I am not a romanceable NPC, a quest giver, nor a final boss. I am in need of an escort as I follow this corrupted leyline. I walk at neither your running nor walking speed. I am constantly stopping to comment on items I see. There is a 75 minute lore video about me.
nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how “busy you were”
- how many hours you worked
people will remember:
- counter target spell
- return target permanent to its owner's hand
- tap all creatures your opponents control
- draw a card
One of the more upsetting parts of my pandemic was being forced to confront the fact that I probably care about other people more than the average, and I fucking loathe other people.
Jordan Peterson is an enormous piece of rancid shit and anyone thinking he has anything useful or unique to say should probably read something that doesn't have a lightsaber on the cover
I would like to point out that I do not give you a quest or a reward. This is just something I do. My respawned corpses litter the map in ominous locations.
In two expansions, I appear at an inn on a new continent, with dialogue indicating the devs have decided to enter into a feedback loop with the lore community. I have become what other people have decided I always have been, but in a way that feels a little needy.
baby are you a celebrated novel because i want to leave you neglected by the side of the bed until someone else blows out your back in a used book store
It is once again time to remind gamers that getting extremely angry about games is not healthy. getting incandescently furious about your toy soldiers or cards is bad for you, and the people who encourage it do it to make money. these things cannot be your entire personality.
how is Elesh Norm’s cunning plan to start a war on an arbitrarily large number of fronts against planes each with populations and industrial bases tens or hundreds of times larger than new phyrexia’s working out?
the thing about far right ideology is that there's no there there. it's just a pile of the most cobweb-brained infantile shit imaginable. not only is debate with it counter-productive, it's not really possible because you wind up having to explain extremely basic ideas.
Had to leave Desert Bus’ Omega Shift early because of some brutal light sensitivity but I remain so tremendously grateful to be invited to contribute to this amazing event.
I blocked all advertisers on this site until I started to be served really weird ads, but I hoped for weirder so I blocked too greedily and too deep and as it turns out there’s just an abyss of terrible gatcha games under a thin film of quack cures and agriculture gadgets.
as a reminder, my handle is an anagram of my first and last names. the other leading contender was "caramel undoer" and i'm not convinced that i made the right choice.
If you've been paying attention to the Desert Bus schedules, you'll have noticed I'm not appearing on any shift.
I've decided to take this year off.
I love doing the event and have every intention of returning next year and for as long as they'll have me.
Stopped for coffee on the way to work on Wednesday and the barista asked for my plans. Admitted that I was going to play Warhammer. Barista exclaims "this guy plays warhammer!" People are staring. Other barista runs over, they spin the POS tablet around. It's on the GW page.
nerd racism is so brutally pathetic. achingly dull weirdos citing ambiguous passages of text with the confidence and relish of a pair of calipers scraping along a skull.
Watching these stupid motherfuckers in their giant ugly trucks demanding freedom from reality is a reminder that fascism is a movement of the petit bourgeoisie
Every job interview I've had has required me to explain that English degrees produce people who can communicate clearly, digest large amounts of information quickly, and not fill your professional text with spelling mistakes.
not going to qt the gamer claiming that if he was shinji he'd fuck all the girls and fight all the monsters but feel the need to point out that there is a character who is like that and she's also fucked up like this isn't even media literacy it's basic sensation/perception c'mon
I got to ban someone in my chat yesterday nominally because they wouldn’t stop whining about how hard it is to be an anti-masker but mostly because I was bored of their implied honking/grunting noises and I’m sad not enough of us really get to enjoy exercising curation of a space
I will not misspeak “valgavoth” on the ppr
I will not misspeak “valgavoth” on the ppr
I will not misspeak “valgavoth” on the ppr
I will not misspeak “valgavoth” on the ppr
I will not misspeak “valgavoth” on the ppr
A reminder that you have no responsibility to keep people in your life who take joy in telling you they don’t care about the things that make you feel connected and bring you peace.
I am begging gamers to learn that being extremely angry about games is not normal or healthy, and it's certainly not useful. Deal with your big feelings yourself because nobody else can and absolutely nobody else should.
Reproductive rights, access to reproductive healthcare, and a pregnant person’s right to terminate a pregnancy should be non-negotiable, and should actually be kind of far down the list of non-negotiable things in a society that cares about the well-being of its citizens.
I wish all my American friends a happy and bountiful thanksgiving that is also a quick and nimble brain day so you can leave your racist uncle or cryptobro cousins in raeg tears.
The far right posting transparent lies online is advertisement. It has no relationship with civil debate. They are promoting a violently oppressive reality. You can’t debate someone out of their carefully cultivated brand.
If I was in charge of writing the Phyrexian invasion I'd have the oil take hold and the machine orthodoxy rule a multiverse so stable time has no meaning. The next sets deal with it breaking apart. This has the advantage of being unwatchable, unplayable, and unpleasant.
you will be recorded by your loved ones and resurrected as a homunculus with a personality built from the façade you showed them, but I will be forked by my creditors and made to pilot an insensate quadcopter to hand pollinate the pear mines
Start regularly recording your parents, elders and loved ones. With enough transcript data, new voice synthesis and video models, there is a 100% chance that they will live with you forever after leaving physical body. This should be even possible by end of the year.
Thinking that magic might be one of those things that I do that I don’t actually enjoy very much relative to the amount of my life it occupies, and that I might be happier dedicating those resources someplace else.