I: "Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Making an enemy of our own future. What we need is harmony. Fresh air. Stuff like that."

Monty: "Buy the wellingtons. I'm going to go and buy some razors and some shaving soap. I'll see you overe there in half an hour."

Danny: "It is impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less."

Monty: "It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonable says to himself"

Withnail: "French!?"

Withnail: "Chin-chin."

Withnail: "Good night, Monty."

I: "What are you doing in my bed?"

Jake: "Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you and wake you up with a live one."

Withnail: "I'll miss you, too. Chin-chin."

Withnail: "Stop."

Withnail: "It's perfectly alright. Leave him to me."

I: "We're early."

Jake: "Ah, he knows. Eh, give us a wheeze on that fag."

Monty: "Oh my dear boy! If I'd known that, I'd never have attempted to come between you."

I: "What are you talking about?"

I: "I've no idea. I've never met him."

Withnail: "Would you like a drink?"

I: "Don't look, don't look. I'm dealing with it."

Withnail: "Confiscated it from Monty's supplies. `53 Margaux. Best of the century. I'm sure he wouldn't resent us a parting drink."