ALERT: The syndicate known as the “Chair Chumps” have recently been seen releasing robotic chairs similar to the image below out into the nest areas of District 11. Be careful if you spot any of these.
We have achieved 600 followers! Here is a cake someone in our office baked. We hope all of you are staying safe within the city. If you ever need protection, hire us. We are your shield.
*Employee face was drawn over and blurred per their request.
We have successfully taken care of the Ballsack Boys, however, we pray for the other fixers out there who are currently fighting for their life. If you need, call us and we will help fight. You still need to pay after
ALERT: A currently unnamed Urban Legend classed distortion has been terrorizing the waterfront areas of District 21. It is recommended to notify any Zwei offices if it is spotted.
Please keep an eye out for the notorious "Ballsack Boy" gang when traversing the backstreets of District 7. They are dangerous and have caused a lot of trouble in the past few weeks.
Recently a large cube of ice has been spotted in District 25. Witnesses say they’ve seen a vaguely humanoid being within the ice. Fixers have volunteered to move the block of ice somewhere else to prevent flooding as it is meting at a rapid rate.
ALERT: The Ballsack Boys have been witnessed doing their infamous office raids in districts 20, 10, 3, and 13. Please be cautious if you direct an office or are apart of one and live in these districts.
Unfortunately, this year, most branches of the Zwei Association will not give out candy for Halloween due to the renewed Ballsack Boys issue and other happenings.
ALERT: The ballsack boys have been spotted raiding abandoned L corp branches. We have recently caught them getting into a scuffle with some hooligans on a bus.
It appears the Ballsack boys have started their heinous syndicate again by kidnapping people living within nests. We advise you do not stay out past 6 and hire our services.
Hello. We have yet to find out who had posted this image. There are only two others who have access to the Association Twitter, and have confirmed that they have not taken this photo.
ALERT: 30% of the Spingly Creatures have been wiped out, but they keep multiplying. Districts 3-7, 18, and 24 have had parts of the backstreets overrun.
ALERT: We have spent the past few days too focused on the “Mariah Carey” situation. She is unbeatable. The head is currently making an attempt to get rid of her.
The Ballsack Boys have reportedly been going around nests and attempting to trigger distortions If you see any of their members lurking around, please report to your local Zwei Office.
ALERT: Finally, after months, we have officially located and destroyed the ‘Fish Machine’ distortion that was found to be in District 20. Be weary of any leftover large fish “swimming” across the streets near the oceans.
ALERT: There have been several instances of massive power outages within the Nest area District 14. Businesses and whole offices have temporarily been shut down due to this. We suspect the cause is due to a distortion.
ANNOUNCEMENT‼️:
After months of struggling, we are finally happy to announce that the Ballsack Boys are no more. Thank you everyone for cooperating and helping out in the fight to stop these criminals. Rest in peace the 12 Claws they sent and the thousands of fixers lost.
ALERT: An unknown Syndicate has recently been caught lacing sandwiches and other foods from the popular restaurant HamHamPangPang with a substance called “Enkephalin”. Report any suspicious persons to the Zwei and any contaminated goods to the restaurant’s employees.
ALERT: A relatively new Distortion called the “Lord of Dirt” has caused ~20 casualties in the backstreets of District 8. Be careful of blocked roads and unnoticeable mounds of rubble that may cause you to trip.
While we scramble to make another cake, we will allow you to ask us a couple of questions. It can be about how to get contracted with us or about how to hire us. Two questions per person.
ALERT: Do remember the possibly of escaped Abnormalities, creatures held within the branches of L Corp, could currently be roaming around the City. If an Abnormality is spotted, please report to the Seven Association and the Zwei Association. Thank you.
ALERT 🚨: A new distortion has manifested in District 5. It is believed that the Ballsack Boys have caused this event as the distortion resembles a ████████ ████████ ████
ALERT: A group of criminals called “The Guys who Steal your Stuff” have been stealing objects from houses within nests. If you live in District 13, 17 and 14, make sure to keep your belongings safe.
ALERT: Please be on the lookout for any odd fissures in the ground today. There have been weird “earthquakes” happening throughout districts 5, 4, and 7.
Okay, update on this account. I will not be leaving the projmoon community nor this account behind. Quite sad about the drama but I have hope that this situation will get better. I’ll still be on hiatus for a few days.
It has come to our attention that we have reached 15 followers. We would like to thank everyone here for supporting the Zwei Association. You better be staying safe.
As something special, we allow you to ask us one question
I would like to ask why you had marked this post as “violent”, as this post does not contain anything that is? Furthermore, do not post things such as this on the Association Twitter. The cake was fine (despite the rude comment you left), but this does not go here.
ALERT: We have received news that the Ballsack Boys and several other related syndicates are planning another mass office raid. They are targeting mainly Association-related offices. Be weary