Cath🦋
@WidowHouse
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she/her. wandering through widowhood instagram @andthisisgrief . in my other life I write about Baseball @CathQCT lucky to be loved by the amazing @sextonpcs
Canada
Joined September 2017
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Today would have been 22 years married. You have now been gone as long as our 11 years we had to celebrate together. We’re all ok and even happy. The love and missing of your presence today will always be there. Happy Anniversary Kev x
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It’s that time of year… I’m waking at all times of the night, the unsettled feeling is back. November 8 will be 10 years without you and my body knew it before my brain did x
#grief
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Happy birthday Kev..we love and miss you every day. You’d be so proud of these three, they are fantastic humans we created x
#forever41
#grief
#birthdaysfrombeyond
#lastbirthdayphoto
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11 years. 11 years of living without you. 11 years of missed milestones of our children. 11 years of experiences we didn’t get to have. 11years since I held you as you took your last breath. 11years. My heart hurts today. We love and miss you every day Kev x
#grief
#kidsgrief
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I am not a single parent. I am an ONLY parent and that one word makes a world of difference.
#thiswidowedlife
#itsallonme
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My brother died 9 years ago today. I miss him like it was just yesterday we were laughing over dinner. I miss you Kenny x
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My oldest has been accepted into every uni he’s applied to, 2 offering scholarships. Losing his dad at 8 yrs old, he’s struggled with grief for most of his childhood. His dreams didn’t die though…and he’s rocking this live life thing x
#proudmum
#thekidsareok
#soloparenting
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Grief has taught me to love better, to say the words often, to use my actions to show it.. all the things that seem to come naturally to this guy. I am so very loved, and I feel it every day x
#loveafterloss
#lovebetter
#griefandlovecoexist
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I seriously just fixed my hot tub.. found the leak and replaced the part. I just turned it on and nothing blew up. I am officially a badass widow.
#thiswidowedlife
#ivegotthis
#sometimes
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My amazing child …on his way to prom …wearing his dad’s tie ❤️
#takingdadwithhim
#thekidsalright
#kidsgrief
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He made an amazing dinner, and picked up all the fixings for ice cream sundaes. All to honour a man he didn’t know on his birthday. For me. For my children. P, you are a gift and the kids and I are so lucky to have you loving us the way you do x
#loveafterloss
#grief
#grateful
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@ProudResister
Looking in from Canada, it’s scary to see that all the checks and balances put in place to protect the people don’t really work. Makes me afraid of the same thing happening up here :(
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I miss you everyday, but sometimes I miss the me I was before you died..
#thiswidowedlife
#imdifferentnow
#wouldyoulovemestill
?
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Losing Kev taught me so much about loving someone, being present, and being grateful for time spent. The gift of loving P is something I’ll never take for granted x
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I miss having someone who knew all my demons and insecurities and loved me anyways..
#thiswidowedlife
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My mom died this morning. I’m in shock and shattered all at once…. 💔
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He loves me so well, giving me space to clear out a forgotten drawer, quietly coming to ask if I’m alright, not trying to fix my sadness but gently supporting instead. He gets that I can love him with all my heart and still grieve the love lost. That is priceless x
#griefandlove
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@DGBassani
Please make sure you talk to the school about how to handle Mother’s Day. Oldest didn’t want to be told to do it for grandpa or an uncle, middle wanted to still make something for dad and youngest didn’t want to do it at all.. the conversation has been needed every year x
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My first love. 30 years in between first dates, a devastating death, a divorce, 5 beautiful children between us, lots of life happened and I finally feel like I’m home.
#grief
#love
#loveafterloss
#blessed
#hesmyperson
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Just found this cleaning out an old shed..tucked in between his camping gear and halloween stuff. Genuine happiness in a photo. I miss him.
#thiswidowedlife
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I am going to see my widowed group tonight. I am so very loved by P and he knows how much I love him back but this did not erase my widowhood, nor does it stop the pain of grief from rearing it’s ugly head. I need to ride the wave with those that get it. Normalize this x
#grief
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I just booked a trip to Jamaica..it was next on Kev’s list to take the boys. We’ve been on other vacations, but it’s taken me 6 years to book what would’ve been our next family vacay. It’ll be his birthday. Hoping joy fills the space of the missing x
#thiswidowedlife
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Love after loss is scary. I love P more than I thought possible after my heart was shattered by Kev’s death. His love lights my world, and I’m doing everything I can to not let the “knowing” that the widowed have, creep in and cloud the joy…
#loveafterloss
#whenyouknowyouknow
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I am happier than I thought possible. He is my person, I love him more each day and he makes me deliriously happy. This doesn’t erase my widowhood. He understands these 2 things will coexist and live side by side and that’s everything
#grief
#love
#joyandsadness
#coexisting
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Today would have been 19 years... thank you for loving me until death did us part x
#tjiswidowedlife
#idstillsayyes
#longlivelove
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This kid graduated with honours today! Such a happy moment that is always mired with the thought that his dad should be here to see this. We miss you Kev, your kid’s alright x
#wearingdadswatch
#joyandgrief
#proudmum
#kidsgrief
#thekidsarealright
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Today would have been my 21st wedding anni and it is also my love’s birthday. I’ve taken it as a sign that Kev wants it to be a happy day again. It has been a sad day for 9 years and now it’s back to celebrations. As it should be. #
#griefiscomplicated
#griefandjoycoexist
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I miss having that someone who knew all of my secrets and loved me anyway......
#thiswidowedlife
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Happy winter solstice to all of my grieving friends. Soon the light will creep in and stay longer, I promise x
#darkandlight
#griefandjoy
#coexisting
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Talking to a wid sister of mine about how I was tired of making decisions, even on what to make the kids for dinner.... half hour later dinner was delivered to my door just to take it off my plate.
#lovemytribe
#wesupporteachother
#widsarethebestpeeps
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11yrs ago you forced yourself to go to Cirque D’Eloise, despite the pain and inability to walk. You wanted to give the kids another memory.I didn’t think you’d make it, but you did.We just didn’t know then you only had 6 days left earthside. They remember x
#missyouKev
#grief
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My little miracle is 8 today. I was 4 months prego when his dad got sick and talking to him in my belly kept me sane. His impending presence kept his dad in the fight longer than they said possible...and he was in Kev’s arms the day he was born... I love you so much kid ❤️
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I’m falling in love. Is it weird that the thought in my head right now is, please let me go first this time?
#grief
#loveafterloss
#itscomplicated
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My kid was stressing about basketball tryouts in hs, so with his dad gone I took him to practice myself in a gym with a net. Hours of blocking, passing, dribbling and shooting ensued.. today he made the first cut and I almost feel like I’ve got this..
#thiswidowedlife
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Happy one year anniversary my love.. one down, a thousand or so to go please x
#loveafterloss
#loveyourpeople
#griefandjoycoexist
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I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of leaving them. There is a difference, and this difference changes the way I do things on the daily..
#thiswidowedlife
#stayinghealthy
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This picture fell at my feet while walking towards the front door today... I don’t know where it came from or where it was hiding but I love it even through my tears...
#imissyou
#sodothey
#thiswidowedlife
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Today would be been our 20th anniversary. You kept the promise you made that day and loved me to your last breath, and for that I am so very grateful. I wish we’d had more time. I love you Kev.
#grief
#longlivelove
#imissyou
#thekidsmissyoutoo
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This holiday I will
#saytheirname
Let’s let our loved be the ones trending ❤️ Kevin Stem, loving husband and father x
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It’s 50 trips around the sun today, first time without my parents but there’s so much love.. it’s still there and I feel full x
#birthdaylove
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He promised to love me until my last breath and as I witnessed that breath I realized he had kept his promise. This is why, depite the awfulness of grief, I still believe in love.
#thiswidowedlife
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I miss you da, I can’t believe it’s been a year already. It still feels like yesterday x
#grief
#tumemanques
#youaremissingfromme
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My beautiful mum.. first Mother’s Day without you tomorrow but you’re missed every day and loved always x
#MothersDay
#motherlessdaughter
#grief
#imissyou
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Today is one of those days when I simply miss having my person...
#thiswidowedlife
#griefboomerang
#itgoesandcomesback
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Giving up our master bedroom so the kids sharing could have more space made me feel widowed the most. Today I get the room back as the oldest moves into the downstairs room built especially for him. It’s a good day.
#grief
#itsthelittlethings
#stepsforward
#breathingspace
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8 years ago it was a Thursday. This year it’s Sunday. The fear, the panic, the waking every 45 minutes tells me when it’s coming no matter what day of the week it falls on. I’m still just learning to ride the wave x
#thiswidowedlife
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Six years ago today, on a Thursday, you died in my arms and all the love in my heart is silently slipping out of my eyes and down my face. We love and miss you Every. Damned. Day.
#thiswidowedlife
#ihatetoday
#saytheirname
#Kevin
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Our first Christmas without Kev was hard. He died 6 weeks before but already had gifts wrapped with labels in his handwriting for me and the kids under our bed. It made Christmas morning heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time x
#thiswidowedlife
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I lost my earring today. Kev gave them to me the day I gave birth to our 2nd child. I’ve worn them everyday since. 12 years. I’m so very sad... with him gone it is truly irreplaceable 😢
#thiswidowedlife
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My uncle died suddenly last Thursday. Family are flying in from everywhere. The funeral is Saturday. I’ll admit I’m scared of it.. this is only the beginning for my aunt and their kids and that thought is crushing.
#thiswidowedlidfe
#griefisawful
#sothankfulformytribe
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I don’t get when people question me about wearing or not wearing my wedding ring. I love it so I will always wear it :)
#thiswidowedlife
#norightorwrongway
#itsnotuptoyou
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My tears were happy for the first time in a long time.. I was given the most inspiring and impactful teacher award by our 2019 graduating class and it left me speechless tonight ❤️
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Trying to plan a covid funeral for the most loving and amazing dad. The business side of death is just awful 😢
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I was asked if I knew you would die, would I still say yes?... despite the pain and heartbreak I would. Every time.
#thiswidowedlife
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What an expanding heart looks like in a photo ❤️
#expanding
#notreplacing
#griefandjoycoexist
#ilovehowloveworks
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The calendar turned the page and everything is ................... ya it’s the same. Nothings changed.
#thiswidowedlife
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I know people are tired of covid but my aunt died a few days ago. We thought she had beaten it in April. It’s heartbreaking. Protect the ones you love. Protect the ones that need your protection.
#WearADamnMask
#COVID19
#covidOn
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6 years ago today I walked the stage to get my B.Ed..Kev died 6 mo. into my program. I didn’t think I could finish, but my angels pushed me through x
#lookforthehelpers
#thiswidowedlife
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I appreciate the tribe of grievers on
#grieftwitter
❤️
#widowedtribe
#empathy
#longlivelove
#lookforthehelpers
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As my kids get older, the stories of their dad change. Because of this, their relationship with him keeps evolving and does not grow stagnant. Don’t underestimate the importance of a story, or the friends that can help you tell them x
#thiswidowedlife
#kidsgrief
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I graduated my B.Ed program 6 days before the first anniversary of Kev’s death. When I look back at this picture I’m amazed at how good I was at looking normal when my insides were crumbling…
#grief
#looksaredeceiving
#dontbefooled
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Anyone else feel like they’re just treading water, head just above the surface? Or is it just me?.......
#thiswidowedlife
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My grieving self loves the bone chilling “sorry I can’t make it” cold because the weather is always a more understood excuse than “I’m just not up to it”...
#thiswidowedlife
#grief
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As time marches on towards the 10 year anniversary of Kev’s death, I am thankful for the love that still remains in the eyes of our children and for my partner who doesn’t feel less love because this love will always be x
#theheartexpands
#griefandjoycoexist
#thebodyremebers
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This is my dad with my first born, his first grandchild. They don’t think he’s going to make it, he’s fighting for his life. His dad died April 6, 1972 and I feel like my grandpa is calling him home. I don’t want him to answer the call 😢
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Please, some prayers for my dad. He’s been taken to the I.C.U with sepsis. A complete dereliction of care and I’m so angry.
#LTCOntatio
#theresnocareinLTC
#onpoli
#LongTermCare
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A child at my son’s school died by suicide yesterday. It has shaken my kid to the core even though he didn’t know the boy personally.. “I know how that family feels right now and it’s making my heart hurt pretty bad mum”.
#empathy
#talk
#listen
#agrieverknows
#emotionaltriggers
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It’s my birthday, and in the quiet of the night, amidst the craziness in the world and if only for a time, there is peace. I am thankful x
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Finally able to let go of the financials of my old life… feels freeing and sad at the same time x
#grief
#movingforward
#whenitstimeitstime
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When Kev died, I threw myself into writing about baseball. It was something totally different and I had no memories of us there. It helped to save me..and now that it isn’t being played, I don’t have that sanctuary anymore. That has made this harder..
#thiswidowedlife
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I feel like a sailboat without an anchor… losing my parents six moths plus a day apart….and Kev’s death anniversary day is tomorrow..all that’s left is love with no where to go.
#grief
#compoundgrief
#griefontopofgrief
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I wonder, if in years to come, kids will dress as a covid teacher for Halloween... 🤔👻
#covidontario
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10 years ago my brother died. Nothing was ever the same again. I miss you Kenny x
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I’ve come to the conclusion that solo parenting is a time of crazy busy while learning to ignore the constant pit in your stomach…
#thiswidowedlife
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11yrs ago today my brother died. It was my first real stomach turning head spinning pain filled grief encounter. It in no way prepared me to lose Kev 2 years later.
#grief
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Kev’s spirit will always have a place at our table ❤️ Whose spirit is at your table?
#thiswidowedlife
#setaplace
#SayTheirNames
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We buried my da yesterday, and we all sang this song as he was lowered into the ground. He would always sing it to us, and end every family video with this clip. I miss him so very much 💔
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I just told a grieving friend that ‘tears don’t wash away strength’ and thought maybe you need to hear that too x
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Today comes with a double edged sword. It’s Mother’s Day and my parents 51yr anniversary...my moms first without my dad. Life is complicated.
#thiswidowedlife
#momisawidow
#allthefirsts
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My cousin was in a terrible ski accident. He was airlifted here to a trauma Centre. The fam is camped out in ICU and my heart hurts. Send good vibes please x
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