i know we all say “this my last binge” “ana starts tomorrow” etc but like for me i GENUINELY believe it every time, i always believe tomorrow i’m gonna wake up a new person and be able to save myself from destruction and be better but i never manage to and i feel so stupid !!!
can’t go three seconds without thinking about what i’m gonna eat later, calorie amounts, meal plans for the week, potential grocery lists, or my weight
guys i found these at target and if you can you NEED to try them they taste so good and its only 60 calories for 2 cookies and 7g of fiber !! basically just a better version of an oreo
projectile vomited all over myself and the bathroom while purging then had to go to my backyard and rinse off my sweatpants and crocs off with the hose bc they were too covered in vomit to even put in the wash then had to scrub my entire bathroom down 😃😃
if you ever think you’re insane just know almost every time i buy binge food i drive to a walmart a whole town over bc i’m so scared someones gonna see me😭😭
binging literally isn’t even satisfying to me anymore and i don’t really crave doing it either but i still can’t stop bc i don’t know what else to do with my life (pathetic i know) and i use it to drown out every other feeling i have bc food guilt and shame is easier
if anyone’s wondering how my little intuitive “lets eat whatever i want without guilt” day is going i ate so much i genuinely thought my stomach was gonna burst and had to purge for the first time in years
you know what i’m just gonna eat normally and have whatever i want today with no guilt i feel like everything’s been so hard for me recently bc i’ve been so hard on myself and i feel guilt no matter what i do so i feel like a day that i don’t count calories or steps and