Harper - forced recovery IP
@_harpsckal
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trying my best | 24 | pro recovery | meals/diary | coffee addict | BMI: 15
Libra bby
Joined February 2024
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Quick intro:
~Harper
~pro recovery
~20+
~things I love: coffee, floristry, painting/journaling, cozy gaming, antiques and oddities
~struggling but fighting
~minors DNI
~also looking for moots 🫶🏻
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My current safe food rotation lol, would you survive the harper diet? 🥲
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I can’t handle the guilt but if I can’t eat I will die
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Motivation to choose recovery before it’s too late:
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✨ wieiad ✨
As someone who chronically repeats meals & is terrified of gaining but still wants to be better 🫠
773cals
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Tell me this is nice and I haven’t wasted my money!! 🫣
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First time trying cinnamon with yogurt!
191cals
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I have unlocked a new lunch, I can’t tell you how yummy this is 🥹
317cals
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2 weeks ago I was chilling with the butterflies and bees 🌻
Literally the day after I was admitted lol
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I can’t take it, I’m having a banana. I guess this is me honouring hunger for the first tike and I’m fucking terrified 🫡
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✨ wieiad ✨
Unpictured is the copious amounts of iced americanos I had today 😅
744cals
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✨ wieiad ✨
Big fuck you ED day with the ice cream. I’ve been freezing all day despite the weather being beautiful, so couldn’t really taste the ice cream at all lmao
670cals
🩵
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Day 1 of following a meal plan 😵💫
I can’t believe this is the first time I’m trying omelette lmao
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✨ wieiad as IP ✨
Unable to finish my meals bc I get so full, but I’m trying to eat a little more each day as a challenge. Tomorrow I’ll actually order proper meals and find one that I can somewhat enjoy during my stay 🙃
Bed rest ain’t fun gang!
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Can you tell I managed to get control over my meals 🤭
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TW: health scares and complications to do with anorexia.
Yesterday was a wake up call for me, I went on a five minute walk outside and that’s all my body could take before long I got a bout of severe lower back pain and tremors followed by-
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✨ wieiad ✨
Wednesdays are always a difficult day with therapy and I struggle a lot more with guilt but didn’t allow myself to skip lunch and I also honoured a craving, I’ve had too many anxiety attacks over today so I’m tired but 2morrow will be better
864cals
2
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FINALLY got some hummus omg & first time trying falafel 🤩
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Choices 🥲..
Trying not to automatically go for a low cal one 😅
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✨ wieiad forced recovery ✨
Still restricting, I just can’t see myself fully recovered I’m fighting my mind and my parents constantly it just feels like a losing game atm and it’s making me not want to get better
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Tomorrow I’ll be officially inpatient, I’ll likely be there for the rest of the year and I’m trying to accept that. This is my last chance to actively recover I hope I have the strength to do it as this is hell already
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✨ wieiad ✨
Had a weetabix biscuit with a dash of almond milk warmed up with my yogurt and it tasted AMAZING, will definitely have that again 🥹
873 cals
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This is gourmet compared to yesterdays tragic lunch, this whole meal is a huge fear of mine but it was either this or omelette again and ain’t no way
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Has anyone tried this bar, is it worth the calories? bc they feel absurd 😭
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Cauliflower rice bowl with smoked salmon, chickpeas & salads!
Just ignore how sad the egg looks 🙃
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Don’t let hospitalisation stop you from dressing cute!
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Nice n chewy, the white choc mixed with the subtle blueberry taste is nice, very filling too
7-5/10
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FINALLY had this! So good omg. Chewy so you take your time eating, literally an Oreo in a bar 🤩
8.5/10
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✨ wieiad as IP ✨
Allowed small meals today, the normal portions are too overwhelming atm & I feel even more guilty when I waste food. Still stuck in temp ward and waiting to move into the official IP unit 🫠
Today has been a better day, still exhausting but better :))
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Omggg so soft, with a little crunch from the choc chips. The salt is not overwhelming and dipped in coffee really makes it!
9/10
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✨ wieiad ✨
Delish stuff 🤩
Tomororw I have to eat out with fam at a carvery and that’s a huge fear of mine so feeling a bit shit atm🫠
655cals
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Iced coffee and soup is the ultimate comfort meal 😌
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✨ wieiad ✨
Sorry it’s all so samey, the thought of eating anything has been too daunting lately to be creative with my meals
1,060cals
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Breakfast repeater 🫡
I get so excited over my silly little yogurt bowls 🫠
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Couscous salad tonight with some cottage cheese :))
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Cottage cheese & jam toast for lunch big ff using white bread
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This is so much 🫠
I’m tired of breaking down over every meal lol
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✨ wieiad - inpatient meal plan style ✨
Never have I had such boring spreads lol, can’t wait to see how unhinged these become 🥲
It’s exhausting all I’ve done is cry and have panic attacks, scary times and too much FF, I just wish I had actively recovered sooner.
Est: 805cals
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Tried this baddie 😌
Definitely taste the biscoff! Soft and slightly nutty too, melts really nicely with coffee
8/10
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A poached egg for lunch
How’s your afternoon?
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Vanilla flavour is yummy tbf, tomorrow I’ll be having 3 per day 😵💫
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✨ wieiad ✨
Today has been hard being on bed rest as well with guilt and anxiety over anything to do with eating and the state my body is in now..
Forced myself to have an evening snack though so that’s my win for the day :))
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✨ wieiad ✨
I’m pretty tired today, it’s getting harder and harder to eat food again & it still takes me almost an hour to eat my meals :/
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✨ wieiad ✨
Work was lovely, but the parents have been screaming and threatening me about my eating habits, they have no idea that I do therapy every week and have checks but I think I’ll end up being forced into recovery otherwise, idk how to tell them lmao
829cals
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✨ wieiad ✨
Idk if it counts as lunch, but hey I ate something.
742cals
🩵
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Is it bad to have more than 1 protein bar in a day, like genuinely?
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I have so many bars to choose from name one and I’ll likely have one, idk which to take with me 🫨
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Victoria sponge with buttercream icing & blueberry jam filling 😌
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Vegan chicken salad for dinner, I wish you could smell this through the screen it’s DELISH 🥹
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✨ wieiad ✨
Idk I’m struggling so much with overwhelming guilt over sweet foods and not savoury, I’m trying to allow myself to have a treat but it’s hard lol
But today was really nice, the sun was SO needed 🥹
920cals
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So I have an update, this is all so much for me and I’m at the point where I have no choice but to be tubed because eating alone is not enough to heal my heart.
Please, if you are able to, allow yourself the help you deserve you are so worthy.
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Things will be changing this week and it’s terrifying, tomorrow is the start of a new journey for me and I’m going to fight my absolute hardest against my brain to try to repair my body.
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✨ wieiad ✨
Today has been awful mentally, but the colours have made it easier. I was able to get out the house and grab some things and felt a little better.
Checkup & ecg 2morrow wish me luck lmao
647cals
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Sad little breakfast, gotta try and avoid getting hospitalised 🫠
First time ever trying a crumpet too
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Help Idk which one to try tonight.
I swear it takes me 20mins just to decide on a bar 🙃
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✨ wieiad ✨
Feeling overwhelming guilty bc I had more ice cream than I planned but I needed it bc I felt lightheaded from the heat..
733cals
🩵
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Very subtle hazelnut flavour but I don’t mind it, not too chewy either. It’s nice esp since it’s vegan & gluten free!
7/10
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✨ wieiad ✨
I skipped breakfast bc I woke up late, I shouldn’t have done that bc of the threat it has on my body. But I allowed myself 2 snacks today, it’s been a hard week with a lot of stress. I hope you’ve all had a good week 🙏
705cals
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I am easily influenced :)
I’m excited to try these soon 😁
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✨ wiead ✨
A good day today, felt a little weak and very short of breath while shopping but it’s been a lovely day 🫶🏻
I hope yours has been too!
1,003cals
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Smoked salmon & egg toastie with rice salad for dinner :))
368cals
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✨ wieiad ✨
Forced to up my intake and feeling sick to my stomach, my favourite cousin came up to me and was the first reasonable person to really listen and hear me today after this harrowing time away lol
978cals
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Feels like a new low lmao
It actually tastes really nice tho! I used to love red velvet cookies so this was nice :)
8/10
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