♡jay♡ ((edtwt))
@anas_my_bsf
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♥︎20 y/o♥︎ ♥︎bmi- 18.9♥︎ (hate it) ♥︎autistic/bpd/ana♥︎ ♥︎AFAB- Genderfluid ♥︎
Joined December 2023
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Last body checks before I start forced recovery ♥︎
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I told a nurse my bmi was 15.9 and said "I don't look underweight tho do I haha" and he was all like "I'd say ur pretty healthy actually" like... EXCUSE ME?, so I shown him the bmi app thing and he said he'd consider my weight average. sir, I'm severely underweight wdym?
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@gh05tGir1
It was literally just a comment I literally don't look underweight? How u gon get mad at me for being disordered when ur literally on a disordered subtype of twt get over urself ❤
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BC♥︎ hit my target ugw today, still feel big but I'm really happy nonetheless 🥰
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Thought I'd weigh in one last time before they move me from general to psych, but omg guys omg, NEW LW NEW BMI 🎉🎉🎉 bmi 15s babyyyy🥳
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Bc♥︎ // good morning everyone, I'm up very early today, currently 17 hours into my fast💖 also how cute are these pyjamas!!??🎀🌸
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Bc ♥︎ down to 41kgs now 🥰 hope everyone's day is going/going to be good!💖
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Bc ♥︎ // getting closer to my ultimate ugw I'm getting so excited 🥰
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Bc🌸 // today's fit ♥︎, ignore my 1:1 just chilling in the corner 😭
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My 1:1 nursing assistant in the hosptial just told me I should go into modeling bc I have the figure for it😭 I lit had to record (my face, her voice obviously) asking her "what did you say" (so shed repeat herself) to prove it bc she KNOWS I have an ed 😭
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Uhm guys....OMGOMGOMG, I lost what I put on over valentines and a little extra! New bmi!!
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♥︎New
#edtwt
intro ♥︎
♡20♡
♡not fat phobic♡
♡bmi- 17.9♡
♡Ana journal account♡
♡Pro recovery!!♡
♡genderfluid - AFAB♡
♡Autistic, borderline, ana♡
♡UK♡
(Follow for follow I'll also try to interact as much as I can!)
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Just an update for the moots who care, I've been struggling with extream hunger in this forced recovery and I'm dreading weighing in tomorrow becuase tomorrow is weigh day on the ward, its all so new and weird, I'm still struggling alot though :(
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So close to hitting the 14s now 🥳 and closer to hitting my gw too!!
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Still not got a bed for me at psych yet, so I weighed in again today, lost a lil more!! 😁
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Forgot to post my omad breakfast from this morning so here it is💖
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I've been abit inactive due to being on psych I've been really unwell with my other mental health issues but I plan to come back on here full time very soon as I am not in recovery, I'm going to do a wieiad later on too as I've lowered my intake again, stay safe yall❤️🩹
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Todays omad 😁 not on any meal plans yet so I can do whtvr the fuck I want which makes me happy!
Grenade bar- 203c
Protien pudding- 158c
40g Banana- 36c
495 calories all together
💖💖💖
(I didn't count the cals of the Coffee bc I use calorie free sweetener/coffee creamer
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Started my day with Porridge, strawberrys, protien pudding and coffee for breakfast! And then started a fast too! Let's see how this goes, wish me luck!
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Omad and starting my first 48 hour fast I'm pretty nervous as I don't want to get sick but I'm gunna try anyway, wish me luck!
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Got brought to psych this morning, waiting for a diatition so they'll be trying to force recov on me at any moment now and I'm just not gunna engage, I wanna go home :(,
On lighter note
Here's todays cray cray breakfast
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Broke my fast with my usual omad, my Porridge was under done thanks to the hosptial but ahh well the fast went really well! 💖
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BC♥︎// back with the hello kitty pjs, it was abit awk doing bcs infront of 2:1s just told them I was taking pics of my fit 😭
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Breakfast🍓on the general ward, they let me bring in all my safe foods 🥰 I'm under a five two section rn which is a hold to depend what happens next, I might be going back to psych on a section, they also said they're worried about my ed lollol
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Weighed in just before I broke my fast, lost 0.2kg quite happy about it
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Not me trying to make my disordered behaviours sound non disordered to non disordered people
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I'm fasting, I'm restricting, I'm doing everything but since I hit Low bmi 15s I havnt been able to lose anything :( how do I go about it from here? Do I up my intake and excerise more or do I lower it and excerise less bc I physically can't do both and it's frustrating me
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Kinda contradicting myself by saying I was lowering my intake bc I suddenly decided I'm trying salad at dinner today (the wards salad) but I have food scales from home so I'll still be calorie counting ect, and I'm gunna try and make my intake max 400 in a day so we will see!
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This is how my night is going, if I wanna eat over my calorie limit I have to earn it.
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So very close to 40kgs 🥰 next weight goal will be 38kg then ill try to maintain I think bc that's my dream weight, I'll be bmi 14.5 by that time 💖
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I am alive and Half well, did some shit and now I'm being put through to theartre, sorry if I scared anyone wasn't quite with it
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Today's shop came to a total of £26 😭 I'm shopping like I'm made of money kmn
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Got myself some mini cutlery I'm literally so happy and excited to use it! 🥰
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How do yall deal with constipation? I havnt been to the toilet in over a week, milk and magnesium isn't helping, I've just had 2 fibre 90 cal brownies and I'm about to jug some water but I really dk what to do
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Does anyone else's heart suddenly feel weird and their chest gets super heavy and tight when they're falling asleep and you feel like ur about to vom while sinking deep into the bed, and like ur uncontrollably holding ur breath bc that's been happening alot recently :/
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Had to end an restart my fast as my friend wanted to eat this cheese cake with me 😪 it was real good tho
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Being on 1:1 makes it hard to take my fluids off, get my shoes on and run😭 I've got an escape plan for the morning tho, not gunna give them the chance to put me back in that godawful psychward, they can do one
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I'm really struggling with my fasts, I'm emetophobic so when I start feeling sick I'm having to break them, anyone got any tips on how I can get by without feeling so ill? Please lmk if you do! ♥︎
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Tw// Having a super bad day with my psychosis so ended up binging, then purging for the first time in my life, I couldn't even get it all up which sucked, and staff threatened to put hands on (restraints) if I didn't stop ;(
How do yall purge fr?
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Oh so I did manage to run away this morning but got literally CARRIED by police back to my bed on the general ward, cuffed wrists with leg straps aswell as being restrained for 45 mins how fun!
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IM SO SO CLOSE TO BMI 15s, im also back at my LW!! 🥰 (got my sister to sneak my scale in my hospital bag bc she lowkey enables me lmao)
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I could've probably gone longer but I decided to ease myself Into longer fasts, I did it though!!
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Here are my 2024 Ed rules, if you think of anything else I should ask please comment and let me know! ♥︎
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My carer: you seem to be doing better with your eating!
Me who's literally going home to c/s all this that I've just bought with her 😭
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Broke my fast with this breakfast this morning :) but I put the wrong grenade bar in the pic, I ended up having the caramel chows one instead my bad lol
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Hw vs now (not at my lw currently but I'm not far off!) Also face reveal!! Idc if my irls find me tbh they all know I'm disordered anyway💀
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My Snack hoarding is so bad, when I was going reorganising it I found moldy chocolate 😭
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Been fasting for an hour longer everytime, managed to do 26h this time! ☆☆
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Tried a new yogurt today that my partner recommended, told my sister to get it for me as I'm locked in the loony bin, she got me the wrong one but it was Low in cals anyway so it didn't really matter,
anyhow here's today's OMAD 💖
496cals♥︎
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I'm rather good at my ed or pregnant bc I havnt had a period in 2 months now, I did a test like 2 weeks ago and it was negative, might do another one today, pray for me
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These are from a couple of years ago, first pic I was about 60kg, second I was about 44kg
I'm 162cm
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Eating a whole ass dinner in the morning 😭 who cares its my metab day
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Excited to be able to have my salted caramel flavoured coffees again :)
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Finally completed a 48 hour fast although I didn't even lose anything so I don't even see this as a win 😒😒
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Tonight's relapse might be my last if u get my drift LMAO
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My longest fast broken ✨ I actually quite enjoyed being forced to be mil by mouth lmao
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I did my hair yesterday, got both my eyebrows pireced, got a smaller bar for my bridge AND sized my septum up, it's been a really hectic past 2 days 😭
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Found these in tesco gunna try them tomorrow when I've completed my fast :)
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What I had for tea, there was sso much and I'm so full but I'm really trying, I don't want to get better but I have too, I'll do it for the people around me, so here is my dinner
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Valentines day calories don't count 💖 happy valentines day everybody! 🥰
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First Coffee in the new house! Not finished unpacking and moving furniture yet but I survived my first night!!!
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My valentines stuff for my partner, they loved ittt 🥰we are sharing the sweets rn ☺️
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Last hand check w my nails since they're starting to come off :(
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