“What song is it that goes, Around the world, around the world…” Record store guy: “Yeah, that’s…” “I’m not done yet. Around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world, around the wor

Yeah, I’m bi or whatever. What percentage of the body do genitals make up? That’s my gay percentage.

Making her wear a jeweled butt plug to a Michelin star rated restaurant.

Me too, anonymous street artist. Me too.

When you finish a shower do you dry off a bit before stepping out of the shower or do you get out like a sopping wet pussy and then grab a towel?

Classic @octopuscaveman popping up on Facebook. Bullshit they cut off his name.

The cum has just been raptured from inside my balls.

Anybody getting raptured tomorrow can send me all their money since they won’t be needing it anymore.

Did you know the phrase “balls to the wall” derived from glory hole culture? It originally meant to put your dick all the way through the glory hole until your balls were literally against the wall.

I don’t watch many television series so it’s weird that I’m watching three different shows at the moment. Alien: Earth, Peacemaker, and Gen V.

Madam, clap your cheeks this instant!

10 days sober and I’m trying not to drink. DM me dirty pictures to take my mind off of it.

My adult son every time I let him pick his own outfit.

Feel like masturbating would burn more calories with one of these.

I jack off while wearing sunglasses. Yes, I’m that cool.

For sale. Cock ring. Never worn.

https://t.co/yRCKMgizrX

Scooby-doo is short for Scooben St. Doobin.

Stolen.

Stolen.

How it feels to be the last active person in a group chat.