Beloved. Jesus is my homeboy, Dave Grohl is my therapist. Queen of The Silver Dollar. I cuss a lot. Freelancer and Conservative Rage Curator at
@TwitchyTeam
How on earth did we go from 18 year olds storming the beaches of Normandy to grown men crying on the Internet about seeing unmasked people in three generations
The cashier at the grocery store looked at my Trump shirt and said. โThatโs awesome! We have to win this election.โ
Guess what I said next,
@ScottPresler
?
A person who puts their child in the trunk of a car under the guise of "quarantine" has definitely done other evil shit to their child. I realize the world is in the grip of madness, but my gut tells me there is way more to this story.
I have said this like 400 times already but I'll say it again.
You asked me to vote for McCain and I did.
He lost.
You asked me to vote for Romney and I did.
He lost.
You told me not to vote for Trump but I did anyway.
He won.
Fuck the GOP.
MEN: before you speak to a woman, you NEED to ask yourself these three questions:
1. Iโm just kidding why the fuck would you want to speak to a woman who expects you to do an internal pop quiz before you have the audacity to engage in friendly conversation?
Ok I'm just gonna say it.
If you're mad about a white suburban Mom getting arrested just remember every time you said a Black man should have just done what the police told him to do.
So Iโm married to a guy who served in the Marine Corps and builds houses for a living.
Today he called me while I was shopping to say the cat is out of gift wrapping tissue to play with and could I please pick some up.
@Paul_Sacca
@sallykohn
My boss, who built this company up over 25 years and who went through the early years putting in 14 hour days and often forgoing a paycheck himself, didn't sleep for almost a week when all this first started. He's lost weight over this and is doing all he can to keep us going.
Dear men,
You know I love you but please explain why you think three hours before a party is the time to trim tree branches and nail down loose deck boards.
Thanks in advance,
Amy
In Iceland, nearly 100 percent of women screened and told their unborn has Down Syndrome aborts the child.
But the test is only 85 percent accurate.
Let the reader understand.
FB Mom: my 6 year old is having a hard time sitting still in class
600 other FB Moms: YOU SHOULD GET HIM EVALUATED FOR ADHD
Me: Well, I mean, he's 6 and this is his first experience with a full school day
So Yashar sees a girl with hoop earrings and immediately thinks of a stereotype but Alison is the racist for dressing up as Amy Winehouse.
Wasn't 2020 already stupid enough?
Made "Bottomless Biscuits" with dinner tonight. They're super easy, you just follow your regular biscuit recipe and then forget to grease the cookie sheet.
Just wanted to add that I love my Mom very much and I'm so thankful to have her. And wanted to send out hugs to those of you who have lost a parent or parents...I know I'm very blessed, and I'm so sorry for your loss. ๐
I took my five year old niece to the local coffee chain yesterday and she told them her name was get vaxxed and when they called out her order everyone wept with joy except this one dude without a mask so she went and kicked him in the shin I was so proud
We always tip on what the bill would have been, even if we have a coupon/discount or something that was made wrong had to be taken off. That's right, right?
In what universe did Gore "walk away" from losing the election to Bush? Because I sure as hell remember it differently.
Government gaslighting at work again.
In light of the PA supreme court decision our school district superintendent just announced that we are mask optional effective immediately.
If anyone needs me today I'll be on the Facebook watching suburban woman have a complete and utter meltdown. ๐พ
I am frigging dying right now because my husband was trying to compliment my on my ass by telling me it's better than my sister's and I was like "you look at my sister's ass?" and he just went into instant deer in a headlight mode
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
I'm just gonna say it...when one actor loses her job for refusing to use pronouns in her bio (which should be her choice) and another is lauded for mourning the death of a convicted pedophile, some seriously evil shit is afoot.
It's so weird how some of the big, influential "conservatives" that I used to admire when I first started with politics on the internet have turned out to be absolute assholes.
The next time you want to complain about how awful America is, remember the people who fell to their death by clinging to the exterior of a plane trying to get here.
I am genuinely confused by all of this. If you choose not to get vaccinated, why should I have to wear a mask to protect you? And why do you have to wear a mask to protect me, since I'm vaccinated? We've both made our choice. Masking at this point makes no sense to me at all.
Was gonna make a quick stop at Tractor Supply on my way to work but then realized there is no such thing as a quick stop in that store. Itโs like Target for rednecks, Iโd be there for at least a half hour.
My cousin: So anyway I just made partner in the firm and the wife just got promoted to VP at the bank and the twins made dean's list for the sixth time in a row how are things with you
Me: Uh...I have sixteen thousand followers on the Twitter
The hubs just got his first call for handyman work. I am SO excited! Heโs under-employed for the coming four weeks and thatโs been pretty stressful to think about. But I have faith that this will work out.
Would appreciate prayers to bolster his confidence and belief in
The hubs brought home some farm-fresh eggs. They told him that you can keep them on the counter for a week or so, that you do have to wash them before you eat them, and if you wash them before you're ready to eat them, THEN they go in the fridge.
I dunno about all this, y'all.
Dear
@realDonaldTrump
I am sorry that I was not with you from day one. I am sorry I did not realize how much you truly love and understand how the USA was meant to work.
I did vote for you in 2016 with an enthusiastic heart, and I can't wait to vote for you again in 2020.
So I have some fun news...picked up by
@TwitchyTeam
as a freelancer, which is still blowing my mind.
Thanks
@PolitiBunny
for the great call on learning the ropes tonight. :)
BIDEN: "Just over four weeks ago, America had no real plan to vaccinate most of the country. My predecessor, as my mother would say, 'failed to order enough vaccines,' failed to mobilize the effort to administer the shots... That changed the moment we took office."
On our first date, the hubs took me to my favorite local restaurant. He nervously asked "Is this place expensive? Because I don't have a lot of money."
It wasn't cheap but it wasn't expensive either. But those terms are relative to your money situation, anyway.
A few minutes