Aimee Byrd
@aimeebyrdPYW
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Author of The Hope in Our Scars, The Sexual Reformation, Recovering From Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, & more.
Brunswick, MD
Joined October 2012
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The Hope In Our Scars releases in less than a month!! And we have a great package of bonus materials if you preorder, including extra footage from my interviews with
@NijayKGupta
,
@albpeeler
,
@kkdumez
, and
@chuckdegroat
! Follow the link in 🧵 to find out more:
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They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.
—Mexican Proverb
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The amount of pastors showing up in my notifications yesterday revealing that they cannot view & treat women as friends is terrifying. Pastors! The women in their congregations are either infantilized or sexualized. Dehumanized. Always a threat or someone who needs to be managed.
I’m thankful for this terrific piece of writing by
@aimeebyrdPYW
! This is a good message for the church! Why Can't We Be Friends?: Avoidance Is Not Purity
#Amazon
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There is either more to it, or The Village Church and Matt Chandler are sending a dangerous message about women, friendship, and the gospel. I write a little about it here:
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I can't even remember what we were critiquing involving Tim on MoS, but I do remember the email he sent me after that was so kind and inviting to conversation. One thing that stood out to me was that he contacted me, the woman, the lesser-ranked among the three, telling me he
Health Update: Today, Dad is being discharged from the hospital to receive hospice care at home. Over the past few days, he has asked us to pray with him often. He expressed many times through prayer his desire to go home to be with Jesus. His family is very sad because we... 1/3
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these stories are master class for peopling. Our tweets won't be remembered. How we treat people will. The friendships we build will. The number of people who can call us by our first name and know they have invitation and access to our care will. That's a legacy of its own.
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Me & my friend had a scary encounter with a man on top of the cliffs where we were hiking today. Had to use our brains & athleticism to escape him. So unfair how women have to remember they are prey when doing things like running or hiking. Was seriously ready to throw down today
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I don’t understand people who buy a set of *all the same* coffee mugs for their house. I mean, do they even love coffee? The first joy in the morning ritual is picking your mug. You can’t do that if they’re all the same. Never mind that these matching mugs are huge and artless.
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To those who are upset about my reflection on Shannon Harris’s book because she no longer identifies as a Christian 🧵:
1. Does her life still matter?
2. Does her life experience in the church still matter?
3. Does the bad theology she was immersed in matter? Was it Christian?
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Thankful for this stance and call by officers in my denomination, please read:
An Open Letter of Concerned Ministers and Elders in the OPC:
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The SBC report isn’t a surprise to many. It’s still so sickening to see. But it isn’t just the SBC. I’ve heard from enough to know the OPC & PCA have the same problems, aside from my own experience. And
#ACNAtoo
. Darkness is coming to light. How will God’s people respond?
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Here's a response to the latest CBMW article written about me and the online accusations regarding my speaking at a worship service last week.
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Hmmm, my book offers 7 reasons men & women can't be friends. This line of thinking tells on itself.
Pick good friends, people. More importantly learn to be a friend. I'm thankful for the male friends in my life. They promote holiness & are a gift to my marriage of 26 years.
I recently spoke with a man heartbroken because his pastor committed adultery.
The pastor started promoting Amy Byrd's "Why Can't We Be Friends" & encouraged men & women in the church to have close intimate friendships.
A year later he left ministry disqualified due to adultery
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Matt & I had the pastor & wife over for dinner to ask questions about the small church we've been visiting & I ended up telling them a summary of my story. I was up until 2AM trying to recover. And they responded w/empathy & understanding. They've seen the ugly too.
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This does so much harm to forefront. Our fundamental identity is that we are made in the image of God.
Our fundamental identity is that we are sinners in need of a Savior.
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I titled the 7th chapter of my next book w/the advice
@BethMooreLPM
gave me as I was reviled for being a female disciple of Christ: “Sometimes the Last Man Standing is a Woman.” It’s true: Song 8:10; Rev. 21:2. Beth will keep standing b/c her Bridegroom is notable among 10,000
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I am full of anxiety and grief on Sundays now.
But I know this: "My beloved is white and ruddy, Chief among ten thousand." (Song 5:10). And he still feeds among the lilies.
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Wow, just read 3 full pages of a 🧵 about me on the PuritanBoard making major leaps & assumptions about what I believe & what kind of person I am. What a waste of time ripping a sister apart that could be spent showing love to others. Oh well. Christ speaks very differently of me
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My son is putting together a portfolio for his Academy of Fine Arts program. He came up with the theme: causes and effects of self harm. This one is religious trauma, done with acrylic paint.
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Do you know what the Amazon
#1
Bestseller in Presbyterian Christianity is right now? All of you who keep saying this is a fringe few need to wake up.
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To the people tagging me about coed friendship: If your view of women is that you either need to avoid them or sexually conquer them, then you are the ones who need avoiding. But there is something much more concerning behind this...
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Law, Gospel, & Women:
One of the saddest things for me to learn in the last couple years is how hard, almost impossible, it is for some pastors and elders to repent--truly. These are the very ones who are supposed to be giving us the good news. Do they not believe it themselves?
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was a listener, and to keep up the good work, even as he pointed out his way of seeing things in disagreement. We corresponded for a while after that. I'm reading more stories similar to mine this morning. No matter where you stand on Tim's theology and work in NYC & the PCA,
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I read a tweet this week that's weighhing heavy on my soul: "Since I became a lead pastor, I can't remember the last time a person invited me out just to be together as human beings in the world. There Is always an ask always an agenda always a need." 1/3
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Been thinking about what
@BethMooreLPM
's departure from the SBC represents. She's in a position to speak for a lot of women in the church. She does it with courage, grace, and dignity. Our sons & daughters are watching. But are our church leaders? It's not only an SBC problem.
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It’s so obvious that there’s no actual coffee in the cups these people are “drinking” on TV. It’s insulting.
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It's time. And the weight is lifted to bring this to light.
Genevan Commons and The Qualifications for an Elder
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Okay, I'm going to say it. There's an understory here beyond the typical misogynistic comments...how much of women's tuition is keeping seminaries afloat who do not recognize or allow their ministerial gifts to unfold for the church?
A bunch of happy, well-fed (thanks
@LoganFarms_MS
!) new students at the
@RTSJackson
orientation lunch.
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This is what women are up against when they seek help from leaders in the church.
This is philosophically and theologically illiterate.
Thread:
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I dropped my baby off to college yesterday and all of y'all are going on like it's a normal day.
Sometimes I wish life had a pause button.
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Just read a handwritten letter that a 17-yr-old young woman sent to my church for me sharing how my work has edified her & encouraged her to pursue biblical studies. That’s the good stuff. And absolutely humbling to read.
#NoLittleWomen
#RecoveringFromBiblicalManhoodandWomanhood
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Women in workout videos with your hair down and styled: I cannot take you seriously.
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Removing Butler as a TGC speaker or fellow of their new Apologetics Center does not remove the theological system & Aristotelian anthropology that the book sprung from & was heavily promoted in. They do not cleanse themselves by erasing Butler. Or Driscoll. Or MacDonald.
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Wow, I continue to be sucker-punched by the covert ways the "Reformed" community blacklist their own. Funny what one really has to subscribe to in order to belong. That’s false belonging, not genuine community.
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My husband is mowing lawns for my dad’s landscaping business all day so I made him this ham sandwich with tomato & pickled jalapeños from my garden. Theology or sandwich making is a false dichotomy. He’s also happy to make his own sandwich & one for his wife.
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We've got a cover!
I can't wait to share all the work I've been doing in the Song of Songs & the eschatological anchoring of our sexuality!
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How come no one is talking about Only Murders in the Building? My dad told me about it and it’s so clever and funny. But can you ever go wrong with Steve Martin and Martin Short?
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And people get upset about the title of my book...
What is manhood? Manhood is doing hard things for God's glory and the good of others.
On City of God, Jason Dees and I discuss stuff men can do to train here: fixing things, hiking, gardening, shooting a gun.
Listen:
Subscribe:
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I'm overwhelmed by all the encouragement I received today. And full of gratitude that my writing has been edifying to some of you. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.
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And there it is, the delete without acknowledgment or apology that many of us have experienced. Is this complementarianism? Who pays, here? I do. I still have to deal with the impact. What does erasing history like this do to my personhood? Delete.
Wayne Grudem, as part of the marketing strategy for his book, accuses
@aimeebyrdPYW
of lying because she argues that his view of the Trinity is not properly Nicene, even though dozens of biblical scholars and theologians have made the very same point.
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It's been particularly vulnerable to meet w/new pastors as we are looking for a church home. I was recently sharing this w/one, my fears that when they Google me they will think I'm a trouble maker & nobody wants to be a trouble maker. She replied, "Well, let me know when you do!
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Wut in the actual hell? And let's not even bother spelling the woman's name correctly.
There are more beards than brain cells in this picture
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I guess I will respond to the outrageous claim of deepfaking ministers later. Spending time away with my husband for the day. I have my own screenshots and know the truth. This is sad.
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Zondervan just sent me this. The Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood video series is now streaming on MasterLectures. You can watch the series with a 14-day free trial at this link. The freeze frame shots though--egads.
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"Woe to him whose good name is more to him than goodness." —Buechner, Telling the Truth
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Meditating on John 13:35 this morning:
We can have all of our theology right (& WE DON’T, BTW) and not have love. Then we’ve missed Christ.
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
So thankful for the love of Christ. He will get us there
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So I am alerted to an article abt me, calling me apostate & an abomination to God. Wow. But that isn’t the worst part. The worst part is the posting of the pastor’s young children of the church I am attending. Why?! At first it made me so protective and mad for them. Yes. But…
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"What if you could recognize people of faith by how they spoke? By an absence of cliche or of dehumanizing mockery or glib consolations?"...
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12. Christ doesn't need a curated church to witness to his love. His love is real. He wants us to be real. Our God is a God of resurrection. Let's put this ugliness to death & watch him give life.
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I’ve been bumped up to arch-heretic status on my blog comments today. I would just like to thank all the followers of my evil sect. Off to make the morning Koolaide now...
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10. Do we only learn from Christians? Is our faith so weak that we may lose it if we do?
11. And to sum up Shannon’s memoir: Do women matter? Does love matter? What is the church without love? Is it of Christ?
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We both know our way in and out of the kitchen. I find joy in knowing he will be getting this sandwich made with love from me during a well-earned lunch break. Let’s restore the dignity of serving one another in love & not demean ordinary acts of kindness to “woman’s work.”
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Perhaps it’s CBMW who is leaving behind a vast number of sheep who were led astray by their writing, a way-station on the movement from wide complementarianism back to its Aristotelian roots.
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“How could I accept a place in a community if the cost for a seat at the table was silence?”
@esaumccaulley
#ReadingWhileBlack
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I expect critique. I get that there are jerks on the internet. But is this how church officers are supposed to behave?
Am I a Daughter of Sarah?
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A good start would be to stop calling abuse and the gross sin of not protecting and caring for Christ’s sheep but rather ignoring or turning on the victims “mistakes.” As
@wademullen
says, it’s always in the language.
A statement from SBC entity leaders and SBC president
@bartbarber
on the initiation of an investigation by the
@TheJusticeDept
.
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I do look forward to getting to know Junia on the new heavens and new earth and learn all about the ways she was honored to serve the Lord and spread the good news. There’s so much to learn after our glorification.
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Need to step away. There are so many more. So many. Are church officers able to do this? That's been my question all along with this group.
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Today I heard that I was called a "Jezebel" and a "ruthless wolf" on the floor at PSE presbytery meeting & even though there were 2 objections to that language, the moderator didn't stop it. Thankful that John Mahaffy spoke out on this:
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A Reflection After One Year Since My Book Released---as it keeps entering into ecclesial meetings & trials I see more & more yellow wallpaper and the need for recovery.
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8. Let’s not forget C.J. Mahaney & Josh Harris were members of the TGC Council
9. Can we be loving & mature enough to care deeply about those harmed by it all, to listen & learn from their stories, & reflect on how this has affected our churches, our theology, our behavior?
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One tactic I learned about this year that has really helped me on social media and more is called Sealioning. Being able to recognize it has helped me see I need to disengage, against my usual nature to want to answer someone's questions.
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I read Shannon Harris's memoir, The Woman They Wanted, this weekend. We went to high school together. Here is but one reflection of many after reading it:
@bonneshan
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Yep. Married going on 27 years. Never needed a tie breaker.
Been married 28 years. Never once needed a tie breaker. It's because we love one another instead of trying to control each other...
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4. Does the lack of emotional/spiritual maturity of church leaders matter?
5. How much influence has Sovereign Grace and Covenant Life Church had on evangelicalism?
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Things I've read about myself on Twitter today:
"I just can't pay attention to Aimee Byrd. Why do people care what a woman thinks about theology and the church?"
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Excited to announce the I just signed a contract with Zondervan for my upcoming book, The Sexual Reformation: Restoring the Dignity and Personhood of Man and Woman. (Somehow the first part of my thread didn't make the tweet)
The bulk of my work will be out of the Song of Songs, exploring the theological meaning behind our sexes, helping Christians to understand our sexuality as a gift, and to grasp the eschatological story our bodies tell of Christ’s love for his church.
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You know what, I do make myself unapproachable to certain types. My dad taught me that. Dig a little harder, man, you haven’t reached it yet.
@aimeebyrdPYW
May the Lord be with you. And one personal side note: in person, you give off an air of arrogance and unapproachableness rather than humility and approachableness. Do work on that.
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Our bodies are not merely biological. We know this intuitively. It is why sexual abuse is so traumatic—it is a deep violation of personhood and our eternal value. Our bodies are not merely earthly. They are part of the trajectories of divinely furnished prototypes!
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So strange to see friends who abandoned you during abuse posting with authority about how to discern and navigate the tactics of abusers. Let's address abusive cultures of faux-belonging.
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Where are the complementarian leaders with the influence in this movement standing up and calling out these men for this sinful behavior towards a sister? You're reaping the benefits of comp theology at the cost of your sisters.
Y’all, I’m a kind person. But I’m also a fighter. And I have hit my limit with
@DennyBurk
&
@colinsmo
. There behavior toward me has been despicable. They failed trying to smear my orthodoxy; they failed trying smear my church; so now they are trying to smear me as a mother.
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@TomBuck
This is ridiculous. The book is clear on what constitutes & how to cultivate holy friendship, and the red flags that signify immaturity, inability to grasp the orientation of affection or view others holistically, and predatory behavior.
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I repeat:
Stoicism is not true self control.
Aggression is not the same as courage.
Dominance is not leadership.
Violence is not the same as righteous anger.
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My son just told me some students were caught vaping in the boys room at school today. Found myself strangely lamenting that rebellion sounds much more pathetic in this generation.
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I don’t need Robert’s rules to know how we should treat people. Just the greatest commandments.
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This is a plea for my denomination to hire professionals on spiritual abuse: From where I’m standing, I can tell you that the OPC is not safe for many. Please let that sink in. I am saying that the church is not safe!
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Women, let's encourage one another that sometimes we need to be troublemakers!
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“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” —Helen Keller
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"Pastors, you face a choice: You can normalize treating women as whole people made in the image of God, or you can normalize objectification."
Can pastors please stop salivating over women's bodies in their sermons?
So pleased that
@baptist_news
allowed me to write this piece about megachurch pastor Jonathan Pokluda and the woman with body parts "in all the right places."
We deserve better.
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Deepfaking DARVO.
A man is revealed by the way he responds when the receipts are handed to him.
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I'm over at
@scotmcknight
's blog sharing an update on my working relationship with the Alliance and the news of my new blog.
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When your editor emails saying your manuscript is a "great work of biblical-theological depth and personal passion you clearly brought to it" and your revisions are minor.
#TheSexualReformation
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6. How many evangelical celebrity pastors were guest preachers at this church and how many books did they sell in their church bookstore those days? (This is a big rabbit hole)
7. What influence did Carolyn Mahaney’s books have on evangelical women’s ministries?
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My husband loves me enough to encourage me to speak up.
@smalltalksrvivr
It just seems to be what a lot of brodudes mean. Like in the
#gcscreenshots
when they asked if
@aimeebyrdhwt
’s husband loved her enough to tell her to shut up.
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Running all my housewife errands today and I see all you men walking out of the stores with your flowers. So stinking cute. But my husband knows I don’t like flowers on holidays. I’m good with obligatory bourbon though.
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Been almost a year since the release of Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. It came with a cost. And with freedom in belonging to Christ. I can’t tell you how encouraging it is to see women with more influence than me speaking truth about this movement.
Just heard from someone who is among the biggest mouthpieces there are for hyper complementarianism & he had no idea what I or any others had been through with some of these dudes. I want so badly to be kind & sweet. I’m a happy person. I love Jesus but I’m about to lose my mind.
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My oldest is getting her Masters as an speech language pathologist next month, my middle is killing it as a stylist at an organic salon, & my youngest is graduating HS & headed to JMU this fall. Our last senior prom, how can it be? Feeling overwhelmed & very blessed.
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Something that I am thinking a lot about that I observe is how many pastors do not have rich friendships, especially not w/people in their churches. It seems to be a protective measure but feels antithetical for a pastor to be in a culture where they have to be so guarded.
There are so many reasons pastors feel taxed and overwhelmed, and as a pastor turned pastor-to-pastors I and others are deeply involved in the formation and care of pastors.
But the reasons for the clergy crisis run deeper.
Pastors are formed within individualistic,
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Saw this graphic social media on *all* the cross references in the entire Bible & am flabbergasted by how there are zero coming by to or from the Song of Songs! Keep trying, people! Move along, nothing to see here…
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So thankful for the Song of Songs where I can go to see Christ's words to me.
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Since RFBMW was published, I hear from many who have "survived" the movement of "biblical" manhood & womanhood, with scars to bear witness. It messed with their marriages, their dignity, and even their faith.
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Why I was disturbed after listening to
@RawTheology
podcast with
@butlerjosh
, even as I appreciate healthy debate & hope that will continue.
Why it matters and who pays the cost.
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You've got to be kidding me.
The irony is thick that my so-called "feminism" is the concern.
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