Chris
@_chrisalbert
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LINGORM PANTENE TRIP
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Bruno Mars
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#ROSÉ_BRUNO_APT
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Al Smith
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APT OUT NOW
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Corinthians
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Saints
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Yankees
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#Happy20thFOTFOT
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Schumer
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CONGRATS CL IG1M400K
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Broncos
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Cleveland
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Allan
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#NuNewJapanDebut
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対象作品
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San Marcos
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Patrick New Single
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NUNEW DEBUT IN JAPAN
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超電ブレイカー
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集英社秋マンガチャ開催
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Dennis Allen
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Kamara
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フラワー
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Forced my guy to book a therapy session after his breakup. He swore he was okay. Picked him up after the session because I was proud of him. The ride was quiet for the most part. When were almost at his crib, he held my hand and said, “Bro, anka girl noo ku me…”
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I was at this wedding reception yesterday when one guy went into one of those 360 spinning photobooths, did an extremely violent gbese and kicked the camera. He owes the booth owner money now
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I was at bloom yesterday when they brought a bill to the table next to me. Next thing I heard from that side was, “HEY, WHO TOOK HENNESSY!” E over them.
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Ordered food that got delivered about 15 minutes ago when I was in meeting. Got out, realised it didn’t have my drink in it and called the delivery guy. Dude was quiet for a few seconds and said, “Boss, I want to be honest wiv you. I drank it.” Ah?
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Goat with freckles. He sold you a kidi
Hope it’s not Leopard this butcher sold to me? 😭😭😭😭
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You watch Suits and think being a lawyer is all glam and tailored suits. Then you get called to the Ghanaian bar and before you realise, Aunty Rose is trying to pay you with yam.
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A policeman I said ‘morro’ to yesterday caught me up at the same barrier and said “ahaa morro no nie”
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My boys took me to Club Onyx to celebrate. Stepped out to make a call at the car park and a random dog started chasing me and didn’t stop till we got to Christ the King. Ah chale
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I used to think I could never give up bread. My fitness trainer couldn’t get me to stop. Jesus couldn’t. You, my guy, have done the impossible. Thank you
@NAkufoAddo
.
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Driving through Makola is crazy. I hit a guy a guy who just crossed the road out of nowhere. I thought he was hurt but he just relaxed on the bonnet and said he’d got off at the next junction
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Heard on radio someone donated 20,000 face shields (that people did not buy, obviously) to a hospital. When asked why he’d made the donation, he started crying apparently, and said, ‘ɛnnyɛ bibiara enti o, papa yɛ na ɛyɛ me dɛ.’
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Employers won’t let 2 cedis pass with your salary 🙏🏾
Ghanaians won’t even let 2 minutes pass when it’s 5pm
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Driving in Accra is a free anger management course because these trotro drivers WILL TEST you
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Thing with covid is, you can’t even let your guard down just because you’re meeting one person you “trust”. That’s how I got it. Whoever you meet is the sum of whoever they’ve met
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When he checked the national coffers this morning.
It is now time to revive and intensify the discussions about reparations for Africa. Indeed, the time is long overdue.
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Nana Addo moving to that ‘ah, who dey owe me?’ territory. Times are hard.
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I just heard that somebody was caught stealing at Teshie. While people were swarming around him, a macho man showed up from nowhere, screamed ‘this no be Woors3!’ and gave him a dirty slap.
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Not the coronation he was expecting 😔
BREAKING: Prince Charles tests positive for coronavirus
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I just put off my lights, tried to jump on my bed and missed. E really over me
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In 2011, I remember us going to church 3 times in one day. During the third mass, somebody screamed “no be me kill Jesus” and fainted at the back
Easter in a Catholic home be crazy cuz you fit go Mass like 10 times.
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You hustle through the week, quietly taking on all life’s challenges…then when you gather a bottle or two on a Saturday, someone walks up to your table and says ‘you always dey chill.’
They always want to talk about the champagne but never the champ’s pain smh
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Accra being small wouldn’t even be a problem if y’all didn’t talk so DAMN much
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Similar thing happened to me. Whole time I was just staring at him with 5 cedis in my right hand
Dzorwulu traffic police stops me. Greets nicely and proceeds with a safety tip. “Always anticipate a car in a curve. Don’t overtake on a bend; don’t assume there’s no car coming. Slowly drive in a pot-hole than swerve it on top speed” 🤝 I can’t believe this
@GhPoliceService
😅
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Ngl he post the dashboard one time then I figure say e be washing machine
Olele say ein then car be indigenous car like ebi Kantanka ein helicopter ship cars some🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Gerald sent a bottle back and apparently he was met with a puzzled look and ‘ah abrantie w’agyimi kakra anaa?’
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They laid a nice route – the legon bypass – to join the haatso-atomic road and left out the last 100 meters to remind everyone that life can never get too comfortable in this Ghana place
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Saw a video of Ibrahim Mahama playing golf. When he hit the ball, someone screamed, ‘Wow you’re the best. Wonders will never end.’ Then the rest of the guys started clapping. Wasn’t even a great shot. Lmaooo
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Obstinate. Unyielding. Bullheaded. History will not be kind to this man.
#FreetheCitizens
#StopGalamseyNow
🚨ICYMI🇬🇭✊🏾🗣️: President
@NAkufoAddo
has finally commented on the recent protests against galamsey and the arrest of anti-galamsey activists during an interview with
@FRANCE24
.
“I'm not responsible for jailing people in Ghana. The courts in Ghana are independent institutions,
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Bad bitch, you fit bed wake up 3am then she dey suck your breast. You fit shock scream, “Herh Adwoa, wonnda?!”
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Niggas who do so much for the camera before a race start only to be last man.
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My boy said he tried to have make up sex with his girl after he was caught cheating. She suggested S&M, tied him up and beat him like a goat
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You’re better off just telling your girl what you want for your birthday. One of my guys slack make ihn girl buy polo shirt with about 9 horses. We call him Red Dead Redemption to this day
#DNBP
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With his story, I just know his personal essay must’ve been spellbinding. He definitely had admission officers at the edge of their seats.
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One of the family members walked up to me and said, ‘cousin Kwame…?’. I couldn’t even speak. I just nodded and hugged her
Wandered into some stranger's funeral the next day and cried my heart out. It was the only place no one would ask why I was crying.
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It’s how they always name their investments and dodgy money-making schemes in twi. Asaase, Nsuomonam, Agyapa.
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This isn’t even dissing. It’s the equivalent of your dad pushing down his glasses and telling you in a nice way you’re one of his stupid sons
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Emkpanlada 😭
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Access to what information? We can’t even get access to the Frontiers Healthcare Services Limited contract
#OccupyJulorbiHouse
Ghana joins the world in celebrating the International Day of Universal Access to Information in Oxford, UK
#AccessToInfoDay
#SDG16
.10
@konkrumah
@rticghana
@UnescoGhana
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Ghana would be in much better shape if people faced the consequences of their actions.
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Two people hit it off at my house party in 2019 and got married yesterday. That’s just so beautiful
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Someone thought they could eat somebody else’s work lunch and get away with it. Whole time there’s a camera in the kitchenette 💀
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Suit guy make mistake enter restroom on one of his dates, the way this guy go drop the camera break am.
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Fancy Gadam almost whistled when he was giving his speech. Gap tooth is a bitch
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I really thought Bawumia’s presidential candidacy was going to be laughed to scorn based on what we’re going through. The fact that he has massive support even blows my mind.
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So I was stopped by an MTTU officer for running a red light. This dude sat in my passenger seat and had the audacity to tell me, ‘bra offender, sɔ wo a/c no kakra na wiemu ayɛ hye.’
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Someone pocketed north of $25,000,000 off one contract. 25 MILLION DOLLARS! How are we going to make it if we don’t plug these leaks?
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So this man begged to be president for years, just to turn our country into a debt-bloated monstrosity?
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I used to think Nigerians were exaggerating till I went to Nigeria. I get it
As corrupt as Ghanaians think Ghana is, and as much as they complain about their taxes, they still pay them.
Because Ghana - while by no means a wonderful country - is at least a functional one.
The basic things actually work, and taxpayers see some value for their money.
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Kirk Franklin's the gospel DJ Khaled. He gets other people to do all the singing and just drops ad libs like "yesh Lord" and "holy schpirid"
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We were both in school at Holborn on a Friday talking about how we’d give anything to eat omotuo that weekend. She sent me a snap of herself eating omotuo in Ghana that Sunday. She was back in London and in class on Monday.
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#GameChangers
issue of the
#EMYAfricaMagazine
featuring
@StephenAppiah
and Azumah Nelson is out now! Special thanks to contributing editor
@theyawofosu
, sub-editor
@____akos
, and contributors –
@FCTamakloe
,
@Fentuo_
,
@AtsuTamakloe
,
@YawMintYM
.
Photo by
@gilbertasante
.
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Nowadays when police stop me, I just move my head a little so they see the wig and gown in the back. Then it’s brief silence…
Them: ‘Ei counsel!’
Me: ‘Ei aban!’
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At the gym today, I was getting some reps in on the rear-delt machine when a macho man came over to ask if I was finishing soon. When I said no, this guy inched closer and tickled me. Ah?
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People who don’t know how to mind their business in a gym really piss me off. I dey squat ridee some macho man come hold my ass dey scream, “clench your ass cheeks, clench them!” My evening all spoil
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😂😂 Ah women don’t know we usually know everything there is to know about them before we move to them?
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Loved working on this issue! The
@EMYAfrica
Generation Now Issue, available on 26/11/23.
@kuukssss
@blacksherif_
@KudusMohammedGH
@tobibakre
@EkowBarnes
@KwadzoCDA
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Nobody who pronounces ‘money’ as ‘morneh’ gives a fuck about integrity.
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No one survives in an environment that isn’t enabling. There’s no ‘cracking’ here.
Anyone who can crack the e-commerce code in Ghana will be a millionaire
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I feel bad for people like you. You spend your whole lives trying to please those in power, thinking they’ll throw you a scrap. But that’s all you’ll ever get—a meaningless crumb. To them that’s all your life is worth.
Let's have an honest and holistic conversation with
#StopGalamseyNow
. Let ask the critical questions. Elaborate on workable short to medium term solutions.
Truth is we can't hashtag our way out of a canker. We can't apply failed solutions.
We need solutions that bite!
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A few months ago, I was appointed editor of the
@emyafrica
magazine. Had to quickly put together a team and publish my first issue. So here it is. Special thanks to all who advised and contributed:
@afadjato
,
@theyawofosu
,
@Maayaa_O
,
@IdrysMb
,
@edudzi_
,
@niilexis
. We did it!
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Great day to call debtors
The people them no like pick calls from strange numbers go pick today
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Making plans with money you’re expecting and not getting it is top three most annoying let-downs.
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I’m down for documenting this movement. An hour of videos, accounts and people articulating why we’re protesting. I’m willing to help with scripting and creative directing
#DNBP
#OccupyJulorbiHouse
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The most annoying thing about companies that don’t even pay well is that they’ll use you till you can’t feel your back. 8-5, overtime here and there. The 5 sef you want go house then the boss dey clear ihn throat.
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He deserves it. They sell a bottle of water for 17 cedis at Sandbox
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Today’s the best day to call debtors who’ve been ducking calls and hit them with, “Sɛ wo dwen sɛ dispatch rider? Me sika no wo hen?”
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Wandered into some stranger's funeral the next day and cried my heart out. It was the only place no one would ask why I was crying.
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So my friend got edibles. She had some that morning and left the rest in the fridge. Big mistake. Krunked and barely awake, next thing she heard was “Temi, I’m possessed. The spirits are working. This is an unusual feeling!”
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Our first
#GenerationNow
brunch was a huge success. Can’t wait to show you guys what we have planned for 2024.
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Same CID officers dusting for prints at mine when I got robbed. One of them got on the roof for no reason and somersaulted onto the ground (ah chale). That was the last time I heard from them though. Useless.
I remember when thieves broke into my house and we had to go pick up CID officers to come and "investigate". They came with digital camera to "capture fingerprint". Till today we no hear from them. But as for riot gear we get am in abundance. Wona priorities dey toss pass.
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I heard one guy at the London protest said, “3nny3 me work visa yi paa anka s3 nea me si ataa akokora baako kon ekyi no…”
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Silverbird packed over 100 people in a poorly ventilated lobby lit with disco lights, and threw in a DJ. Dude was even giving shoutouts and announcements. I can’t believe they put me through a Taifa nightclub experience before I could watch a movie that I paid for
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Ghanaians stress me sometimes. Submitted a tender for a contract. Didn’t win. Fair. Why am I now being asked to help the person who won for a quarter of the fee?
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Interviewed two Ghanaian legends,
@StephenAppiah
and Azumah Nelson for the Game Changers issue of the
@EMYAfrica
magazine. Can’t wait for you guys to see this one. Out next week! Photo by
@Gilbertasante
.
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My father once said there are very talented people among us who are doomed to fail because they have no one to help them. I disagreed at the time but I finally get him
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I find it so crazy that we’ve normalised political corruption in this country. We’ve even given it a monicker — national cake. I get that we’re laughing to cope but when you deep it, it’s actually very sad.
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When they finally let the screen doors open, we had to push to get in. Damn near stampede. Someone randomly took off MY glasses and screamed ‘THIS IS SPARTA!’. Then I want mad
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For
@tv3_ghana
’s Group Head of Sports
@julietbawuah
, putting in work and making sacrifices to improve one day at a time is all that matters. Everything else is a non-starter. Read about her in the
#GameChangers
issue of the
#EMYAfricaMagazine
.
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‘Fatherhood is by faith.’ My evidence law lecturer said 80% of his clients who’ve had DNA tests found out at least one of their kids wasn’t theirs. He told us he just assumes his kids are his and lives his life in happiness.
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“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
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Hardest part about talking to someone new is keeping a straight face when she’s straight up lying about her life. Ma’am, according to page 74 of my research notes...
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If Ghanaians decide to stay in this abusive relationship, we might as well just replace the black star with the Jordan crying face.
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When I notice a woman isn’t feeling me anymore, I just cut her off completely. I’m not staying around for that ruthlessness
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First time I got my heart broken was in UG. My homeboys found me in the Balme library shrubs after looking for me for three days.
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Mr Cocoyam looks like he was screaming ‘mama yie; dada yie’ right before that mug shot. This clout thing man smh
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Soon as Samira stepped out, AdomTV commentator said 'nantwi pa w) seremu'. 😂😂😭
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Ah your bonnet that? Why you dey drive troski?
Your excellency
@JDMahama
I thought the construction of the Kwame Nkrumah interchange was to reduce traffic?!?!!!? It's worse now!! 😳😩😩😩
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A few weeks ago, my brother, myself and the team at Carbon AV wanted to produce the perfect stage performance. After weeks of putting it together,
@EFYA_Nokturnal
and
@akwaabamusic
delivered.
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Guys, before you share ideas with potential investors, please have them sign confidential agreements. It’s a jungle out here.
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Going to work after a rigorous leg session at the gym. My car’s jerking on N1 so much that a troski driver pulled up asked, ‘ah abrantie woonya stroke anaa?’
My legs dey shake crazy
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