Amy ๐๐ฆ๐ซ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ๐งโโ๏ธ
@WaltzingMtilda
Followers
25,488
Following
4,798
Media
11,258
Statuses
178,608
Beloved. Jesus is my homeboy, Dave Grohl is my therapist. Queen of The Silver Dollar. I cuss a lot. Freelancer and Conservative Rage Curator at @TwitchyTeam
fanciest trailer in the park
Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
If you're stressed, look at your dog.
If you don't have a dog, it's no wonder you're stressed.
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I have never listened to a Joe Rogan podcast in my life but now I kind of want to.
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How on earth did we go from 18 year olds storming the beaches of Normandy to grown men crying on the Internet about seeing unmasked people in three generations
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Mom called. Sheโs worried about the weather and wants me to leave work early.
You guys Iโm 50.
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Good grief who would have an affair with Bill Gates
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This is a real thing that happened on the Twitter dot com and Iโm screaming
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The current โyou donโt need that kind of gunโ debate has reminded me of this absolutely classic exchange between Piers Morgan and
@caroljsroth
:
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The cashier at the grocery store looked at my Trump shirt and said. โThatโs awesome! We have to win this election.โ
Guess what I said next,
@ScottPresler
?
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Whatever happened to monkeypox? Didn't poll well?
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A person who puts their child in the trunk of a car under the guise of "quarantine" has definitely done other evil shit to their child. I realize the world is in the grip of madness, but my gut tells me there is way more to this story.
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Bette Midler being labeled a TERF and Mark Hamil being chastised for liking her tweet is exactly the news I needed to start my Twitter day.
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I have said this like 400 times already but I'll say it again.
You asked me to vote for McCain and I did.
He lost.
You asked me to vote for Romney and I did.
He lost.
You told me not to vote for Trump but I did anyway.
He won.
Fuck the GOP.
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People keep using "sh**ter" when they write about the attempt and my brain keeps reading it as "shitter" what is wrong with me
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Become ungovernable
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Is a "warning shot" actually even a thing? I'm being serious. I was always told you don't touch that trigger unless you mean business.
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Posting a list of the 16 most valuable things in my home on the front door so the robbers know what they're not allowed to take.
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My girl is gone.
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Serious question, where is all this money coming from? It literally doesn't exist.
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MEN: before you speak to a woman, you NEED to ask yourself these three questions:
1. Iโm just kidding why the fuck would you want to speak to a woman who expects you to do an internal pop quiz before you have the audacity to engage in friendly conversation?
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Ok I'm just gonna say it.
If you're mad about a white suburban Mom getting arrested just remember every time you said a Black man should have just done what the police told him to do.
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Promising free college but delivering free crack pipes is government in a nutshell
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How do you loot an Arby's? Like, what do you take? The meats?
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I did not have "old hippies advocating for censorship" on my 2022 bingo card
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Iโve said it before but it bears repeating: youโre not eliminating Down syndrome. Youโre eliminating PEOPLE with Down syndrome.
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Merry Christmas I got a machete
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Wait Daryl Hannah is married to Neil Young how did I not know this
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So Iโm married to a guy who served in the Marine Corps and builds houses for a living.
Today he called me while I was shopping to say the cat is out of gift wrapping tissue to play with and could I please pick some up.
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You guys. How awesome is this?
@ScottPresler
took the time to make a video for yโall. What a positive, happy warrior! Gratitude is his attitude. :)
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@Paul_Sacca
@sallykohn
My boss, who built this company up over 25 years and who went through the early years putting in 14 hour days and often forgoing a paycheck himself, didn't sleep for almost a week when all this first started. He's lost weight over this and is doing all he can to keep us going.
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Me: I need a hug
The hubs: I'm here for you babe.
*we hug*
The hubs: You really have the best boobs.
Y'all boys I swear.
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The funniest thing about โLetโs go Brandonโ is that it was started inadvertently by a member of the media.
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Dear men,
You know I love you but please explain why you think three hours before a party is the time to trim tree branches and nail down loose deck boards.
Thanks in advance,
Amy
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So if what I'm seeing is correct, it's gonna be the cops that turn a peaceful protest into a riot.
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They're not eliminating Down Syndrome. They're eliminating people who have it.
I feel ill.
In Iceland, nearly 100 percent of women screened and told their unborn has Down Syndrome aborts the child.
But the test is only 85 percent accurate.
Let the reader understand.
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Toxic masculinity.
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FB Mom: my 6 year old is having a hard time sitting still in class
600 other FB Moms: YOU SHOULD GET HIM EVALUATED FOR ADHD
Me: Well, I mean, he's 6 and this is his first experience with a full school day
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So Yashar sees a girl with hoop earrings and immediately thinks of a stereotype but Alison is the racist for dressing up as Amy Winehouse.
Wasn't 2020 already stupid enough?
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Made "Bottomless Biscuits" with dinner tonight. They're super easy, you just follow your regular biscuit recipe and then forget to grease the cookie sheet.
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Just wanted to add that I love my Mom very much and I'm so thankful to have her. And wanted to send out hugs to those of you who have lost a parent or parents...I know I'm very blessed, and I'm so sorry for your loss. ๐
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Does Texas even need anything from Portland? Because I feel like it probably doesn't.
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Am I the only person who's never seen Fight Club
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I took my five year old niece to the local coffee chain yesterday and she told them her name was get vaxxed and when they called out her order everyone wept with joy except this one dude without a mask so she went and kicked him in the shin I was so proud
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We always tip on what the bill would have been, even if we have a coupon/discount or something that was made wrong had to be taken off. That's right, right?
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In what universe did Gore "walk away" from losing the election to Bush? Because I sure as hell remember it differently.
Government gaslighting at work again.
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If you think that conservatives would be disturbed by the idea of POC legally carrying you've never been to the gun shop.
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The last ride
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You don't have to hate DeSantis if you support Trump.
I can't believe some people are falling for that shit.
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In light of the PA supreme court decision our school district superintendent just announced that we are mask optional effective immediately.
If anyone needs me today I'll be on the Facebook watching suburban woman have a complete and utter meltdown. ๐พ
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@JessMarieGarcia
It's a solemn job. I dress as sharp as I can whenever I get summoned.
It's awesome that you took it seriously and with respect.
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I don't think I told you guys, but the hubs got that job you all so kindly prayed about for me.
He starts tomorrow. :)
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I am frigging dying right now because my husband was trying to compliment my on my ass by telling me it's better than my sister's and I was like "you look at my sister's ass?" and he just went into instant deer in a headlight mode
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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So, the hubs has a job interview today at 3:30. Would really appreciate prayers and positive energy. ๐
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I'm just gonna say it...when one actor loses her job for refusing to use pronouns in her bio (which should be her choice) and another is lauded for mourning the death of a convicted pedophile, some seriously evil shit is afoot.
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Been watching clips of "All In the Family" and let me tell you that show addressed some heavy shit for the times
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This picture still makes me laugh
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I just closed on my house :)
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Still trying to wrap my brain around a four star general getting his feelings hurt by mean words.
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Hi my name is Amy and it has been one week since I ordered anything from Amazon
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Annnd my baby girl got accepted to Ohio State :)
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It's so weird how some of the big, influential "conservatives" that I used to admire when I first started with politics on the internet have turned out to be absolute assholes.
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The next time you want to complain about how awful America is, remember the people who fell to their death by clinging to the exterior of a plane trying to get here.
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I am genuinely confused by all of this. If you choose not to get vaccinated, why should I have to wear a mask to protect you? And why do you have to wear a mask to protect me, since I'm vaccinated? We've both made our choice. Masking at this point makes no sense to me at all.
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@SebGorka
For people who hate Twitter so much now that Elon owns it, they sure do seem to keep hanging around.
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Was gonna make a quick stop at Tractor Supply on my way to work but then realized there is no such thing as a quick stop in that store. Itโs like Target for rednecks, Iโd be there for at least a half hour.
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Look who Santa brought.
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Was SNL ever funny? I feel like we thought it was but it wasn't.
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My cousin: So anyway I just made partner in the firm and the wife just got promoted to VP at the bank and the twins made dean's list for the sixth time in a row how are things with you
Me: Uh...I have sixteen thousand followers on the Twitter
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Merry Christmas to everyone blocked by John Cusack, which is pretty much...everyone
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The hubs just got his first call for handyman work. I am SO excited! Heโs under-employed for the coming four weeks and thatโs been pretty stressful to think about. But I have faith that this will work out.
Would appreciate prayers to bolster his confidence and belief in
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The Facebook wants me to remember about that one time I wore makeup and got my hair did
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The hubs brought home some farm-fresh eggs. They told him that you can keep them on the counter for a week or so, that you do have to wash them before you eat them, and if you wash them before you're ready to eat them, THEN they go in the fridge.
I dunno about all this, y'all.
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Dear
@realDonaldTrump
I am sorry that I was not with you from day one. I am sorry I did not realize how much you truly love and understand how the USA was meant to work.
I did vote for you in 2016 with an enthusiastic heart, and I can't wait to vote for you again in 2020.
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"Some Christian you are" has got to be one of the most disingenuous tactics deployed by the left
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Today be like
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So I have some fun news...picked up by
@TwitchyTeam
as a freelancer, which is still blowing my mind.
Thanks
@PolitiBunny
for the great call on learning the ropes tonight. :)
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Anyone surprised that we went from โitโs only a maskโ to being told what we can and cannot eat in a restaurant?
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If I may humbly ask for prayer. The hubs just went in for a cat scan he took a bad fall today.
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Oh my gosh my teenager just messaged me. She got in to Penn State.
I may or may not be a little emotional right now.
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Men: my whole body hurts and I can't even move my left arm
Women: how can I help
Men: sex might work
Y'all kill me with this
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Roses are red
I'm white as snow
You're as unique
As a breakfast taco
*a poem by Dr. Jill Biden*
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Gonna go out on a limb here and say anyone offended by Steve Martin or Cinnabon does not share
#CarrieFisher
's sense of humor.
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Pulp Fiction is not a good movie.
There, I said it.
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I saw this image on someone's IG and it just, I dunno, gave me some hope so I thought I would share
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This is the tweet Siskind has her knickers in a twist about.
As a result, I've started following
@DefiantLs
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It really bothers me that our capital is being occupied by our own military.
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The French are revolting.
Oh also apparently having some riots as well.
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Please get to the bottom of this. The American people have the right to know.
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There is no fucking way I would have apologized to that kid.
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@AndyBeshearKY
This you?
DISGUSTING: Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear wishes for a member of JD Vance's family to become pregnant due to rape.
"Make him go through this."
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I feel like this is an oddly specific thing for his mother to have said. ๐ค
BIDEN: "Just over four weeks ago, America had no real plan to vaccinate most of the country. My predecessor, as my mother would say, 'failed to order enough vaccines,' failed to mobilize the effort to administer the shots... That changed the moment we took office."
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On our first date, the hubs took me to my favorite local restaurant. He nervously asked "Is this place expensive? Because I don't have a lot of money."
It wasn't cheap but it wasn't expensive either. But those terms are relative to your money situation, anyway.
A few minutes
List of restaurants women refuse to go on a first date at is going viral ๐ณ๐
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Am I the only one who thinks Roger Moore was the best Bond?
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@ScottPresler
YEP!
And she is and so is her Dad and they are going together in person to vote for President Trump. :)
๐ ๐บ๐ธ๐
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