Vinay Patel
@VinayPatel
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Writes scripts, feeds cats, tries not to fuck up that thing you love | Associate Playwright @royalcourt
Joined February 2009
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Part-time, full-hearted
.
@royalcourt
boss
@mrdavebyrne
has appointed four associate playwrights – including
@RyanCalaisC
and Mike Bartlett – in a move that will mean they become part of a "collective leadership" model and develop the venue’s artistic programme.
Find out more 👉
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The comic timing of Danny Dyer’s second “twat” should be taught in drama schools.
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Frankenstein the book is perhaps one of the greatest pieces of shade in literary history. Young woman stuck in the middle of nowhere with DudeBro poets writes story about man whose act of creative arrogance is so misguided it kills people.
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If you want to know what Westminster Bridge is like on this beautiful morning: An Iranian man is playing the Doctor Who theme on bagpipes.
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Me: Yeah my cat used to leap around a lot but he’s gotten a bit stiff in his old age, the poor lad
Vet: Oh there’s this new injection for that want to try it?
Me: Sure why not
SMASH CUT TO:
I attended an online screenwriting seminar yesterday & this happened:
Screenwriter: Yes, I do think there's still a role for treatments, I usually--oh. hang on. Sorry. My cat's stuck out on the scaffolding, I have to rescue it.
Host: You're. You're going to save the cat?
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Every year, the first birthday message I’d get was from an email from a far-right white supremacist forum I signed up to for research. Dumb to use my real birthday but anyway - this was the first year I haven’t got a message. Because it’s been shut down. No better gift.
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That end theme 💔. There are so many stories to be told about Partition - this is only one, and whilst it was an honour to tell it, I’d urge you to seek out more. Hopefully the previous tweets will help with that. Thanks for having me in the Whoniverse x
#DemonsOfThePunjab
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A small PS added today: Had a slightly trippy, auspicious case of life imitating art - went home to see my grandmother before she goes to India next week...and she, knowing nothing of this episode, gave me my dead grandfather’s broken old watch...
#DemonsOfThePunjab
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Can't lie. I'm really enjoying this "Brown Man Beats Cumberbatch To Make History" award sub genre.
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An episode of Doctor Who like that one where miserable Vincent van Gogh gets to find out he’s admired in the future but with Gareth Southgate in Euro ‘96.
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Fucking hell, lads
Congratulations to
@VinayPatel
, who wins the
@EasternEye
Award for Best Scriptwriter for his
#DoctorWho
episode “Demons of the Punjab”, set during the height of partition in 1947 Punjab.
#EEACTA
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THEM: Guys, there's a pandemic. It's ok if you're not productive!
ME: Wow yeah, I actually really needed to hear -
THEM: Sorry, I meant it's ok if *you're* not productive. *I* have written ten books, found love & invented a little thing called a "vaccine" maybe you heard of it
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No, Sunday Times, don’t apologise for the racist comment. Do the proper British thing and build a statue to it
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This is the most painful cancellation I have had yet. From someone I spent 10 happy years working with, many lovely family dinners and lots and lots of laughs. Someone I thought was a friend.
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Well then. Here we go. A real privilege to have written something I wish had existed for my younger self. Sunday November 11th, 7pm.
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I‘m going to guess those who complain that the company of a play is “garishly diverse” wouldn’t have that concern if those exact same actors were the waiting staff at a restaurant
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There we are then, this is finally announced. I've written episode 6 of this season of
#DoctorWho
. Demons Of The Punjab - Yaz goes in search of her grandmother during the Partition of India. Starring
@shanezaza
@hamzajeetooa
and
@amita_suman
. Directed by
@JamieRossChilds
.
Doctor Who Magazine issue 531 - out this Thursday - will include exclusive previews of the next four episodes...
Episode 3: Rosa
Episode 4: Arachnids in the UK
Episode 5: The Tsuranga Conundrum
Episode 6: Demons Of The Punjab
Cover of the new issue to follow soon!
#DoctorWho
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Just paid £2.50 for some coconut water.
At that same moment, thousands of miles away, my grandmother puts down the spoon she’s using to stir her khichdi, furrows her brow. An ancient sense kicks in and she knows, she just *knows* that something very, very wrong has happened.
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Happy Diwali! (Put some plays on by British South Asian writers in the next decade please)
Happy Diwali! May your day be full of light.
Why not say thank you today to someone who's made your 2020 a little bit brighter.
📷 The Ramayana (2001) Nobby Clark
#Diwali2020
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Getting pissed off by WW2 stories that don’t feature soldiers from the wider Empire wasn’t just about chips on shoulders - it was about complicating the simplified “we stood alone” foundational narrative of modern Britain. There’s a responsibility to the future in our histories.
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My local Iceland is only open to the elderly til midday and a young woman just asked an old guy to go in and buy her some frozen spinach - the pandemic variant of hanging around the off-licence at 14.
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Cancelling my gym subscription to pay for pet insurance, being told my chronically nonplussed cat weighs a tonne and staying awake for 42 hours finds its natural conclusion
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The thing I’d forgotten about this clip is that the co-host effectively implies the same thing as Naga is saying...so it’s pretty unjust to censure *her* for (very mildly) commenting on her experience in generic terms. Presenters do that all the time, even on the BBC.
"I've been told as a woman of colour to 'go home'..."
@BBCNaga
shares her experience as we discuss the reaction to comments made by President Trump.
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In Suella Braverman’s Thick Of It episode that starts with her supporting a golliwog-loving pub-owning couple in an attempt to boost her popularity, this is the quote a junior SpAd would be reading out to her over the phone as Malcolm Tucker approaches from the mid-distance
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Upshot of this: 'Diverse' school kids better love Shakespeare plays, but fuck off if you ever want to act in one:
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Three Classic Reveals In Theatre
1. Macduff being a cesarean birth
2. The Woman In Black appearing at the end of The Woman In Black
3. That really sound person you ranted with about arts being a closed shop turns out to be from a massively loaded/famous/well-connected family
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Imagine not getting on with your daemon and it settles as a fish just to spite you
#HisDarkMaterials
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Walking through the foyer of the National Theatre, I waved at a friend I recognised and my friend enthusiastically waved back (as you do) and as I passed him I realised it was Andrew Scott who is not, in any way, a friend
What's your best celebrity sighting in London? Extra points if you talked to them!
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There’s a woman sat by herself in the cinema bar, blissfully eating sweet potato fries & drinking red wine and I’ve haven’t seen anyone look so happy in months and it makes me hope she just has the most wonderful life.
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Here are a few of the (many, many) books I read during research for
#DemonsOfThePunjab
. Some non-fiction, some poetry, some short stories, some novels. The Manto will stay with you forever.
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2012. I’m excited to be on a TV scheme. More so when I meet a v cool brown kid who tells me she’s written an action film about a young woman rescuing her sister from a marriage. 11 years later…happy release, Nida! A joy to see you shine (Glad we got to snap a space rhino horn)
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If you’re a minister claiming a well-off family w/ working parents, who live in Islington, w/ family in the city, access to the benefits of government & dedicated community groups had *no choice* but to drive 200+ miles, what did you think you were inflicting on the rest of us?
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'friendly intimate contact' is going to be the title of a fringe play about 2 people who met and hugely connected during lockdown and then find themselves struggling to recreate that in real life (3 stars, lovely performances from two new comers who will both end up in The Crown)
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That smile Priti Patel gives after saying “we will end the free movement of people” chilled me
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Give us the Countryfile/Doctor Who crossover special you cowards
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Posted before, but
@1947Partition
is an incredible resource for learning individual experiences of partition. Hundreds of stories from Sikhs, Muslims and Hindus, old and young, across the subcontinent.
#DemonsOfThePunjab
|
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The Hungarian lady at the barbers always ignores what I ask for and gives me the exact same haircut, and now I find out it’s the same one she gives her son who’s still back home and who she misses and I’m living in an award-nominated, character-led short film from the mid 2000s.
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This reporting is extraordinary. You'd wish the allegations were. Productions & orgs need clear processes for accountability that treat anon accusations as seriously as a bomb threat, transparency in subsequent investigation & to fire the phrase "he's just like that" into the sun
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British South Asians are badly in need of big stories that speak to them and aren't inflected by the subcontinent, as mighty and important as those narratives might be
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The last time I spoke to my grandfather before he died, I finally told him I was writing about the journey he and the rest of my grandparents took to be here. My version of a story standing on the shoulders of his; an origin myth for me and those like me, writ large. Here it is:
@javaadalipoor
@MonicaDolan
@BeholdArinze
#AnAdventure
by BAFTA Breakthrough Brit
@VinayPatel
follows headstrong Jyoti and her fumbling suitor Rasik as they ride the crest of the fall of Empire
#Bush2018
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“What you writing over there, Mary?”
“Oh nothing. Don’t let me disturb you from finding new metaphors for your dick.”
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"Change, my dear *waves sharpened sonic* and your cash and cards too"
Conservative MP Nick Fletcher says Doctor Who being played by a woman has pushed young men into crime.
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@matthaig1
I adopted three cats from a dead neighbour that I never really knew and, in a deadening year, looking after them made me feel like I could one day be a human again.
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Brave of Chris Chibnall to deal with the torment of every South Asian creative trying to subvert stereotypes as they realise that - no matter what they do - they will always be partly a Doctor
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So 7 years ago I wrote a script about England getting to the 2018 World Cup final, within the context of rising white nationalism. Odd to think now that the most incorrect part of that script was them playing Italy.
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Of all the unexpected losses in Corona World, I’m most gutted to not be able to see or hold my niece during these formative first moments of her life but Jodie Bear is standing in. 3 months today!
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I hope that all the institutions tweeting about
#WorldMentalHealthDay
pay their freelancers on time
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One of the things I wish I could go back and tell my younger self: Decorum so often works as a way to protect people who fundamentally don’t like you
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Been struggling a lot lately but am weirdly finding it hard to accept that that's true? Like I can't shift suspicion that it's laziness/indulgence of a low feeling. Maybe just a fear that a loss of competence - the last rung on the ladder - would be cataclysmic to sense of self
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“It’s midnight on BBC One, please stand for the national anthem”
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Tube rammed for the
#PeoplesVoteMarch
. Favourite sign so far: “We’re Going To Need A Bigger Vote” complete with shark
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Being in your 30s means being pre-emptively tired from the night out you’ve not even been on yet
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Thinking of all the artists just starting out or tentatively making that next step. As a v uncertain & unconfident writer, if my first fringe run got axed last minute I don’t know if I’d have been able to stomach the arts & would’ve run for the securest life I could find. BUT...
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You all know, but
@therealjomartin
continues to rock it
Congratulations to
#DoctorWho
's 'Fugitive of the Judoon' for being one of
@TVGuide
's Best Episodes of TV in 2020! 🦏
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The best represented minority in the arts are Oxbridge grads
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As a kid, all I’d write was sci-fi, obsessed with fantastic worlds. Then terrible events force you to confront reality instead and you understand you’ll never launch a rocket without clearing the launch pad first. Grateful to Who for letting me do both. Hugo nom means the worlds.
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Folks, we have to find the line between gravity and hysteria if this going to work without driving us all mad. Sharing unsourced horror doesn’t help. We’re already living in a drama. Don’t live for it.
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This take is pretty popular - what it doesn’t allow for is that asking some groups to sit with constant reminders of their historical oppressors/abusers places a bigger burden on them than it does on groups that are indifferent or unaffected. That’s not a neutral act.
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I don’t miss good things. I miss kinda shit things. A too-full party. Avoiding someone you can’t bear. Obscure pub quiz rounds. A dumb fight outside. Sticky cinema floors. Drizzle that doesn’t need an umbrella (soaks when you run for the gig you’re late for). The last train home.
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“Springfield. Such an exotic word.”
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Similarly, the BBC created a few excellent programmes for the 70th anniversary of Partition last year. Sadly, the TV content isn’t up anymore but there are a few clips and the audio content is ace.
#DemonsOfThePunjab
BBC - 70 Years On: Partition Stories
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Me: It’s a shame that, from birth, we’re railroaded with images of thinness so that we cannot truly appreciate other modes of beauty without deprogramming ourselves
The Vet: That may well be, sir, but this cat is still overweight.
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Loving Andor like all good people but the part of it I realise I love most is how unthirsty it is for modern day meta-adoration. A low quipping quotient. Mostly played without a panicked eye towards memeability or wider universe connections. It lives so thoroughly within itself.
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Minority cast member in early 2000s horror movie goes for a walk
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@JohnTheWhite1
@MaxCCurtis
@TheDaiLlew
Hi John! Considering you literally cut her out of a celebratory picture, I don't think you get to talk about what's disrespectful to Jo. So take her name out of your mouth and GTFO. Tah x
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Giles praises closeness of what seems an Asian family as the way to look after the infirm/elderly. My grandfather was supported heavily by family before he died - still needed pro help for a better quality of life. Don’t fetish other cultural norms to make your cold, cold takes.
Freedom of movement and social mobility undermine family life which is the most successful form of social security the world has ever known.
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From An Adventure
@bushtheatre
to another In Time and Space...
NEWS: The writers for Doctor Who Series 11 have been confirmed!
We of course have Chris Chibnall, Malorie Blackman, Ed Hime, Peter McTighe, Vinay Patel and Joy Wilkinson.
#DoctorWho
#JodieWhittaker
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Go well, big man. Think India have already given you the send off you'd want today with that ridiculous win against the Aussies in the cricket just now but we'll aim for a close second
Grandad Time always heartening: "I don't regret coming to this country. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of myself. Had nothing, made something."
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So January 2nd is starting to stretch the definition of "being here for Christmas Twitter" a bit far. I leave you with a piece about different ways of dealing with reviews (with a tiny bit of introspection about the year that's gone but you can skip that):
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Feel like everyone’s going to understand Chekhov’s plays better after all this
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By the end of 1945, the Indian Army was the largest all-volunteer force in history, numbering over 2.5 million people. For stories of those who were part of it during WW2 and beyond, check out the brilliant
@WeWereThere2
account.
#DemonsOfThePunjab
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It’s so perfect that no matter how many times you watch it, you laugh.
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An honour to have been a small part of this show & the world beyond it (even the angry YouTube commentators - we all need a hobby, lads). Taught me lots about the work I want to put into the world & who I want to make it for. Forever thankful. Happy birthday, Doctor
#DoctorWho56
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Turns out Kent was always the *front* Garden of England, in that it's eventually paved over for parking space
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So if I understand the rules correctly I can legally celebrate my 35th birthday in March by standing in middle of a park downing a bottle of cheap whisky while someone *not of the same household/bubble* stares at me in horror from two meters away please confirm
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I try to grapple w/ emotional underpinnings of people/policies I don’t like cause it tends to reveal truths you can usefully engage with. But the Rwanda scheme is a display of such open cynical, soul-melting inhumanity that I hope its architects & defenders never escape its stain
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