Iโm Bri~! โฆ Minors DNI โฆ 30 โฆ She/Her โฆ ENG/ๆฅๆฌ่ช โฆ Fujoshi/Yumejoshi โฆ โ๐ w/ Any Ship โฆ Dead Dove and Toxic Men Lover โฆ Fic Author Sometimes โฆ Not Spoiler Free
WAIT NOBODY MOVE!
โฆ I finally got it. My โtheyโre brothersโ achievementโฆ ๐ฅบ
Itโs been 5,000 years since I started shipping Kaelucโฆ and now I have finally earned such a momentous milestoneโฆ ๐ญ๐๐
Paimon: "Kaeya, what did your letter from the Dodo-King say to lure you here?"
Kaeya: "I have Diluc naked, tied up, and drugged out of his mind on aphrodisiacs. He is crying and begging for you to save him and fuck him. If you don't come and fuck him before sunset, then I will."
Diluc as an omega pirate captain with a crew full of alpha men. Much stronger, bigger, and more powerful than him. His crew is loyal, though, and protective of him!
Diluc thinks heโs the one in charge, but actuallyโฆ itโs his alpha first mate Kaeya. ๐
Brainrotting againโฆ
Kaeya, Childe, and Diluc growing up together in an orphanage. Kaeya and Childe are maybe a few years older than Diluc and very protective of him b/c heโs so sweet and innocent~
Kaeya cupping Diluc's face and dragging a thumb over a bruise or small cut with gritted teeth and a barely suppressed feral rage in his eye as he hisses, "I'll kill him."
๐๐๐
Diluc in a drop-dead gorgeously elegant princess-style wedding dress with chained manacles around his wrists and neck. Tears in his eyes with a look of pure fear and hate as he glares at his husband-to-be and hisses, โYouโre a monster.โ ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
Okay, but even โAlberichโ is such a goddamn sexy name.
โRagnvindrโ? Itโs fine. Kinda hard to pronounce. And a lot of syllables.
But โAlberichโ? I will get on my knees for Mr. Alberich. I will suck Mr. Alberichโs dick if he just snaps his fingers at me.
Real brothers incest where they are orphans trying to survive together on the street, but the older does all the hard work to try and shield the younger from the horrors of the real world and they also fuck b/c they only trust each other, and yes, this is about Kaeluc.
Okay okay, IMAGINEโฆ a religion/cult built around worshipping Diluc as a sexual being. BUT his virginity must remain intact. Like, it would be like ruining a divine being with a mortalโs touch.
(1/6)
Diluc "camboy" AU, but make it super dead dove and noncon.
B/c that is what I do~
Diluc locked in a room with just basic things he needs: a simple bed, a toilet, and a shower/bath. BUT there are HD video cameras that can capture every inch of the room. Nowhere to hide.
I headcanon that, even though Kaeya has an ASTRONOMICALLY high sex drive, he draaaaags his foreplay out with Diluc as long as possible. B/c seeing Diluc squirm and beg and babble and drool and cry also feeds his sexual appetite and makes him feel satisfied.
Alpha Kaeya making omega Diluc wear a little mini maid dress at the tavern without panties and a big plug. And he keeps constantly teasing Diluc with touches and dirty whispers until Diluc slicks so much that the plug just falls out of him in the middle of the crowded tavern.
Omegaverse style H/unger G/ames where like one omega and several alphas are released into a huge forest-y arena. And the omega tries to hide and escape the alphas while the alphas try to find the omega and fight each other to the death for the omega.
I AM HAVING A CRISIS
HOW IS HE SO FEROCIOUS AND UWU AT THE SAME TIME?
LITTLE SWEET ANGY BABY
I WANT HIM COVERED IN KISSES
I WANT HIM TUCKED INTO BED AND SNUGGLED WHILE HE CRIES SOFTLY
I WANT HIM B R O K E N
Me: I love sexually experienced, heartbreaker Kae with innocent virgin Diluc... ๐ฅบ๐
Me: *Repulsed by the thought of Kaeya fucking anyone BUT Diluc*
I love when artists draw Kluc porn, and Diluc has those squiggly lines around his body in places like heโs just twitching and thrashing uncontrollably, but Kaeya doesnโt b/c heโs totally collected and in control while Diluc is just a complete mess~ ๐ฅฐ
I'M THINKING
Kaeya liked to play rough with Diluc when they were little b/c he thought Diluc's tears were cute, but he always cuddled Diluc after to comfort him.
But if someone else made Diluc cry... then Kaeya's slingshot would be aimed at THEM.
Kaeya: โOkay, men. Tie up the hostages to the mast, but gag โem so they donโt wake the captain. Remember, they tried to kidnap the captain and take him onto their ship. We should teach them what happens to those who try to touch him.โ
I love Diluc being told to โwork for itโ when he gets fucked. Like, โmove your hipsโ or โuse your tongue, suck harderโ or whatever.
If he wants to feel good, he has to earn it! ๐ค
That hentai trope of a student being used as a model for an anatomy class and gets stripped and humiliated in front of the whole classโฆ
I want that to happen to Shotaluc. ๐คค
Me one day:
Aww, Diluc, baby, you sleepy and cold? Don't worry, little lamb, I made you some nice, warm chicken soup. Childe will feed it to you in your soft and cozy bed while you lay back against Kaeya's chest. And he'll blow on it for you so you don't burn your little tongue.
Iโm seeing these cute little โmy ship in five minutesโ ship chart. If I find a blank one, maybe I will do my self-indulgent Kluc headcannons... ๐ค
Thinking about Kluc where Diluc just points at someone and says he wants them dead, and Kaeya just kills them. No hesitation or remorse. B/c if Diluc wants them dead, that's all that matters to Kaeya.
What his kitten wants, his kitten gets~ ๐๐
Okay, Kluc nation, everyone link arms. We will become a wall to keep out the wave of virtue-signaling American children that could potentially pour in from m/c/y/t twt or whatever.
I just think that Diluc is a cumdump but heโs also a shy, blushing, innocent virgin maiden but he also need to be nonconned and tortured and whumped until he cries but he also needs to be protected and tucked into a warm and comfy bed with soft kissed and cuddles but he also-
Apparently, everyone but me knew that the Diluc-plushie-in-a-jar picture meant the jar was gonna be full of Kaeya's cum.
Is this... such a popular thing that it's this well known? Collecting cum in a jar? ๐
I just thought Kaeya put Diluc in the jar to keep him trapped... ๐
Kaeya MOTHERFUCKING Alberich, you can't just lean there in THAT pose with your HAND on your BELT and that TEASING SMIRK with a HALF-LIDDED EYE and TOSSING THAT COIN and looking all SMUG and NOT expect me to just gush like Niagara Falls.
// CREPLUC
Crepus always demanding perfect posture from Diluc when heโs servicing men. Crepus would punish him for slouching or looking less than presentable. If heโs on his knees, heโs gotta keep his shoulders back, back arched, bottom out, and legs parted enough to display.
I always have to double check when I spell "cavalry," b/c it's a very hard word for my brain to remember which order the letters come in. And I always fear that I will slip and...
OH OH WAIT WHAT IF
Mermaid Diluc AU where Kaeya has this enormous and deep private lake. He keeps Diluc in his estate unless Diluc has been disobedient and needs to be punished. Then he drags Diluc out to the lake.
Okay, but Kaeya finding Diluc injured and unconscious beside a ley line memory and he holds Diluc in his arms while he observes the memory of what happened where Diluc gets violently nonconned by a hoard of Abyss Order monsters.
Like, Kaeya is always thinking when he's fucking or toying with Diluc. "What happens if I touch here? How would he react to this? His face will look cute if I say X." His mind is always on and always sharp, even while he's balls deep in Diluc.
I. am. BRAINROTTING.
Okay, so... Demon Kaeya and Angel Diluc who fall in love. They're banished to the mortal realm, as their love for each other is seen as an affront to both Heaven and Hell. They get to keep some of their angelic and demonic powers and their immortality.
Me: I never wear perfume. It's too strong smelling and expensive.
MHY: *Releases Kluc perfumes*
Me: Oh my god, I can smell like omega Diluc to attract Kaeya.
YESS SWEET INNOCENT BBY DIWUC ON HIS ROCKING HORSE PLAYING PRETEND AND HAVING THE CUTE AND PURE DREAMS OF A CHILD AND SADISTIC LITTLE SHIT KAEYA WHO ATTACKS ANIMALS FOR HIS OWN ENJOYMENT
MEANWHILE DILUC JUST... he can't think. He's so overwhelmed with the sensations Kaeya gives him. Whether Kaeya is inside him or just touching, teasing, and kissing him, he usually can't think. Every part of his mind is overloaded with what he's feeling.
OH MY GOD
Kaeya cornering someone who badtouched/nonconned Diluc in a small cave in Dragonspine and then sealing the cave entrance with thick ice. And then strutting away humming happily while the man screams inside, muffled by the ice.
OKAY I AM AWAKE AND OUT OF WORK AND MAY I JUST SAY THAT I AM HERE FOR THE THEORY THAT PIERRO IS KAEYA'S DAD COULD YOU IMAGINE HOW SEXY IT WOULD BE FOR PIERRO TO CAPTURE AND NONCON DILUC IF IT'S KAEYA'S DAD AND KAEYA MUST RESCUE DILUC FROM HIS EVIL FATHER HNNNGGG
OKAY I'M GONNA DO IT
I'M GONNA NAME KAELUC'S TRIPLET ALPHA SONS IN THIS COLLECTIVE BRAINROT WE HAVE LOVINGLY CONCOCTED
Their names are Astrum, Sidus, and Lucifer! They are triplets, they are alphas, and they love their Mama Diluc~! And they idolize their Papa Kaeya~!
Even when I imagine Kaeluc with teenage alpha sons, Kaeya and Diluc look like the same ageโฆ ๐
Explanation: Khaenriโahn people live much longer and age much more slowly once they hit adolescence. And Dilucโฆ gets that Khaenriโahn seed regularly, so heโs also blessed.
Oh my god, what ifโฆ
Childe kidnaps Diluc, and when Kaeya finally tracks them down to rescue Dilucโฆ Childe has turned Diluc into a mind broken, hypnotized puppet. And Childe orders Diluc to kill Kaeya, so Kaeya has to fight Dilucโฆ ๐ฑ๐ญ
I think in the beginning Diluc has enough of his brain still working to like get flustered or embarrassed by the things Kaeya says or does, but after a while, his mind just melts into goo.
I just think that Kaeya holding Diluc against him and kissing and licking and nibbling his ear while whispering the filthiest things in a low and sultry voice while Diluc squirms in vain to get away from the vice grip and blushes bright red, teary-eyed from the sensation.
I see... so while Kaeya is out fighting monsters and tracking down criminals and enemies for the Knights, he is thinking of his sweet wife Diluc. Safe at home, but he still can't help watching over the Winery from afar b/c he's so overprotective uwu~ ๐ฅฐ
Being super sick has made me think a lot about Diluc getting sick and clingy and wanting to cuddle Kaeya to keep warm, and Kaeya taking care of him. Making him tea, cooking him soup, and cuddling him for hours while Diluc rests~ ๐ฅบ๐
Good morning! Today I am thinking about Diluc getting nonconned by a gang of Treasure Hoarders, tied up with his legs spread, blindfolded, and left by the road with a โFREE USEโ or something sign.
AU where Dilucs in all Kluc AUs get jumbled and end up in the wrong worlds with the wrong Kaeyas.
Prince Kaeya finds cheerleader Diluc.
Devil Kaeya finds golden boy Diluc.
Illegal street racer Kaeya finds Princess Diluc.
Alpha wolf Kaeya finds Merluc.
What would happen? ๐ค๐
Maid Diluc except he actually has to do difficult chores every day with a vibrating dildo up his ๐ and a pp cage and chastity belt to keep him on edge without cumming. And a skimpy maid outfit complete with a corset so tight that he has to gasp for air and very high stilettos~
WAIT I JUST HAD AN IDEA
Mechanic Kaeya who works shirtless or in tank tops showing off his jacked arms and sexy car washer Diluc who wears distressed jean shirt shorts and heels they work together and are dating or married
Even though Kaeya has a cryo vision, I like to think that his body is so warm. B/c I just love imagining Diluc snuggling into Kaeyaโs strong chest and massive pecs, and itโs just so warm and safe, and Kaeyaโs smell is so familiar and comforting. It feels like home to him. ๐ฅฐ
And then eventually, when Diluc is close to being taken away for good and thereโs seemingly nothing Kaeya and Childe can do, they burn down the orphanage and steal Diluc away amidst the flames, smoke, and panic.
Kaeya and Diluc have so many similarities as a couple~!
- They both were raised in Mondstadt
- They both use swords
- They are both very attractive
- They both walk on two legs
- They both have tongues
- They both have seen a tree at least once in their life
I canโt decide if I like the idea of Kaeya blinding and deafening Diluc to make him completely dependent on himโฆ ๐ค
All without any external damage or scarring, of course. Canโt mar his pretty doll~
I love the idea of Diluc as a wife very much. But for some reasonโฆ even more than wifeโฆ bride Diluc is hornier to me. Bride Diluc is an innocent, blushing, virgin maiden. Heโs be so sensitive to ever touch. Heโs never felt such things before. And heโd be so shy~
Guys, I will probably go to bed in the next couple hours, but please reply to me with your favorite official art of Kaeya and/or Diluc! It can be a frame from the manga, promotional art, whatever! Just as long as it's from MHY and not another artist!
For me, it's...
I like to imagine that in the Papakae, Mamaluc, and their alpha triplets AU that omegas are super rare, like 5% of the population. Some alphas will go their whole life without seeing an omega. So that means that alphas could go totally FERAL upon seeing Diluc. A real OMEGA!
(6/6)
If he doesn't do what his viewer paid to command him to do, he gets shocked by his collar. And he'll continue to get shocked until he performs what he was ordered to do.
Also, he gets his food and water from two large fake dicks mounted to the wall that he has to suck.
Iโm just starting the event, and I already KNOW theyโre both in it, but I literally just walked up and saw them both standing thereโฆ andโฆ
I am ugly crying.
THEM
PLEASE
LOOK AT THEM
I LOVE THEM
You know how magicians always have a "lovely assistant"? What about suave and theatrical magician Kaeya and his lovely assistant Diluc.
But they kill people in the middle of their magic acts. Like, the audience thinks they "made someone disappear", but they're just dead.
But theyโre also possessive. Any time prospective parents show up with an interest in adopting Diluc, the two of them do anything to make sure Diluc isnโt taken from them. Even spill blood.