Alan Davies
@alandaviescomic
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126
comedian formerly known as @alandavies1 (before being hacked by bitcoin scammers and locked out of my account by X🤷🏻♂️)
London, England
Joined July 2023
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Took the kids to England v Brazil.
During the 2nd half the bloke next to me said:
Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
Yes
Are you James May?
No
Are you sure?
Yes
Positive?
Yes
Oh, ok.
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Once I was on a train and I could see quite far up the aisle. There was a kid coming down it, aged about 14. Eventually he arrived in front of me. He stared at my face for a few seconds and then said: ‘Nah, that’s not James May.’ Then he turned around and went all the way back.
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Look what I’ve just found. Episode 1, series 1. Never used to throw anything away…
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Huge respect to Dele Alli for speaking out. He’s a young man and it’s unusual to find the courage to tell your story when what happened feels so recent. I hope he has friends supporting him. It took me until I was in my 50s to tell my own story of abuse.
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Hello, my old account, the terminally tedious
@alandavies1
has been hacked by fraudstsers trying to extort bitcoin for a non-existent cancer charity. This is conduct entirely befitting the new twitter but I disapprove. I’ve lost my followers so appreciate all of you all the more.
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I used to watch the jungle show, didn’t bother last year because of Hancock but this year I’d rather break my telly than have five seconds in the company of this #%^*
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I don’t remember saying any of this but I stand by every word.
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I love Australia, I first visited 35 years ago and have been back many times since, most recently in August, working and visiting family and friends. This No vote is is not a good look for the country, not a good look at all.
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Still not over this
Post a cancelled TV show you wish would come back.
Whites, in its mere 6 episodes, is one of the funniest, most brilliant things to ever be cancelled.
@alandavies1
, please make it come back (I don’t care that it’s been 13 years).
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Terribly sad news this morning that
@calbo
has passed away. I can’t believe it and my heart goes out to Cal’s family. I don’t know what’s happening in this pic but we’re obviously laughing about something as was usual. I hadn’t seen her for a few years and I’m shocked.
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And they can remember the passcodes for their phones…
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Bob Monkhouse, when meeting someone new, would hold out his hand, smile and say: ‘Bob Monkhouse.’
It put you at your ease.
First time I tried it was on meeting former Olympian Kriss Akabusi.
Holding out my hand I said:
Alan Davies!
What?
Alan Davies…
Oh, nice to meet you, Dave.
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Yes! England in a World Cup Final. Brilliant performance from the lionesses yet again. Lauren Hemp, Keira Walsh, Lucy Bronze superb, all of them were.
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If Braverman was that miserable about the terrible government she was at the heart of then she should have resigned ages ago. Toys launched from pram now heading for Rwanda. Dummy spat so far out she might be able to find it at the very back of the back benches where she belongs.
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I’m loving “60 Songs: BBC2 at 60”
It’s got everything from Jay-Z to Joni Mitchell, The Smiths to Stevie Wonder, Ella Fitzgerald to Stormzy, The Carpenters to Oasis.
Fantastic.
This is worth the licence fee on its own.
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Looks like Stuart Bingham’s brought a spare head and left it on the side
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He makes a persuasive case. Absolutely superb encapsulation of everything we have the opportunity to get rid of today.
Looking back on 14 years of the Tories is like looking back at the traumatising post-vindaloo shit you just did in the toilet.
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Hey
@BBCTheOneShow
Thanks for the opportunity to talk about the new series of QI. FYI I have a new X account because I lost
@alandavies1
after it was hacked. X say it’s IMPOSSIBLE to verify my identity. You could do a 4m 30 sec report on it.
That's it for our Tuesday
#TheOneShow
!💁♀️
🤗 Thanks to our guests,
@SandiTokvig
,
@AlanDavies1
and Sophie Rundle for joining
@JJenas8
and
@LaurenLaverne
on the sofas this evening 💚
Missed tonight's show? Catch it on
@BBCiPlayer
now 👉
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ttps://www.channel4.com/programmes/perfect-pub-walks-with-bill-bailey/on-demand/74502-001
Made a show with
@billbailey
in the Peak District. It’s on again on Tues or on the C4 app. We covered many topics including bereavement, abuse, Pooh sticks and the surprising speed of cows.
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It’s not official. I’m not on Facebook. Happy New Year.
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Hour and half until kick off for Arsenal v Moan Utd. Stadium is 1.5 miles away from my hotel. Just checked google maps and it says it’s a two hour walk. America is weird.
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Heard the R4 obit when Kissinger died. Tributes quoted from many people. Then-in the interests of balance-they quoted Rolling Stone magazine who said (paraphrasing) he was an evil bastard responsible for the deaths of millions. I’m going to get all my news from Rolling Stone now.
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Bring it back I reckon
Damned, the social services comedy starring Jo Brand,
@alandaviescomic
and
@ItsKevinEldon
, debuted 10 years ago today as a pilot on Sky Arts.
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This is my actual job. Nice panel on this show, lots of laughs.
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Very much enjoying Coutts’ new ‘no embarrassing racists’ policy. They’ve certainly embraced change on their journey…
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Apparently, Rishi got up during the last post, holding his phone and whispering:‘Sorry, gotta take this.’
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Thanks to the good people of Ealing for a great show last night, and to the punter who posted this, possibly in disbelief at how bleeding ancient I have become.
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What bunch of loon’s and weirdo’s did this…?
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I have mild PTSD from the experience. It was funny though.
The brand new series of David Mitchell's
#Outsiders
is just two weeks away.
Featuring unrivalled survivalling from
@1Judilove
,
@GuzKhanOfficial
,
@chrismccausland
,
@thatlaurasmyth
,
@alandaviescomic
and
@Roisinconaty
.
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Amazing to be on a bill with these two last night. Our combined ages were close to an incredible 100 years…
Me,
@alandavies1
and
@Herring1967
talking about how amazing my hair looks.
Brilliant night at
#EalingComedyFestival
- running next Thursday and Friday.
Photo:
@SteveBestPics
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Hmm, who wrote the script…?
@alandaviescomic
Was a bit taken aback when Lydia on Emmerdale made reference to “the thick one” on QI and quickly clarified that she wasn’t talking about Stephen Fry!!
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Had a space in my hectic fringe diary and filled it with a man doing a vent act with an apple. It was peak Edinburgh Fringe and one of the funniest shows I’ve seen for years, and it’s not listed under comedy. And his ventriloquism is next level. 5*
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Very much enjoyed the most recent review online for Just Ignore Him. All feedback gratefully received.
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Loving this classic by CLR James. Reading it on my holidays. Much more than a sports book, a social history of Trinidad and of British colonial and post colonial life and attitudes. Although published in the 60s its wisdom is timeless. Also superb for cricket lovers…
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It’s the U series, do you get it? Two hours I was like that.
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I've
#justdonated
to fund award winning Healthy Minds, Healthy Bods. A pioneering London based project, running since 2016 to astonishing feedback.. Donate on
@justgiving
and help raise 5000.00
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What are the refs doing? It all feels as bent as playing away in the nou camp in 2011.
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Not long after astounding crowds at the Ealing Comedy Festival I will be in Montreal with my longtime colleague
@eddieizzard
hopefully recreating the spirit of the Screaming Blue Murder in Merton circa 1991.
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This was fun to do. Rob Beckett’s Smart TV. Somewhere on sky or Now - not never - tonight 9pm
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Ha! You can’t get in with a password. Catch up. You need a QR code. But you can’t get in to get a QR code to get you in. So you’re out unless you can get in to get the QR code to get you in.
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This episode is on right now…
BRAND NEW QI tonight! BBC Two at 9pm.
This ep was truly HILARIOUS to record with delights
@sanditoksvig
@UrzilaCarlson
@RomeshRanga
& my perfectly normal friend Alan who has a NEW ACCOUNT ON HERE as he got hacked on the other, so please follow this one:
@alandaviescomic
👍🏻🍆🤡
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It’s The Tuesday Club end of season if, buts and maybes special.
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A one legged former soldier I met completed the London Marathon at the weekend. He’s raised a fair bit of money for limbless veterans but he’s short of his target so if you fancy chipping in, don’t hold back. Thanks.
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Lucy and Friends is the best thing I’ve seen at
#edfringe
for some time.
@lucy_muck
is an extraordinary performer with an unparalleled mix of humour, warmth, power, vulnerability and wine. So funny. The clean-up section was a highlight. Standing ovation well deserved.
6 stars.
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Amazing from
@OPope32
4 1/2 hours, 208 balls, 148* with only 68 in boundaries. A few more in the morning and you never know.
#TestCricket
is the best.
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Hmm…
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Have fun…
Sandi's just been on The One Show and she's announced her upcoming show 'ONE NIGHT ONLY' written with the QI Elves!
It's at Drury Lane Theatre for two nights (don't ask) on November 13th and 14th and you can get tickets at
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Here you go
@jennyeclair
Life hacks by Alan Davies.
It might change your life, but not enough to win him this week’s prize task.
#Taskmaster
@AlanDavies1
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Saw __willowen tonight and am convinced he’ll have a big future in comedy. So great to find a newcomer who is assured and funny throughout despite a small house. Showed no nerves, just got on with it and won us all over. See him if you want to laugh.
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This show was on hours ago
Before cane sugar was introduced to Europe, food was often sweetened with parsnips.
For more SUGAR & SPICE, check out tonight's episode of QI with Alan, Sandi, Alice Levine, Jason Manford and Rose Matafeo! BBC2 9:30pm.
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Went to see ‘Dear England’
@NationalTheatre
today. LOVED IT. Whole cast excellent. Very funny and quite moving and Joseph Fiennes reproduced some mannerisms of Gareth Southgate that were UNCANNY.
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Quick plug for my pal Felicity Ward’s tour dates. She deserves full houses.
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Thanks to the audience at
@WellsComFest
last night. Plenty of work and plenty of progress. ❤️
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I’m doing this. If you click on the link, go to the site and book for one of the other turns I shall be deeply wounded.
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I really appreciate this response to my work in progress show last week. I’m going to keep going down the same road. Thanks for the feedback.
@PleasanceComedy
fantastic show with
@alandaviescomic
Alan Davies. Subject matter close to HMHB’s hearts. Funny, moving, laugh out loud and thought provoking. Privilege to be there. Thanks so much.
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Brilliant show y’day from The Umbilical Brothers
@umbilicals
#edfringe
Very fun for all the family to be included in the numerous audience gags. The tech wizardry is inspired (and a long way from their hilarious stuff back in the 90s). They’re well worth all their 5* reviews.
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Saw Dear England tonight. Congratulations to Joseph Fiennes, amazing as Gareth Southgate but also to Dervla Kirwan & all the cast👍🏻👍🏻
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Struggled to find good children’s shows at
#edfringe
this year. There’s a gap in the market for older kids.
@NoiseNextDoor
were greatly missed as were
@MorganMagic
but John Hegley was a joy as ever.
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Well worth supporting Stuart, he lost his leg in Helmand province and is back on the marathon trail again, an amazing effort, and a good cause.
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Liam Brady
Which of these transfers away from Arsenal hurt you the most👇
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So, burgeoning newcomers. There are upcoming comedy shows in Ealing, once the home of Britain’s comedy elite at nearby Ealing Studios. Next week and the week after. I’m there on July 21.
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Saw this last night. It was great. Cast and writing both excellent. Funny, sad and raucous!
Everyone loves a wedding… 💒
#TillTheStarsComeDown
is playing in the
#DorfmanTheatre
until 16 March.
📸
@manuel_harlan
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Loved
@maxandivan
#edfringe
Very funny and surprisingly touching with the most uplifting and hilarious ending. 5*
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People were still going on about this one when I was growing up in the seventies
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Who are these people on
@footballontnt
ruining the Champions League highlights? It’s like a spoof. As if they were mature students studying a masters in football journalism in London for a year. Ugh, the arrogance 🤮
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Mark Tonderai is the ideal solution to this problem
It is NOT that hard to make a Blade movie FFS, get Mark Tonderai and call it.
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@fjd_gough
Hope you enjoyed it.
It’s
@alandaviescomic
these days fyi, since I was hacked and lost my old account.
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