Sole Woyinka
@_littlehuman_
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Following
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Statuses
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I prefer my puns intended.
Abuja, Nigeria
Joined December 2019
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Last Seen Profiles
How many chefs do you think were wrongfully executed in the medieval times because the King’s food tester had a food allergy?
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“You know what is romantic? Security”
Lady Featherington may your oil never run dry.
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Every bad behavior you see a man displaying towards you, he is very well aware of it.
Do yourself a favor and stop making excuses for him.
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The diarrhoea that comes with menstrual periods is highly unnecessary
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There is so much hunger in Nigeria, I don’t think you people understand, egg is 5200 Naira for a crate!
Eggs are supposed to be the affordable proteins.
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Being a strict babe is one of the best things you will ever do for yourself as a woman.
Especially if you’re a lover girl 😹
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I told my parents I want to experience living alone and they immediately increased my curfew😭.
Suddenly mouth has changed to “we are not stopping you from going out anytime you want ohh”🤣
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I cannot overestimate the huge leap of respect that you'd get from Nigerian parents when you start making money.
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Lagos to Abuja round trip went from 45k to 250k in 3 years without civil war.
Kaduna to Zaria went from N200 to N2000 in 8 years without civil war
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Omo if I like you, even looking for akara by 7am is a date
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Where do Bad Rainbows get sent to?
Prism
It's a light sentence, and gives them time to reflect🤭
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It is a xenograft when tilapia fish skin is placed on the bodies of burn victims, the collagen and omega3 help the skin heal faster and it helps in reducing the risk of infections and diseases.
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Please women I am begging you, Postinor 2 and Postpill are not candies or sweets.
They were not made for you to be popping like Vitamin C every two working days, these things have serious side effects!
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I know a man or woman complimenting you is wonderful but has a child ever complimented you before?.
"Excuse me aunty, you're so pretty"
Just like that, your entire month has been made.
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I truly appreciate people who can tell me when and why they are angry at me. It makes it so much easier to apologize and work at doing better.
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Bad roommates have the potential to fuck up your entire life
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I dislike people that have no depth.
Why is there no substance to you? Why are you not passionate about anything?
Why are you flat?
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Meanwhile he is begging one 22 year old unilag babe to stop calling him “sir”
As my friend,if you call my husband by his name wallahi I’ll first slap you and we’ll now fight (real fight o)and unfriend each other🤝
Nigba to ma sinwin
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Valerie owns very successful restaurants in lagos and Abuja, then one day Ola comes to meet her with a proposition.
He tells her that he has money to open and fund a restaurant but he doesn't have the brand name or social capital (popularity) to make it successful...+
Can someone explain how franchising works to me like I'm five years old?🤔
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Owo oluwa nbeeeeeee! lori aye miii ohhh!!!
If you’re employed at a nice company, pay is like N2m a month, car, house in a comfortable location in Abj, health allowance, etc
But on your first day, your boss tells you to always lead devotion for 1hr before you start… will you quit or continue?
(Don’t air me, thanks)
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She is a WOMAN!
Being called a man is not a compliment boss
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My favorite genre of men is absolutely downnn bad.
I love me an utterly finished man.
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I am begging you guys, if you know you are genetically predisposed to mental illness (AKA una get small craze for family).
Please stay far away from drugs, especially psychedelics. That high you enter, one day you may not come out of it.
Rehab is cost.
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If you’re not careful with the content you consume on here, you will unconsciously start to see yourself thinking in absolutes.
Once you start, happiness will be so hard to reach. You slowly stop extending grace to your loved ones because of internet people.
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Dear age 17-25 skinny/slim women. Please give yourself a break, relax on the weight gain plans, powders and smoothies. Second puberty is a thing.
If it still doesn't come, I promise you there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body and you are gorgeous
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Yam is one of God’s greatest creations.
Such a 10/10 food in every form.
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I can't believe my cat's favourite food is Okpa.
This cat has failed me
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Walk with me.
Bola is a trader, she sells bags and shoes.
She buys a bag from her supplier (Mama Joy) for 10k, then she waits for the festive period to sell the same bag for 15k.
Then one day she hears that very soon, the price of that bag will crash to 5k. What does she do?
Please, can any finance expert explain "short selling" to me like I'm 5. Every explanation I've read online doesn't cut it for me.
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“She slept her way to the top”, ehn baby boy do it too nau.
Off your trousers and sleep your way to the top too! The sky is your limit!
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Unrelated, but there is no difference between this and carrying someone's picture to shiloh
Normalise making prayer a lifestyle.🙏🏽
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness in high places.... Ephesians 6:12
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If you insult Solomon for the fact he's probably queer, instead of because he assaulted people. You are a very very stupid fool
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Use old people banks for your peace of mind.
Union Bank, Firstbank, Sterling, Stanbic IBTC.
They will not stress you
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@joyajulz
Well you have to considered that some of the ingredients used on “special occasion” were not native to those areas.
Say the tester is allergic to pineapple and never knew, and the chef makes a delicacy for the king with pineapples sent as a gift from a visiting country.
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Nobody :
Lagos government :
Omo see person pikin as she fine!!!
Some of you need to pay beauty tax!!
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Maria watching Angel from her house is premium content!
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I can't believe that I was begging someone to love me some months ago.
Fuck! I no get sense. JESUS!
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Something must exist before it can reduce
One of the best things I did for myself last year was not joining the Obidient movement! E for reduce my IQ by like 30!
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Why are you dating someone if you can't tell them you are broke😂?
Your babe coming to suggest outings etc while your account is fighting for it's life
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My hot take is that any woman interested in education should finish her first degree before getting married.
If you can, finish everything(including masters) before having children.
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If you are pro gun ownership in Nigeria.
You are actually insane, like the Yaba left kind
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I see Megan and Cardi decided to feature yoruba men in the video too 🤩
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I’m going through a lot🫠. I need something cute, romantic and cheesy to happen to me.
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“Summer this, summer that”, Alaye you are in Nigeria, it is rainy season please.
Don’t annoy me😭.
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Gift bag -400
Miniso scented candle -1500
Chocolates -500
Faux single rose -500
Small bottle of Ceres -700
Absolute lipgloss or hair ties -100
How you wan do romance or “thoughtful” things with 3750 for account ? 😭🤣
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Telling men to learn consent because they are leaving the country.
Man we are finished in this country.
So the women here don't deserve them learning the consent now?
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Let nobody lie to you, tech is not an easy way out of the trenches, you go sweat and cry tire.
Also the chances of getting that big dollar paying job as your first job is 1/10
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I dislike picking calls in periods where I’m overwhelmed, my energy is terribly low and I don’t know how to start explaining it.
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I truly pray that Asherkine finds happiness for as long as he lives.
The kind of happiness that comes easily.
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I promise you, anybody you meet this December is not the love of your life please.
Please go out this December so you can meet the loyl and stop shouting “God when me” on the timeline like a parrot everyday
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Man my parents really let me become an adult without learning survival skills😭
I can't swim, I can't drive, I can't ride a bike, I can barely use public transport, I no even get flight or fight😭
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Still makes me laugh😹
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Well everyone needs a pull-out reminder😹💔
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Habibi writes me morning messages and calls me by 8am every morning, he has done this consistently, ever since we started dating. He sends me period packages every month to help with the pain. He never fails to show me that he loves me
Sha still avoid yoruba men please🙏🏾
We’ve had enough stories of women dealing with bottom tier men. Let’s hear princess treatment stories only.
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Bring back the art of indulging people you love in silly things that they like.
If your partner asks you why you love them, list out why, make them feel good!
It is not taking anything from you, not a single hair from your existence.
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Man if you grew up in this country, I'm sorry but there is a very high chance that you did not turn out okay at all
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In the next 5 years, law enforcement would not have to do any serious work.
They could just come to social media and pick out criminals incriminating themselves
For example
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I see you and I raise you sex scenes in books
I know we say porn has given us unrealistic expectations of sex. But there's a worse culprit and that's sex scenes in movies.
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Since we are dragging fraudulent comedians.
Trevor Noah come out!, let us open your chapter today
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Oats go straight to your ass.
Whether it is oatmeal, oat porridge granola e.t.c.
Make it your best friend if you want to grow glutes
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I cannot stress how the job market is now basically nonexistent to the average Nigerian graduate.
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The problem is that you people enjoy friendship as a performance and not an actual relationship.
You just like the idea of friendship, but you don’t want to behave like a friend.
It is not by brunch and vacation alone.
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I really can't believe it's been a whole year now since they took you away. Losing you destroyed me and I'm still trying to fix it, you were honestly the perfect brother, friend and son.
Rest in perfect peace, Lieutenant Sino Malgwi.
I can never stop loving you❤️
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This is the best product I have gotten so far from aliexpress.
It is insane value for the price and the audio quality is amazing.
Fun fact, it was just $7
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Told my father I needed a small phone and I think he took it a little too literally 🤦🏾♀️😭
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I promise you, it is really really easy to know when someone doesn't rate you
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Have you guys considered that Chioma knows exactly what she is doing?
Seeing as she is a grown adult and all😹?.
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Women please, grabbing a guy's ass, groping his crotch, tweaking his nipples or touching his abs and arms without his consent is sexual harassment.
Please stop it, please abeg🙏🏾
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Unconditional love does not exist in any form, everything is transactional.
Know this and know peace
What’s a relationship opinion you have that will get you this reaction?
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I just educated a young woman on STD's, STI's and birth control while i was doing her nails, it was obvious no one had taught her these things before.
She thanked me so much and even asked for my number.
I feel so proud of myself right now, so proud.
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Lmaooo sis the vagina giveth and the vagina taketh away.
Do the needful 🙏🏾
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I really have a problem with people who think that their apologies are supposed to automatically fix everything wrong that they did
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Everyday it baffles me how I survived finding out about my brother’s murder from Sahara reporters on twitter before my parents even told me.
Just scrolling through the timeline and I saw Sino’s body in his uniform on the floor.
Heaven knows something died inside me that day
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I strict die, but my strictness is a by-product of all the shege I've seen and allowed in the past.
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Healthy living is cost please 😭 Why is fresh juice 1200 while Fanta is 200.
God plis
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30+ men will always be top tier... no stress 😌
Just a sprinkle of manipulation here and there, with a touch of receding hair line.
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Being a broke and infertile serial cheat is wild.
That is the kind of audacity only a man can possess.
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Keeping quiet over topics, then blocking and muting people that have exposed their foolishness >>>>>>
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😹 If you're worried your husband would be tempted because he sees your bridesmaid's breast at your wedding, sis I promise you the bridesmaid is not the problem.
If he doesn't see breast at your wedding, he will surely see breasts outside and on social media
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I'm such a "cry and fix it" person.
Finished crying about my laptop, carried knife and opened it up, realised that it was just a tiny issue, fixed it and saved myself Banex money
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Nigerian men are steady pro- life till the day when dem give person "accidental belle".
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😭I’m sorry but that woman’s apology is a typical Nigerian woman’s apology.
Let us not lie.
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