William Ury
@WilliamUryGTY
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Author, Negotiator + Mediator, Anthropologist, Speaker. Founder, Abraham Path Initiative + Co-Founder, Harvard Program on Negotiation. Helping People Get to Yes
Joined April 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Delighted to announce the release of my book POSSIBLE: How We Survive & Thrive in an Age of Conflict. Conflicts are made by humans; they can be changed by humans. If we can transform our conflicts, we can transform our lives. Link:
#Possibilist
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Wonderful new children's book on conflict resolution by my colleague Josh Weiss is now available!
@jweiss21
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Humbled and delighted to see what the President is reading this weekend. May it help open a world of possibilities!
#Possibilist
#PossibleBook
President Biden's weekend reading appears to be “Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict" by
@WilliamUryGTY
.
Harper Collins describes it as "an essential guide for anyone looking to break through the toughest conflicts."
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Peace accord signed today in
#Colombia
. I feel deeply moved, humbled, and privileged to have witnessed and contributed to the process.
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Many thanks to Tim Ferriss for having me on his podcast - it was a pleasure to discuss my new book, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict. If you'd like to listen, look up "The Tim Ferriss Show Episode
#721
" on your preferred platform. Enjoy!
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An effective negotiator cultivates empathy, patience, and creativity.
#negotiation
#GettingToYes
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We can’t end conflict but we can transform it. My new article in Time discusses how we can navigate these stormy times.
#PossibleBook
#Possibilist
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#GettingToYesWithYourself
is a daily practice. Every day, we have the opportunity to change our internal stance from win-lose to win-win.
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Become a “reflective negotiator"- someone who learns everyday from their experiences and applies the art of continuous improvement.
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Successful negotiators rarely use threats because they tend to have a backlash effect, making the other side more aggressive or defensive.
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In the middle of conflict, our greatest superpower is to choose to stop and stop to choose. You can read more in my latest
@PsychToday
article:
#Possibilist
#PossibleBook
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How do we avoid civil war in this country? Check out
@vanjones68
's podcast
#UncommonGround
to hear my answer based on 45 years of experience transforming some of the world's most difficult conflicts
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An effective negotiator cultivates empathy, patience, and creativity.
#negotiation
#GettingToYes
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A good negotiator is capable of keeping 2 different perspectives in their head at once: that of their own side and that of the other side.
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Even difficult emotions can be part of good
#negotiation
if you find a way to express them clearly and cleanly without attacking the other.
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The least expensive and most valuable concession you can make in a
#negotiation
is to respect the other side's dignity.
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Today the world got to YES on the Green Grid — the project with possibly the greatest potential to solve the climate crisis and increase the quality of life for every human being on earth. Now let’s make it happen!
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One more step to peace in
#Colombia
: the guerrillas travel to special zones to disarm and reintegrate.
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The cheapest concession and the most valuable move you can make in negotiation are the same: it is to listen.
#negotiation
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Spend the first half of
#negotiation
not bargaining, but simply building rapport, exploring the problem, & learning from one another.
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When resolving a conflict, remember there may be limits to tangible resources, but there are few limits to human creativity.
#negotiation
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No more important challenge faces the U.S. than
#GettingToYes
with China to avert falling into Thucydides’ trap.
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A mistake is only temporary; the failure to learn is permanent. An openness to learning is what makes a great negotiator.
#negotiation
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Know your BATNA. A good alternative for satisfying interests, helps you to better deal with the fear of failure.
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It is no coincidence that effective negotiators listen far more than they talk.
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Self-observation is the foundation for self-mastery. Self-observation if practiced daily can help to keep us from reacting.
#negotiation
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#Negotiating
based on interests generally produces better agreements & better relationships than merely battling over opposed positions.
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I’ve been distilling lessons from 45 years of working in the world’s most difficult conflicts. Last Fall I shared the secret of BB3 with leaders at the N-conference. How to go the balcony, build a golden bridge and activate the third side?
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Don’t treat
#negotiation
as a fixed pie in which you can only win at the expense of the other. Expand the pie first before you divide it up.
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The least expensive and most valuable concession you can make in
#negotiation
is to respect the other side's dignity.
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Our challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it; from coercion to consent and from force to mutual interest.
#negotiation
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Effective negotiators are tough on the problem while remaining soft on the people.
#negotiation
#GettingToYes
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The biggest opportunity in
#negotiation
? Invent options for mutual gain. Some of the best ideas in the world started off as wild ideas.
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The foundation of effective
#negotiation
is the ability to “Go to the Balcony.”
#GettingToYes
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Successful negotiators probe behind positions for the real underlying interests.
#GettingToYes
#Negotiation
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Everyone negotiates something every day. Here are some tips to improve your skills:
#negotiation
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Listen more than you talk. Listen to understand, not refute. Listen from within their frame of reference.
#negotiation
#listening
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Behind-the-scenes negotiating lessons from historic
#Colombia
peace deal we can apply in our lives.
@MichaelSchulder
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The secret to
#peace
is us - the surrounding community in any conflict - this is the Third Side.
#negotiation
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Looking forward to being tomorrow’s guest speaker at Creative Mornings NYC!
@NewYork_CM
#GettingToYes
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In peace the product depends on process. Big step for Colombia by listening to critics & seeking broadest consensus
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In principled
#negotiation
focus on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards to reach a wise agreement
#GettingToYes
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By changing our inner game, we can change the outer game to produce mutual satisfaction and healthy relationships.
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Our challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it; from coercion to consent and from force to mutual interest.
#negotiation
0
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In
#negotiation
keep your eyes on the prize so that you don’t get mad and you don’t get even; you get what you want.
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Big step to ending last war in this hemisphere. Elated for Colombians who have never known their country without war
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If the
#negotiation
is difficult, break the cycle of attacking and rejecting by surprising your counterpart with respect.
#GettingToYes
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#Negotiation
tip: Listen before you talk. See if you can hear the other side out before you express yourself.
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Dealing with seeming impossible conflicts? I’m excited to be featured at the N-Conference on October 6th, 2022 - a forum dedicated to addressing the most difficult 5% of negotiations - so we can all get to Yes in these challenging times
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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ~ Lao Tzu
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Effective negotiators cultivate listening & empathy.
Whether negotiating with kids or adults - same skills apply.
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Our challenge is not eliminate conflict but to transform it; from coercion to consent and from force to mutual interest.
#negotiation
0
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#Negotiation
jujitsu means breaking the vicious cycle of escalation by refusing to react.
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Colombia plebiscite result is setback, but process will go on. Time to go to balcony- be creative. Main thing is everyone agrees to end war.
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Successful negotiators find that they listen far more than they talk.
#negotiation
#GettingToYesWithYourself
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If you plan to be at SXSW, I warmly invite you to a talk about my latest book, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict.
📅 March 9, 2024
🕒 10AM CT
📍 Austin Convention Center, Room 10AB
Book signing to follow in room 10C!
#SXSW
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In principled
#negotiation
the participants are problem solvers.
The goal is a wise outcome reached efficiently and amicably
#GettingToYes
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We succeeded brilliantly at independence. Can we now succeed at interdependence?
#negotiation
#GettingToYes
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Nobel Peace Prize given today for peace in Colombia. If we can now end war in one hemisphere, why not in both?
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I wrote POSSIBLE to pass on what I’ve learned about how to transform seemingly impossible conflicts. Surreal and humbling to see my book in the hands of the US President. Thank you
@cnni
for a great interview:
#PossibleBook
#Possibilist
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Learning to Get To Yes starts in the classroom:
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In
#negotiation
if one side tries to win at the other’s expense, both sides usually end up losing.
#GettingToYes
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The Third Side – our most ancient method for changing the game from confrontation to
#cooperation
:
#negotiation
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Congrats to Colombian president Santos for his Nobel Peace Prize! Peace is a process not just an outcome.
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Today Colombian peace negotiators reached historic agreement that ends 50 year civil war inspiring hope for humanity
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Honesty pays off since high-trust relationships are most likely to produce optimum deals.
#negotiation
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Perhaps the most important competence that we need in today’s turbulent times is the competence of
#negotiation
.
#GettingToYes
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Warm congratulations to President Santos and the Colombian people for the Nobel Peace Prize!
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We negotiate every day - whether it’s in the workplace or figuring out whose turn it is to cook dinner. I discussed this on WPIX - You can watch the segment here:
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The Power of a Positive No - Learn how to say "No" and increase your happiness. Here are some tips:
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The secret of peace is us, it’s our oldest human heritage - the Third Side:
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Thanks to Harvard and the PON team for hosting me for a virtual talk on Tuesday to share about my upcoming book, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict, out Feb. 20th. To those that missed it, you can watch the recording here: . Enjoy!
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Change the game—from face-to-face confrontation to side-by-side joint problem-solving.
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Be prepared for
#negotiation
by first, knowing what you really want. List your underlying interests in the order of priority.
#GettingToYes
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By showing respect, we are more likely to receive respect. By accepting, we are more likely to be accepted.
#negotiation
#GettingToYes
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The least expensive and most valuable concession you can make in a negotiation is to respect the other side's dignity.
#negotiation
0
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Great example of thinking outside the box to find a creative win-win solution in
#negotiation
.
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How do you negotiate with fear? Cultivate intuition, perspective, & self-trust to not let fear get the best of you
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It was a real learning experience going “behind the scenes” with
@KevinMillerco
on his podcast,
#WhatDrivesYou
, to discuss what motivated me to do conflict and negotiation work. Listen to the first episode:
#Possibilist
#PossibleBook
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When you see an obstacle, look for the possibilities and use your natural human potential to begin to change the situation bit by bit. Thank you,
@JohnBaldoni
, for capturing the spirit of Possible:
#PossibleBook
#Possibilist
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