mir.i.am
@antizionist_jew
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Last Seen Profiles
When the Hibachi chef asks if you can catch a shrimp in your mouth
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I use this guy “😲” instead of these guys “😯 😧 😮” because I find his teeth endearing and whimsical
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I’m gonna start referring to unemployment as free agency
REPORT: NBA insider Shams Charania will enter free agency in the next 1-2 months.
Amazon and NBC could have interest, per
@sportsrapport
👀
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Puppy Bowl isn’t so cute when you remember they’re all gonna get CTE
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He’s talking about touching a woman consensually
This is the difference between Caitlin and I. I couldn't do this.
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If you can’t handle me when I’m white, you don’t deserve me when I’m black or Chinese
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*trying to make an older guy feel more comfortable about a large age gap* you’re so immature for your age
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People have criticized the Tesla Cybertruck for “not being a truck”…
I beg to differ!
Here’s a perfect example of the Cybertruck doing (Cyber)truck things:
📐📐📐
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No one knows how to satisfy you like your own brother ❤️
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tryna be like this, just in our bag & genuinely growing together while being each others biggest flex. some fuck everyone else type shit.
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This was virtue signaling and totally performative, clearly he was mentally ill and shouldn’t be treated like a martyr
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The “we can push Biden left!” people were right. He was pushed and he left
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George Costanza when he quit his job and tried to come back like nothing happened
Lizzo clarifies what she meant with her ‘I Quit’ post:
“When I say I quit, I mean I quit giving any negative energy attention… what I’m not gonna quit is the joy of my life, which is making music”
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Come and take it bitch
Anti-Zionist Jews, you guys have to give up Hanukkah. I’m sorry there’s just no way to logically square that.
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I’m a 9/11 last responder, I just arrived on the scene today. looks like it’s already been taken care of 👍🏼
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UConn had a double digit lead and y’all want me to believe a single bad call means the game is rigged for Iowa 😭
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*talking with HR about benefits* so when do i get the $401,000?
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she put her
pussy on the phone
but her
mic was
muted
⁃Rupi Kaur
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What’s your most Gen z opinion? Mine is that we should cancel Eminem
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I’m. not. Jewish !!! [my telekinesis throws all the loose change around the room]
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I would beat the shit out of yoda if he talked to me in that ridiculous manner.
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I had to get a breast reduction because my gay husband couldn’t stand to look at me
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*Obama at the dermatologist because he’s struggling with acne* uhhh let me be clear
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*forgetting the word for ambidextrous* my hands are bisexual
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Opening a restaurant with the dress code big t shirt no panties
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Flight attendant: You’re sitting in an exit row. Are you ready willing and able to assist in case of an emergency
Me, half an ambien and 2 bloody marys deep: Yeah
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Everything about this tweet is insane
Miranda Cosgrove reflects on stalker who lit himself on fire and fatally shot himself: ‘I just don’t feel super safe’
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Every white woman’s dream man is the Zodiac Killer because he represents true crime and astrology
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my fbi agent five minutes after i tweet “i’d suck dick for a glass of milk rn”
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Steve Harvey messed up announcing Miss Universe in 2015 and we didn’t call for him to step down from hosting Family Feud, just saying.
NOW - Biden: "And now I want to hand it over to the President of Ukraine... ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
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“Dogs don’t smile they’re just opening their mouth to breathe” ok then explain this.
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Once upon a time Pizza Hut ran a promotion where if you tried their new pizza, you would be sent a coupon code to go onto a website, choose from a library of songs and make a custom CD they would mail to you.
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Not my horny ass having a structured settlement but needing cash now 🤦♀️
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