Delighted to announce the release of my book POSSIBLE: How We Survive & Thrive in an Age of Conflict. Conflicts are made by humans; they can be changed by humans. If we can transform our conflicts, we can transform our lives. Link: #Possibilist

"Listening is the cheapest concession you can make. It costs you nothing. And it means everything to the other side." Thank you to Valor Econômico for the front page interview, "Getting to Yes in a Polarized World":

Such a pleasure to appear as a guest on DisrupTV this week. You can catch the interview here: #Possibilist

It might feel like you are alone in a situation where there's conflict. It's important to remember that when there's a complex situation, there is always a team and community of people around to help.

“Breakthrough negotiation is the art of letting the other person have your way.” — Many thanks to my good friend, John Sturrock, for the kind words about POSSIBLE in the Scotsman.

Even in the most dire of conflicts, each of us can exercise our power to stop and choose. Instead of being reactive, we can be proactive. Instead of being our own worst enemy, we can become our greatest ally.

When something tragic happens, the most important thing a leader can do is listen.

Possible does not mean a neat resolution. More often, it means gradual improvements in relationships that, over time, can make a difference.

What are my three takeaways? Go to the balcony, build a golden bridge, and engage the third side. Many thanks to Lynn Thoman for a fanstastic conversation on her podcast, 3 Takeaways - you can listen to the episode here:

The cheapest concession you can make, the one that costs you the least and yields the most, is simply to listen.

While we can't end all conflict, it is almost always possible to transform conflict - changing its form from destructive fighting into constructive negotiation. Thank you to Joe Hirsch for having me on "I Wish They Knew":

Asking an open-ended question like, “Can you help me understand what happened here? How can I help?” is an essential tool. Read more:

Whether or not we realize it, we are all constantly negotiating. A big thank you to Gene Hammett for an enlightening conversation on Growth Think Tank:

How can we make conflict less destructive? 

I really enjoyed discussing some of the most memorable negotiations I’ve participated in with Jenn Williams on the Negotiators Podcast earlier this year. You can listen to the full episode here:

“Conflict is natural, part of life itself, and it can be perfectly healthy. The best decisions result not from a superficial consensus but from surfacing different points of view and searching for creative solutions.”

In conflict situations, we tend to fall into the "three A's trap" - we attack, avoid or appease. The antidote is to resist attacking, embrace the conflict and transform it by proposing ways where both sides can win.

Positions are the concrete things we say we want. Interests are the underlying motivations. Thank you to @cnieuwhof for hosting me on the podcast:

Do we need more conflict at work? Read more:

Conflict has become a growth industry. How do we navigate it?

“Listening is one of the most underrated instruments of influence we have.” You can listen to my full interview with HBR Ideacast here: