I found my 200th issue of FHM magazine, published in August 2006. In it we did a feature on the 200 best celebrity quotes across those 200 issues. Here’s a few of my faves. The Vinnie Jones one made me spit Tropical Five Alive everywhere.
Jess Phillips has done more for the Brummie accent in 2 years than anyone else has managed in any time frame. What a principled, honest and smart woman this city has put forward to represent us. What a decent person. Kicking arse and taking names. Absolute fair fucks to her.
My daughter came back from
@Colmore_Junior
waxing lyrical about
@jessphillips
coming in today. I think. I didn’t know it was happening. Risking the ‘Didn’t Happen of The Year’ brigade but I’ve never seen her so inspired. Properly pumped.
I left my elderly, completely deaf neighbour a note asking if she needs any shopping or anything. Now she posts me regular updates on her life and her take on the virus. So sweet and so sad. Love the way NEWS is in caps! I’ll be sure to reply shortly.
#ISupportBirmingham
Wasn’t there a Channel 4 reality programme in the early noughties where they convinced half a dozen people they were being flown to the moon? They did astronaut training. Then they literally put them in a simulator or sorts and had them believe they were travelling into space?
@deathofbuckley
In my early twenties I went to the doc’s about shooty bum pain. Ended up on a hospital table with a camera buried up my arse while on gas and air. Not once did someone say “oh don’t worry - that’s just shooty bum pain, everyone gets it and we don’t know why.”
ShortList Magazine didn’t just save my career, it rebuilt it from scratch. Without a doubt In my mind the most talented editorial team I ever worked with. Some of the best times of my life.
Dear Spring,
I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Best episode of
#TheChase
ever. Might have been a small jackpot but the funniest two finalists to grace the show. The original odd couple. Now make a sitcom about them. More things like this please
Got pissed and emotional and just started ordering Ukraine flags from Amazon. Now they’ve arrived and I have no idea what drunk Tom intended to do with them all. One of them’s massive.
Just reading up on why my peace lily plant is mega droopy and apparently I’m either watering it too much, not watering it enough, watering it too irregularly, giving to it too much light or not giving it enough light. So that’s that cleared that up.
Huuuuge fan of people tweeting that restaurants should simply take booking deposits to avoid no-shows. Like they’ve cracked it and nobody has ever thought of it!
People slagging off people for standing in queues for ikea. Maybe that’s what they can afford. Maybe they don’t have much choice. Maybe their bed’s broken as has been for months. You don’t have to do it. Laugh it up if you like.
First ever celebrity interview
First question
Me: “have you ever, just to see what it looked like for a minute, shaved yourself a Hitler moustache?”
Gene Simmons: “my mother survived a Nazi concentration camp and this interview is over.”