liz
@anticapitalizm
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writer @lastweektonight / i don’t live here anymore
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i’m culturally catholic which means i feel guilty all the time and love stained glass windows & weird lil statues
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why was every book i read about eleanor roosevelt as a child like “despite being very ugly,”
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just once i’d like a pregnancy test commercial where the woman screams “FUCK” and smashes her apartment to bits
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hey man. do you have about three hours to answer some questions about your shirt
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may we all go out in such spectacular fashion: a hundred years old, universally beloved, and forcing people magazine into a frenzied reprint over a holiday weekend
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charlotte brontë
My copy of Pride & Prejudice ends with a selection of literary notables who hate Pride & Prejudice
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oh noooo what would happen then. would the president sanction a genocide. would roe v wade get overturned. would student loans not be forgiven. omg that would suckkkkk
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every few years we need a good “somethin got stuck” story (chilean miners, thai soccer team, big boat, tiny boat). really brings people together
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ok fuck gendered restrooms anyway but i just made a bunch of cis men very uncomfortable because i entered through a door labeled “ROOSTERS”. sorry i forgot which one that is. what am i a farmer
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you can say “macbeth” in a theater. it’s no big deal. sure, the one time i did that, every theater in the entire world closed due to the novel coronavirus, but that’s not gonna happen AGAIN
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watched the whole new season of the crown in one day and had to make this. sorry
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new terrible male behavior just dropped: tonight a complete stranger PULLED DOWN MY MASK and said “oh, pretty! i just had to check”
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i hope the discourse never ends. i want to post this every day
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hate when people are chronically late. reveals them to be selfish, scatterbrained, etc. unlike my own tardiness which is always merely a casualty of Poor Infrastructure
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whenever actors today are like “i dO aLL mY oWn sTunTs” it’s like ok you got a free trainer to help you lift some weights and barrel roll onto a mattress. anyone in a film before 1990 did 40 things in one take that would instantly kill any normal person. 80 if it was a musical
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if you live in nyc and ever call the fucking cops about a noise complaint you don’t actually want to live here. you just want to cosplay living in a fun city while actually being a huge loser narc. move to westchester you boring old bitch
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[studio PR firm frantically throwing shit at a wall] uhhHHHHHH what about "striking is homophobic"
LGBTQ Representation in Film Hits Peak While Officials Caution Hollywood Strikes Can Slow Progress
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being anti union is the most loser shit imaginable. genuinely can't wrap my mind around bending the knee to the bosses so willingly. even the most conservative members of my family are like hell yeah good on the strikers and fuck scabs. like have some fucking self respect my god
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@LukeMones
between the girl’s inconsolable wails and the “SOMEBODY CALL 911” i have no choice but to believe their car is a sentient being
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once again watched the whole new season of the crown in a single day. sorry
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every time
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whenever people think a labor union is asking for “too much” it’s good to remind them (and there’s no shortage of examples) that unless it’s demanded and codified in a contract, a corporation will NEVER voluntarily do right by the workers. power is never ceded; it must be seized
It’s the same fight. They’re exploiting a loophole that was granted when they were nascent. But despite growing larger than networks, they’re refusing to pay.
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many accusing me of not knowing what the supreme court is when i literally biked past it this morning....check urself. & godspeed to president skeleton's campaign strategy of "most of the same stuff is happening & groceries cost ten thousand dollars but at least i'm Respectable"
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ok wow thank u guys so much i love u all and don’t worry i had a great comeback: “i think you’d be prettier with a mask” ❤️
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hate when i wake up to find i drunk texted* my ex**
*emailed
**noam chomsky
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the string of shows announcing their returns this week in the wake of
@DrewBarrymore
were clearly just waiting for someone else to cave first to justify their own spinelessness. hope you feel good about Owning This Choice. our strike is temporary; this is your legacy forever
'Real Time With Bill Maher' Returning To Air Without Writers Amid Strike
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excellent report. my fav part: Amazon’s deal with the WGA was, once they hit 45 million subscribers, they’d have to pay writers higher residuals. they passed that mark and just said “no we didn’t ❤️” until the guild got the NLRB involved then they were like “lol ok you got us 🤪”
Read "The New Gatekeepers" to learn how
@Disney
,
@amazon
, and
@netflix
are positioning themselves to control all media:
#WGAstrong
#WGAstrike
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massive shoutout to IATSE folks who honored our 3AM picket line today. when crew refuses to cross, they often do so at the risk of their own paychecks — even though this isn’t their strike. IATSE have been essential allies to WGA. when their contract’s up, we’ll return the favor
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[youth pastor voice] you know who pulled the greatest “prank” of all?
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bob dylan tried to hype up the crowd at the beacon tonight by saying “the big apple…herman melville’s from here”
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got pepper sprayed tonight during yet another violent NYPD breakup of an entirely peaceful protest. thank you so much to the 2 strangers who led me, blind as shit, to safety & washed my eyes. hurts like hell for <5 mins, vision nearly restored within 10. scary but temporary
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how many people were swept into a near-baseless frenzy about a “day of jihad” in the united states that never materialized, seeding the ground for something like this to actually happen
We are shocked and disturbed to learn that a landlord in Chicago expressing anti-Muslim and anti-Palestinian views broke into a Muslim family's apartment and attacked them with a knife, injuring the mother and killing her 6-year-old son, Wadea Al-Fayoume.
@cairchicago
will hold a
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capitalists don’t even want a good economy. they’d rather deliberately make the economy worse than voluntarily cede one iota of power to workers or set the precedent that people matter more than profit
Property developer and CEO Tim Gurner: "We need to see unemployment rise. Unemployment has to jump 40, 50 percent in my view. We need to see pain in the economy. We need to remind people that they work for the employer, not the other way around."
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wtf i just logged off to watch a movie—the weight of the world should not be on a 15 year old’s shoulders. her family & this country have problems that predate this president & i don’t want to trivialize that. sending her love, hope she gets help. let’s focus on the big shit now.
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when paul hollywood complains about presentation when he made everyone bake an ice cream cake in 95 degree weather
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BREAKING: the president has removed mike pence from his top 8 on myspace
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my friend caught me glitching like a sim trying to keep up with a conversation i knew nothing about. see if you can spot the precise moment i gave up
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saw this well over a year ago and it has rattled around my skull ever since. at least eight words too long. was clearly written by a robot with a loose knowledge of wine mom culture. i hate it so much. i’m gonna punch a wall
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@HelloCullen
“bankers’ nieces” always gets me bc how do u even find out what someone’s uncle does. i don’t even know what mine do
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@zachsilberberg
akldghfs; how could i forget. the horrors of a republican presidency MUST remain under the control of a polite democrat
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.
@DrewBarrymore
returning set off a chain reaction of others following suit, but it’s cool to see her reversal has done the same thing. not easy to admit you were wrong and change course! hope these hosts do what late night did & find other ways to take care of staff & crew
'The Jennifer Hudson Show' Pushes Back Return Amid Writers Strike
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@ben_brasch
@ajc
[brian kemp whistling as he slides out of the state farm arena, soaking wet, hiding a wrench behind his back]
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GODDAMN RIGHT CARMELA SOPRANO DOESN'T CROSS A FUCKING PICKET LINE
Just spoke to Edie Falco who was supposed to appear at Peacock NewFront today to promote her new series. She will not cross our picket line and is canceling her appearance.
Thank you Edie.
#UnionStrong
#WGAStrong
#SAGAFTRASolidarity
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when a park closes at “dusk”—what does that mean? who decides? does a cop walk around with pantone swatches and hold them up to the sky?
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when paul hollywood dies he will awake in an empty tent, sweating profusely, a disembodied voice telling him he has 45 minutes to make a baked alaska Or Else. he fails. from the shadows, his own doppelgänger emerges. prowls around him. “Again.” the handshake never comes.
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“i had to watch footage of people suffering on my computer :( it was really hard”
“damn yeah that’s crazy”
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u literally will never make me feel bad for pointing out the obvious lmao. wasted enough of my youth arguing w/ strangers devoid of political imagination. i won’t meet you where you are but you deserve way more than you’re settling for. here i am at the supreme court bye
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on the final eve of SAG negotiations, if you come by the corner of 45th&6th and make some noises, we are disrupting what might be the last ryan murphy shoot for a long time. come yell! bring a whistle! drive by playing loud music! lean on your horn!
#WGAstrong
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imagine having this fanbase and not leveraging it for populist revolt
Police had to show up after people flooded street in New Jersey where Taylor Swift was seen entering a venue.
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emmys for all the PAs who collect the appearance release forms on how to with john wilson
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whenever i log off twitter i get my news the old fashioned way: wandering past the TV store and joining the little crowd that’s always watching the evening news on 12 different screens
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this dropped *minutes* after SAG refused to extend negotiations again. a transparent, pathetic attempt to make us more scared of the possibility of a long(er) strike than the reality of the industry they've broken. fuck that, fuck them, solidarity forever
#WGAstrong
EXCLUSIVE: Regardless of whether SAG-AFTRA goes on strike this week, the studios have no intention of sitting down with the Writers Guild for several more months
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do u think El*n did the headline removal thing specifically to get back at the onion
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netflix should have an option where you can watch a playlist of every holiday themed sitcom episode
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how can u watch the nicholas brothers dance down that staircase and still be impressed that chris pratt was paid to get a 6 pack. do u have any self respect.
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new rule: if two massive conglomerates want to merge their CEOs must fight to the death
Warner Bros and Paramount are discussing a potential merger.
(Source: )
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@JordanUhl
@atdanwhite
generally think beto is a stunt king (in a bad/self serving way) but this is good. the people who can infiltrate these sessions without getting murdered or arrested should make it impossible for these fuckin freaks to do anything in peace
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damn some intern really googled “quotes about notre dame” and didn’t read the context clues
For those who know Notre-Dame, no explanation's necessary.
Those who don't, no explanation will suffice.
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came all the way from Orlando to NYC to see The View; joined a WGA picket line instead. insanely cool
WGA Pickets ‘The View’ Again – This Time, A Vacationing Family Gave Up Their Tickets To Join Them
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lorne michaels frantically calling jeff goldblum to play the fly
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when notre dame loses but you still have to sing the alma mater
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romcom producer: [slamming fists against table] how am i supposed to know this bitch is SAD if she doesn't eat the macaroni STRAIGHT OUTTA THE POT????????
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don’t follow me if you’re going to yell at me for being a socialist it’s not my fault you didn’t read my handle
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@climaxximus
this can stain fabric but that’s literally the only downside. perfect pen. will fight to the death (using this pen)
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hard to overstate how much everyone on the line today wanted to give
@DrewBarrymore
the benefit of the doubt. people love her & enjoy working with her. but regardless of intentions, when this is who receives your actions favorably, you need to reevaluate strategy
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if i texted you between the hours of 1 and 5AM last night you may be entitled to compensation
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set aside how horrifically common nonconsensual recording is becoming: like 75% of the shit you have to talk about on a first date sucks out of context. dare u to record talking about your marketing job girlie! you think you’re the main character let’s see the dialogue!
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@felipetmedinaa
and a federal abortion ban would force your friends & loved ones into forced birth. many people are under extremely real, non-hypothetical, material threats whenever the next republican wins. i want present leadership to present a bold alternative path to protect us from that.❤️
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bigger, much more important shit to focus on: support protesters in Kenosha fighting for justice for Jacob Blake
🚨 The Milwaukee Freedom Fund is offering their support to Kenosha Protestors 🚨
Info from their Facebook page and their support request link:
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one of the greatest pieces of art ever made, a privilege to behold, a triumph of the human spirit, directing/acting/writing/editing that could never be replicated by AI, etc. so good that this incredible exchange is comparatively almost mid. i could go on forever (and i will)
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I AM SO MAD AT EVERYONE ALL THE TIME!!!!!😡😡🤬but also want to BURST INTO TEARS every SECOND I DRAW BREATH???😭😤🤯i will NEVER KNOW PEACE—my mind a MAELSTROM, my soul A TEMPEST; I WILL BE IN AGONY FOREVER
[goes to bathroom]
ohhhh. oh right. ok. you know what i figured it out
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ALBANY, NY - “White Boy Summer” came to a devastating end this afternoon, when disgraced governor Andrew Cuomo
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this movie is about the paddington villains exacting their revenge
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“wahhh new york is dead” well i just knocked on my neighbor’s door after locking myself out in a towel and she let me use our shared fire escape to climb out of her window and break into mine. whole ordeal took about 90 seconds, no questions asked. long live new york
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