uMazakhela
@Wenkosi
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Mummy to indodakazi ❤️❤️ #tea_quilalover #saltmerchant #recoveringProcrastinator
Washington DC
Joined March 2009
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Wami: so mummy, do you have one?
Me: one what?
Wami: a Ndebele crush
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Imagine sending money to you family member in need only to find out they're sending money to prophets in Nigeria!!!!
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Esibafunayo abasifuni. Abasifunayo asibafuni!
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Thank you FB memories 🤭Obama inauguration parties 2009. It was freezing but here I was rocking isichibi lesi 🤣
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Tell me you have a kid without telling me you have a kid.
Good morning.
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Please don’t wait till I’m dead to say nice things about / to me, or make me your profile picture, etc. I see this too much and I hate it.
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I asked Liv to move away from the window coz there is so much lightning (the Zimbo in me can’t deal). She replied “lightning strikes the tallest object. I’m not the tallest object here, you are!” 😫🙆🏾♀️
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Why do people insist on having weddings when they do not have money?
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Atlanta to Bulawayo with a 12 layover in Zurich 😰
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Earlier today, while trying to take pictures of my child, she pointed to some people sitting outside. She asked me what they were doing. When I said I don’t know, she told me to take pictures of them and leave her alone 😶😯
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Stop that.
Put that back.
Get down
YEYI
NO
Sit down
Yekela khonokho
YEYI
Don’t do that
Kanti susenzani
Ngizaku qoqoda
You’re making a mess
No. No. No.
Wenzelani khonokho kanti
Afternoons with my toddler 😨
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This morning I was messing with my child and told her I’m having another baby. She said that’s not true because she saw me drinking alcohol ………
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20+ years of living in America but each time I see things like this I’m like eish incwathi bakithi. Could start umlilo nicely.
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When my people go out of their way to tell me “phela mina my child only speaks English” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say or feel
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Wami just said holy cow. So I asked her where she heard that. She said from people that talk English 💀
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If you wear glasses, quote this photo with one of yours
#WorldSightDay
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Wami asked if she could sit next to me during my conference call. I told her she would have to stay quiet, no talking. She’s sitting there watching YouTube then laughs out loud. I’m like hey I said no talking. She says “I just laughed though, I didn’t talk!”
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So nunus. Isigqoko lesi sihle, kuthwe uzakhula laso.
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A woman asked me if I’m from Uganda today. I think it’s my forehead.
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Kulondoda we Sabatheni othetheyo / otshadileyo othumele imessage esithi ungiphuphe nxa usulala. Ngimcebele kubani - kumkakhe loba ecaweni?
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This mjolo thing has owners. Some of us even kuma talking stages akusangeneki coz you give undoda your number avele angene on some I hope your husband / bf won’t kill me!
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When someone says “udlani usuyisdudla shame” besides silence, what’s the best response?
#NdebeleTwitter
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Wami: Mummy, when we are gone I miss Gogo.
Me: but when she’s here you’re ignoring her half the time.
Wami: Gogo doesn’t understand. Sometimes I want to talk to her and sometimes I don’t but she just keeps talking to me 😂
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My child just told me she does not want a mother who is not married 😶 what must happen now?
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Earlier today, Wami found a deck of cards and she was asking me to teach her how to play. I’m thinking wehluleka ukutshova ibhayisikili sugijimela ukutshova amakhasi !
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Sometimes it’s better to continue missing certain people from a distance because the mental gymnastics of dealing with them in person is not worth it.
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“Thwala okukwanisayo”
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Ndebele people killing me. They will pick all kinds of words to avoid using the actual terms for their body parts.... sibadala!
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I think we might have found the representation I was looking for 😊
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The more I try to gentle parent, the more ungentler my child becomes.
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Is there a blog or a book on how to answer your 4 year old’s never ending questions coz I need some serious help?
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You know what’s worse than the “send me a picture” crew? The ones who randomly send you their picture hoping you return favor 🙅🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️ Angidlali njalo!
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Y’all’s MCMs be wilding. Exchanged phone numbers with one the other evening. One text exchange later I was being propositioned for a 3some. Sir whatever you’re on, I want none of it. Ngi shook!
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My child said her teacher will be out on Friday and so she doesn’t want to go to school. When I asked why not, she said whenever there’s a different teacher she has to keep correcting the way they say her name 😏
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Before bed Liv asked me to get her some Gucci shoes and socks 😆 festofol sis can you spell Gucci? 2. Uyake ubone iGucci lapha ekhaya? 3. Yhu, imhlolo ka James!
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A short story:
Feb / Mar besixoxisana lomunye ubhudi. Duku duku wanyamalala. October saw izithombe zomtshado wakhe. December nango sephendukile kuma inbhokisi
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Sometimes iboyfren iyafuneka mbijana, like now. Ihlombe liyafutha and no one to ninda me inombolo kitchen 😭😭😭
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Iqiniso ngelakho wedwa. Hamba uyelenga ngesende lika left with your theories!
@Wenkosi
Iqiniso lihle. Umendo is a milestone in a woman's life. Bonke osisi bafuna ukuba ngo Misisi. They dream of their wedding day from an early age and when that day comes they go all out to outdo other weddings.
Ungazibona ungumfazi ufika 35 years ungendanga, wehlulekile empilweni.
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Morning laughs courtesy of Wami.
She’s in the bath tub playing with her duck. She squeezes it and it makes that weird sound.
Wami: duckie, you suza? Say excuse me!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
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When I wore this tshirt to the playground I wasn’t expecting the amount disapproving looks I got.
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I have no idea why I just remembered the day I was robbed at gun point in broad day light while talking to my ex on the phone. My ex could hear everything and he told me to hand the robber the phone so he could talk to him ......
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Sis in the grey YEYI!!!!!!!
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I’m realizing Ndebele people have a somewhat subtle offside. You don’t see it coming. Likhuma kuhle kuhle but ligeca umuntu. I like it 🤣
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I was having wine the other day when my child said “if you stop eating junk food we could have another kid for me to play with.”
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My child will pretend she doesn't understand isiNdebele when she doesn't want to do something. She's over here saying "Mum why are you speaking to me in Spanish?"
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Watching Peppa pig and I notice that the parents also refer to each other as Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig. Reminds me of Ndebele parents referring to each other as Na Mfana or Sa Mfana like they don’t have names!
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A bra I will wear happily!
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I spend my evenings and weekend days saying (sometimes shouting):
Wenzani (what are you doing)?
Wenzelani khonokho (Why are you doing that)?
Yekela khonokho (Stop that)!
Yehla khonapho (Get down from there)!
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Today’s my cousin’s 40th birthday. This is probably my favorite picture of us that I own.
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Ndebeles: uyangaphi?
Answer: Ng’ya buya khathesi LoL
Whites: Where are you going?
Answer: To see a friend
Zimboz: Ukuenda kupi?
Answer: Ndirikudzoka!
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Trying to teach Owami Thoko Thoko vuka. But she keeps saying Thoko Thoko VULA 🙊
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Attended umhlangano wabo mama hosted by Jose Cuervo the other day.
#WomenCrushWednesday
#NationalMargaritaDay
It’s just twitter …….. to you!
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