The Curious Optimist
@VitaeArcanum
Followers
41K
Following
177K
Media
387
Statuses
113K
A pocket full of dreams and a mind full of mischief. Blissfully dissatisfied. https://t.co/ClBlIxwIfr
In the moment
Joined March 2019
I’m wearing £29 panties and I have £15 worth caught up my ass.
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all the sex noises but it’s just me trying to get out of my sports bra, again.
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women out there with two heads getting married and i can’t even get a “hi”.
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your sex life is summed up in your most frequently used gif.
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Being wanted feeds the ego.Being valued feeds the soul.
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I accidentally stumbled onto political twitter . I should flash my tits and make everything right again.
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your 9th most used emoji is how you do the sex.
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Slut in the tweets.Mediocre frustrated housewife in the sheets.
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Never dampen your flame just because someone else is scared of your fire.
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I drank for 14 hours yesterday .I am 49 .Now I will spend the next 28 days recovering.
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a cabin in the woods and a weeks worth of snacks . you coming?.
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Send him morning boobs so he can keep abreast of the day.
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Tried to tell my husband I love him but it came out.“Why can’t you put your fucking cup in the fucking dishwasher?”.
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I don’t have thicc thighs, can I interest you in a little ass?.
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Shove in a thumb while you fuck her from behind bro.
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my phone is so full of nudes that it won’t unlock unless i flash my tits and talk dirty to it.
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I’ll never be arm candy. I’m 50,.best I can be is an arm sandwich.
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Show me your ink.I’ll show you my bewbs . Tit for tat.
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Just know that if you sleep with your mouth open I’ll slip a boob in there.
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I’d rather live with consequences than regrets.
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this string bikini is fighting a losing battle and my tits are winning.
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lifting my top up and showing off my sweaty tits is how I hot flash.
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Got called a whore twice on here this morning before 10am. Bless you, have a wonderful day.
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I don’t do pity parties but if you have a titty party I’m ya girl.
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dressing up as a washing machine for halloween so i can take your load.
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I slept face down ass up.I don’t sleep walk but I do sleep slut.
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can we still bang if my panties don’t match my bra?.
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I may not be beautiful but I am loyal and authentic as fuck.
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if I keep my sports bra on for the sex, that counts as exercise right?.
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reverse cowgirl, so you can twist my buttplug like a fidget spinner.
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my head on your chest while we spend the morning listening to the rain?.
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sundress so short I left kiss prints on the car seat.
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My soul is not up for grabs but my tits and arse are.
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She accidentally sent her boobs to me and I’m not complaining.
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If I get drunk will you take advantage of me?.
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lifting my sundress, to show you where I’m blushing.
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my right nipple is an escape artist today and my bikini is fighting a losing battle.
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i had plans for my life.flashing my tits on the internet was not one of them. yet here we are.
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Side boob is all I have when I’m laying down . Still hot or?.
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my day was depressing but my tits remained perky.
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I’m only attracted to those who are fluent in truth and authenticity.
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Panties have their place. Like in your mouth or pocket.
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if she doesn’t get naked to apologise, is she really sorry?.
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i slept in a tank top and woke with his dick in my ass.
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i have a big forehead and a little ass.please love me.
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my ass eats yoga pants like it’s been on a diet.
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i need to wear two sports bras to calm my tits.
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I’m all tits and ass with a sprinkle of whimsy.
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I tweet a lot about underwear for a woman who rarely wears it.
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I’m British. I only communicate in sarcasm and insults.
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why ruin a pretty sundress by wearing underwear.
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My favourite pillow talk is moaning face down into it.
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wearing nothing but high heels and a thong . thought you’d like to know.
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Guys under 30 trying to charm my knickers off.Dude.I’ll fuck your dad and make you my bitch.
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Never apologise for the chaos that made you a warrior.
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The only thing I’m wearing under my sundress today is a smirk.
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fuck me in the pouring rain until we are both soaked, to the bone.
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Why is it called an orgy and not a cluster fuck?.
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i slept in a tank top and woke up with my tits in his dms.
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I’ve had a fucking hard week and now I’d like a week hard fucking.
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I had coffee and an orgasm and didn’t tweet about it.
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Stop using people as bandages.Go sit in the dark and heal yourself.
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I may be shattered glass but I still reflect the light.
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Flip me like a coin and I’ll give you head or tail.
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told my husband only one man gets to see me naked .and now he wants to know why it’s not him.
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Put a collar on me and watch how fast I fetch your bone.
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My favourite thing about being British on twitter is Americans correcting my spelling . *sighs.
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you don’t attract what you want .you attract what you are.
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Do I flash my tits or arse today?.I need to get this first tweet right.
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just found out that only 43% of women do anal and I realised,.all of those women are on twitter.
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boops your nose with my hoo ha while I’m riding your face.
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my non verbal daughter just spoke real words to me on the phone, so obviously i need a moment while I cry like a baby.
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My bitch face rarely rests and my tits are never calm so don’t come at me with clichés.
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caught my bikini string on the door handle .so yes, I dropped my panties for the postman.
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your 3rd most recently used gif is your sex face.
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my tramp stamp says Eileen.you know what to do.
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He is gentle with her heart and that’s why it’s his.
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