it’s directionally true… it’s emotionally true…

how did they make the bread british

https://t.co/nzdg5jyald

9am here btw

just noticed a man smelled of fresh laundry as we passed each other in the corridor. down so bad i should be shot out of a tree like a rabid raccoon

I’ve Learnt that People Are Less Likely to Take You Too Literally if You Post in Title Case. And Besides, I Like the Idea of People Reading My Posts in This Cadence

even more snoe than we thought. on the chairlift. tess is coming today. life is good :))))))

two separate confused drunk men tried to follow me home but i ducked into a bar then i saw this guy had loads of fun :)

this is the way home if i don’t make it tell my parents im retarded

we’re getting 20cm of snow tonight

i have not been around drunker people since college

i found what i was seeking there are bleach blonde australian zoomers wearing ski goggles backwards doing the cancan on a stage to a drunken british piano rendition of pink pony club

i’m going to trudge to a bar in -6 and thick falling snow like god intended so i don’t have to #bealone in a #foreigncountry

tbf this strategy Almost worked but the only guy who asked me out straight away is in the town six miles from here and has no car he can pick me up with

so i may have paid 19.99 to hinge to like almost every man on hinge in my age bracket at this ski resort so i wouldn’t have to eat alone tonight and here i am eating alone tonight getting a lot of ‘you seem uh interesting’ messages

what do you mean there are whole towns where there’s nowhere to dance? ew??

New years eve is all about explaining how you’d like to be stretched in your friend’s kitchen

be careful who you get involved with this year because every relationship is going to work out in 2026. the one night stands. the loveless marriages. everyone’s trapped. we’ve decided breakups are too sad

type thing a girl would say when she’s joining me in like two days……..

i demand to be taken seriously. thank you

very serious woman, 32 years of age