TeeTee MJ THE BLADE 🔪 325IS🇵🇹🇿🇦
@ThulaniTeeTee
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Zulu Van Damme🏋️🏋️ I hate peace, I want problems always 🥶👹👺👻 ⚽Orlando Pirates ft Liverpool and Real Madrid My backup account @ThulaniMjiyako
Soweto, South Africa
Joined January 2018
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Pinned Tweet
We need "Grandmother's Day" those people raised us😭😭♥️♥️♥️
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Step dads are the men women wouldn't date if they had no kids.....
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Best video I came across in the internet 👌👌👌👌 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
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Ningawuyeki loshuni nibahle kuwo, ngathi niyaphila nase makhanda ❤️😘😍🤣
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I can't believe 80's and 90's gents once thought this was cool😭😭😭😭
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Guys I'm not going to teach you everything 🤌
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"I know it's break time but let me touch one or two things on quadratic equations before I leave
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Her: Babe wathi uzofona everyday mase useGoli
Me: Ngibuwa limangi?
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My white neighbor has been shouting Michael Wayne, Michael Wayne over the fence for about an hour....
It's only now that I realised he was trying to say Makhelwane
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Grocery= R2500
Sleeping pills 💊= R15
R15x31 days= R465☺️
Can't teach you everything 😉😏
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Shuthi ungena usudunusile phela la
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Don't be in a relationship if you don't like rules. Stay single and have your freedom to do what you want. In a relationship you constantly need to communicate, report, account for your actions and apologise when you are wrong.
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Covid19 killed millions of people but there are no job vacancies, who actually died??? 🤷♂️🤷♂️
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Before Airforce there was this Legend who lasted longer than relationships
Accelerator....
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Ubone uDJ apressa ama buttons engaqedi mara ingoma ikhala the way siyazi ngakhona..
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Uboke ungene ngo 12h00 emsebenzini
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Why aren't there any Indian rapper, like Lil Pravesh or Notorious Naidoo? 🤔 🤣🤣😉
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In case you missed it sdididiiiiii
Zakhala 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
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Sir you forgot to give us an assignment 🤦♀️
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Saying "I love you" in this container was not easy 🥺🥺🥺
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Tsonga people : "Abusheni"
Zulu people : "Hau sesiyaphuza futhi?? 🤦
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👵🏻: Lezo zitsha zingalali lapho.
🧒 : Zithe ziyazela Yini?
👵🏻: Uthini?
🧒: "Ngithi Ngiphezu kwazo ngiyaziwasha
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"We Men"
F1: We compliment with a respect, we wish to have it for a long term
F2: We compliment not because we want to keep it but to hit n run(no respect, we don't care)
"I said what I said"
It is what it is
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So a man has to be financially stable to date a broke woman? 🤔🤔
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This alcohol ban is just a sign ukuthi Mama kaSomizi ufike wakhuluma amanga kuMoses 😭
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Me watching people peacefully making money illegally, but I know if I try it, God will use me to set an example
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Ama wrong turn angiwasabi kodwa yabona lona weShirt lase Spar 😱😱😭😭
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They just told me that I have a 7 year old daughter 😭😭😭 n my ex has been hiding this from me...i don't know 🤷♂️ how to deal with this matter 💔💔💔
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They finally met, i wonder who was wrong this time 🤔🤔... Very tricky this one.
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K Khumalo : "Numbers don't lie"
S Africa : "six people were in the when S Meyiwa was killed but no one is telling us who killed Senzo"
You see numbers can lie
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Look how happy they are without the other gender 😊😂😂🕺🕺🕺
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These were the girlfriend, no extravagant demands, The only asked for Niknaks and Tropika
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Uma ubona ngathi abafana ba stingy or ba broke, sesiyazi ukuthi uyathengisa
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The reason why I don't date izidudla
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Them: What's happening on twitter today? 😏
Me.....
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The person behind in this machine is Rude and Impatient 😞😞😞
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Mom: Ubhemile?
Me: "Sorry ngikhuluma nobani?"
Mom: Nomawakho slima
Me: Wamuhle Mawakho uhlalaphi?
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Twitter VAR is available😂😂😂😂😂😂
She's pulling her short n edited the roof
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No words, I'm done with this country 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Umuntu athi akasezi lapho lokhu sivuke ngo 01h00 sakha iRoom namajita 😭😭😭😭
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Guys stop posting in SeSotho or Sepedi, nathi sibatla hu hleka but asinitlwa ukuthi nirini
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"Siyokwenzani endlini yakho?
UJehova waletha ama 2000s saphumula umbuzo onyanyisayo 🤣🤣🤣
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In case you missed it 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣
No dull moment on this app
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I helped my neighbor out with something this morning and she said to me "I could have marry you". I couldn't believe it, You do something nice to someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return 😭😭
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Women be like...
"I gave him everything"
Everything: 🍑
" I'm tired of building men for other women"...
Building material:🍑
"I have been supporting him all along.
Support: 🍑
You can drop yours....
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Me working from home 🏡 😂
Customer: Can I speak to someone higher than you?
Me: Mamaaaaa phone.!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂
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Mr Mosia be like: 😂😂😂"whn I arrived there was no one in the 0utside😳😳😳The crime scene was full of people even 0n the Outside😏
#SenzoMeyiwatrial
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In Limpopo you have 3 seconds to eat ice-cream or else you will drink it 🤣
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Being lonely isn't nice
Prof Phakeng, welcoming 2024 in style .
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There's no single woman above 30 who is happy being single. No matter how you pretend to be, deep down you want a husband. 🤣🤣🤣
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"Income into Enhle"
Khona uClever 🤟oseyifunde nge English🙄
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Kancane Kancane isiXhosa ngiyasifunda
Molweni zibhokwe 😂😂😂
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How do you say "Kuya le nale" in English🤷♂️nangu umlungu engibuza kuth How's Life...🙆♂️
🚶♂️
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👮: "No Caps allowed inside the club, my brother"
"Listen, Chief, Jonga man, bhuda yami.... Yeses, lomsunu
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I wanted to send "I love you" to my girlfriend and I mistakenly sent it to my landlady, she replied I love you too stop paying house rent 😍😋😍
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Me watching someone who makes twice of my salary struggle to save a PDF 🤷🏻😒
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Next time she will watch her tone when she talks to me
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🤱: Shhhhhh thula uBaba wakho um'Pedi uzovuka asithethise ngesiZulu
🛏: Limpankela msinto lena....
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"Izinja Madoda"
Kusho uNkulunkulu kungena iSouth Africa eZulwini🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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He sleep a lot, that's why they stole his iPad
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They joy of watching food cooking food and eventually you gotta decide whether "you should eat before eating or eat after eating
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The English that they speaks at the police station, we just keep quiet cause they have guns 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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I killed two Xhosa mosquitoes,the reason why I noticed that they were Xhosas,they were flying next to my Wallet.😐😐😐🙈🙈🙈
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So vele it doesn't bother my ancestors that mjolo always dribble me
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Ubunzima esindlula Kubo ukuze sininelise nijike nicele imali 😭😭😭😭
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Ngibuya Ku N3 ngithi ngiyofuna uRaf 😢😭azigijimi weJesu
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Bese kuba khona umuntu oba Gay kunje emhlabeni
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Umuntu wagcina lana ukuba nomuzi, nemoto nomfazi 😓😓😭😭
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Imagine calling me broke just because I can't buy you what you can't buy for yourself
We live in a crazy world
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🦁 : uyazehlela Dlamini noma ngikwehlise 😋?
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Omunye wathi ebhubhudla i🍑 yakhe in front of phambi kwabantu, sathi siyakhuza kwathiwa i🍑 yakhe choice yakhe n impilo yakhe. Manje uvithikile sekuthiwa "we failed her" that's rubbish putjek maan nidakiwe
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Akekho umuntu ovele abe nomkhaba, anihlafuni nina 🙅
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Dear Sotho's it's "AmaZulu" not BaZulu 🙄🙄
Your bloody horse 🐴
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If you are a married man n you find yourself attracted to school girls, buy your wife a uniform
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Imikhaba yenu 🤦umuntu anganenzela iBabyshower nge mistake 🙄🙄
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No one
Absolutely no one
Siblings when you are on the video call 🤷♂️
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In case you missed it 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
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Problem yama 80's after one round 🍆🍑💦 umuntu ulanda photo album uzwe ethi "lana bengenza form 3"
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Me, after speaking TshiVenda for 10 seconds
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🐶 : ukhalelani? 😏
👨🏻🦰: Ungilahlile uMbali 😭😭😭😭
🐶: Uyakhumbula ungena naye ngathi nguyamluma wathi futsek kimi 💔
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"Naliti"
Kusho amaXhosa uma ekunika itiye(tea)
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Nywe nywe I know English
What's the opposite of 'SORRY' ke
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Attention friends!!!
After 20h30.. Please don't act like the President came to your house and had a pvt meeting with you and provide us with updates 😂😂we will all watch news 📰 together
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If stove siku 6 🔥, uphi Baba wengane or akazwani ne temperature?
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In case you missed it 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
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Umjolo umnandi uma ubona abantu abajolayo. Jola wena uzobona uJesu egibele submarine 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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