Urjita Wani
@WaniUrjita
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Bless your Twitter feed by following me. For writing projects and comedy, contact: [email protected]
Mumbai, India
Joined April 2017
it's so hot in india that even delhi peeps are saying, "tu andar mil.".
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how to tell my tailor i want a lehenga like this.
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So basically @ayushmannk might be playing Kartik Aryan anytime soon.
.@TheAaryanKartik says @ayushmannk movies have ‘men with defects’ while his have ‘women with defects’.
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it is ending because Otis has started looking like Jugal Hansraj.
‘SEX EDUCATION’ is ending with Season 4. Releasing September 21 on Netflix.
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Dormammu sounds like something Munnabhai would call a watchman.
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the kangna ranautification of this guy has begun and I am here for it.
Writer of your calibre cannot understand the betrayal of a lover (Between Zoya & Ranvijay) then all your art form is big FALSE 🙃 & If a woman (betrayed and fooled by a man in the name of love) would have said "lick my shoe" then you guys would have celebrated it by calling it.
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Why unemployed men worry the most about gold diggers is beyond my understanding.
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thank god for Pathan and Jawan otherwise people would have thought that Vangya saved Bollywood.
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unpopular opinion but I feel Alia always acts the worst in Karan Johar movies.
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bollywood celebs announce their retirement by doing a Cred ad.
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man, this MDH and Everest masala scam is making me develop trust issues for EVERY SINGLE FOOD ITEM. We're living in a constant state of despair every single day bc what the fuck is this life.
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what a sore loser oh my god.
#Animal remains invictus at the Box Office🪓🔥. Book your Tickets 🎟️. #AnimalInCinemasNow .#Animal #AnimalHuntBegins #BloodyBlockbusterAnimal #AnimalTheFilm . @AnimalTheFilm @AnilKapoor #RanbirKapoor @iamRashmika @thedeol @tripti_dimri23.@imvangasandeep
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pighalne ke baad wapas freeze hoti hui dairy milk.
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bollywood is churning out a bunch of propaganda films at the moment and it is our duty to not talk about any of them online. negative publicity is also publicity toh deni hi hai toh chup chaap apne kamre mein gaali do unko, saalo.
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*While Rani Mukherjee continues to cut every actress on the panel*.Masand: hey Tabu you have been awfully quiet. Tabu: actually I have been through all of this, I just want to learn about their journey and experiences. Two actresses from the same generation, poles apart.
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you're scared because the female colleagues you're sleeping with might start blackmailing you and you don't want that because you're married/getting married? Fun.
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The problem with ugly people is that they think that's their only drawback.
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Delhi ke log "Delhi best hai" ye bolne ke liye Mumbai mein settle hojaate hai smh.
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I mean. falling in love with somebody from your caste isn’t exactly as ‘scandalous’ as you think it is. .
My sister fell in love with her friend, and after two years of an affair they got married to each other but they made it look like it was an arranged marriage 🥹 my parents and the rest of the family still have no idea about their affair 😂 they have 4yo son.
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you won't realize this yet but Brahmastra was behind its time.
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when did we as a nation decide that kartik aryan is a good actor pls i just wanna know.
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agar tumhe Imtiaz ki koi movie samajh nahi aa rahi toh give it a few years uske fans tumhe convince kar hi denge.
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some girls say shit like "i want a guy who would roast me" abey bc itne mushkil se Sati se chutkara mila tha.
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so many girls of my age are giving birth to children bc yaha main neend se nahi jaag paa rahi aur tum mein mamta jaag gayi.
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Old fashioned.
Call me old fashioned but lip lock pictures in Indian weddings look cringe. Stop copying west please.
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shah rukh apne address column mein sirf 'Mannat' likhta hoga kya.
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If your laptop needs charging every 25 minutes, then it's a computer.
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Kar di na Indian government waali harkat.
Currently pretending to help my niece find her Dairy milk that I ate. 🤭.
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madam ka privilege itna hai ki “luxury” aur “need” ke beech ka difference hi samajh nahi aa raha. Shabbash 👏.
He loves #Reservation. Why he is not giving any Reservation to Reserved category? . Social Justice means nothing when its your own money. How noble!.
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boys judge girls for loving fairy lights and then go crazy over rainbow backlit keyboards.
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Sex and all is cool but have you made somebody who hates you laugh? Making somebody laugh without their consent is the best.
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I have thought about my crush 7 times since yesterday. Sly tweeted him thrice.Spoke about him to two people.And yet Google hasn't shown me an ad to buy him. Guess who is not doing there job properly???.
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ye agencies saale ek writer rakhte likhne ko aur 4 aadmi rakhte update lene ko.
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“You don't write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying in the road.”.-Richard Price.
This country forgets, forgetting is how she deals with her existence.
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Jug Jug Jeeyo is a comedy film only because the men want to divorce their wives and not the other way round.
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It took close to four and a half years but my sister finally got her divorce today. Endless court proceedings, negotiations, blackmail, my family has gone through it all just because her ex-husband didn't want her to get remarried. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
My sister (age 25) was a victim of domestic violence in her marriage (May 2017) that lasted for less than 2 months. It’s been 2 years since she filed a divorce complaint against her husband, but he hasn’t given his signatures yet. (1/4).
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Hello everyone!.I’ve released my first stand-up video called ‘inter-caste love story’ on YouTube. If you’ve found any of my tweets funny then you should definitely check it out :).Like, share and subscribe ❤️.Link to the full video:
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notice periods of 2+ months are crazy like damn i don't want u so now i gotta spend more time with you?!.
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TIL @Javedakhtarjadu fought for the right of lyricists and composers to own their work which brought about amendments to the copyright bill. But by doing this he incurred the wrath of all the bollywood producers which ultimately lead to him losing out on work 🥲.
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actors who gave us the best koffee with karan episodes had to sacrifice their careers for our entertainment.
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idk who needs to read this but find someone who brings out your affectionate and lovable side. you might think that you're detached and cold but NO. you're v v capable of giving and receiving love. just never, ever lose hope ❤️.
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If somebody cribs about bathing every day I just assume that iske ghar pe dinn bhar AC chalta hai.
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inse na railways sambhal rahe hai na exams bc taxes kis baat ke de rahe hai hum? Resign karo saalo.
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@adhicutting not sure if they think people who drink alcohol are uncool, it’s just that they don’t judge teetotallers and that is refreshing. I was told by so many of my older peers that I’ll have to have alcohol everywhere I go if I wanna “network.” .Sab jhoot lmao.
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Mood kharab tha par parents ne kuch khass bhaav nahi diya toh waapas mood theek karna pada shit yaar.
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cunt kyu serve kar rahe ho bhai humne toh dal makhni order ki thi.
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I love how the internet has collectively decided to give 0 fucks about the Ambani pre wedding loll.
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Paid hai bhai lol how are people so gullible.
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this phenomenon of bollywood actresses CONSTANTLY shitting on feminism must be studied.
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writers who get paid bloody well start companies which glorify underpaying writers- make it make sense.
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A dating app called Syringe just for doctors hahaha. why is no one laughing now????.
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If you don't treat your body like a temple, hospitals will treat it like a bank.
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Citizens ka pata nahi par government ko itna freedom nahi dena chahiye.
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If God wanted us to be vegan then why were Adam and Eve punished for eating an apple?.
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the women in four more shots sound like a misogynist's version of feminists.
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Hello! .I am a comedy writer who is currently looking for work. Previously, I had worked as a copywriter and freelancer for 2 gigs. Please RT this and get me in touch with people who might have some work for me.
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BJP fucking around in the first four years of relationship and then making up in the last few months to get back in your bed is fuckboi behaviour open your eyes India he is not into you.
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People who cannot say 'no' get walked over on more than an average footpath.
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Do you ever try to impress the Netflix algorithm by watching documentaries? .I have been trying to do the same but that goddamn bastard won't stop suggesting me Mastizaade.
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kauva kitna bhi washing machine mein naha le bagula nahi banta.-Radheyshaam Tiwari.
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Does Priyanka ever miss speaking in Hindi around her Jonas family idk just wondering I would have missed Marathi Jai Maharashtra.
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“In the future, everybody will be famous for fifteen.minutes.”.- Andy Warhol, 1968.
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bikharne ka zyada shauk mat rakho .varna sametne waale kuda samajh ke dustbin mein daal denge.
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dosto agar hum sab milke actors ko dilasa de ki we dont mind your undeclared assets, MMS, illegal activities in general toh kya woh propaganda ads karna band kardenge??.
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dubai.
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Dimple Kapadia had more screen time in Pathaan’s trailer than the wholeass Brahmastra movie. #PathaanTrailer.
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clingy banne ke darr se saala kisi pe kabhi apna haq jataya hi nahi.
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@Budweisserrr Two of my close relatives got cancer. One of them passed away recently and the other one is battling it as we speak. Cancer itni common beemari kabse hogayi? Kabhi socha hai?.
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Cinema Beyond Entertainment's video on Dil Chahta Hai made me explore the subject of psychoanalysis in movies. Thank you for gifting us this channel, Vinit. Your legacy will live on forever. RIP🙏.
Before any of the Cinephile pages in India, it was Cinema Beyond Entertainment that looked at subtext in Indian movies and presented in the most simple and informative way. RIP Vinit, thank you for sharing what you loved, it will always live forever.
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what is the procedure to slap someone at work without slapping them? :).
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Somebody just told me that thank god Aarey trees are getting cut we don't want Amazon fire over here dafuq.
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I don't want kids but I want grandkids do you understand my feelings.
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Thak gayi hoon understanding ban ban ke vro koi 5 minute ke liye nakhre uthayega mere?.
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I've become hard working now that I have a boyfriend. Because it is v difficult for one to stay lazy if a person constantly asking you three times a day "whatchu doing?".
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not exaggerating when I say this but I’d blush everytime @gulshandevaiah would show up on screen in this movie. He was wayyyyy too good 🌻❤️.
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iss zaalim duniya ko equality aur equity ke beech ka farak samjhaate samjhaate hi marr jaana hai hum sab ko.
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unpopular opinion but why are y’all bullying Harshavardhan for being his true self on social media? I know it reeks of “i dont know what poverty is” behaviour but it is atleast better than Sara Ali Khan’s middle class pretence?.
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men suddenly lose their sense of humour when the joke's on them.
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I couldn't convert my bhakt parents in all these years but PM convinced them simply by flouting covid norms and endangering the lives of millions for his campaigning. Truly a masterstroke by king 💯🔥.
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HR whenever you apply for a leave:.
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unpopular opinion but comedy movies which get TOO serious in the second half suck like the entire rape-suicide subplot in Khatta Meetha left a bitter taste in my mouth.
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Uday Chopra had such a great comic timing! Imagine if he actually focused on doing smaller character roles instead of going for the male lead- he’d be such a huge hit!.
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if you’ve seen the White Tiger (movie), you’d know that driving is not the only thing he is getting paid for….
Ambani’s personal driver has annual package of 24lpa. Let that sink in.
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why does he look like marathi Jim Sarbh.
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man bring back bike taxis everywhere. I remember travel in mumbai had become SO MUCH cheaper when they were around :( .60₹ bike taxi fare would be the equivalent of a 200₹ auto ride. Get rid of this rickshaw mafia bc.
Bengaluru auto and taxi drivers staged a protest on July 4 demanding a ban on bike-taxis.
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what’s wrong about openly asking for work?.
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Also an underrated noose. .
Long hair is the most underrated dupatta.
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kaun kehta hai Amreeka dekhne ke liye desh chhodna padta hai.
On Camera, Indore Businessman Fires In Air During Fight Over Garbage
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Guys my tailor said “light pink mein koi bhi lelo” ugh :( .Can y’all get me in touch with a designer/shop which might have a similar lehenga? Twitter, do your thing!!.
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laut aao yaar mumbai winters humare sweaters ne surf khaa liya hai.
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when you think to yourself "I could've done better", don't you think there's a tiny possibility that you've grossly overestimated your talent.
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