Mr Yeast
@William45589421
Followers
5K
Following
14K
Media
2K
Statuses
18K
Trying to provide alternate sources of power with bread one loaf of bread at a time
Breadsall, England
Joined May 2023
It won’t be long until people start 3D printing nipples for mostly no reason.
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@Unexplained2020 “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom.
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@romcomarchive They’ll save the rom com genre like no one else and I don’t know what I’m talking about.
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@QuotesSimpsons1 20 something seasons later and I still wonder what he said to Mabel instead.
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@BadMedicalTakes Disciplining your pancreatic flow can reduce diabetes by raising penis melatonin.
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@TheEcho13 You’ll be a barely functioning great grandmother which is mostly out of your control. How’s that?.
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Did you ever notice that some things are like other things?.
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This week I’m going to be a low budget electrician for a Hot Yoga studio. I might stretch out the job to get acquainted with this beautiful baguette. (P.S the croissant is fine).
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Just found mold on my ass. Death is catching up and I must prolong my shelf life. This week I will go down the longevity route and slow breadtropy.
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@DrJackKruse On a somewhat related note this person did a good job summarizing eye health with the 2017 Vermont talk.
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My account was wrongfully suspended and reinstated after 11 hours. The post?.User: something something want more say in the nuptials .Mr Yeast: Maybe if your marry yourself you’ll have more of a say.Porn and violence is alright btw though 🤦.
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This week a method actor will shadow me cause I’m an inventor. He’s gonna play Nikolas Tesla in a Lifetime Christmas special (supposedly). He said he will be non invasive but will watch me sleep.
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I found out the hard way. a windbreaker doesn’t stop a fart.
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Yes I was involved with a breadstitute. I want to beat the journalist to the punch before a hit piece. This holiday week I will try to forgive my poor judgment and fight the reporters.
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@BadMedicalTakes Disagree here’s an antidote. My friends grandma had big boobs that scraped the ground. One day she got drunk and took her top off and sat on the sit n spin. Well when she spun her boobs went everywhere knocking the cat out the window and the paintings off the wall.
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I actually don’t write any of my X posts, I just login on a laptop at Best Buy and walk away. It’s a group effort.
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20 years later these Target dinosaur eggs are finally hatching
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I just want the news to be reported with interpretive dance.
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What if the queen bee is stupid, what happens to the hive? (Not trying to be metaphorical, just asking about bees).
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This week I’m taking a break from two months of adventures like trying to get Scatman John in the Hall Of Fame and falsifying an identity to get my TED Talk through. Anyway don’t worry cause I’m handing my account over to my Grandpa for now. Thanks Grandpa.
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My grandpa tried to set the record straight but it played Elton John.
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My engineering mentor is in jail and said “If there’s anything that happens to me you can communicate with me through telepathy”. So this week I must read up and try all I can to get him free. Where he’s at and what he did is still a mystery.
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No joke, my local porn shop has a “Now hiring all positions” sign. I know I’m not the first person to drive by and notice or post.
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Men’s tears would be so valuable that you could trade a jar of them for a horse but since Coldplay made us cry more I can’t make a buck.
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I actually didn’t storm the Capitol I just had to go to the bathroom really bad.
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Maybe I’m just another brick in the wall until the Kool-Aid man shows up.
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It finally happened!! I was asleep and I became someone’s snack!! This week I must recover and prevent the stomach acids from being my further death!!
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I spoke at the Constipation Conference but nobody gave a shit.
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It wasn’t easy but me and my stalkers have built a following.
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Attempt 14. I will try to lucid dream with this image in mind.
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Wow I started this Twitter account a year ago and since then because of it I’ve been contacted by the FBI, got divorced, have dogs look at me strangely and been unknowingly in charge of the SEC of Venezuela. So thanks for the all the interactions🙏🫡.
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These binaural beats promised telepathy but it’s just making me remote view some guy trying on pants in Pakistan. How do you control the signal?😡.
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I told Genghis I feel for you but I didn’t want to shock a Khan.
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Embarrassing, here’s me at an Alice In Grains concert. They said I blocked the good part of the stage.
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@Unexplained2020 Sorry I failed the quiz Teacher, the Alaskan pyramid was suppressing my consciousness again😞.
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In the 70s Grimace sued the band Deep Purple for stealing his old pornstar name.
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@HomersBestBits Imagining people hearing Dan’s voice recording Homer and not knowing what was going on in the sessions lol.
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Years ago I called animal control on Cookie Monster because he looked like a hipster cub from the distance.
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If only your left arm can travel back in time would it be worth it?.
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In the 40s they used asbestos as fake snow in movies. Fact.
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Thanks for the 3000 follows but I have a suspicion that you are all ducks😬😬
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I asked if I can stay in my car when I get the oil changed and it worked.
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Don’t try to change the world if you don’t have a big enough diaper.
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@Simpsons_tweets Recently Al Jean shared a link that all the movie clips of McBain are connected. When I’m not lazy I’ll see the movie.
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I can’t wait to make ad revenue in two years so I can coast on asking lame questions😎💰🏄🏻♂️.
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The detective I hired promised the dicking of a lifetime and I thought that meant he’d find my bike easy ahhh🏃🏻♂️.
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No magazine was more misleading than the Readers Digest. I must have ate that magazine 8 times.
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Attempt 3. I will try to lucid dream with this image in mind.
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What celebrity would you feel comfortable taking a crap in front of?.
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“My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future” - Jonathan Safran Foer
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Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,.If you’re not, here is a chicken
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