Amy 💕
@ammyy_sethi
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Following
193
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37,042
Statuses
162,137
Married || Shayari I tweet is part of my collection || Sufi music 💕|| Don't follow for FB || No Tagging || 👇🏻link for my tweets||
India
Joined May 2015
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Pinned Tweet
Just because a woman is beautiful and polite to you, it doesn't mean that she is interested.
It means she was raised in a liberal atmosphere. Or may be her spouse has held her hand strongly without invading her personal space.
🌹
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Today I told my husband, "I love you."
He is hiding his cheque book, ATM cards since then.
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I've prepared a romantic bubble water for my husband.
He wasn't impressed!
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A girl who has a crush on my son has asked him out for a movie date.
My son is avoiding her... He says movie toh dekhne nahi degi bas chabar chabar dimag khayegi... And above all he is asking me... Mom aap bhi aise hi Dad ka dimaag khate the???
🙄
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Sex is like a gas station.
Sometimes you get full service, sometimes you gotta ask for service and sometimes you have to be happy with self service.
😉
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I wish there was a way to donate Fat like you can donate blood.
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Friend (female) : I'm experiencing knee pain from few days, suggest something...
Me : Change the position babes! 😂
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A man should be like Coffee... Strong, Hot, And keeps you awake at night. 😉
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Security level in India
Knock Knock
-Kaun hai?
"Main hun.."
Opens the door.
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What is mutual understanding???
Wife : I love you!
Husband : Kitne paise chahiye???
Husband : I love you!
Wife : Ruko, bacche soye nahi abhi!
🤷🏻😉
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Morning sex is the best way to rejuvenate your mind, body and soul after a long and tiring Diwali celebration! 😉
#GoodMorningTwitterWorld
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Didi ke 12 Ex, 6 bestie,
5 boyfriend, 4 crush. . .
Didi ka dil hai ya boys hostel... 🙄😂
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Kuch log jo DM mei poochte hai...
Lunch kiya?
Dinner hua aapka?
Bhai tune bartan maanjne hai kya?
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Boy : Can I kiss you??
Girl : No, before marriage we don't do anything.
Boy : OK.. Inform me when you get married.
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When women wears a bikni, they reveal 90%of their body.... Men are so polite that they look at the covered parts.
👌
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Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression and helps you to live longer.... Until he start to Snore!
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Dear Men
If you can't control your woman....
Then you've found the right one... 😂
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A man who thinks he's smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
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Husband : Cricket wala channel lagao....
Wife : Nahi lagaungi...
Husband : Dekh lunga. 😈
Wife : Kya dekh loge..???
Husband : Yahi channel jo tum dekh rahi ho.... 😬
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My landlady sent me this thali... Bajra ki roti, kadhi, mint raita and kheer! She is awesome!!!!😋
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Some people need to understand that this is Twitter and not Tinder.
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रावण को जलाने से पहले
रावण को खड़ा भी हमलोग करते हैं..!!!
- शुभम्
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My bank messaged me saying,
"Stay healthy, Stay Safe!"
I replied, "You Too!"
🤷🏻😂
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Money only impresses lazy women. When a woman works hard, a man with money is a bonus, not a ladder to upgrade.
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If tequila, vodka, whiskey, gin and rum are called spirits, then those who consume them should be called...
"Spiritual People!"
🙏🥂
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टीचर :Escalator को हिंदी में क्या कहते हैं???
स्टूडेंट : मैं ठहरा रहा, ज़मीन चलने लगी!!!!
😂
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If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, that's a different story.
😉
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ओरिजनल ID से ब्लॉक करके...
फ़ेक ID से नज़र बनाए रखना
भी इश्क़ है!!!
😉
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Crush ho ya brush
waqt par badal lena chahiye..
Warna dil ho ya daant
toot hi jayega!!!!
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No husband ever said,
"I have a lovely and understanding wife."
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Who wants to meet me in real ????
Warning : Reply dene se pehle soch lena... I love food. Bill nahi dungi. 😂
#Trending
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You know what's Sexy??
A real conversation with a real person!!!!
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Important Tip for men...
The most dangerous animal in the world is a silent smiling woman.
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My husband wanted to relax with essential oils, I gave him chloroform. Now I could also relax!!!!
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The way we are locked down.....
After 21 days Modi ji will address the Nation saying....
Hathiyon...!!! 🐘
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Hamesha acha
gyaan dene wala insan
Zindagi mei sare
kaand kar chuka hota hai!
😉
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People who are slim and eat everything from pizza to samosa and don't exercise at all are the ones I hate the most!
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अल्प विराम का महत्व
1- चलो, पूजा करते हैं।
२- चलो पूजा, करते हैं।
😅😜🤪
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I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is....
Scaring men is easy!!!
😉
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विवाहित महिलाओं द्वारा बोला जाने वाला सबसे बड़ा झूठ
.
.
.
.
☝🏻इन्हें पूछना पड़ेगा 😷
😝
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Teacher : Maa Baap k bagair Ghar kya hai???
Student : Girlfriend ko bulane ki behtareen jagah!
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जिक्र तिल का था ...
जब गुड़ पे लगा तो गज़क हो गया,
जब गाल पे लगा तो गजब हो गया !!
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My liquid diet is going fabulously.
After 2 pegs of Bacardi I no longer care about how fat I am.
🤷🥃
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The most dangerous animal in the world is a smiling woman sitting in silence.
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What is 'burning love?'
It's when at night you reach out for the 'Vaseline gel' and pick up 'Vicks vaporub' by mistake.
😂
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If husband gets up early he let his wife sleep till late but when wife gets up early she doesn't let her husband sleep. Why???
#goodmorning
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Females never listen properly...
Wife : I lost my keys again!
Husband : it's in your jeans.
Wife : Don't drag my family into this....
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Aadmi aur Aurat ka rishta bhi ajeeb hota hai....
Dur raho toh judai
Aur
Pass raho tuh ladai!
🤪
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I think most of the adult population just needs a good fuck and a cold beer.
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OK Google
Call my wife and tell her that I'll be late and won't be there for dinner.
Google Assistant : OK, will do that.
After sometime.....
Google Assistant : Next time, you talk to your wife yourself.
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Waise husband itne bure bhi nahi hote jitne ham apne dimag mei soch lete hain!
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Man to his wife : "Business is going down, if you learn to cook, we can remove our cook."
Wife : "Dear husband, if you learn to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener and watchman too!"
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Other countries : -
Let's congratulate the bride and groom.
India : -
Pehle khana kha lete hain, baad mei bheed ho jayegi....
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On February 14, there will be 7 types of corona viruses:
1. Corona
2. Aur Corona
3. Bas corona
4. Mat corona
5. Dheere se corona
6. Zor se corona
7. Ek bar aur corona
🤐😂
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Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
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Covid has made us forget HIV
अब फ़क से डर नहीं लगता साहब कफ़ से लगता है!
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Ladies if he is feeling depressed.... Don't only open your heart, open your arms!!
😉
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Opinions are like orgasms...!
Mine is more important and I really don't care if you have one.
🙄😂
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Three signs of being a Woman :
Stressed
Depressed
Still well - dressed!
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