God
@TheTweetOfGod
Followers
6M
Following
210
Media
224
Statuses
13K
It’s only been a few hours and Stephen Hawking already mathematically proved, to My face, that I don’t exist.
2K
84K
267K
My aim's not what it used to be.
Striking photo captures bolt of lightning behind the U.S. capitol as widespread severe weather moves east.
1K
56K
214K
In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst person in the world would be two different people.
1K
21K
215K
No. No. Negative. Untrue. False. Incorrect. In no way the case. No.
2K
39K
205K
When a rapist gets a woman pregnant, only one of them should be considered a criminal.
1K
19K
147K
No.
Former congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a personal request for God: "Lord, would you allow Donald Trump to have a second term as president of the United States."
5K
12K
138K
Fuck you asshole.
School shooting in Texas. Early reports not looking good. God bless all!.
1K
30K
135K
One day someone should start a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
2K
16K
128K
I don't.
1K
11K
103K
YOU'RE WELCOME.
Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!.
2K
16K
104K
I meant on a date.
551
38K
102K
Fuck you.
God bless the people of El Paso, Texas. God bless the people of Dayton, Ohio.
885
23K
100K
What the fuck, Twitter. Seriously. What the fuck. What the fuck is this.
4K
16K
98K
Most people who doubt women's claims of assault do NOT doubt a 2,000-year-old book's claims that I had a son who rose from the dead.
1K
25K
97K
Donald Trump killed his personal assistant, Carolyn Gombell, in October 2000. He strangled her because he'd gotten her pregnant and was threatening to tell the press. Then he bribed NYPD Police Chief Bernie Kierik to cover it up. IT'S TIME TO INVESTIGATE. #JusticeForCarolyn.
4K
33K
92K
America: where a black man can't take a knee on a football field for thirty seconds, but a white cop can take a knee on his neck for eight minutes.
587
28K
97K
@realDonaldTrump No. You lost. You're a loser. You're a huge loser. You're the biggest loser the world has ever known. You are many other negative things, but above all you are The Ultimate Loser.
828
5K
98K
Don't tell Me what to do, shitbag.
God Bless the USA!.
688
15K
96K
Abortion should only be permitted in cases of rape, incest, and when the woman chooses it.
684
18K
86K
UPDATE: Doctors at Walter Reed say the President is “in hypocritical condition”.
995
11K
80K
If gay people are a mistake, they're a mistake I've made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I'm incompetent and shouldn't be relied upon for anything.
687
15K
82K
THE FIVE STAGES OF CLIMATE CHANGE. 1. Denial.2. Guilt.3. Depression.4. Acceptance.5. Drowning.
719
21K
83K
Instagram and Facebook are currently not working, as are democracy, society and a healthy sense of self.
640
16K
84K
Donald Trump is a mean, mad, cruel, sad, pompous, puny, lonely, loony, horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad, dippy, disturbed, dopey, deranged, distorted, demented, delirious, delusional, MAGAlomaniac, psychopathic, sociopathic, lead-the-whole-world-down-the-garden-pathic,.
6K
16K
79K
See you all soon!.
Over 1,200 people attend Louisiana church service, defying coronavirus ban: "We will continue"
740
15K
80K
Don't you ever fucking quote Me again, you hideous witch.
“This is what the Lord said: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5.
806
12K
71K
What the fuck is wrong with Me?.
A dolphin's nipples are located in its anus.
1K
13K
74K
Ain't listenin' bitch.
Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White is currently leading an impassioned prayer service in an effort to secure Trump's reelection.
2K
8K
72K
Privilege doesn't get much whiter than making a Roman-era Palestinian look like this.
2K
12K
71K
No it didn’t. He’s still President.
America just took out the world's no. 1 bad guy
407
12K
69K
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean. So give him a salad, maybe.
624
14K
71K
My GPS sucks.
907
13K
67K
What part of the Bible did you get that from, Joe?.The part with all the guns in it?
I have a right to speak my mind, practice my religion, freely assemble, and carry a firearm. These rights come from God, not government.
1K
24K
67K
I'd love to tell you this is a sign from Me, but it's actually just a promotion for a gay bar in Georgetown.
322
11K
67K
Happy birthday to President Trump, who is a fucking piece of shit.
1K
9K
62K
I TOOK BETTY WHITE?!?. NOW?!?. I am a terrible, horrible, cruel, miserable God.
2K
6K
62K
This is a scary time for young men who commit sexual assault and want to get away with it.
536
14K
59K
No. Fuck you.
TODAY IS A NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER. GOD BLESS EVERYONE!.
503
10K
62K
It was a prank call.
879
14K
59K
I’m back. I’m back on Twitter (which is its only name). I have left AI in charge of the universe; you’ll notice the improvement. I’m back, with less respect for you than ever. And just like before, My nephew is my only follow. Spread the word, bastards.
3K
7K
61K
Will the owners of the blue planet between Venus and Mars please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
437
10K
60K
Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
306
13K
59K
I'm going to turn the universe off and then back on again and see if that works.
2K
8K
58K
Admission to heaven is 90% determined by spelling and grammar.
3K
11K
58K
Say what you like about the President, but you have to admit: he's a fucking piece of shit.
723
7K
56K
This account doesn't mock God. This account IS God. I am the King of the Universe, the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End, and just the shit in general. And if you don't believe Me, you can go to hell. Or Facebook.
1K
6K
57K
I am now both the biggest unverified account on Twitter and the biggest unverified entity in the universe.
747
11K
56K
Try not to take yourself too seriously. After all, you're an idiot.
767
14K
58K
If anything happens to My Twitter account, I want you always to remember how little I cared about any of you.
1K
5K
56K
If you want to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, don't elect them President.
523
16K
52K
Just because Jesus died for your sins doesn’t mean you should keep committing them, assholes.
562
11K
53K
No.
I am so proud of our great Country. God bless America!.
292
28K
55K
Everyone's asking to skip forward to 2021. Trust Me, you don't want that.
744
8K
56K
This Thanksgiving I am grateful to everyone who doesn’t believe in Me for trying to keep the world safe from everyone who does.
589
10K
52K