Alcohol, Tobacco AND firearms? Leave my beer and cigarettes out of this.

Me and my boys are real hound dogs, we’ve got a clock counting down to when the Olsen Twins turn 100 🤤

The Beatles are a psy op to make you choose love over violent revolution

Love when I see a goth person at the gym. You ain’t that sad.

In 2013 you could tweet “I’m not snacking, I’m microdosing dinner” and you would immediately be given a development deal at NBC

Now the only “tik tok” is the sound of the clock winding down on your time to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior

Weird old guy in San Luis Obispo just told me I look 23. We’re so back.

Load this in 4K

*trying to relate to Bruce Springsteen* “Man, it’s so fucked up what they did to the Chicken Man”

RT @joekjoek: what's important is that this, my big pittsburgh show, is tonight at SUNKEN BUS on babcock blvd 7pm and also i've booted dann…

Me and the boys are headed to Bethlehem tonight to see if we can’t “no room at the inn” our way into some strange

Putting one of these in the garage so I can finally watch my adult films in peace

Hey man have a holly jolly Christmas and while you’re at it, why don’t you give your a wife a little kiss for me

Kids these days don’t even know how to till the soil in order to ensure a bountiful harvest

*after I make a suicide joke and my coworker doesn’t get it* yooo everybody check out this MFer, he doesn’t understand the poetic melancholy of existence lmao he’s never even felt the specter of death that hangs over our every moment 😂😂

“If you don’t like American then go somewhere else!” Ok dumbass but if I had enough money to go somewhere else then I’d probably like living in America

Belichick choosing a job somewhere his girlfriend can spend her senior year, don’t ever say romance is dead

Ok which one of you assholes stole my idea for the Bra Bus??