Was messaging this guy on Grindr and I asked for a face pic... my coworker gets up from his desk, does a lap around me and the guy messages “that’s me” ...... I’m-
I went to the dermatologist the other day cause my face been hella dry n tell me why when I sat down the doc was like “what brings you in?” and before I could even say anything she goes “never mind I can see my answer”
When I was studying abroad I went out for lunch in this trendy spot with these really cool girls I was trying to impress. It was my first time ever eating quinoa, and this is how I prounced it infront of them all.
The lighter penguin is an elderly female whose partner died this year. The darker one is a younger male who lost his partner two years ago. Biologists have followed them as they meet every night to comfort each other. They stand for hours together watching the lights in Melbourne
Thinking about that time I was living in Spain and I brought home these three insanely attractive guys and as I stepped to the bathroom rq I came out to an empty living room and they jacked my laptop and my watch n i never saw them again
me sending an email to my coworkers: hey! did you by chance do that thing I asked? legit NO worries if not i'm only curious! sorry to bother. take your sweet time :) I love you
me texting my friends about it: these fucking RATS can't do anything on time they are shit!