexy for your boyfriend but he’s getting the wrong kind of oil everywhere 😔
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@velsmells
All of this is perfect and insane but Ram having to look up who Optimus Prime is is the funniest post sex question possible
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Seeing the tomb is empty trending and momentarily forgot christianity existed and tor had dropped a nona thing instead
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This is unironically the plot to the locked tomb
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Sometimes I remember Harrow half hallucinated/half heard Gideon murmur wedding vows into her ear as she faded into her soul and then had the gall to say ‘See you on the flipside sugarlips’ and thats not????? From a fanfiction?????
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Jesus when all the apostles finally got to heaven
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Really roundabout way of saying you wanna make out with Margot Robbie tbh
Karen Gillan says she’s interested in playing Poison Ivy in James Gunn's DCU.
She also wants to portray the relationship between Ivy and Harley in live-action.
(Source: )
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Very important you all know- Harrow hasnt seen Gideon since she was 17 and she’s nearly 19 now
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The Ninth House is so funny, a festering pit of heretics all in macabre makeup so rarely interacting with the outside universe that one of the few times any of its Heirs interact with other people it kicks off the apocalypse *and* the worlds strangest Bachelorette competition
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Gideon Nav
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saw a butch with a service dog patch on their jacket and the visceral level of need i experienced......
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the locked tomb books all coming out in a four year span is maybe the most insane part of the whole series to me
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nona got to live more in 6 months then harrow did in 18 years
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Harrow: Oh god she’s finally going to kiss me
Gideon, in truth: This own is gonna be so funny
As she approached Harrow grew very still, and her throat worked, and her eyes opened black and wide: she looked at Gideon without breathing in, her mouth frozen, her hands unmoving, a perfect bone carving of a person.
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TMuir having to look up what chussy is and promptly telling all of us we’re going to hell (affectionate) after she knows what it is is so fucking brilliant I’m gonna cry
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Its really too bad babs is dead cause I would love to have seen his reaction to finding out that Gideon's sum total experience with a rapier was a couple months lmao
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I just remember that Kiriona and Ianthe actually have friendship bracelets, a secret handshake and more then passing casualness with each other and the second Harrow’s body is in trouble the most broken version of Gideon Nav rushes to her side totally forgetting her bestie lmao
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Harrow fucks me up. She hates being alive. She deals with 200 weeping children all the time. She thinks of herself as a walking abomination of nature. And then she does the worst thing possible in her mind- she becomes a burden for Gideon and Gideon takes care of her w/o a murmur
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I wanna meet the people who knew what the answer to that question was. I wanna meet the 76 year old living in madison wisconsin who knows what gideon the ninth is and just saw it on jeopardy fully delighted to know the answer. Please god let me meet any of them
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the locked tomb has a lot to say about death and grief and how we both mismanage and cope with those things but also its very much about life and how tenacious you can be in fighting for it and I cannot wait for nona to pay off on that
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@cavehag
I wish so badly that instead of it being totally cured it had stuck around but only if she got super angry, that only if she reached into this moment and found her rage that it would mirror over, a literal blinding
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Would like to point out that when Nona calls Gideon the saddest girl in the world that is the soul of the planet earth, the thing that has seen every human ever born looking at our girl and saying 'oh christ thats heartbreak made flesh'
#ntnspoilers
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muir is so very good at writing bc you really have to think about how weird and just macabre so much of the setting is because she immerses you in the world so easily that you forget that any of it is weird right up until shit like Nona’s tantrum driving home how horrifying it is
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@velsmells
Omnic Hana is actually so cute but you just know she makes a joke like “Awww Im really glad we love each other but neither of us have mouths and I really wanted to kiss you!” after their shrek one ending
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@velsmells
Hana in the aperture science tank top is the loudest 'I'm a Robot Fucker' signal she could send
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If Ianthe had pure white hair instead of her sickly straw blonde then we would've already gotten the first season of the locked tomb the animated series
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Ianthe
Heidi Montag snacks on bison heart as part of her raw meat diet
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Prince Kiriona Gaia and Prince Ianthe Naberius, Saint of Awe
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the end of gtn is on my mind and its a neat little touch of muir's that harrow getting gideon off the railing reads so easily. Like up till that point girl was the epitome of no physical strength necromancers. Really subtle way of messaging that shes a lyctor now lmao
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Oh my god the reason necromancy has theorems is because John Augustine and Mercymorn are all fucking scientists so they quantified it all
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Pyrrha Dve is so funny because she listened to Gideon talk about Harrow for maybe 10 minutes and was immediately like “Oh my daughters in a relationship with her necro time to bully her” and just did the ‘your girl’ shit like it wouldn’t fry Gideons brain
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Palamedes Sextus .000001 seconds after the Kaboom
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Wake is the character of all time. She haunts her daughter/her worstie their entire lives. She stone walls half the river bubble cast as a ghost. She has sex with two different people existing in one body. She hates God so much she gets pregnant just to kill him. Best Bi rep ever
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mentally running through the things muir has written that would warrant excommunication and realizing whatever she's got planned sits on a spectrum of 'killing god' to 'griddlehark have sex to turn the sun back on' levels on nonsense
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griddlehark
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someone on tumblr referred to gideon as “hunk of a girltoy” and I’ve never seen her described so aptly
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rereading the ending to gtn and didn't realize that when Gideon goes to check on Cam while Ianthe and Cytherea fight she lays her two hander down next to Harrow explicitly for company and I'm-
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Gideon the Ninth: The Musical with such hits as ‘Here on the First!’ a vaudeville style number sung by Teacher and the skeletons, ‘Dulcies Delight’ a pop number with sinister undertones as Gideon dotes on her and ‘Go Loud’ the hard rock mixed with contemporary classical piece
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Wait. Wait if its the pool scene. If the dream is the pool scene. Then the reason why they don't know who Nona is is because nobody but Gideon and Harrow know what happened down there. The very fact of their intimacy is preventing them from finding each other
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Whats cool about Griddlehark rn is Harrow has at least some happy memories about them but for Gideon all of those memories are just proof that Harrow was using her for her own ends
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Gideon Nav
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Gideon frantically tripping over herself to show this to Harrow
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gideon is hot but im sorry harrow is just the kinda woman i spend too much time thinking about. short, stick up her ass; snide and biting, at least 15 percent smarter then me in someways while being a catastrophic idiot in others and most importantly- can kill me
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The Tridentarii
Study Finds Nothing More Threatening Than Entirely Blonde Family:
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Remember how Gideon actually said that nothing she ever did was to make Harrow love her, that by implication everything she ever did was because Harrow asked and because she loved her selflessly??? Pepperidge Farms remembers
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Ianthe
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Ianthe tries to Gaslight Girlboss Girlicide her way into Harrows heart, Cor just Girl-Kings around and Judith is in 12 long fruitless years mode (repressed by 16 layers of uptight lesbianism)
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Missing Cytherea Loveday hours tbh, I miss her humor and her sunhats and her outlandish yet understandable need to psycho-sexually manipulate a butch for 2 months; she's the best lyctor I'm sorry she just is
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Pyrrha Dve raising Gideon by herself au, Gideon being an undercover BoE agent in the Cohort; getting herself assigned to infiltrate the prison above the Ninth and crashing thanks to ~reasons~ and meeting a bitter and isolated Harrow
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gideon sweeping harrow up in the midnight hagette hug is expected *by us* because we're privy to gideon's inner thinking. For Harrow she probably just sensed Gideon was about to do something reckless, stepped in cause that plus her own distaste and then gideon bear hugs her lmao
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Harrowhark rising to the occasion like a morning star, Coronabeth plaintively giving into Ianthe’s control; “death first to vultures and scavengers” Palamedes’ wild anger god is there anything like that entire post 2nd vs 6th sequence
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gideon is smarter then we think and harrow is dumber then we know i firmly believe this
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Harrow falling in love with Gideon is extremely funny in retrospect because it took Gideon being forced to adorn the ninth house paint and Harrow being anal retentive about it being Correct™️ for her to be like “Oh. Griddle is attractive.”
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The fact that Coronabeth laughed so hard at this shit tier level joke and Judith merely politely smiled like she was dying is so, so much funnier when you know that they’re in love with each other to a degree that it makes them certifiable
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@velsmells
@CherryWolfee
Him making himself slow down alongside her, feel his processes start to degrade and when she gets annoyed with him bc “You can continue on without me dummy!” he’s like “It is better to die laying at your side then to stand alone without you”
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Feeling a certain amount of neurons die and be born all at the same time after seeing this
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I love gideon the ninth so much because Harrow the Ninth is the love letter, Nona is what comes of the letter's aftermath but Gideon. Gideon is the reason the love letter is written.
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i wonder if when augustine was like 'my bones will rest easy next to yours' some part of him was like 'i got her. i got her again she can say or do nothing about that. owned. I owned you mercymorn for the last time.'
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I really do think if Gideon had kissed Harrow instead of making a joke to cover her hurt they would've A) broken all the rules and found a way to beat Cytherea w/o lyctorhood B) Realized they had feelings and C) had their first time in a damn pool lmao
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Griddlehark
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In gtn Harrow spends much of it drifting in and out of Gideon's pov but she's omnipresent regardless. She's there bc Gideon always thinks about her. Everything about them comes back to each other. Plus the reverse is true of htn, Gideon is there whether Harrow recalls her or not
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John Gaius upon being informed of the Saint of Duty's attacks upon Harrow the First
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The tlt crew at the beach is such a funny warm concept. Gideon stares at Harrow in a one piece. Cam has to deal with Corona in bikini. Ianthe goes nude when it is explicitly not a nude beach. Pal sits under an umbrella with Dulcie with his head in her lap. Magnus in a speedo
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I legit feel like Cam and Gideon are ‘Found each other in middle school, lifelong best friends; had sex one time just to see whether they had something together and stayed friends, be each others best man’ duo in modern au’s and I love them for it
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Coronabeth Tridentarius
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This is how so many of ya'll write griddlehark and I love it
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@velsmells
This is so sick and twisted bc someone catches this and an interviewer asks her about it and the way she has to fall into the practiced ease of lying to cover for him and her yet again…,
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Prince Kiriona Gaia, Tower Prince and Heir to the Prince Undying and Crown Him with Many Crowns Thy Full Gallant Legions He Found It in Him to Forgive
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Harrow and Alecto
thinking about sigourney weaver and winona ryder on the red carpet for alien: resurrection
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Harrow the Ninth
*nonchalantly at a party* so what kind of weaponry is your god vulnerable to
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Harrow is a necromantic genius on a whole ‘nother level because in three days she devised a flesh and bone magic spell so powerful and complex that a year on Ianthe still can’t undo the damn thing without blowing her jaw up
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