VØ₦ ฿Ø₲ ₩ł₮₵Ⱨ
@VonBitchPants
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1,448
Following
1,056
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𝖂𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖑𝖞
Totally not in a bog
Joined August 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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This is for free on the nature strip like 3 houses down and my weak bothersome husband will not assist me in making off with it 😖
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Dear
@ABCTV
could you please please put all the episodes of The Goodies up on iview? I think we all really need to see them right now. ❤️
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Wonder if the guy who's been arrested for the murder was the same guy who viciously assaulted another female runner in exactly the same area a year ago. That victim tried to get police to look at her case again, but her request and concerns were dismissed.
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Type the year you turned 18 into the GIF bar and post the best GIF you see...
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$280 in a fucking op shop. This shit is an absolute disgrace. Profiteering off people's generosity and leaving people who desperately need things unable to afford them. Fuck you,
@salvos
. Even your shittiest couches are $300!
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@DevonESawa
Final Destination is still one of my favourite films, all these years later. It certainly cemented my distrust of planes.
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So Services Australia have cut my FTB in half because they insist that if I am cohabiting with my ex husband, he MUST be parenting 50/50. He's not. He never has. And if I ask him to, I might get hurt. This is all in my Centrelink file, but they contacted him anyway.
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One side of the gingerbread house is done...I think. I had to stage an intervention on myself at 3am ☃️
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As some of you might remember, my 9 year old is obsessed with Plague Doctors. Today, I walked into Gungahlin Vinnie's and there was a high quality Spirit Halloween Plague Doctor costume IN HIS SIZE for $6?! He is SO HAPPY and determined to wear it to school for Book Week lololol
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"This one is a very special creature to me. when i first met Laszlo, i was walking on the moors with him, and this owl flew over and scratched my head, and i said "kill that fucking bitch, please, Laszlo"
Miniature making is the best kind of therapy ⚰️🦇
@AJemaineClement
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@MikeCarlton01
Poor Dan copped shit for having a birthday meal at home with his family last week. The "reporting" is disgraceful.
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Possibly the best insult I've ever had the pleasure of reading
@mattjcan
Once, in my late teens, i got utterly munted on quality hash then the munchies hit hard and the only food in the house was a 2kg block of cheddar. The shit i did the next day after eating all that cheese still wasn't as thick as you.
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It's amazing what comes out during a separation. For example Shit Ex hates my hair. Straight up thinks it's horrible and always has. Good reason to keep it this way forever, tbh. 🖕
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Sick to death of these fucking "good guy turned bad" narratives the media keep pushing about make women-killers. Why the fuck do we care how liked they were?? Get all the way fucked with your bullshit apologist rhetoric.
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Eventually even hot guys start to look like Andrew Denton
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I really want these boots, but I feel like they will push me across the line from goth matriarch to art teacher
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Welp, husband just got his test results back and of course it's fucking chlamydia.
I've never felt more vindicated.
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For weeks I have saved my Etsy order pennies and now....well, I bought the damn cloak.
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It took me 5 hours to make this Fox today. I am dead both inside and out. Also yes my thumbnail is fucked. I am devoid of nutrients.
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Proof that I can actually smile, but only if I have sticks in my hair
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@spinachforever
@BretG
Been married to my husband for 6 years and he's still on my phone as LARP Guy
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On other news, my husband just threw the dinner I made us at me because he didn't "like my tone".
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Camera is being weird, but here's a selfie where I'm actually smiling a bit?? Unheard of.
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Behold, my harvest of dicks! Look upon it and weep!
Second pic for reference 😅
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Heeeee The Bastard Ex has just realised the ATO will enforce child support payments because I chose not to lie to the them in my tax return like he asked me to....
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lol Shit Husband's mistress dumped him while I was away and he legit just cracked the shits because I wouldn't have sex with him either lololol
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Who's ready for one of the best Shit Husband updates of all time..
HE GOT A LITERAL FUCKING STD LIKE I SAID HE WOULD
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Jericho officially joins our little family today. He's bonkers and we love him.
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The kitten yawned while my phone was taking a longer exposure shot in low light and created NIGHTMARE FUEL
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I have reasons to smile today, so here it is. Proof that I can still move my facial muscles.
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This chair was $40 (?!?) on FBM and there is not a single thing wrong with it. Merry Christmas to me.
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It's hard to explain just what kind of a joyous karmic surprise it's been to find out that someone responsible for a lot of my trauma has gone to jail for embezzlement.
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Going out for a Sunday roast whilst my ex husband sulks 🙌
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Something I'm really enjoying about being in my 40s is the sheer number of fucks I do not give about pretty much everything. I now hoard my few remaining fucks like a dragon guarding gold.
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I woke up to a message on my Instagram from THE American doll house magazine asking me to do a major feature and I'm quietly losing my absolute shit
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I just had such a great night. I met up with a bunch of very cool humans to do weird shit in an old cemetery, and it ended in going to an old pub that had hot cider and BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING 🙌
(This is my happy face)
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Asked my husband what the plan was for mother's day. His answer was "I'll be calling my mother".
Cool. Not like I've spent the last 9 years of my life carrying and raising his son or anything.
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Phase one of making a 1:12 scale Mari Lwyd is done! Now for the creepy embellishments...
#folklore
#Hookland
#MariLwyd
#WyrdWednesday
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Ok but what if the Rapture just takes all the religious assholes and right wing dickheads and leaves the earth a utopian dreamscape? Maybe then we'd have a fucking chance.
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Oh that's fun. Centrelink had put a hold on my parenting payment claim because they needed a document, but hadn't actually informed me that it was even on hold, let alone what document.
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Would you date me based on this profile? I fucken wouldn't lmao
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Birthday outing shall now commence! Heading to Dirty Janes first for coffee and browsing things I can't afford, then on to other antique places with my mate Juliette 🙌🎂
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The reason for today's genuine happiness is courtesy of
@ape_descendent
. This delightful human discovered an incredible dollhouse in his family's garage. It just so happens that this is my DOLLHOUSE UNICORN and I have been searching for one for years 😭😭🥹
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Pocket fam, I want you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate the way you hate my husband.
I know I whinge on here a great deal, but it is literally the one place I can do it. Screaming about him here prevents me from a full grippy sock vacation. x
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Autumn is now official, because I wore leggings (with snakes on them, shut up) and Docs outside the house and IN PUBLIC. Also this bat wing thing which is 4000% comfortable and soft AF. Behold the might of my meaty forearm, which I have just now decided to tattoo asap thanks
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Aaaw the girl at the ticket desk said she loved my aesthetic and that I looked beautiful. Things like that have the power to make someone's day.
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So the paperwork is filed and we are now officially separated.
Cohabiting indefinitely, but needs must. Neither of us can afford to fund or set up another household. The sense of freedom is...strange. Everything has changed, but also not. Time to plan a new life in earnest.
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And it's on. It might not look like much, but if you have anywhere near my level of ADHD dysfunction and a trauma based cooking aversion, you'll know this is an achievement.
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A tiny European hare that I made just to see if I could, then immediately hurt my own feelings with by thinking about Watership Down.
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Scott Morrison didn't "fight back tears", he faked up tears. If you fall for that shit, you've never spent time with anyone from Hillsong. The entire church is a masterclass in emotional manipulation.
#auspol
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I shit you not, my 8 year old just walked in singing "Never Let Me Down Again" by Depeche Mode. I have never played it around him?? Is goth..... genetic??
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This is going to make Mac users even more insufferable, isn't it
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Update: the delightfully gay man at the checkout of in the Egyptian Exhibition shop told me my hair was "absolutely magnificent" 🥹
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Live In Ex Husband is badgering me for my 50% "contribution" to household expenses and rent. Absolutely cool and fine given I'm still doing 100% of the childcare and housework and he's left with $1600 a fortnight AFTER rent when I've only got $400.
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Upon reflection, it almost appears as if The Shit Ex is having difficulty accepting that I now have a fuck buddy, too. How sad. How terribly, unutterably awful.
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Thank you, everyone. I'm safe. Just absolutely furious.
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Fuck it, I'm deleting all the dating apps. I don't want to be disappointed and bored by the human race any more than I already am. Instead, I will content myself with excellent friendships and the most expensive vibrator on the market.
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Might not be able to powerlift, but I can turn a man to stone just by looking at him.
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What are you doing today? I'm cleaning graves in one of Canberra's oldest cemetaries. As you do.
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Went out for dinner and a movie with a new (female) friend tonight. Put my phone on silent so my husband couldn't do his usual pestering. Got home around midnight....
Husband: so what's his name?
Me: whatever the fuck I want it to be
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Lying in bed, velvet soft doona up to my chin, screen door letting in the gentle sound of rain and the crisp scent of autumn wet earth. A bone deep moment of joy.
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Just laughed so hard I almost ruptured something because Shit Ex just bought HIMSELF groceries and HAS PUT THEM IN HIS BEDROOM like it's a 90s fucking share house
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I've been thinking about getting some kind of qualification that I can use pretty much anywhere to get work if I need to. I've settled on a Certificate III in Pathology Collection. I wanna steal people's blood (for tests not drinking, obviously) and be paid for it.
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In memory of my silly, clever dad, please enjoy the most 90s family portrait of all time. Yes, that is me with a perm.
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I hope that wherever you are and whoever you are, there is someone who will care for you when you're sick. I don't remember the last time someone gave me that care, or even just checked to see if I needed a glass of water. It's a lonely fate.
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I got a ring that was a) not expensive (thank you 30% off) and
b) will serve to remind me that all men are actual fucking snakes
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@GumLeafWhistler
@salvos
It wasn't just that, though. It was the couches and everything else being $300+. Op shops are there to support those who need CHEAP items to assist them to live functional lives. That's why they're called OPPORTUNITY shops.
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So The Shitbag has gone out to meet up with his troll mistress but jokes on him because the only money currently in our account is my Centrelink payment and I've just transferred it into my own account so he can't buy her dinner lololol
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Went for a stupid walk for my stupid mental health and discovered these metal AF chooks a few streets over
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So the Ex Husband has just had leg surgery and is hobbling about upstairs dramatically. He hasn't realised that I can control what he casts to the tv up there from my phone. I've been randomly stopping, starting and muting anything he's been watching all morning lolol
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Hey
@centrelinkgovau
are you going to be here to mitigate the DV that will likely occur how you've changed my percentage of care to 50% and I have to ask my ex husband to ACTUALLY PARENT? No. Didn't fucking think so.
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No presents for me, as usual, but the generosity and kindness of all of you throughout this horrendous year has been gift enough.
I truly hope you all have the best Christmas possible, in whatever way suits you best. 🎄❤️
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