Richard Negus
@TrooperSnooks
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Hedge layer | Conservationist | Writer Agent: @Emmashercliff Publisher: @Unbounders
Suffolk
Joined January 2013
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
Hedges go with Jethro Tull like whisky does with a splash of water.
#WordsFromTheHedge
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My father is 90 years young. He decided to take up painting again during lockdown. These are the Christmas cards he made for us this year.
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"And when did you last see your father smoking outside in the garden?"
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@JeremyClarkson
You've done more for British farming in one series, than Countryfile has in 33 years of broadcasting. Your tractor is too big mind you.
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Hats off to the leading journalists in Britain who have helped bring a frightened and anxious nation together... albeit in a united revulsion of leading journalists, but well done anyway.
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Laid on 7th March.
Lively on 15th August.
Conservation in action.
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For the month of January my wife, son and I will not be adopting a plant based diet. We will instead, only buy food and drink that has been grown and/or produced in our home county of Suffolk. We believe local, sustainable and seasonal trumps any dietary fad.
#EatSuffolk
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Are we leaving the EU on Friday or not? It's my birthday on Thursday and I need to know whether my hangover will be in metric or imperial.
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Last farm hedge of the season finished. Pass me a beer please.
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My father turns 90 in September. He bought his first mobile phone last week. I'm blessed to be the recipient of his inaugural text message. This is it-
"Hi Rich I'm practicing with this diabolical instrument. I'll get there eventually! Much love. Dad."
#diabolicalinstrument
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I am currently writing an article in my 370 years old house. The walls are made out of oak, straw, mud and horsehair. The roof is tiled in terracotta, and I am as cool as carrot
How cool are you smart arses now with your bifold doors and open plan schizzle eco homes?
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Christie Hynde reckoned "2000 miles" to be "very far". 197 yards is similarly so in hedging terms. All done here and on to the next hedge.
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I'm "in nature," but I am on a public footpath. Would I be more "in nature" if I strayed off this path and walked among this habitat mix of wildflower and seed? Surely, to do so would be nothing more than a selfish, human-centric act?
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We had to ride our bikes to the polling station and Mabel couldn't come because her feet won't reach the pedals. None the less she made her opinions known.
#dogsatpollingstations
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Words from the Hedge. No one volunteered to help me plant a tree.
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I thought Ticky Tocky was all about twats dancing and bad comedy skits until I saw this.
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Mr Gould and I have finished the last hedge of 2020. Laid for all the right reasons, ie increasing the habitat benefits for wildlife.
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Rural justice.
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We stopped coppicing for a cup of tea. The bird song was raucously plentiful. Then these ecologists arrived. Dressed like roadmenders and making more row than a jackhammer. "what'ya doing?" we asked. "Bird survey" they replied. "Much about?" "No" they said. And off they stamped.
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Last farm hedge of the season put to bed. That's 4.49km of hedging laid, rejuvenated and improved for farmland wildlife this season across Suffolk, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk and Essex.
Floreat East Anglia
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Imagine you ran a decorating company. You get a commission from a client to paint a large house green. 21 members of your staff decide to paint it red, because they consider they have better taste than your client. You would sack them. Even the one whose grandad was Pugin.
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Aged 16 I had to be taught how to shave, wash and make my bed properly. Voting? Fucking hell I was that immature i got a tattoo of Snoopy.
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I just stuck 3 fingers up at a boy racer to tell him to slow down to 30 because there was a speed trap at the other end of the village. He told me to fuck off. He got nicked. I laughed.
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My wife took this photo this morning of a corner of a little piece of England. Somewhat appropriate for today.
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My top 5 things that are more effective at helping the planet than gluing yourself to a door.
1. Go on holiday in Britain. If you can't "find yourself" by watching a sunrise at Dunwich, you won't do any better by doing the same on a mountain in Nepal.
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Until twitter came along I was truly in the dark about just how many fucking idiots there are.
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If two people who are planning on participating in
#climatestrike
today would like to help me plant 50 trees rather than standing about with a placard tweet me. You'd be welcome.
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If you run around pulling up plants I want to keep, you get jail...
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Half way through this hedge. A slight frost, some sun on our backs with a backdrop of the marshes to work in. Not too shoddy.
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I cannot think of a worse idea. These things are severe fire hazard to people, wildlife and rural businesses.
@DefraGovUK
please act.
Thank you for your support 💞🕯
United together to enlighten the sky with Union-Jack lanterns
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Last hedge of the season done. Time to oil my billhook. 🤨
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I planted 200m of mixed hedge today, good stuff too, locally grown, hawthorn, spindle, dogwood and blackthorn. That's done more for the environment than gluing my arse to the road and I'm not in nick.
#Winning
.
Emma was sentenced yesterday to 4 months in prison because she refused standby and be complicit in genocide.
Now she is exercising her remaining freedom and is choosing not to eat.
Read Emma's statement here:
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The best part of the hedgelaying season is when you see the green return... heartening because you know you have -
A) Done some practical environmental good
B) Not killed the bugger.
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If any climate strikers would like to do something practical for the environment- I need an apprentice hedge layer from November-January. You are out in all weathers and get lacerated but its better than standing about in town squares with George Monbiot causing traffic jams.
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Personally I think we should spend bugger all on potholes. Here is why
1. They slow down the bellends who drive like bellends in their bellendrical cars on our rural Suffolk roads.
2. My mother in law said she wouldn't visit again until the roads are fixed.
3. I drive an Isuzu.
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A day's beating opens the gate to the wildest parts of the country. You see sights that others never get to see. There are dogs, brambles, thorns and sticks, bangs, feathers and mud. Above all, your dad pays you.
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The side the hedgelayers don't show you! I hasten to add the landowner cleared out that ditch himself by hand. Old school
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All those new homes getting built in rural areas, all those new cats living in those new houses. Yet, the depletion of songbird numbers is definitely the fault of the farmers...😐
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6,605 young Americans dead on the beaches of Normandy say that Donald Trump deserves a warm British welcome. And that's about it really
#TrumpUKVisit
#DDay75
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I'm old enough to remember a time when January was known as January.
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It's a rare day indeed when I agree with Rupert Read. But when it comes to
@JustStop_Oil
he is 100% correct. Billhooks not bollocks.
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@GeorgeMonbiot
The list of things you hate grows ever longer. Sheep, cows, farmers, gamekeepers, bankers, dogs, heather and now the village of Rotherfield Peppard.
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I have just visited my aged and sadly frail aunt and uncle 90 and 94 respectively. I wonder at our advances in medicine, it appears to have merely helped them live far longer than either really wanted to.
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My birthday present last year. I haven't broken it yet.
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Today is my 12th wedding anniversary. The mere thought of any woman putting up with me for longer than 12 months is a wonder in itself. Thank you Mrs N for you continuing forbearance.
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Still hedge laying in the Fens on the excellent Hainey Farm, Purdey Gold medallists 2024. Apparently there is a 70% shortfall in the Arboricultural workforce, perhaps it's time the government looked at creating meaningful apprenticeships and better funded our land based colleges?
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The first photo was taken last March, a Suffolk estate hedge immediately after laying. The next is the same hedge, taken this morning. Thicker than a politician without his crib sheet.
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Rather than changing politics, as all the parties say they want to do. I suggest we change the politicians. Sack all 650 of the useless shiny arses and start again. My suggestion is MPs should comprise 50% WI ladies and 50% blokes who organise steam rallies.
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@GeorgeMonbiot
You know nothing about farming and food production, but that hasn't held you back from endlessly giving us your opinion.
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It's always good to see the hedges you laid last October, spring back into action in April.
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Your first TWO trout that you catch are very important trout.
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Hi
@AldeCarnivalUK
. I was listening to
@BBCSuffolk
this morning and was surprised to hear your representative say you are proceeding with your Chinese lantern procession and firework display this year. Has
@SuffolkFire
given this a green light?
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330 hazel stakes whacked in, 275m of pleachers cut, laid and bound, 1,375 plastic guards removed.
On to the next hedge tomorrow.
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This is what makes Britain great.
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I hear the earth's population has reached 8 billion. I suppose the 2.5 billion cows and sheep will continue getting the blame for everything though.
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Last farm hedge of this season finished and it was a long one.
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Twitter is a minefield if asking a closed question. For example, if I asked "do you prefer roast lamb or roast beef?" 70% would answer "what about chicken?" 20% "you know fuck all about beef, look at my beef". The final 10% give you a recipe for something made out of mushrooms
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Before and after. This 20 year old belt was dark and over crowded. Now the wood has had a thinning, a laid buffer hedge, a new outer ride mown and sunlight coming into the understory. Time to leave it alone and let nature do its thing.
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How many of those striking kids are using their time to do a litter pick on the beach, plant a tree or build a nest box?
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This is your yearly reminder. If you've got Muntjac, you won't have nightingales.
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310 yards of native laid hedging finished.
* 1,580 plastic spirals removed
* 1,580 pleachers cut and laid
* 506 stakes
* 1 big boost for farmland wildlife
#conservation
#farminguk
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You too can completely fuck up essential hedgerow margin nesting habitat with this drop shipping death trap.
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After an emotional goodbye, my son released Mole the Jackdaw back out into the wild today. Tough for him, and secretly, for the rest of us too. He put 2 weeks of diligent care into fittening and fattening the bird up. He has done us proud and the hugely amusing Mole.
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In a week where the English hedgerow made headline news, it pays to remember that behind the science, big numbers and hyperbole, a hedge only continues being a hedge- a vital habitat, food source and shelter for wildlife- thanks to a bit of old fashioned sweat and toil.
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I've been shortlisted for the 'Outstanding Contribution to Conservation' category
@GBSAwards
. I believe this honour is not simply due to the miles of hedges I lay. It's the practical conservationists I meet and provide a voice for through my writing. Vote.
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18,569,353 is a big number. That is the number of hedge whips (additional to those already grown/planted) that need to be grown, planted, guarded, and staked EVERY year for the next 13 years if the government's hedge planting target is to be reached
Anyone see the problem here?
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My book 'Words From The Hedge', published by
@unbounders
, is released today. What a privilege to work with
@johnmitchinson
and
@PaddyGalbraith
.
Please click on the link and pledge your support.
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Things not to buy this Christmas-
1) Farmed salmon
2) Foreign meat
3) An elf
4) A shelf
5) A Mrs Brown's Boys Calendar
7) Vegan pig
8) Vegan Blanket
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Marvellous stuff from when the BBC focussed on educate, entertain and inform.
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Hedge laying on either side of this scrubby turtle dove habitat is going well. One more day and on to the next. The joys of working in a frost rather than the wet shite cannot be overstated. WET SHITE I tell you.
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30 years ago today the IRA missed me. Missed John Major too for that matter.
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An often overlooked benefit of owning a 48 year old bladder is it enables you to get up in time to fully enjoy the dawn chorus.
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First job of 2022, conservation laying farm hedges. Happy New Year to you all.
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We sadly say goodbye to Ghillie our ancient Whippet today. 3 months shy of her 14th birthday. If all good dogs go to heaven she'll be running on the shoulder of her wingman Ruby. Gone away.
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Fresh out of my wife's kiln this morning, a foreshore vase and a cover crop platter.
#Suffolk
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My supremely talented wife has moved into the world of bird box making.
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#WordFromTheHedge
The government has vowed we must plant 45,000 miles of new hedges by 2040. That is 72,420,000 new hedge whips, canes and plastic spirals. Without the spirals, deer eat the juvenile plants, yet the spirals are single use plastic. Can anyone see the problem here?
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I met a chap sporting a Green rosette outside the polling station in Westhorpe. He commented that my spaniels were far better trained than Jeremy Clarkson's dogs. I told him that it was thanks to the education they received out shooting.
I think he put me down as a "doubtful"
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People who are directly affected by
@realDonaldTrump
coming to London
1) The Guards Division
2) Met Coppers
3) Westminster Council road sweepers.
People who aren't
1) Owen Jones
2) That sweaty looking restaurant critic from the Guardian
3) The Mayor of London
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