ivy anastasia (post-coma relapse, idk)
@_diamond_skies
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edtwt| 29 | bi | an-b/p| lost 49lbs then purged myself into a coma// lw:88(2021), 123(2024) //cw: too scared to know /// minors & (homo/fat/trans)phobes DNI
london
Joined August 2023
Guys I am so sorry. In July I purged, tore my oesophagus, and went into cardiac arrest. From there I got sepsis and was in an induced coma for a few months while my body could heal. I am so sorry to anyone and everyone who worried about me, I am ok and up&about -.
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every time someone on here acts like BMI is a gospel or asks “what BMI is [x]” I’m going to show them these
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I just got a letter from the ED clinic, and it says “impression - anorexia” . what do they mean impression?? is this a diagnosis ?? what does impression mean???
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‼️FATSPO THREAD OF MY. DAUGHTER ‼️ for edtwt ONLY.
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when I lost my virginity at a house party when I was 17 and later overheard the boy get given cash by his friends because they’d dared him to “fuck the fat girl”.
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“I’m getting, like … anorexia vibes”.
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like omg you get wet food twice a day and you still go out and hunt mice all day??
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MY SISTER HAS TURNED UP TO THE WEDDING WEARING WHITE PAHAHAHAHA.
emotional support thigh gap check before I see my sister (huuuuge bully who actively tries to hurt me) for the first time in 3 years
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also sorry but if you have 600 calories left and all you get is three tiny tacos and some tortilla chips. you have not been clever about it. like 600 cals can easily be a filling meal of you choose less calorie-dense stuff.
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my fellow edtwt elders: maybe this is me being extremely stupid but recently I’ve fb’d a couple of people who have their age as “21🔁” or “31🔁” and I didn’t think much of it but I found out today it means the numbers are flipped ie they’re 12/13, they’re minors, and I feel awful.
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look at u snoozin. u don’t even have a gym membership
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hello! I’m breaking my no-minors rule bc this is a really toxic idea. Anorexia will never let you say “yes I restricted enough today :) I worked out enough today :)”. It makes you think you can do more, so you are always “locking in” tomorrow bc today can never be good enough.
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okay so I would never be mean about anyone’s ED or how it is enacted, it’s always a struggle, but I just saw a girl describe an OMAD that she split into three portions across the whole day … girl those are meals.
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u think just cos u have the prettiest face in the whole world ever u get away with it ??? well… maybe
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I LOVE when teenagers try to tell me what edtwt “used to be like”. cos i was there! Yes, in 2012, when you were in nappies, I was on edtwt. In 2008 I was on edblr. So how are you going to tell me what it was like? I was literally there lmao. And you were in nappies.
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anyway fatphobia is lame, my cat is the cutest, mic dropped xoxo.
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any other “elders” of edtwt starting to realise that teens are so nasty about “being 25+ on edtwt” bc it’s scaring them that this doesn’t go away w age? potentially I’m late to the party, but the absolute vitriol they come at u with has to have a deeper root than “being a teen”.
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pepper how does fatphobia make you feel? oh … are you mad?
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okay so there’s a woman who’s barefoot on the tube (horrid) but also she’s put tights on OVER her socks and honestly I think that might be worse?
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Cassie (Skins Gen2) is some edtwt icon but I’ve always thought she’s the most inaccurate representation of ana… I can’t IMAGINE explaining how i skip meals to a boy i fancy over school lunch. “I didn’t eat for 3 days so I could be lovely” it’s a famously secretive disease ????.
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anyway cover your eyes if you’re sick of fatphobia!!!!!
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sorry wtf why am I suddenly jacked this is the opposite of what I want
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@creetcha protein takes 1/3 of its calories to metabolise itself. so if you eat 300cals of protein, 100 of those will be used by your stomach/intestines in the digestion process. So, you’re left with 200.
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so I’m not usually someone who cares about steps but this seems off? 15 cals for 10,000 steps? like surely people on edtwt aren’t obsessed with 10,000 steps if it only burns 15 cals ??????
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(The thing that made me realise this was when I saw someone with “51🔁” in their bio complaining about their mum making them do chores and I was like …).
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TO EVERYONE SAYING I ABUSE MY CAT:. * she’s overweight bc she got spayed too early by her previous owner .* she has the exact same diet as our skinny cat (2 meals/day, no treats).* tabbies are naturally predisposed to being a bit chunky.* the vet has no concerns about her health.
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on what planet is a cup of tea 123 calories ???.
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for anyone who reads this and is worried they’re not valid/they need to lower their intake
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@n0thvngry it’s so annoying how they act like BMI is in any way reliable or sensible. it’s based on (1) a study from the 1800s that tried to “categorise differences between the races” and (2) a study of ONLY Scottish and French white men. there’s a reason medical professionals don’t use it.
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no hate to OP bc she’s a literal child, but I will add that I used to be an incredible portrait painter. I could work magic in oils. I’m only boasting about it bc a decade+ of Ana has led to arthritis, osteoporosis, and muscle diminution, so I can barely hold a paintbrush now.
NO. 4.⭐ - get hobbies, invest in something you enjoy like drawing, crochet, gaming, instruments, etc. I can play games or crochet and the hours fly by and I've forgotten to eat.
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lent a moot on edtwt £20/US$30 (I am v fortunate to be in a position where I can do this, but it was v much on the agreement she’ll pay me back) and she’s blocked me. not gonna name and shame cos I know we’re all going through shit but like … come on.
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@angelicfemme444 When I was a teenager I thought the cals for a bowl of cereal was for a literal bowl, not a weight in grams. So I would fill up the biggest bowl my parents had and cram it full and be like “:) yay one bowl of cereal 180 cals :)” when in reality it was 3x portions at LEAST.
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also 123.4lbs is an extremely satisfying number.
I JUST DROPPED 4LBS OVERNIGHT. IM IN THE 8-STONE-SOMETHING RANGE
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you know what fuck this ED. I’ve wanted this for years, I worked so hard on this application and my credentials, im gonna have drinks and eat what I want with my friends to celebrate cos this is a massive fucking achievement (I will regret this tomorrow).
I GOT INTO MY DREAM MASTERS OH MY FUCKING GOD.
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I know I’m one Diet Coke away from being back there, but out of 140s jail /ten stone jail omg ?!?!
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all of this Cajun chicken pasta for 600 cals - volume eating my beloved
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my friend took this photo of me and ngl im obsessed with it
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@xnikotyna_waifx alcohol calories are metabolised differently because it’s a literal poison, so your body forces it out of your system ASAP. as opposed to eg a slice of bread, where your body takes it’s time and gets as much energy and nutrients as it can out of the bread.
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any other waiters/waitresses/serving staff of edtwt feel like a shift kinda counts as a workout?? like I am on my feet for 8 hours, I am running around carrying stuff … it’s so hard.
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proof (hiding her face and tattoos obvs)
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I WON MY FIRST EVER LAW CASE AAAAHHHHH.
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obvs I can never turn this ED off, but airports are such liminal spaces I kinda feel like I can eat what I want in them. where are all these people going? isn’t air travel a marvel? aren’t we so lucky to live in a time where we can explore the entire globe? might get a burger.
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@VegRecovery like everyone can do 200 cals/day for a week. but im 12 years into this diagnosis - do they actually think people do these low res diets for a sustainable time? there’s a reason the serious anas do 1200-1500. it’s literal science.
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I’m so so sorry for disappearing, I only woke up in October and I’ve been so supervised since then. I am now back with my phone and I truly want to apologise to anyone who I stressed out with my disappearance.
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@b1tchy_blond when things are only patterned/decorated on the front and the back is just plain. like … people are going to see me from behind.
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@verycoolandneat I was diagnosed and hospitalised with bulimia at 9, after being taught how to purge food by a great aunt when I was 8. This event caused my restrictive ED (ie anorexia), but I have had an ED for most of my life. It makes sense for me to find a community. Thanks for your comment.
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But I gained so so so much weight - I genuinely have no idea how much bc I’m too scared to weigh myself - but I am finally out of hospital and I can restrict again.
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💕💫 if you’re on edtwt and your birth year begins with a 1, please can you like/rt this?? I need more moots around my age please 💫💕.
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@knightscals literally - and probably barely any of that was actual weight gain I bet. I’m wearing the same clothes as I did when I was 95-100lbs, even though I’m 123lbs, because I am doing weightlifting and exercise so obvs I have muscle mass now, whereas before i never exercised.
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@borderexia I opened my a-level results, saw DDC in the final modules, realised I’d nearly thrown away my dream uni (luckily I’d got straight A*s previously so my final grades averaged out to the AAA I needed) & decided to stop restricting that day. sometimes you need a kick up the ass.
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@birdybones13 you were seeing red then you saw the cutest cat ever! a good exchange I think.
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@intoxicantation but it’s an ED clinic, why are they giving vibe checks instead of diagnoses.
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@hypogirlcemia but this was after a meeting with a psychiatrist at an ED clinic - I don’t understand why she couldn’t just diagnose me, idk who else can.
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either I’m hallucinating or there are bubbles ??? In a random main road in the middle of London ??? they’ve been happening for like 5 minutes ??
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heyyy so this blew up and I can’t reply to everyone and I appreciate that most people are being lovely, . but I just wanted to say that responses like “I would kill myself if this happened to me” aren’t actually making me feel very good, even if they’re meant with love/support.
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the thread about my fat cat was meant to be a joke and I didn’t expect it to blow up. but I am receiving DMs that Im an abuser, I should km$, she should be taken off me. it was meant to be a funny thread of my cute cat and I’ve faced so much hatred over it, I can’t stop crying.
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the first pic came up in my phone memories and … facial weightloss go brr (last September vs last Saturday, -42lbs)
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@pettyelfdiary also, my sister has a heavy weed dependence to the point where my mum has quit her job to care for her 24/7 bc she can’t leave bed. im so sick of weed being seen as harmless. as with any drug, there are dangers.
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@nauticalorie my friend went on ozempic she got off the internet and lost 20lbs in 2 months, but as soon as she came off it she gained 35 back, soooo … I don’t recommend.
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@hiswoodengirl also at 16 you may not have a say in where you go for food. your parents may say “we’re going to McDonald’s” and depending on your family dynamic you may not be able to refuse. you’re still a child.
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um my best friend is visiting me and I just found out he swallows his toothpaste after brushing his teeth. instead of spitting it into a sink and rinsing. he says this means he can brush his teeth without leaving bed (which is true) but I think its insane???? its insane right???.
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@n0thvngry omg I’ve had this happen a few times, there’s a few seconds between when you see a body and when you realise it’s yours. it’s insane how once you realise it’s yours, the body expands in front of your eyes.
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@Sourstarves4fun i swear to god I have to quotetweet this every fucking day. I actually got dx’d for a fourth time in my life last week, and yet again they didn’t ask or care how many calories I ate, so consider the below updated.
for anyone who reads this and is worried they’re not valid/they need to lower their intake
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no matter what, I have beef with anyone on edtwt who sees an “x cals don’t count” or “x is my safe food” tweet and publicly disagrees with it/points out the cals in the safe food/etc. like why are you trying to make someone with an ED feel worse than they already do?.
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I’ve got various dms/qts re my recent Ana dx despite being BMI 19/20. I have titanium in my spine, jaw, left shoulder & left arm bc of a car crash as a kid. These weigh more than human bone so drs have adjusted my BMI accordingly. Can ppl drop it now? Its not a fun memory for me.
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ok i also started getting really bad stabbing chest pains so I told my flatmate and she’s called an ambulance, I can’t even stand up anymore. will let u guys know when I’m out of hospital and feeling better xx.
I just purged and there was blood and this weird grey/white mucas I haven’t seen before? And now i can’t stop coughing up blood, I’ve been throwing up, I can’t stop shaking I’m so cold I’m confused & my whole insides feel like they’re tangled and knotted ??.
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I lost my place on my dream Masters Degree programme (extremely fair, I was in a coma for half the first semester) - and yet i woke up and I’m excited to restrict again. What can this disease NOT ruin?.
Guys I am so sorry. In July I purged, tore my oesophagus, and went into cardiac arrest. From there I got sepsis and was in an induced coma for a few months while my body could heal. I am so sorry to anyone and everyone who worried about me, I am ok and up&about -.
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I have always found it insane how American licenses just casually say your weight on them.
My biggest competition will always be the weight on my license from when I was 18
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no hate to OP, obvs, she’s 15 so please don’t come down hard. but I think saying that people aren’t anorexic if they aren’t satisfied with their restriction/exercise etc is dangerous, bc the whole point of anorexia is that it’s insatiable.
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I don’t wanna be mean but a moot has been constantly so negative Ive unfollowed. Like its constant complaints/negativity/hatred/anger. Am I a dick for that? . Obvs we’re all suffering, but the constant complaining was too much. seeking pleasure in your existence is so important.
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I FUCKIN DID IT
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THIS. most people get horrid intrusive ED thoughts of “omg she’s so fat”. u need to separate urself from those thoughts & fight them. that’s the ED talking, it’s fatphobic by nature. u can’t let it take over. an ED is not a free pass to be fatphobic, you’re a conscious adult.
can y'all stop body shaming others and using your eating disorder as an excuse as to why you do it? like fuck off, your ED should only make you critical of yourself not other people. you're just a bitch at this point.
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I was away from edtwt for like six months (purging-induced coma and then a month of attempted forced recovery/heavy medical supervision) soooo…. 🩵🧊🐋❄️LOOKING FOR MORE MOOTS ❄️🐋🧊🩵. if your birth year begins with a 1, interact with this post to be moots!!.
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@keylemon literally all bodies are so different. muscle mass, bone structure, hormones, water retention, visceral vs subcutaneous fat, etc … literally a hundred factors affect how we look. the idea that all human bodies can be categorised by a simple “height x weight” formula is insane.
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@AntiqueSiren 🤷♀️ you gotta lure the fatphobes in somehow, they’re easily baited (and she is my daughter).
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emotional support thigh gap check before I see my sister (huuuuge bully who actively tries to hurt me) for the first time in 3 years
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IM MOVING TO COPENHAGEN.
I GOT INTO MY DREAM MASTERS OH MY FUCKING GOD.
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@toji_babe a boy once bullied me horrendously from age 11-16 (setting my stuff on fire, cutting my hair etc) when I was overweight. I changed schools bc of him from 16-18, lost 140lbs, and then went to a party he was also at … he didn’t remember me & asked me out.
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A breast reduction was absolutely the best thing I ever did, and I will die on this hill.
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@ideas_misc hi, unfortunately not cap - although I wish it was, because maybe then I wouldn’t still be struggling with an eating disorder 11 years later. hope you have a good day.
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calling other people fat doesn’t make you skinnier, just fyi.
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I told my therapist that one thing I hate about this ED is the amount of food I end up wasting, and she responded “well you’re also wasting your life” and ngl she gagged me a little.
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I spent ages plating up my ramen in a fancy way because the guy I fancy is a chef and currently on holiday in Japan, so I want to send him a photo
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edtwt, we’re going to Italy lol
my aunt is having a huge birthday celebration for two weeks in Italy atm, my whole fam is there. originally I said no bc I wanted to stay in London and restrict, but now part of me is thinking I should go? and if I gain weight it will be worth it for the memories? but I’m scared.
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this post now has 800+ likes so I feel like people will enjoy if I add:. this girl turned up to our grandma’s funeral in trackies and a crop top. neither of them were black.
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im on edtwt because an ED has dominated my life for literally two decades and I can’t talk openly to people about it in “real life” but I need to vent. I’m not here to have my ED encouraged. My brain does that for me, that’s the whole problem.
IS THIS NOT THE REASON WE’RE ALL ON EDTWT? 💀.
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this is so embarrassing i can’t tell irls (im even embarrassed to say on here), but i haven’t drunk any alcohol for two days now. the last time i did that was maybe a year ago. im really proud and hoping i can keep it up.
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@imalivecorpse honestly you’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head - I was kinda relieved because I was like DO YOU ALL SEE NOW HOW AWFUL SHE IS???.
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I haven’t eaten all day because of work so I get to have my favourite dinner (BEANS AND CHEESE ON TOAST YES I AM BRITISH) cos normally it’s too high cal for my twomad split but aaaaah this was so good
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@tunacycIe which is fine! I personally don’t believe in OMAD but if that’s how you wanna do this then cool! I’m a big believer in 2-3 meals a day to lose weight, but I wouldn’t call that an OMAD … babe it’s in the name.
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@slowlyshrinkng literally like what anorexic is in her school cafeteria like “hey I’m anorexic :) this is how I skip meals :)” ?? not to mention the fact that she has zero negative side effects and maintains friends/boyfriends and is popular.
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me before stepping on the scale: “you’re going to have gained a bit but that’s ok, you haven’t pooped in 4 days and you’re on your false-period, it’s definitely not real weight”. me after seeing a gain two seconds later:
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@hiswoodengirl idk if you have cats, but if you do egg yolks are super good for them! It helps their digestion and overall health, and makes their coat super shiny! (Only when cooked alone, like scrambled eggs are bad but because of the butter/oil! but this looks like it was hardboiled?).
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