😀
@______Bernardo
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Airbnb host reported me for having my friend over so I reported her for having an undisclosed ring camera … we’re having a report-off
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Me in highschool: takes 8 consecutive classes + extracurriculars/clubs
Me in college after logging into one online class:
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She dropped it after I told her I was reporting her … you need this passive income more than I need this place 😹
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Me cancelling the Snapchat call after hitting the call button on accident
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@missed_3pointer
@myhomegirlDubs
AND WHERE THEY SURVEIL YOU TO CHECK YOURE NOT BRINGING ANYONE LIKE IT’S LITERALLY GIVING THIS
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This man got in 3 ivys.... honestly I kind of find it inspirational. It shows me getting into those institutions means nothing
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I understand not wanting parties but if you don’t want strangers in your house perhaps airbnb isn’t the best option for you… perhaps a job might be better!
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@Von_Hertzog
@DrunkOnCircus
@PrizzilLuxe
@chamoniIIe
@serfbort
That girl, as you all may now know, was Albert Einstein
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I don't see a "it's too cold and rainy so I'm cancelling class" email... my internet MUST be slow, Imma go back to bed just in case
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@theguycon
Listen! I looked up those terms of service so fast like girl if I gotta pack and go somewhere else I’m getting you delisted 😭
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I just remembered oomf matched with a guy on tinder and she told him she lived in riverside and he was like "be careful, I used to mug people there" like skdjdkskd WHAT
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Personally love it when meritocracy gets exposed as a lie😌 like when that jfk harvard essay got posted and it was 3rd grader writing
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UT students really are extra as fuck like I never hear my friends from other schools stress over internships, research experience and orgs the way we do like maybe we are doing a little too much
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Wait... people travel to Austin for .... round up??? LMFAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Yall at 86: let me tell yall about summer 2016
Yall's grandkids: can we PLEASE have something to eat....
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No cause visiting Texas after living somewhere walkable feels so annoying
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@BadicalDude
@sydneyevans_
@Bradley_Lambeth
Lmfao that's how I knew she was homophobic, if you think ppl choose to be gay then you MUST feel superior in some way
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Me leaving the 7 eleven on guadalupe at 1 a.m. pretending I can't hear the man sitting on the sidewalk screaming at me
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Being able to learn history through a non-Western and non-white lense is so helpful to understanding the world today and people shouldn't have to wait till college for it
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Me: *has 5 readings, 10 homework assignments, 2 quizzes, 3 essays due*
Also me:
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Scammers don't even try to do their research I keep getting phone calls telling me my car's warranty is about to expire. Beloved WHAT car????
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It's the fact that the U.S. isn't just doing a bad job with COVID, but objectively THE worst job in the entire globe of 195 countries
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Greg Fenves:
Omg 2 dead and 4 injured in bombing
:((
✨Thread on why raising y'all's tuition is a good idea✨
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Him turning down a whole movie premiere but some of y’all can’t give up that drywall sandwich from Starbucks😭
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For reference, this is more than the entire countries of Germany (198,310), France (168,810), Colombia (120,281), Canada (106,106), China (83,565), Nigeria (29,286), Taiwan (449), Vietnam (369), etc. If Texas was a country it would be 16th in the world in # of cases.
BREAKING: A grim milestone, Texas has reached 200,000 coronavirus cases, 17 days after reaching 100,000, a number that took four months to hit 1/
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UT culture is going home for break and talking about how you're thriving being away from the toxicity of UT for 2 days just to then realize your family is toxic as fuck too and now you wanna go back sldhdkd
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$100 to any female. That's it. That's the tweet. Men get your wallets out it's time for reparations😌
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Honestly that whole transition from being mutually in love with someone and watch you slowly become a burden to them (a burden to talk to, to give attention to, to be with) was the worst thing I've ever felt and I rather die than go through that again
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No wonder these juniors and seniors look old as shit they're actually 30 years old and haven't been able to register to the classes they need for 10+ years now
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Me going back to UT and seeing half of UT at the academic probation office
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Gays in middle school on askfm when someone would ask them if they're gay
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I deleted canvas because how addicting it is. People can open up their grades but cant open up their bible. I replaced the canvas app with my Bible app🤧🤧
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breaking news: human lives matter even if it's just 3% of them
Corona virus got a 97% survival rate nd the whole country panicking
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My mutuals not from UT must have such a low opinion of this school cause it rly is always some shit going on here
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Me in high school: ugh I got a B I wish I could've done a bit better I was so close to an A!
Me in college after getting a 60:
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People sugarcoat this as "networking" but it's really just nepotism
“Research shows that 70% of all jobs are not published publicly on jobs sites and as much as 80% of jobs are filled through personal and professional connections.”
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I did my best🥺
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This is what my cells look like when you look at them under a microscope
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Tech companies that currently work with ICE:
Amazon
Microsoft
Palantir (their whole business model is surveillance)
Thomson Reuters
Dell
Motorola
Hewlett Packard Enterprise
California Eyes Ban on Contracts With All Tech Companies That Work With ICE
Proud to stand alongside
@b_haddy
of
@SecureJustice
, who helped write this legislation, at Tuesday's hearing in Sacramento.
#NoDetentionNoSurveillance
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Imma leave out my GPA from my graduation post. Just know I graduated.
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Y'all be like "It's custom to follow back anyone that has UT in their bio😋" and then be shocked when someone puts a swastika on your TL
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Me: h-
The whole world: COLLEGE IS NOT LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. YOU'RE GONNA FAIL ALL YOUR CLASSES THE FIRST YEAR. IN FACT YOU'RE GONNA DIE.🗣🗣🗣
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The international student visa thing is insane cause like... why is ICE even allowed to make these decisions ....
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Yall ever change the scenario you're daydreaming about... like let me change the channel what else is on
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Students going back to their small towns for the summer are braver than the marines
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I get sad that we haven't had music from her in a while but then remember she too busy saving the world
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I need the UT photographers to step up and get this machine cause I want this for graduation😌
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“Soft life” influencer followers watching the same person brushing their teeth and opening their blinds for the 57th time
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I remember I was at starbucks and a UT student walked in loud as fuck doing a periscope. Then I scrolled down my TL and saw it had like 1 viewer. Girl you facetiming?
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One thing about UT they're gonna establish a committee instead of doing something useful
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We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁♀️💅
We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁♀️💅
We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁♀️💅
We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁♀️💅
We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁♀️💅
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Ever since that ONE student government election (and we all know the one) I feel like everybody collectively gave up on the UT government cause I haven't heard about it since 💀
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Instagram is such a last resource for a distraction. If you see me liking shit on there and watching your ig story just know I'm BORED
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I love how twitter clowns anyone that tries to come on here to flex. Keep that winning shit on instagram
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You have to FEED plants??? What happened to photosynthesis damn I gotta do EVERYTHING IN THIS BITCH!!!
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Wow I can't believe the cute guy at that party didn't approach me even though I did absolutely nothing to get his attention
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Why do professors for mandatory classes ask "what do you hope to get out of this course?" like literally all I need is that check mark in my degree audit obviously I'm not taking statistics for fun
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UT locals complain about how other UT students don't follow back but all y'all tweet about is how you want besitos so whose fault is it?????
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Wow first Michelle Obama, and now Cupcakke is at UT????
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Once you move away from a place that looks like the bottom picture you realize you can never go back 😭
How many Americans live in something that resembles the picture
1) above or
2) below?
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@Elevated_Von
Actually, the ideas are made by laborers too, laborers that are better compensated, but laborers nonetheless.
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Never telling anyone I graduated from the orange school cause it's really embarrassing headline after embarrassing headline
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This is me in every stem course ever like everyone always refuses to help
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Like... this is good news don't get me wrong, but I can't stop thinking about how all they had to do was snap their fingers and done, suddenly a bunch people can afford college. And it's not even a FRACTION of what they have available and they had just been... sitting on it...
BREAKING: An estimated one-fifth of all of
@UTAustin
's undergraduates will get full scholarships starting fall 2020 after UT regents voted just now to create a $160 million endowment for tuition assistance. Full rides for any undergrad with family income at $65,000 or less.
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Literally any other cfa: Welcome to the very one and only, cause we never want you to be lonely, if you want a horse we will buy you a pony, you're at chick fil a, it is 83 degrees rn and we are on the presence of the lord.
The cfa on campus: ...GO AHEAD. I SAID GO AHEAD, BITCH
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Literally a dream
When people freak out over the Cybertruck like it’s some sort of next level innovation... we could be doing so much more as a country. People need to dream bigger.
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Yall are lying your asses off about the mask not letting you breathe I literally forget mine is on
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I really REALLY hate the talking stage like you just ignored me for a solid 5 days and if I complain about it Imma sound crazy
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Y'all be like "omg I can't believe ut23 is here it feels like I got here yesterday😭" no sis that was 4 years ago you old and getting ready for the grave
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Your mcm couldn't tell you that he just didn't like you anymore so he told you he left you cause he "wasn't ready for a relationship". You just saw him on a dating app.
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Obsessed with the outcome being “you should build each other up instead of tearing each other down 😋❤️” when the topic in question is food safety
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The fact this is not a stan joke, the architects literally said she was their inspo like she's LITERALLY the blueprint
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Do y'all ever get anxious that you're not using everything your tuition is paying for? Like there's a big ass pool at this university and a whole bowling alley and I have not gone ONCE
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Mfs in tinder be like "NYC 5/20 San Francisco 6/7 Chicago 7/13" like okay what do you want us to do buy tickets???
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People in the quotes talking about this being colonization mind you this is Spain we’re talking about SPAIN …
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Yall are attending round UP but won't attend church to worship The One UP above! *booing from audience*
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Doja Cat is coming to Austin but she's gonna be at emo's and last time I went to a concert there I almost died😐 can you imagine dying from asphyxiation and dehydration in a mosh pit cause the venue is too small and packed while Say So plays in the background
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