Brittany L. Shelton 💙
@_BLShelton
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•Artist•Author: 'Discovering Beautiful' available on Amazon•17 Yrs SOBER •Complex Childhood Trauma Advocate •Catastrophically aware•Very married: @xRingleader
Joined February 2013
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Today is the first day of my 17th year of
#sobriety
.
I woke up to a sweet note from my husband telling me how proud he is of my sober journey.
My life has transformed and it all started with kind strangers who welcomed me, loved me, listened to me, and accepted me as is.
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17 yrs of sobriety with a night to myself with no husband or kids. My brain: Hey girl. Def go to that dispensary down the street then come home to chill and watch a movie. So I bought some Butter Pecan Ice cream, went to the gym, & painted a bird. Because I'm not f•cking stupid.
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If I wasn't sober, I wouldn't have any of this. They're my world.
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I used to hate myself. All of me. One night after another day full of pills + alcohol I smashed my face into a mirror. Some say crazy-I say deeply wounded + in pain. Either way, there are many freedoms that will meet you in your
#sobriety
.
Self-acceptance is one of so many.
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I just bought my first bird feeder. We hung it and I waited and waited for the birds to come. I got super excited when I saw the first bird notice it and land on it. And I said out loud I hope he tells his friends.
This is my sobriety.
And I am having a f•cking blast.
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Stop pushing the narrative that addiction will always be a daily, relentless struggle. That's actually not the case for many I know in long term recovery.
Will it always be something that I take care of? Sure. But a daily "battle?" Not for me.
And not for everyone, forever.
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Just spent 10 min talking to a person outside of Walmart who had a table set up with Recovery merchandise. He is 6 months into his program & couldn't wait to tell every person who passed by about his new life and the program that has changed his life.
I hope he has a great day.
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Soon I'll be celebrating 17 years of continuous sobriety. By celebrating I mean quietly going on about my day. 17 yrs of facing my past, my healing, & discovering of who I am & what I'm capable of for 17 years. Also, waking up exactly where I intended to for 17 straight years. 🥳
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I am a person in recovery.
I am the sister of a person struggling with sobriety.
I am the daughter of a person who has always struggled with substances.
I am the mother of 3 people who deserve something new.
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Heard today that my brother is 19 days sober.
Sure we've been here a million times, but we know all it takes is once.
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This is my oldest son. He was 4 when I got completely sober & for 17.5 years of his life, Ive transformed into slightly different versions of myself. HE, unknowingly, kept me alive all those years ago, & now he's almost the age I was when I got
#sober
. Life is beautiful, friends.
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That's a wrap on my thirties. Hello, 40. 🥳
I am SO grateful for this life.
If you're newly
#sober
HANG ON!
It gets better.
#gratitude
#recovery
#soberlife
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When you finally stop drinking, for whatever reason-you will start to notice how obsessed and centered our culture is with alcohol consumption.
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"It's important, but if you lose your sobriety, it doesn't mean you lose all that time & education. Your sober date changes, but that's all. You know everything you knew before, as long as you were able to fight your way back without dying, you learn a lot."
-Matthew Perry
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12 years ago today I quit smoking cigarettes. 🚫
It took me almost 5 years to quit after I got sober.
My mentor told me to ease up on myself; I couldn't quit everything at once. I was making progress. Staying on track. Getting healthier. Gaining weight.
Be kind to yourself.
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16th sober Christmas in the books.
It just gets better and better.
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Today is my middle son's 15th birthday.
I've been
#sober
his ENTIRE LIFE. He knows his worth. He knows he is loved. He is a highly motivated, incredible young person.
There is nothing more fulfilling than being in a position to try to be the best version of myself for my 3 boys.
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16 years sober, but 16 years free of relying on poor substitutions to feel operable, comfortable, and content with my beautiful life and in my own skin.
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5 months into my no lashes, no hair color, going grey journey. 🖤🙂👵🏻
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Hi.
My name is Brittany, and I'm
a person in recovery, healing from
Complex Childhood Trauma
and Self-Destruction.
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I feel like we should talk more about the early gifts of
#recovery
.
Like paying a bill on time.
Taking care of a warrant.
Not having your pupils checked when you get home.
Showing up on time.
Showing up at all.
Being trusted with responsibilities.
Not losing your car.
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I never get political here. I try really hard not to. But I need you to know in case you're not sure:
Christian Nationalism = White Nationalism
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My mom is 53. She sobered up in her late forties. I am 37. I sobered up in my early twenties. Here's to breaking cycles through improvement. By building, healing, and creating new paths.
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You can be a sober, strong, badass warrior- while also being soft, kind, vulnerable, and emotionally intelligent.
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I wrecked cars, lost my license, been to jail, woke up disappointed to be alive again in the middle of my own puke, searched for pills in carpet fibers, drank my brkfast, stole from ppl who trusted me, hurt ppl I cared about, & did things I felt ashamed of.
-Still worthy of love.
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Just spent the day with my brother who just got out of jail. I'm so thankful for the time that we were able to have. So thankful. But I'm also leaving feeling absolutely devastated for him and the demons he is battling. Jft I know what I can do and what is out of my hands..
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I got sober so young. 23 years old.
But the thing is-you know when your soul is tired.
You know when you're desperate and aching to land somewhere safe. You know when you're ready. You know when you're out of road. Your time is your time.
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I have only been sober for 17 years.
For 17 very short years I have been healing, working, and enjoying the stillness that I have found in being content with what was, accepting of what is, and excited about what may come.
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Being sober for 1, 2, 10, or 50 yrs doesn't give you some sort of special chip, pass, or ticket to incessantly police everyone & treat them as inferior. If you can't see the irony in constant and aggressive boasting about your infinite knowledge-then maybe the joke's on you. 🥰😴
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Do you want to know what helped me significantly, more than I could have ever imagined when I was newly sober and emotionally fragile?
Getting the f-ck away from people who liked to see me struggle, who enjoyed watching me fall, & felt a sense of comfortable when I was sad.
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I've only been to AA one time and that was for a class observation assignment. I've been sober almost 17 years & I have to say there are many, many strong, acceptable, life-changing paths. Don't ever forget that this is your journey. Take what you need from where you need it. 🙂
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If you're struggling, but still staying sober-
don't you dare discount how badass that is.
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Sobriety 16 years and 7 months.
I still feel overwhelmed occasionally but not with urges to use any substances, but w/ urges to say fuck this it's too hard & Im too fucked up.
And then I remember that line of thinking is immature. Unrealistic. Untrue. I am strong and capable.
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I am not currently part of any 12-step program and haven't been in over a decade. However, I carry w me the foundation that was laid all those years ago. I'm thankful I learned the importance of community, & giving of time, that is all wrapped up in service without expectation.
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One day at a time for 16 years. This name tag is from my first ever meeting Dec 2006. People were kind, welcoming, non-judgmental, & offered open hearts & hugs. I was appalled. Annoyed. Uncomfortable. Furious. But also-curious. I wanted peace.
An authentic life-and I have it.🖤
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Me to girl @ work:
Congrats to your husband on 9 years of sobriety,
I saw it on Facebook!
Her: Thanks! I know nobody cares, but I've been sober for 9 years too. (In support of him).
Um, yes I do care! Huge deal. Good for her..
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I've only been sober 17 yrs.
I'm certified in Addiction Studies.
Was raised by someone addicted to Crack.
Don't come at me with your BS.
I am allowed to have opinions here, just as you are.
We don't have to "agree" but in case you need a reminder :
YOU DON'T RUN THIS SPACE.
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I might not attend 12-step meetings anymore, but early Recovery 'Daily Inventories' introduced me to lasting, habitual, daily introspection. Which, for the last 16 years have been a key to consistent personal growth.
#RecoveryPosse
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If you think about it, those older, less wise versions of yourself were somehow able to carry you through those hard times. That's a big deal. No need to carry shame for those versions of you. You needed them.
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Do you know how many people Ive pissed off over the years by saying that I prefer not to be around people who are drunk? I'm not sure why that is so offensive to ppl. It's not judgmental to have personal preferences & standards. If that makes you feel offended, that's on you.
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After I got sober I went to school & got my certification in Addiction Studies. Started a blog. Wrote a book. Had guest spots in a magazine, radio show & podcasts. Now I am a pt lunch lady at a HS.
One thing I've learned: You can make a positive impact NO MATTER where you are.
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If you're brand new to
#sobriety
there's something I want you to know. Everyone's path & journey is completely different. Our needs are different. But even after 16 years of continuous sobriety I still don't regret my choice to face my problems and pain head-on. Every day.
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I've met people here who, like me, didn't have family support in early recovery. Who have built & patched together a strong support network of new friends, new mentors, & chosen family. It's life changing, whether you realize it or not, to love & welcome people into your life.
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I rarely give direct advice bc I prefer sharing my experiences instead-but 2 key things I would tell a newly
#sober
person:
1. Pay close attention to how you're feeling & why
2. Be willing to stay honest with yourself
17 years, 10 months later-these 2 things still help me.
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Small package came yesterday and I didn't know what it was. My husband surprised me with this last night. 🖤😊
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I'm not sure everyone cares to understand that trauma recovery and addiction recovery are not one in the same. I had been living in constant chaos my whole life. The addiction was just another layer to unpack-piled on top of years and years of pain, abuse, and neglect.
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What is one thing you would tell someone who is newly sober and struggling?
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Tomorrow, someone I love and care about is having a pretty long surgery to remove Cancer.
So. Pls if you are willing to take a second send your good thoughts or prayers or vibes.
I hope she has a smooth surgery and they are able to get to all of it.
PS: Get your colonoscopy
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Sometimes I just want to say to people that I'm f****** trying. Some days are really really hard and I know that it's not everyone else's job to pick up my social slack, but I'm f****** trying. Thanks. 🙂
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Today marks 10 years of
#recovery
for me
If you're struggling to see how you will make it please know I did too, for so long
God is good
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I still use my paper calendar on my wall that I can touch and feel and write on with a pen. Anyone else still use old-school calendars? 🗓️
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I am on my way to share my story with the house full of women in recovery. Please send prayers/ thoughts/ vibes. I'm not nervous at all I just want to say inspiring and powerful things and I hope that it encourages someone listening tonight.
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Early sobriety was rough. The physical unrest, emotional upheaval, and psychological instability almost pushed me right back to where I started.
Sometimes the only goal is to get through another 24 hours. And that's more than enough. So remember to be proud of yourself.
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To all of you kindly suggesting AA for my brother or suggesting that'll be his saving Grace, consider that people who struggle with alcoholism + several severe Mental Health issues will need a lot more than AA.
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Why share this deeply personal issue on the twitter? Because there are actually some topics and conversations that simply have to be had with people who are genuinely empathetic and loving, and some feelings that shouldn't be left unspoken in my sober mind. Thanks for listening.
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You
do
not
have
to
sponsor
anyone
at
all
ever
to
be
"of service" or to "carry a message" of hope.
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My brother is a repeat DWI offender. He won't ever have a license here in our state. He's also homeless. And now a repeat Trespass offender for sleeping in public places. Silver lining: All of these 90 day stints he's doing now for those tickets could be the window he gets sober.
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I'm not an alcoholic, but I choose not to drink. Because I'm a former f****** pill head,
and when I drink- I search for pills.
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Caption: Xanax for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Circa 2006-months before I went to my first mtg. I looked as empty as I felt.
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Good morning to everyone fighting through early sobriety. If you have to take it minute by minute or hour by hour today-do that.
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June. I hit my 17.5 yrs. Free of pills. Free from domestic violence. Free of alcohol. Free of believing that conforming to generational norms would be my legacy. And I did it with a complex, personal, messy regimen consisting of parts and pieces many, many different approaches.
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13 yrs ago today I quit smoking cigarettes.
I was 5 yrs sober. I was so hard on myself for continuing to smoke after quitting everything else. It didn't occur to me that I had moved to a different city, changed my number, & started counseling. A friend reminded me: Easy does it.
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Still the best description I have ever read yet. And guess what. People don't have to understand it in order for your feelings or struggles to be valid. Find a few who are able to be compassionate and empathetic, and ignore the noise.
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My oldest would like the internet to know that I was a terrible mother, he resents me & would like for me to f•ck off. So. Breaking generational cycles is messy. Imperfect & Ive owned (privately & openly) my bad choices & shortcomings. I've tried to do better. All I can do.
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One thing I've learned being sober
is how silly and full of shit I was
thinking I was good at pretending to be sober.
Just an fyi-they know. Everyone knows.
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Early sobriety is scary. You aren't able to see the other side, you're unsure if anything makes sense, your feelings are in an uproar, your MH feels like you're swinging from a pendulum. Everything is in a free fall of uncertainty. And yet-you're precisely where you need to be.
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You're doing great.
Keep going.
Do it tired.
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If you're
#sober
and in
#recovery
from substance use disorder, healing from
#ComplexTrauma
, or both- hear me when I tell you:
I am proud of you for being here today.
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I don't trust advocates, leaders, or influencers of any kind who try to portray perfection. You don't have anything to teach me if you can't admit that you have room to grow-or that you still struggle on some level with some things.
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I've learned that trauma healing for me is a lot of gently allowing myself to say " I'd like to learn more about how that made me feel and why." And taking my sweet ass time as I dig around without approval or permission from anyone.
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Stay away from the ones who claim to have all the definitive answers. They don't.
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💕☘️ On this special day 16 years ago, I was arrested for possession and assault. Today I will celebrate my sobriety by reminding any struggling newcomer: YOU AREN'T MISSING A DAMN THING TODAY. Stay home. Take a nap. Read a book. Cook. Binge watch a show. Take a walk. Journal.
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Sometimes I look back at how sick I was. My relationship w/ food. My relationship w/ myself. My relationship w/ the people around me. I was fully isolated & empty. And although I still struggle w/ food, I am SO thankful for a full heart, vulnerability, a full life, & healing.
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You can have 50 years of sobriety and you still aren't in charge of anyone else's pathway or what works best for them as an individual. If you find that difficult to accept-that's a you problem.
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This is what held me back and kept me stuck for too long. Not only was I dead set on gaining approval, desperately seeking apologies & acknowledgment -I also couldn't believe that none of it impacted them or hindered them from living their best lives.
It's absolutely not fair that survivors have to do all this work to create a life we don't hate, while abusers can often just cruise along w/out any pressure or need to change.
But: we can't let that stop or distract us from working our recovery & creating the life we deserve.
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You didn't see the times before I got sober that I tried & failed on my own. The desperation. The frustration with myself. The hopelessness. The pitch black. I couldn't string ten sober hours together, let alone a day or two. But I kept trying. That's sometimes all you can do.
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I am married to an Agnostic social drinker. He is my best friend. I am a Jesus follower and sober person of thirteen years. It IS actually possible to interact, love, accept, and form strong connections with people who don't think exactly like you.
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Happy 15 years of sobriety to me. I'm doing a low-key, get off work, keep it to myself type of celebration. But I did want to say: Don't you ever let anybody count you out because you have a past and never feel shame for trying to change your life, or break patterns. Keep going.
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The kindness, gentleness, open acceptance, and patience I was met with in my earliest days of
#sobriety
was equivalent to somebody taking my face into their hands -and allowing me to exhale for the first time in my life. Knowing that I was safe, and it was okay to breathe.
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Just unfollowed a person who just called a group of humans, illegals. For fucks sake. Don't trick me into following you for sobriety or MH content then plaster your bs everywhere. This is why I try to take my time before I follow back. Lesson learned.
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Ppl ask for the secret to healing & I have to say, if anyone claims to have a stand alone cure for Complex Trauma, I have some bad news about who you're following.
Good news: It's true that We CAN change. Our bodies & brains WILL slowly decompress & we CAN create peaceful lives.
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If I could have given myself one piece of advice in early recovery, it would have been to slow down. Stop looking ahead. Stop comparing my healing to other's. Stop wishing the days went faster. Enjoy one day at a time. Every phase has meaning & power & purpose. Just slow down.
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It's never too late in life to decide to get your shit together. Happy Friday.
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You don't have to turn every negative into a positive. No. You don't have to stay there, live in it, or let it dictate your life or decisions. You can and will eventually grow from it. But it's okay to just acknowledge that something was really difficult, hurtful, & changed you.
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After you crawl out of the kind of darkness that accompanies yrs of Complex Trauma there isn't a lot that can break you. You know what you're capable of. You believe in your worth. You understand other ppl's opinions don't hold any weight whatsoever. You're focused on rebuilding.
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