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@______Bernardo

Followers
1,347
Following
685
Media
2,348
Statuses
41,190

he/him 🇻🇪

New York, NY
Joined August 2013
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@______Bernardo
😀
3 months
Airbnb host reported me for having my friend over so I reported her for having an undisclosed ring camera … we’re having a report-off
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me in highschool: takes 8 consecutive classes + extracurriculars/clubs Me in college after logging into one online class:
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@______Bernardo
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3 months
And now there’s a moth in here… let me report her again
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@______Bernardo
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3 months
She dropped it after I told her I was reporting her … you need this passive income more than I need this place 😹
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me cancelling the Snapchat call after hitting the call button on accident
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@______Bernardo
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3 months
@missed_3pointer @myhomegirlDubs AND WHERE THEY SURVEIL YOU TO CHECK YOURE NOT BRINGING ANYONE LIKE IT’S LITERALLY GIVING THIS
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
This man got in 3 ivys.... honestly I kind of find it inspirational. It shows me getting into those institutions means nothing
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@______Bernardo
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3 months
I understand not wanting parties but if you don’t want strangers in your house perhaps airbnb isn’t the best option for you… perhaps a job might be better!
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
@Von_Hertzog @DrunkOnCircus @PrizzilLuxe @chamoniIIe @serfbort That girl, as you all may now know, was Albert Einstein
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
How you mad cause YOU'RE spreading lies?😭
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
I don't see a "it's too cold and rainy so I'm cancelling class" email... my internet MUST be slow, Imma go back to bed just in case
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@______Bernardo
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3 months
@theguycon Listen! I looked up those terms of service so fast like girl if I gotta pack and go somewhere else I’m getting you delisted 😭
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
I just remembered oomf matched with a guy on tinder and she told him she lived in riverside and he was like "be careful, I used to mug people there" like skdjdkskd WHAT
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Personally love it when meritocracy gets exposed as a lie😌 like when that jfk harvard essay got posted and it was 3rd grader writing
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
@rondraper_ He was prob like "that's enough activism for today💟"
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
@dangellowill77 Not a damn thing
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
UT students really are extra as fuck like I never hear my friends from other schools stress over internships, research experience and orgs the way we do like maybe we are doing a little too much
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Wait... people travel to Austin for .... round up??? LMFAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
@Tay_Lenay @blKKstar A flat tire is temporary but bed bugs are forever😌
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
Yall at 86: let me tell yall about summer 2016 Yall's grandkids: can we PLEASE have something to eat....
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@______Bernardo
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3 years
No cause visiting Texas after living somewhere walkable feels so annoying
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
@BadicalDude @sydneyevans_ @Bradley_Lambeth Lmfao that's how I knew she was homophobic, if you think ppl choose to be gay then you MUST feel superior in some way
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Me leaving the 7 eleven on guadalupe at 1 a.m. pretending I can't hear the man sitting on the sidewalk screaming at me
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Being able to learn history through a non-Western and non-white lense is so helpful to understanding the world today and people shouldn't have to wait till college for it
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@______Bernardo
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2 years
No one’s grilling today all the men are on Instagram live
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me: *has 5 readings, 10 homework assignments, 2 quizzes, 3 essays due* Also me:
@CupcakKe_rapper
Dauntless Manifesthoe
7 years
I'm bout to go out
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Scammers don't even try to do their research I keep getting phone calls telling me my car's warranty is about to expire. Beloved WHAT car????
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
It's the fact that the U.S. isn't just doing a bad job with COVID, but objectively THE worst job in the entire globe of 195 countries
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Greg Fenves: Omg 2 dead and 4 injured in bombing :(( ✨Thread on why raising y'all's tuition is a good idea✨
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@______Bernardo
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10 months
Him turning down a whole movie premiere but some of y’all can’t give up that drywall sandwich from Starbucks😭
@weeklydeekly
baby ackee 🔻
10 months
Idk I have to stan. I think I’m a pookie now.
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
For reference, this is more than the entire countries of Germany (198,310), France (168,810), Colombia (120,281), Canada (106,106), China (83,565), Nigeria (29,286), Taiwan (449), Vietnam (369), etc. If Texas was a country it would be 16th in the world in # of cases.
@statesman
Austin Statesman
4 years
BREAKING: A grim milestone, Texas has reached 200,000 coronavirus cases, 17 days after reaching 100,000, a number that took four months to hit 1/
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
UT culture is going home for break and talking about how you're thriving being away from the toxicity of UT for 2 days just to then realize your family is toxic as fuck too and now you wanna go back sldhdkd
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
$100 to any female. That's it. That's the tweet. Men get your wallets out it's time for reparations😌
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Honestly that whole transition from being mutually in love with someone and watch you slowly become a burden to them (a burden to talk to, to give attention to, to be with) was the worst thing I've ever felt and I rather die than go through that again
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
No wonder these juniors and seniors look old as shit they're actually 30 years old and haven't been able to register to the classes they need for 10+ years now
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Stayed in school cause Nicki told me to😌
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me going back to UT and seeing half of UT at the academic probation office
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
me when men say they have "a dark sense of humor"
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Gays in middle school on askfm when someone would ask them if they're gay
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Good morning what's UT charging me for today
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@______Bernardo
😀
7 years
I deleted canvas because how addicting it is. People can open up their grades but cant open up their bible. I replaced the canvas app with my Bible app🤧🤧
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@______Bernardo
😀
5 years
breaking news: human lives matter even if it's just 3% of them
@TheyLoveDjJigga
Grand Master Jigg
5 years
Corona virus got a 97% survival rate nd the whole country panicking
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
LMFAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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@______Bernardo
😀
5 years
My mutuals not from UT must have such a low opinion of this school cause it rly is always some shit going on here
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@______Bernardo
😀
7 years
My brain stem looking for my last brain cell during a test
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
She said shut up Im trying to lie to these dummies
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me in high school: ugh I got a B I wish I could've done a bit better I was so close to an A! Me in college after getting a 60:
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@______Bernardo
😀
11 months
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
@CupcakKe_rapper QU3EN OF TRANSPORTATION Uber and Lyft just went out of business
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
People sugarcoat this as "networking" but it's really just nepotism
@Eugene_Scott
Eugene Scott
5 years
“Research shows that 70% of all jobs are not published publicly on jobs sites and as much as 80% of jobs are filled through personal and professional connections.”
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
I did my best🥺
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Alright... the apartment is ready. Do y'all wanna see?🥺
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Seems pretty clear to me
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
This is what my cells look like when you look at them under a microscope
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@______Bernardo
😀
5 years
Tech companies that currently work with ICE: Amazon Microsoft Palantir (their whole business model is surveillance) Thomson Reuters Dell Motorola Hewlett Packard Enterprise
California Eyes Ban on Contracts With All Tech Companies That Work With ICE Proud to stand alongside @b_haddy of @SecureJustice , who helped write this legislation, at Tuesday's hearing in Sacramento. #NoDetentionNoSurveillance
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Imma leave out my GPA from my graduation post. Just know I graduated.
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@______Bernardo
😀
6 years
Y'all be like "It's custom to follow back anyone that has UT in their bio😋" and then be shocked when someone puts a swastika on your TL
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Me: h- The whole world: COLLEGE IS NOT LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. YOU'RE GONNA FAIL ALL YOUR CLASSES THE FIRST YEAR. IN FACT YOU'RE GONNA DIE.🗣🗣🗣
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
The international student visa thing is insane cause like... why is ICE even allowed to make these decisions ....
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Yall ever change the scenario you're daydreaming about... like let me change the channel what else is on
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Students going back to their small towns for the summer are braver than the marines
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
I get sad that we haven't had music from her in a while but then remember she too busy saving the world
@RapUp
Rap-Up
7 years
Rihanna helps raise $2.3 billion for global education
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
I need the UT photographers to step up and get this machine cause I want this for graduation😌
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Me filling out my course evaluation surveys
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
MEEEEEEEEE. This ain't 911!
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@______Bernardo
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2 years
“Soft life” influencer followers watching the same person brushing their teeth and opening their blinds for the 57th time
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
@erasmusNYT
Pattern Ignorer
5 years
revisiting a classic, JFK’s Harvard admissions essay:
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
I remember I was at starbucks and a UT student walked in loud as fuck doing a periscope. Then I scrolled down my TL and saw it had like 1 viewer. Girl you facetiming?
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
One thing about UT they're gonna establish a committee instead of doing something useful
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Ever since that ONE student government election (and we all know the one) I feel like everybody collectively gave up on the UT government cause I haven't heard about it since 💀
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Instagram is such a last resource for a distraction. If you see me liking shit on there and watching your ig story just know I'm BORED
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
@lolsooj He could def get a job at herbalife
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
I love how twitter clowns anyone that tries to come on here to flex. Keep that winning shit on instagram
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
You have to FEED plants??? What happened to photosynthesis damn I gotta do EVERYTHING IN THIS BITCH!!!
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Wow I can't believe the cute guy at that party didn't approach me even though I did absolutely nothing to get his attention
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Why do professors for mandatory classes ask "what do you hope to get out of this course?" like literally all I need is that check mark in my degree audit obviously I'm not taking statistics for fun
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
UT locals complain about how other UT students don't follow back but all y'all tweet about is how you want besitos so whose fault is it?????
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Wow first Michelle Obama, and now Cupcakke is at UT????
@CupcakKe_rapper
Dauntless Manifesthoe
7 years
Ok but this wifi is garbage
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Once you move away from a place that looks like the bottom picture you realize you can never go back 😭
@urbanthoughts11
21st Century City
1 year
How many Americans live in something that resembles the picture 1) above or 2) below?
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@______Bernardo
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3 years
@Elevated_Von Actually, the ideas are made by laborers too, laborers that are better compensated, but laborers nonetheless.
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Never telling anyone I graduated from the orange school cause it's really embarrassing headline after embarrassing headline
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
This is me in every stem course ever like everyone always refuses to help
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
Like... this is good news don't get me wrong, but I can't stop thinking about how all they had to do was snap their fingers and done, suddenly a bunch people can afford college. And it's not even a FRACTION of what they have available and they had just been... sitting on it...
@PhilJankowski
Phil Jankowski 🌟
5 years
BREAKING: An estimated one-fifth of all of @UTAustin 's undergraduates will get full scholarships starting fall 2020 after UT regents voted just now to create a $160 million endowment for tuition assistance. Full rides for any undergrad with family income at $65,000 or less.
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Literally any other cfa: Welcome to the very one and only, cause we never want you to be lonely, if you want a horse we will buy you a pony, you're at chick fil a, it is 83 degrees rn and we are on the presence of the lord. The cfa on campus: ...GO AHEAD. I SAID GO AHEAD, BITCH
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@______Bernardo
😀
5 years
Literally a dream
@pictureplane
🪄PICTUREPLANE🌙
5 years
When people freak out over the Cybertruck like it’s some sort of next level innovation... we could be doing so much more as a country. People need to dream bigger.
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Yall are lying your asses off about the mask not letting you breathe I literally forget mine is on
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Y'all AREN'T graduating a year early??? LMFAAOOOOOO 📸: @_That_African
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@______Bernardo
😀
7 years
Me filling out FAFSA to get my $5 grant and $1,000,000 loan
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
I really REALLY hate the talking stage like you just ignored me for a solid 5 days and if I complain about it Imma sound crazy
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@______Bernardo
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4 years
Yall would fuck a squirrel if it had pectorals
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Y'all be like "omg I can't believe ut23 is here it feels like I got here yesterday😭" no sis that was 4 years ago you old and getting ready for the grave
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@______Bernardo
😀
7 years
Your mcm couldn't tell you that he just didn't like you anymore so he told you he left you cause he "wasn't ready for a relationship". You just saw him on a dating app.
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@______Bernardo
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2 years
Obsessed with the outcome being “you should build each other up instead of tearing each other down 😋❤️” when the topic in question is food safety
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
The fact this is not a stan joke, the architects literally said she was their inspo like she's LITERALLY the blueprint
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@______Bernardo
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7 years
Do y'all ever get anxious that you're not using everything your tuition is paying for? Like there's a big ass pool at this university and a whole bowling alley and I have not gone ONCE
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
Mfs in tinder be like "NYC 5/20 San Francisco 6/7 Chicago 7/13" like okay what do you want us to do buy tickets???
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@______Bernardo
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7 months
People in the quotes talking about this being colonization mind you this is Spain we’re talking about SPAIN …
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@______Bernardo
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6 years
Yall are attending round UP but won't attend church to worship The One UP above! *booing from audience*
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@______Bernardo
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5 years
Doja Cat is coming to Austin but she's gonna be at emo's and last time I went to a concert there I almost died😐 can you imagine dying from asphyxiation and dehydration in a mosh pit cause the venue is too small and packed while Say So plays in the background
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