Jakom™🇰🇪
@_jakom
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Free Agent || I hate Advice, bad jokes & facts Maybe! 🤔|| For B/S hit My 📩.
Nairobi
Joined August 2023
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TBT:
Back in 2013 nilikuwa nikiona Wilson Sossion & team wameshikana mikono wakiimba najua tu that's an automatic holiday. A legend that one!
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BRO TO BRO:
The Best Financial Advice, I'll go first;
!!! NORMALIZE AVOIDING BROKE GIRLS WITH HIGH STANDARDS AT ALL COSTS!!!
AND you...?
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I bet No true Kenyan will pass this post without leaving a like ❤️ for our own Faith Kipyegon
~ Mary Moraa
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Osama Otero aside, we need to reward our hero shakira wafula. Let's give her her flowers. Let's reward our brave soldiers 💪
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@paulinenjoroge
You can go to hell with your so called "BABA"
"Cleaning the Anus thoroughly can't make it a mouth!" We know him better now than before 🚮
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Naona 1GB ya Airtel bado haijaisha, Wacha Niingie hapo Kwa Stepmom Kidogo. Nani Ako Na Link Aangushe hapa? Let's promote hawa Watu Wapate Za rent pia Wao. Kazi Ni Kazi.🌝
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Lakini Kama Mtu Ako Na Ukimwi Anafaa tu Kusema. Still tunaweza-Ongea Kama Watu Wakubwa, hatuwezi Kosana. Ama Mnasemaje Wangwana?
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I'm still wondering why the ARGUMENTS in movies end up in sex while mine always ends up in, "UNAJUA UNANIONA KAMA MATAKO YAKO!" Bwana tupatane Nairobi CBD, I blame Ruto!!! 🌝
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you must be sick if you still trust in Hanifa, Amerix, Morara, Mercy Tarus, Kasmuel McOure & other self proclaimed online digital wankers in the name of activists.
Wacha tu nibaki na picha za Bookten
@Bookten8
, at least hazinanga filters. Everyone is a whore...kiawah!!!
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Being in your 20's is very tricky;bwanaa you don't know whether you should start a small business, find love, become a parent, shift careers, find a Visa & move abroad or just sit right there & cry as you watch the cruel world take control of your life. It's pathetic mahn!!!
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Hiyo meme imekumaliza leo on the internet msee ame-i type amelala njaaa manzee!!!😢💔
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If your man tells you “take care” today after a “have a great day ahead” He simply means usidinywe ovyo-ovyo mamaa. Alamsiki wangwana?🌝
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@WilliamsRuto
Mzeeh I think you could use Mathare services right now, you're not thinking clearly! ADANI-JKIA DEAL? Uko na jokes mob sanaa
😂😂😂
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Rigathi Gachagua Is Not A Saint, but logically, the enemy Of Your enemy Is Your friend. If Only Riggy G Is Assured that Kenyans Are behind him, he Can destroy this government On Our behalf. Beginning With General Ogolla's death & Other bad things About President William Ruto!!!
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@RobertAlai
You always have a price and we've made peace with that.
But tell me how you'd control a net with no cables in Kenya. Never knew you're dum... like this.
Magi Onge! 🚮
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@omwambaKE
No one chooses to be what they are, circumstances do. I may blame her to some extent BUT to some extent NO. Maybe she's been through a lot & she's doing what she has to for survival
My opinion.
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yaani kugongewa ndyo mnaita “unavoidable circumstances” Bwana hii syllabus si mnapeleka mbio sanaa! 🤔
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Mkisikia anything to do with recruitment ya AL-SHABAAB mahali ama hizo ILLEGAL DEALS, KINDLY inform me, siwezi teseka hivi. I QUIT!!!😕
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BRO TO BROKE BRO:
Me; The world is cruel for poor men, just get the bag; be frugal in the process if need be, no one is coming to save you!!!
And you...?
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Mkisikia nime-simp mahali mnipige risasi alafu mseme nilikuwa mwizi hatari sanaa. We're fixing this country!💯
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@_falsi1ke
It keeps you out of unnecessary attention from broke women with high standards!!!
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@WilliamsRuto
EACC should be scraped off, they've failed to do what Morara has done in less than one month. We don't need such a clueless & incompetent institution 🚮
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@polo_kimanii
Bro let me tell you, this intel that you're having And also digging out is very important but you're also risking your life 🥲
So you need to take all possible precautions. We need your presence in this fight 🙏🏾
Najua kuna watu who are trying as much as they can to bury this
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Unaambia bibi ukweli ati hauna pesa anakasirika kukuliko. Kwani what do these people want?🤔
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It's only in Kenya where women call their husbands “mbwa” but hawakubali hiyo mbwa iume nyama zingine! 🤔
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OPEN DISCUSSION:
Wewe ukiambiwa uchague kati ya dem mrembo na gari aina ya Range Rover, wewe utachagua ya DIESEL ama ya PETROL? 🌝
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Being jobless hukuwa idle ajabu! just imagine kuamuka asubuhi kuangalia haga ya bibi za watu wakiendea maziwa ya breakfast from the balcony. Bwana dera sio nguo siet 😂🙌🏿
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Now that ODM is in the government, what's difficult with opening the servers?! 😕
Asking for a friend.
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school fees na rent zimeshikana this time round bwana. Ukiona msee anajiongelesha kwa jam just understand sio kupenda kwake, it's tough outside here!!! 😞
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@Honeyfarsafi
@AokoOtieno_
Trust your favorite "influenzas" at your own risk.
Amerix full stop 🛑
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In KENYA we call it Mwakenya. What about in TANZANIA?
I'm curious!!! 🤷🏾
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Usikulishe watoto wako shida juu ya ku-choose vitu za ujinga kama six packs, ndevu, nyash, sijui mara petite.
Wacha ufala!!🤷🏾
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@_falsi1ke
They overthink. According to them everything about women should meet their tastes!
My opinion.
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Leo nimejaribu fish & bread and let me tell you sio buree hao watu 5k yesu alilisha walibakisha hio chakula. Man jeso pia anajua hii mchezo ya taoni. No wonder he doesn't give you what you want, kumamaye! 😂
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@AokoOtieno_
I can't compromise missing firsthand information, wacha pastor ajiongelesha yeye, bibi yake na watoto, bring the paragraphs my dear, we got your back ❤️
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@WilliamsRuto
ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ATTENTION!
Now from the Files i've recieved,the Nobium we have in Mrima hill was actually underquoted to 100billion USD,According to the files jacob juma had the Nobium is worth 250Billion USD,na haijaanza kuchimbwa bado,The government of kenya is probably
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@AokoOtieno_
Uhuru Kenyatta might have his flaws, but we all miss that man, I wish the Murima people would have listened to him but wait!!! And vote for who? Raila Odinga?
Jumping from a frying pan into a hot soup
I don't know what much of a choice we have or had then. KENYA is a cruel
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Wewe unafikiria wahenga walikuwa jaba wakisema, "fimbo ya mbali haiui nyoka..." Unaamua tu kukuwa na A LONG-DISTANCE relationship. Poleni sana majamaa lakini INAGONGWA tu!!! 🌝
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Dem pale campus anachocha mabeste zake vyenye anaku-kula pesa kumbe umetenga kando budget ya umalaya!!
🤣🤣🤣
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Mwanaume Unapiga luku Madem Wote Wanafikiria Uko Na dem Unabaki Ukiteseka Na Arimis. Kuweni tu Kama Riggy G. Luku Wachia the gay dudes Alaaah!!😂
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@RailaOdinga
The moment you conclude that ODM is nothing but a company with shareholders you'll make peace with yourself.
Magi Onge!!!
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Ukiambiwa uchague kati ya dem mrembo na gari aina ya Range Rover, wewe utachagua ya diesel ama petrol? 🌝
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Niliwachanga kwenda church siku pastor alikataa hakuna kurudishiwa change ukitoa sadaka. Nikajua pia wao wako mboka kumamaye! 🤬
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What 'if' Raila Odinga is beaten in the AU Chairmanship bid? Will he take the L or he'll want Nusu mkate/handshake once again?
Asking for a friend!!! 🤔
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Asking for a friend?!
Ukiwa Comrade umetoka USHAGO, with absolutely 'NO:'
-Connections
-Rich parents
-Capital
.........
Ukimaliza CAMPUS (after graduation) what NEXT/what options do you have?!
Jokes aside, REAL answers ONLY!!!!!!!!
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@C_NyaKundiH
What's there to even testify when everyone knows who the culprits are? That's just another con game & we all know that!
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@polo_kimanii
Tuambie tufanye nini mkuu, that CONMAN must go together with his "HUSBAND" Ruto walai 😡
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KUGONGEWA ni lazima, that's a constant (k) i.e;
K = L/(M+S+P)
Where:
K = kugongewa
M = Money
S = Social status
P = Power
L = Love
As M, S & P decreases, kugongewa increases regardless of the value of L (love). Now you know! 🌝
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Hapo kwa fake relationship promises, difference yangu na Ruto ni ati yeye hu-promise akiwa juu ya V8. Niko na stalled projects kuliko manifesto ya both UDA & jubilee combined!!🌝
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Before I finally decide to Marry Someone's daughter, help Me Know What Women Offer In A relationship Other than Sex>>>
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@paulinenjoroge
Explaining what you do means you're doing nothing; actions speak louder than words but from where I sit or rather the last time I checked you were just doing what women do best to survive!!!
Like I said, "cleaning the anus thoroughly doesn't make it a mouth!" Spare us please!
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A guy k!lls over 40 women, chop them into pieces; then dump them in some quarry (Kware).
He's arrested under questionable circumstances? & days later, he makes a break-out from his detained police cell.
Several cops are arrested for aiding his "escape", but these cops are
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"My Uncle once told me to send my CV to his email BUT unfortunately I forgot to send it.
SURPRISINGLY, 2 weeks later, I met him & he boldly told me that he had FORWARDED it to some of his BIG FRIENDS."
—What is he trying to mean in simple terms guys?
Asking for a friend!😢
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Bado Uko Kwa WhatsApp group(s) Where Only Admin(s) Pekee Ndyo Wanaongea, And You're Busy Shouting Happy Mashujaa Day? Go get Your Freedom First. Kumbavu Zako! 🤔
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just to let you know, hiyo 10k will not build generational wealth. Nunua nyama choma ufurahie ukingojea kwenda sayuni! 😢
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some of us come from broken homes & neighborhoods filled with children's trauma & sad stories.
Our hustle isn't about impressing or outshining anyone, we just wanna break the chains of poverty & conquer the battles our parents never won. praise jesus!
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It's Only In Kenya Where people Open a Meeting With prayers, Lie throughout the Meeting, And then Again Close the Meeting With prayers. For Instance, Our Parliament! Praise Jesus?
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Ile dream yako ya kuoa mzungu bado iko ama nikuwache ulisha-pata mkisii?!
😂💔
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@C_NyaKundiH
What the fuck is wrong with this country? KENYA is irredeemable from it's problems, I've now made my conclusions!
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Siamini nilijifunza mpaka kuimba love songs ndyo nikue romantic na BADO nikaachwa. Kwani what do these MFS really want?!!! 🤬
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Nobody Cares About A Man Unless he's financially Stable Or they Need Something from him; Nobody Cares About Your WhereAbouts, feelings, & What You're battling With In life. Men We Are On Our Own! It's Only that We're Not ready for this Conversation. Pathetic!!!
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@RailaOdinga
Raila you are doing everything to save your fat a$$ interests!
Raila you can't stand as Kenyans unite on their own voluntion for a noble course without him being the face of the movement.
Raila is what is wrong with this country. Magi Onge Kiawah!!!!
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@polo_kimanii
I don't think All this is necessary bro, you guys should just stop these arguments, because clearly, they are unnecessary distructions!
My opinion.
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Mwanaume anarauka kutafta pesa mjengo, wewe unarauka kutafuta mwenye ako nazo, we'll never be the same folks!
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Riggy G: “I Was Supposed to be Killed through food Poisoning In Kisumu & Nyeri Attempts!”
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Unalala mpaka sahizi na mzazi amekulipia fee na pesa ya chama, wake up feilyaa !!!😂
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Hakuna kitu hubamba school drop-out kama kuona graduate akiteseka! 😂
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My father (old man) once said that, "There's a difference between enjoying your youth & destroying your future..."
I never understood what he meant until I MET women & KNEW alcohol; you can't go anywhere near success if you're into that.
Just like Samson & Delilah; they'll
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A man may be in your DM today & in the next day you find him in a hospital holding his newborn baby.
That's normal, it just shows that he's not happy in his present relationship. I've even seen politicians campaign to be president while still holding the office of vice
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Hii machozi ya vitunguu mtu huzoea with time ama nitakuwa nalia tu kila siku? Solution ni gani manzee? Nisaidieni hapo wakuu, mama watoto aliniwacha💔😠
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Choosing a GOOD mother for your children is far more important than choosing a BEAUTIFUL wife for yourself. DON'T let stupid things like petite, nyash & bla-bla-bla... Make you regret your whole damn life. Alamsiki wangwana!
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On this app you can't even afford to blink twice, yaani mshatoka kwa kugongewa mkaingia signing-in players?
Anyway, Consider signing players who are "less prone to injuries"!
Hii syllabus mnapeleka mbio sanaa but it's ok. Mad respect for football twitter! 🫡
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Bwanaa hakuna heartbreak Kali Kama Kutoka Mjengo Kila Siku Ukipatana Na thighs Za black Kwa Nyumba. Sikatai the Competition Is Stiff lakini Mtafute bibi Wazuri. Otherwise Wacha Nikule tu Samaki Na huyu Akinyi Wangu before Niomoke Nitafute bibi Mwingine Kumbavu Zangu!🤬
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If you're not keen you'll never see president Ruto coming!
Right now what he's doing is eliminating a threat, well the "COMRADES POWER"
Why call the students' leaders now? If their OPINIONS really counted they could have had their space at the table when the FUNDING MODEL &
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unachukua number ya dem usiku in the streets alafu mkipatana mchana inabidi umejifanya hujawahi muona ama unatoroka.
Hii ni mara ya saba & let me tell you Maina I've surrendered, sirudii tena hiyo mchezo 😂😂😂
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If She Rejects You, But Still Keeps On Sending Mixed Signals, Is That The Sort-Of Flirting Skills? Or She's Just Keeping You In The Plotline For Back Up; just In Case Things Don't Work Out With “Him”? Asking for A friend !!!🤷
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Kijanaaa mdogo akitafuta tu self employment kidogo hivi
@DCI_Kenya
washafika. Tutatoka block kweli wangwana?! 😢
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If your man tells you “take care” 'Mercy' after a “have a great day ahead”
he simply means usidinywe mamaa. Class are we together ama I've left you behind? 🌝🌝🌝
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Sasa kupika saa saba ya usiku kwa plot ni kitu ya kufanya majirani waache kuniongelesha?
Lmao! 😂
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Bado unalala mpaka sahizi na mzazi alipigia politician magoti apewe bursary ndyo usome?
Wake up feilyaa!!! 🤬
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Huwa Tunalia Economy Ni Hard Pamoja During Week Days But Ikifika Weekend, I See The Same Faces With Expensive Drinks In The Clubs. Frauds nyinyi!😥
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PREGNANCY SHOULD NEVER BE DELIVERED AS NEWS!
Before a woman GETS pregnant, she SHOULD be REASONABLE & MATURE enough to ask for "HIS" PERMISSION
It's wrong to have SEX for PLEASURE only for one to go behind EVERYONE'S BACK & get pregnant!
Oya MERCY?
Haujanifanyia poa Mama!🤷
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Bibi ya msee anakupea vizuri mpaka unaamua kufukuza bibi yako! Nawaombea pia blessings ziwa-locate wakuu 😂😂😂
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