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@_stillethan

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there's life outside of Med School.

Joined January 2023
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
people think depression means your sad and crying all the time. depression for me is being stuck in a twilight zone. i can't think , i don't respond to things , nothing is interesting , i just feel empty. not sad , just blank. i have a lot of days like this and they are hard .
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
random breakdowns are so annoying, because why am i crying when i was laughing and fine a minute ago??????!
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
i hate getting so sad to the point where my body completely shuts down, and all i can do is just lay there and think about all my problems.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
was I too much, or just not enough?
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
to survive always.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
i can't be a giver anymore. i want to be loved, nourished, taken care of, spoiled and prioritized. not just by words, by actions too.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
minsan, nakaka-tempt talaga maglaho bigla no. like fully cutting off the connection from people around you. idk, pero sometimes, pakiramdam ko talaga pinagkakaisahan ako ng lahat. like all of the people i had in my life were the same.
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
I said it's okay, I never said it doesn't hurt.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
how tf you mad at me for being mad at you about something you did to me
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
after all the disrespect, i was still kind.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
“kaya mo yan”‚ hindi na nga putangina
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@_stillethan
tantan
10 days
day by day, I'm training my heart to accept disappointments even from people i love.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
as much as I understand people, I wanna be understood too.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
i don't know what to feel anymore, i be like "aww it happened again, ok"
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
parang my entire life so far is all about surviving and healing lang haha nakakainggit yung literal na nabubuhay, nag eenjoy, walang inaayos, walang bitbit hahaha
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
the guilt after mo masungitan yung taong nag tatanong lang naman sayo
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
They always say that silent treatment is toxic. but no one talks the reason behind everyone's silence. all the begging, misunderstandings, invalidation and blaming that made us stop explaining our side.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
stop expecting.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
your actions told me to stop, so I did.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
the quickest way to lose me is to keep doing things i said i don't like
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
reassurance hits different when it’s not asked for
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
WHEN THINGS FEELS SO HEAVY ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
if you could see it from my point of view, you will understand why it hurts so much.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
no matter how traumatized i am, i still choose to give the purest love i can give
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
you know it's heavy when you cry while having a meal.
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@_stillethan
tantan
27 days
kaya ko naman mag isa, pero gusto ko rin ng kakampi. gusto ko rin ng magsasabing hindi natin sila bati.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
ang hirap magkaro'n ng soft spot, lagi kang hinahabol ng guilt everytime na magpapakatotoo ka sa emosyon at nararamdaman mo towards sa ginagawa nila sa 'yo. ang hirap mag set ng boundaries, ang hirap humindi, ang hirap maging mabait.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
after acads and finals, may we experience the best rest we deserve and may we feel our genuine happiness again.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
they had no idea how much strength it took me to even continue.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
syempre toxic traits mo talaga yung bigla bigla kang tatahimik at hindi mamamansin. ikaw ba naman lumaking hindi pinapakinggan every time nag eexplain ka.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
perhaps, what we really crave for is peace and to be loved by someone genuinely
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
let it end. let it hurt. let it heal. let it go.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
kinakaya ko naman eh kaso naiiyak talaga ako.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
but who can i lean to when i don't feel like being strong anymore
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
Despite of feeling tired, drained, and burned out from everything, I'm still here trying to figure out how to make everyone proud and to avoid being a failure.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
this attitude came from pain, i wasn't always like this.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
kailan kaya nila maiintindihan na kapag sinasabi ko 'yung nararamdaman ko, ayokong makipag talo, gusto ko lang maintindihan nila ako sa point of view ko.
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
how can you sleep knowing you've destroyed someone emotionaly?
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
it’s okay to quit on someone who is not trying, you deserve effort.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
i can't blame people getting tired of me, i get tired of me too.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
am i really that hard to understand?
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
the disrespect was so loud but the apology didn't make any sound
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
basta ako naniniwala ako sa "don't abuse a pure heart because you may never be offered one again."
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
it's always "buti pa sila."
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
i wish i could tell someone the whole story of why i am the way i am.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
don’t beg, don’t chase and don’t force. give the same energy they gave.
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@_stillethan
tantan
27 days
to forgive is easy, but to trust again is impossible
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
For your own sanity, let things be
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
ang lungkot na nakakapagod ang gulo hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah diko maintindihan.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
That fight between your mind and your heart ain’t no joke.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
the pressure of life is so real it makes you cry out of nowhere. even if you're doing great everyday, you will always find yourself sobbing your heart out because you re too scared to fail and to disappoint those people who believes in you.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
It'll be okay again, it just takes time
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
Ramdam ko yung pagod pero hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng pahinga ba yung kailangan ko.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
minsan talaga you end up with yourself saying, "hayaan mo na okay lang yun".
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
why do we feel sad over nothing? like, all of a sudden, we are suffering from something we cannot explain.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
sa sobrang understanding ko, naiintindihan ko kung bakit nyo ko ginagago
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
too young to die, but too painful to live.
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
I never wanted this.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
Totoo pala yung mawawalan ka ng gana because of sadness and pain.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
Stop giving someone mixed signals and false hopes. Stop making people feel special when you can't stand on it. If you don't like that person then, stop acting like you do. If you aren't ready yet for the commitment, say it to their face or just leave them alone.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
idk what to feel anymore
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
paulit ulit nalang din, kaya sanay nako.
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@_stillethan
tantan
27 days
hello July, gano ka kaya kasakit?
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
you have no right to call me "sensitive" in a negative way for being emotional and being affected by things easily. i am emotional because i understand and i was once in that place. i am sensitive because i don't want to experience it again.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
sana yung umiintindi, iniintindi rin
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
papagurin ka ng sarili mong utak hanggang sa mawalan ka ng gana sa lahat.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
minsan kailangan nating mawalan ng pakialam just to protect our peace. hindi puwedeng intindi lang tayo nang intindi, tapos tayo hindi iniintindi.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
kahit anong puyat at palipas ko ng gutom hindi pa rin ako namamátay.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
acting strong, but sheeesh di ko na po kinakaya your honor.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
eto tinatanggap nalang lahat
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
i hate it when i told you what i don't like yet you keep doing it anyway. i feel so disrespected.
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@_stillethan
tantan
10 days
you will never get the same me again.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
buti na lang binigyan ako ng ugaling kapag hinayaan ako, hinahayaan ko din'
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
"you look tired" yes I am so tired.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
"puyat ka nang puyat, maaga kang mama---" that's the point
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
if they act like they can Iive without you, let them.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
hindi ko na talaga alam
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
"bat mo ginagawang joke problema mo?" coping mechanism kopo yon
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
We have different levels of sensitivity, never invalidate someone's feelings.
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@_stillethan
tantan
26 days
nasa intro palang tayo ng july pero pang one month na lakas na yung nawala sa'kin.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
seriously, my head is full of unsaid thoughts and worries that is slowly killin' me.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
sorry but I believe bad treatment deserves bad response.
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
it's heavy. like, really, really heavy.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
if only my thoughts could scream.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
you save everyone but who saves you?
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
here we go again.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
nag he-heal sa mga trauma na di naman natin deserve.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
iniintindi ko kapag nasasaktan kayo sa actions ko, pero konting konsiderasyon sa nararamdaman ko wala?
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
sobrang powerful ko sana gumanti kung wala lang akong konsensiya
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
Di ako umiiyak para magpaawa, umiiyak ako kase solid yung sakit na naramdaman ko.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
i get trauma everytime i got to trust someone again. maybe because i was a victim of broken promises. i hate people who lied to me. i hate those who pretend to be on my side‚ but in the end they’ll leave me hanging.
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@_stillethan
tantan
20 days
minsan kailangan nating mawalan ng pakialam just to protect our peace.
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
it's always the "sorry sa nagawa ko" but never the "sorry kung ganyan naparamdam ko at naisip mo hayaan mo, babawi ako, and I will gain what should I need to gain to not make you feel that way again"
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
silent tears hold the loudest pain.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
never naman talaga tayo natuto. After being traumatized sasabak na naman uli. kasi nga we always seek for that genuine love.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
as of now hindi ko na rin alam
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@_stillethan
tantan
4 months
everybody dealing with a lot right now. i pray we all find peace.
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@_stillethan
tantan
2 months
“what do you do to avoid pain?” i give myself the silent treatment, stop talking, sleep, or distance myself until i feel okay.
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@_stillethan
tantan
1 month
you're supposed to say sorry when you did me wrong. how tf you mad?
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@_stillethan
tantan
3 months
bakit ka nag beg bobo kaba
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