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@TimBarnes451
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TV writer: @nickelodeon , @fallontonight - Creator of #MauriceOnMars () - Host of @YouAreTheGenre - Co-host of: @YubNubPod
New York, USA
Joined September 2008
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imagining the 2000s vs experiencing them
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i live that magazine covers are now like those weird paintings in Harry Potter
For Variety's Extra Edition cover:
Ewan McGregor and Mary Elizabeth Winstead on Imposter Syndrome, Reprising Old Characters and How Parenthood Changed Everything
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ironically, Covid would be a better name for Zoom
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somehow, someday, Jordan Peele movie titles will form a sentence
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her final words were โelves canโt be blackโ
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today, all of my thoughts go to the random person who will be immortalized forever in this viral photo of Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian holding hands at Knottโs Scary Farm
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me, taking one last look before i leave a party early and unannounced
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the phrase โhave yourself a merry little Christmasโ sounds rude as hell
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"i am tired of Venice. these people. i am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives"
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you can put this on any VHS cover from the 90s and it makes sense
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i suppose this episode of WandaVision will only exist in my mind...
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i'm gonna need Wong to start appearing in movies outside of the Marvel universe
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feeling the sun in New York this month is like the second half of an antidepressant commercial. all smiles, but the narrator is listing a bunch of stuff you should still worry about
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Just gonna watch this clip of Bernie avoiding small talk on a loop during my self-quarantine.
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should i retweet this every week until it happens?
unrelated: let the bass player host SNL next week
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Fuck you, George Washington! Stand up like a real American.
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slave owners after reading the Emancipation Proclamation
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"Hi, I'd like to report a graduation."
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Me trying to explain to my grandkids what birds were.
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Gonna get this just so I can drop it on the table while splitting the bill, and then look everyone in the eye while humming spirituals.
Our limited-edition Harriet Tubman Visa Debit Card is a symbol of Black empowerment. Donโt miss out!
#GetTheCard
today!
#HarrietTubman
#BlackHistoryMonth
#BankBlack
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if ghosts exist, this is what theyโre doing around us all the time
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i've always appreciated Lance Reddick's willingness to be completely absurd when the role called for it
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the "I Love The..." franchise is the Ken Burns documentary of my generation
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everyone should have a little angel on their shoulder doing this
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Danny McBride is casually one of the greatest auteurs of modern comedy
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Tom Hanks looks like Fred Armisen auditioning to play Steve Jobs.
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This is what Coachella looks like to your grandparents.
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the soundcheck guy for Gayle King's interview with Miya Ponsetto
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just to get ahead of things โ i put ZERO thought into tweeting this
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added the dancing robot footage over Gil Scott-Heron's "Whitey On The Moon" just to see how it'd sync up
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Black Twitter and Irish Twitter have merged and become Phil Lynott
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i did not do research before tweeting this and iโm certain i am not the first person to think or write it down. same goes for crusty-ass Isaac Newton and gravity
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exclusive footage of The Matrix 4
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Just realized how many Black men must have been arrested in that coffee shop from "FRIENDS." Explains just about everything.
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Peter Parker making $$$ selling photos he takes of himself wearing spandex is a precursor to OnlyFans
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Columbus just discovered the floor.
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"Data be thinkin', ya'll! Data be thinkin'..."
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it's as if no stimulus checks and infinite free time allowed people to finally read America's instructions manual
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Bryan Cranston has my undivided attention and respect for acting his ass off as Zordon
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this is the kinda footage they need in viagra commercials
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Annually, I have vivid flashbacks of the time I had to breakup a blowjob during an afternoon screening of 'Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole' at a movie theater I worked at in Riverside California.
How are you?
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"Yeah, Jill Scott is gonna be there. Come through."
Me:
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when that second Pfizer shot hits
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Adam Driver wasnโt leaving 2019 without getting a nomination for something.
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years ago i moved to Chicago and worked in a Dunkinโ while pursuing a life in comedy. today, iโm releasing the first ep of a new animated series for
@ComedyCentral
about an artist who moves to Mars and works in a coffee shop โ MAURICE ON MARS! the power of doughnuts, my friends..
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When I found the other Black nerd in high school.
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๐ถKerry Washington did The Thing๐ถ
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@anferno
sometimes you just need a quick swig of Sweet Baby Rayโs while looking at family photos
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amazing. they played the โDougโ theme in honor of Doug Emhoff being the first second gentleman
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there is a lot to unpack about Conanโs current media moment. but most importantlyโhe is somehow the only person handling this chaos properly. this is the face of our times:
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Ewok twitter mustโve gone wild when the emperor died
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Why.... didn't... they... just.... get.... comedic legend Sinbad.... to play... the genie?
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The difference between Bob Marley singing "I Shot the Sheriff" and Eric Clapton singing "I Shot the Sheriff" is the jury reaction.
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for no reason at all, hereโs the Family Matters intro set to the Cowboy Bebop theme
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America is clamoring for a pap-per-view boxing match between Steve Kornacki and John King
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Wow. Weird update from SNL. Save it for the weekend, will ya?
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The Bear but itโs yer mom making Thanksgiving dinner
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You KNOW her church testimony will be lit this Sunday.
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matrix hits different when you realize the architect was stuck in a never-ending Zoom
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the child is 79. he's just now welcoming them in
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suddeny really into the idea that the hero hobbits of Lord of the Rings still exists now and, like, go to Dennys sometimes
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I got to work with Chris. He was a delight to be around, a hilarious comic, and a rare genuine human being in this weird industry. I'm sorry to hear that he's gone. He was months away from being a father. Use this link to help his family:
Weโre devastated by the loss of Chris Cotton โ a hilarious comedian, a beloved member of the Comedy Central family and a joy to be around. He will be missed.
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Mike Pence in his interview with Gayle King next week
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Black Batman better prepare to get pulled over by the cops while rushing over to save them.
DC Comics reportedly planning black Batman for 2020.
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Black Uncle: "You keeping your grades up?!!"
You: "I'm 50! I have a day job! I'm not in school!"
Black Uncle: "Better keep them grades up! I'm tellin' ya!"
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Coming home to my various imaginary friends.
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okay, this is just a pitch, but: "emily in compton"
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i often wonder if God has kids on other planets
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the comments are starting get weird so i just want to say, though Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth IIโs final words on earth were โelves canโt be blackโ โ i do not agree with her
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โShe said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'โฆโ
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Elon Musk reveals 80s boombox. claims itโs an android
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How I'm rolling in to work when the quarantine is lifted in 2025:
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at some point this sketch becomes jazz
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you: โwhatโs Back to the Future about?โ
me: *Lizzo voice* โitโs about damn time!โ
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Ben Stein will no longer voice Ben Carson.
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doing standup for the first time in a while tonight
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parents, bringing their problem child to summer camp
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Thought it was an April Fools' prank, but no -- there somehow IS footage of
@HamillHimself
acting with Bill Cosby in a TV show from 1970.
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"IS THIS YOUR KING OF KONG!!!?"
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just thinking about how the Wayans brothers invented Gwyneth Paltrow's brand
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This new Hulu feature is wild. All you have to do is look out your window to see the new season of The Handmaid's Tale.
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"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?"
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"riddle me this, riddle me that. think like a man, but quit actin' like that"
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please tell me this song is literally about cheesecake and nothing else
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hi, iโm the guy on set who cuts the onions that make Viola Davis cry
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โgive me the coyote movieโ
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