ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER
@ZODIAC_MF
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TO BE CLEAR: I DONT POST SHIT ON HERE TO BE CONTRADICTED. EVER. AS FAR AS THIS FEED IS CONCERNED MY WORD IS LAW. ITS BIGGER THAN LAW. ITS SCRIPTURE. SO IF YOU GOT NAYSAYING TO DO? IF YOU THINK ZODIAC IS FULL OF SHIT? TAKE IT TO THE BARTENDER. BECAUSE I DONT WANNA FUCKING HEAR IT
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WITHOUT SAYING HULK
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a large portion of cis white men who say Han Solo is their favorite character fundamentally misunderstand him as a person
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LEBOWSKI: AFTER 25 YEARS OF REGULAR VIEWINGS ONLY ON THE BIG SCREEN THE OTHER NIGHT DID I NOTICE THAT THE DUDE IS WEARING A BLACK ARMBAND FOR DONNY AT THE END
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LET ME GUESS: SHES A HARDCORE 2ND AMENDMENT CONSTITUTIONALIST?
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HAHAHA I KNOW THIS WILL COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU KIDS OUT THERE BUT THIS WHOLE DEAL WHERE YOU CAN PUBLICLY TALK SHIT ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYER AND FACE NO NEGATIVE REPERCUSSIONS WHATSOEVER IS A RATHER RECENT DEVELOPMENT IN THE HISTORY OF EMPLOYMENT
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THE NORTHMAN: THE MOVIE THAT DARES TO ASK "WHAT IF HAMLET WASNT SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY?"
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A FUCKING JOKER MOVIE GETTING THE MOST OSCAR NOMINATIONS LIKE ITS GODDAMN BEN-HUR. JESUS THIS JERKOFF CULTURE
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IMAGINE KNOWING OR GIVING A FUCK WHO ANY OF THESE ASSHOLES ARE
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TYRION: HE TRAVELED NORTH OF THE WALL YOU SEE. HE BECAME THE THREE-EYED RAVEN!
(THE LORDS STAND IN SILENCE. A DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE. THEN...)
LORD ROBIN ARRYN: WE DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS
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THE DEPTH OF FILM SCHOLARSHIP ON DISPLAY HERE IS STAGGERING
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HAHAHA JESUS CHRIST LADY YOU GOT A MASTERS DEGREE FROM FUCKING *HARVARD* AND YOU CANT MANAGE TO PAY OFF SOME CHICKENSHIT $55K STUDENT LOAN OVER TWO DECADES?
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@mrosati56
APPARENTLY IT FALLS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SHIPPING YOUR COUNTRYMEN TO NAZI DEATH CAMPS AND FORCING HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE TO COMMIT SUICIDE
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ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF MY COUNTRY. BEHOLD THE MAJESTY
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THE MOST REALISTIC DEPICTION OF POLICE IN THE LAST 50 YEARS
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JUST SOME TOP-NOTCH FILM SCHOLARSHIP HERE. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE UP AGAINST
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AVENGERS: ENDGAME
I DO LOVE THE PROBABLY ACCURATE NOTION THAT EPIC WOULD STILL BE BROWBEATING THEIR DEPLETED WORKFORCE INTO CRUNCHING OUT FORTNITE UPDATES FOR YEARS AFTER THANOS KILLED HALF THE FUCKING WORLD
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MAN JUST THINK OF ALL THE VIDEO GAMES PRESIDENT OBAMA CAN CATCH UP ON NOW. SKYRIM IS GONNA BLOW HIS MOTHERFUCKING MIND
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HEY ASSHOLES IM GETTING MARRIED. HOW ABOUT THAT SHIT
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"CLASSIC BOARD GAME" HAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST. WELL DONT KEEP US IN SUSPENSE YAHOO NEWS. IS IT MONOPOLY? OPERATION? PAYDAY?
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JUST BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND THAT PEOPLE A.) DISCUSS ART IN THIS FASHION B.) DISCUSS ART IN THIS FASHION SIGHT UNSEEN AND C.) SIT AROUND CONGRATULATING EACH OTHER ABOUT IT
Why the Joker movie is problematic. Rachel Miller nails it.
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FUCK THIS BRAT. THE LADY MAKING YOUR BLIZZARD AINT YOUR DANCING MONKEY YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER
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YEAH. BECAUSE IF EVER A GUY REFUSED TO CHAMPION BLACK AND ASIAN CINEMA ITS QUENTIN TARANTINO
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THIS LOOKS LIKE A DISGUISE YOUD PUT ON BEFORE COMMITTING A MURDER IN A BRIAN DE PALMA MOVIE
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THE SORT OF UNIQUE INSIGHT YOU CAN ONLY FIND IN EVERY FUCKING ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER MADE
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APPARENTLY THIS COLLEGE RELIGION PROFESSOR ONLY TEACHES 45-YEAR-OLDS
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HOLY SHIT A BOOTLEG BART SIMPSON SHIRT SPOTTED IN THE WILD LIKE ITS THE FUCKING GULF WAR
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THESE LAST JEDI DELETED SCENES HAHAHAHAHA WOW. NO TIME FOR THIS QUICK SCENE WHERE LUKE MOURNS HIS OLD PAL HAN BUT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR LUKE TO JERK OFF A SPACE WALRUS AND DRINK THE RESULTS
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JUST *IMAGINE* THE ASSHOLE WHO NECESSITATED THIS SIGN
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KINDA FUNNY THAT THE SONG MADONNA DID FOR JAMES BOND GETS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING *DESTROYED* BY THE SONG SHE DID FOR AUSTIN POWERS
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FUNNY HOW THE TOXIC INTERNET HATE ALWAYS SEEMS TO COINCIDE WITH THE OBJECT OF HATRED BEING A TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT
The Acolyte being cancelled is just another example of toxic internet hate. The show never got a chance to breathe and half the people hating on it never even watched an episode.
It’s not my favorite piece of Star Wars content but it certainly didn’t deserved to be axed.
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AND ALL THIS TALK ABOUT HOW SONICS REDESIGN SAVED THIS IMMACULATELY IDIOTIC MOVIE FROM FINANCIAL DISASTER IS HORSESHIT. KIDS ARE STUPID. THEYLL WATCH ANYTHING. A NATION OF STUNTED 42 YEAR OLD DORKS BITCHING THAT SONICS EYES SHOULD BE BIGGER DIDNT CHANGE A GODDAMN THING
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YEAH WELL CONSIDERING HE WAS PLAYING BOND DURING THE KENNEDY ADMINISTRATION AND WAS OLD AS *SHIT* IN THE UNTOUCHABLES 33 YEARS AGO IM NOT EXACTLY RACING OUT THE FUCKING DOOR TO GET MY EYES CHECKED
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ID LOVE TO SEE THEIR LITTLE FUCKING BAR GRAPHS ON WES ANDERSON MOVIES BECAUSE AS I RECALL THOSE ARENT EXACTLY STEEL MAGNOLIAS. AND AT LEAST TARANTINO NEVER DID SOME BULLSHIT SHORT FILM STARRING NATALIE PORTMANS NAKED ASS AS THE SOLE DRAW
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WATCHED ROCKY WITH MY FAMILY LAST NIGHT. TWO VERY DIFFERENT RESPONSES
KID: (RUNS AROUND THE HOUSE HUMMING GONNA FLY NOW AND SHADOWBOXING)
WIFE: Was Rocky supposed to be developmentally disabled?
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FROM THE EVER-BOURGEONING "JUST BECAUSE ITS NEWS TO YOU DOESNT MEAN ITS FUCKING NEWS" FILE COMES THIS BREAKING UPDATE ABOUT A MOVIE FROM THE FUCKING TRUMAN ADMINISTRATION
Uh, yeah, so it turns out that 'It's A Wonderful Life', a movie where a man seriously contemplates suicide, may not be the delightful holiday romp we remember.
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THE WIRE BY SEASON:
COPS ARE AWESOME
UNIONS ARE LAZY AND CORRUPT
FREE MARKETS SOLVE EVERYTHING
PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE HELL ON EARTH
JOURNALISM IS LIES
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HAHAHAHA START DRAFTING THAT APOLOGY FELLAS
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DUDE COMES UP TO ME ASKING WHAT MAKES ME CRY AND WHAT SONGS I LOVE IM GONNA ASSUME IM IN THE WRONG BAR
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HOWS EDGAR WRIGHT DOING ON THE OL BECHDEL TEST? GOSH THAT SURE WAS AN EMPOWERING STRONG FEMALE ROLE FOR LILY JAMES IN BABY DRIVER (STARRING KEVIN SPACEY!) WASNT IT? CUTE ADORING WAITRESS WHO EXISTS SOLELY TO PLEASE OUR DIPSHIT HERO. MUST BE MERYL STREEP WAS BUSY
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MY ONLY WISH FOR THE MUSK REGIME IS THAT HE IMMEDIATELY DOES AWAY WITH THIS KINDERGARTEN BULLSHIT
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NO IDEA HOW ANCIENT MAN WAS ALL HUNTING AND GATHERING BUCK FUCKING NAKED DICKS JUST LOLLING OUT THERE UNPROTECTED. JESUS CHRIST WHEN IM NAKED I REGARD AN OPEN DRESSER DRAWER WITH THE SAME FEAR AND RESPECT I WOULD A GODDAMN TABLESAW
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ANY TIME I WATCH A PERIOD DRAMA ABOUT A BUNCH OF FUSSY UPPER-CRUST ASSHOLES I THINK ABOUT HOW EVERYTHING BACK THEN SMELLED LIKE SHIT. SWEAT STINKING MOTHERFUCKERS IS NINE LAYERS OF CLOTHES. TOOTH-ROT HALITOSIS EVERYWHERE. HORSE PISS RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS. REVOLTING
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I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT THIS ASSHOLES DEAL IS. *BOX OFFICE* OR NOT IF YOURE UPSET THAT SOMEONE DARED TO FINANCE A SCORSESE MOVIE (AND A FANTASTIC SCORSESE MOVIE AT THAT) THEN FUCK YOU MAN. GO BE AN ACCOUNTANT. YOUR OPINIONS ON ART ARE BENEATH CONSIDERATION
Apple's KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON has grossed $67M domestic, $89M overseas and $156M worldwide on a $200M budget.
The reality is, Scorsese films can't justifiably be greenlighted by traditional studios with price tags of this nature.
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"WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT SCENE?!" IS ALMOST ALWAYS THE SIGNIFIER OF A STONE DUMBASS. MOOD? COLOR? CHARACTERIZATION? AESTHETICS? HUMOR? SUSPENSE? TENSION? ALL LOST ON THESE IDIOTS
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ITS A DONE DEAL BY THE WAY. IM OFFICIALLY A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN. I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ASSHOLES DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT
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A TERM I USE WHEN DISCUSSING MOVIES WITH MY KID IS "REAL HELICOPTERS." IF A MOVIE HAS REAL HELICOPTERS ITS AWESOME AND IF A MOVIE HAS CGI HELICOPTERS IT AUTOMATICALLY SUCKS. BUT IT SEEMS THE PHRASE HAS UTILITY BEYOND LITERAL HELICOPTERS. HE DESCRIBED NOLAN AS "REAL HELICOPTERS"
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DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTITUDE OF BULLSHIT: HAD A LAUGH WHEN THERE WAS A FAN-SERVICE CAMEO BY AN INCREDIBLY WACK MARVEL CHARACTER PLAYED BY AN INCREDIBLY WACK-ASS ACTOR AND THIS DORK FUCKING SELLOUT CROWD OF 40-SOMETHING DOLL COLLECTORS WENT APESHIT LIKE ELVIS JUST HIT THE STAGE
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YEAH. CRAZY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMETHING DOESNT FUCKING SUCK
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A LONG-HELD RULE THAT HAS BEEN LOST IN OUR MORONICALLY SELF-CENTERED CULTURE: IF YOU HAVE A GOOD THING GOING? *SHUT THE FUCK UP* ABOUT IT. DONT GO RUBBING OTHER PEOPLES FACES INTO YOUR SWEET DEAL
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THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED ON THIS MISERABLE FUCKING WEBSITE
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KILL DORK CULTURE. KILL IT FUCKING DEAD
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HAHAHA JESUS CHRIST I KNOW WE GOTTA SAY "SEX WORKER" THESE DAYS SO WE DONT HURT SOME FUCKING CAM-GIRLS FEELINGS BUT MAYBE WE SHOULDNT APPLY IT TO 12 YEAR OLD RUNAWAYS GETTING PIMPED OUT
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AND THE DICKHEADED PARENTS WHO THINK ITS COOL TO POST VIDEO OF SOME INNOCENT SERVICE WORKER BECAUSE SHE SHUT DOWN THEIR LITTLE ANGEL SHOULD BE DRAGGED THROUGH THE STREETS BY HORSES. GARBAGE BEHAVIOR
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HAHAHAHA SEXUAL HARASSMENT ALLEGATIONS. YEAH NEVER MIND THE FUCKING *STACKS OF CORPSES* OVER THERE
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THE FACT THAT THIS POST GOT 46K LIKES WHILE THE MOVIE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TANKED TELLS YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TWITTER
Last night I snuck in and sat in the back of a sold out theater playing BROS in LA. The audience howled with laughter start to finish, burst into applause at the end, and some were wiping away tears as they walked out. It was truly magical. Really. I am VERY proud of this movie.
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OH ITS *CRINGE*? ITS SO *CRINGE* NOW? WHY DONT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES LEARN HOW TO WRITE LIKE ADULTS
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SICK OF ALL THESE MOVIES ABOUT RICH SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. I WANNA SEE BROKE ASSHOLES WHO COME FROM NOTHING AND END UP WITH NOTHING AND JUST FUCK UP AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND DONT LEARN SHIT
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HAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST I WOULDNT LIFT MY HEAD OFF MY FUCKING PILLOW FOR TWENTY DOLLARS
IGN is looking for new freelancers to assist with the daily flow of stories in games, entertainment, tech, and science. $20 base rate per story. Sliding scale for heavier reporting. DM with an introduction and portfolio for details!
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JESUS THIS CROWD. DEATH WISH IS LIKE THE REDNECK BLACK PANTHER
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HAHAHAHA JESUS LADY YOU WHEELED YOUR BRAIN-DAMAGED CLINICALLY DEPRESSED HUSBAND AROUND ON A FUCKING DOLLY FROM STAGE TO STAGE ALL SO HE COULD WIN OFFICE THEN DUMPED HIM IN A HOSPITAL FOR MONTHS. BUT YOU DONT CARE ABOUT POWER
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YEARS LATER STILL BUMMED OUT ABOUT GANDOLFINIS DEATH. HERE HE IS BEING THE BEST PART OF KILLING ME SOFTLY AND LOOKING LIKE GORILLA MONSOON
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REMEMBER WHEN TERRIBLE FANTASY MOVIES LIKE RESIDENT EVIL AND AEON FLUX AND UNDERWORLD WOULD COME OUT AND NOBODY HAD TO PRETEND THEY WERE ANYTHING BUT DOGSHIT? TRULY A MORE CIVILIZED TIME
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NOTHING MORE DEPRESSING THAN LOOKING OUT YOUR HOTEL WINDOW AND SEEING A BUNCH OF SQUAT SUBURBAN-SPRAWL OFFICE BUILDINGS. IMAGINE THE MISERY THATS ACCUMULATED IN THESE PLACES OVER THE YEARS. ALL THE RANCID LUNCH FRIDGES AND QUIET DESPERATION. SOMEDAY ITLL BE A FUCKING PET SEMATARY
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AMUSINGLY THIS ARTICLE USES THE VERY PHOTO THAT WAS INCORPORATED INTO THE POSTERS
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I WANNA DIG UP THE CORPSE OF C.S. LEWIS AND MAKE HIM READ THIS SHIT
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YOU KNOW WHATS WEIRD IS HOW GEORGE LUCAS MADE UP SOME HORSESHIT ABOUT A KESSEL RUN BACK WHEN GERALD FORD WAS IN OFFICE AND FOUR FUCKING DECADES LATER WE GOTTA WATCH A MOVIE ABOUT IT
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