Badass Shrink (Dr. Meg)(The Shrink)
@TheShr1nk
Followers
11,440
Following
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Statuses
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Psychologist (PsyD) #childpsych #parentingtips #science #kEDS #cpp #spoonie #momlife #depression #ptsd #survivor #artist #writer #thinker #reader #nerd 🇺🇲
Fort Wayne, IN
Joined November 2018
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I just survived my first "72 hr hold" on a locked psychiatric unit. It was traumatic. My PTSD is worse than ever. What our society is doing to people with
#mentalillness
is wrong. Thought I knew, but I didnt.
Heres what its really like to have the police do a "wellness check."
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I dont think saying "get over it" has ever actually helped someone "get over it."
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As a therapist, I used to often use the phrase "I cant imagine how hard that must be" (or some variation). Because I hadnt been there myself. Turns out I was right, I couldnt have imagined just how fucking hard it is. Sometimes you just dont know it til youve lived it.
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There's a big difference between "I'm sorry you're upset" and "I'm sorry I upset you."
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I think I'm going to take a break from Twitter folks. My depression has become so severe it's difficult to post any comments because I have so little faith in myself. I hope I'll find myself again. You've said I help people here, & so I hope I can return. Thanks for your support.
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Sometimes losing your shit is totally valid.
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Turns out, my fellow psychologists with mental illness, we are super common. Like it would be weird if you were a shrink who didn't have mental health problems. What went wrong? How did this happen? What can we do?
In a study of 1,395 psychologists & trainees, OVER 80% reported a mental health struggle.
It's something I've talked about before () but now we have real evidence to back it up.
You are not your mental illness. It’s just one part of your story.
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I think I finally broke. The way that animals like horses and elephants are "broken." The will and desire to fight is gone. The belief I can is gone. Too many bad things have happened. I've fallen too many times. At some you realize you just truly don't have it in you.
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Meet Norman, my new
#servicedog
🥰😁❤ I hate admitting I need one, but it's time to get my life back; Im done sitting around letting fear win. He'll be helping me manage
#PTSD
symptoms. Research is saying 80% of people with PTSD get better with service dogs. I'll let you know.
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Why is it so hard to feel compassion for myself the way I do others? I'm doing all these damn self compassion exercises, and it's slow moving. People make it seem easy. "Just treat yourself like you treat others". BS. It's not easy.
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One trick I've learned with PTSD is double checking the tense of my thoughts to make sure they are true.
Ex: I struggle with the thought "I'm alone and no one will help me". It was true once but not now, so I turn it into "I was alone and no one was able to help me then"
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There's an interesting phenomenon I've noticed, similar to
#mansplaining
. And I'm a total culprit. I call it
#docsplaining
.
I've noticed we "highly educated" folks can forget that other people, non-docs, can know as much as us.
Possible Solution: First ask what they know.
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I started this account as a way to share psychology in a digestible way. To keep my pinkie toe in the field when I "retired." I didnt intend to get personal &share my story, but there was a need. And I never expected Twitter, you all, to become such a source of support. Thank you
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I've lost my ability to feel anything, any emotions, since my recent (re)traumatic experience. I feel so disconnected from people, even my kids. Feeling love seems impossible 😔 How do you get rid of this emptiness?
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How I explain
#PTSD
#flashbacks
: a cross between a partial seizure and a panic attack, but with horrific context. Like having a nightmare while awake. But the nightmare really happened, your body & mind remember every detail, & you re-experience every original emotion/thought.
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I've been fighting depression and suicidal thinking since adolescence. More recently the battle grew to include PTSD too.
Two weeks ago I started PrTMS. Now the idea of suicide seems absurd. I can separate my sx from reality better than ever before. I can smile
#callmeimpressed
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FYI "lived experience" is the term used for people who've been through their own shiz. For therapists, it mostly means mental illness.
Thats right.
Psychologists made a euphemism for "mental illness" when its applied it to ourselves. Talk about stigma w/in the field.
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Knowing how many fucks to give is an acquired skill.
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I got a gig! Monday nights I'm the
#pianist
at Club Soda 😁 (Ft Wayne). Just finished my first night 😳😄😊
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Being addressed as "Dr." as a woman is freeing. I wish it was something all women could experience. Yes, its cool bc it earns respect, but perhaps moreso, it allows us to be addressed as an individual, not in terms of marital status. On even terms with men. Its a powerful feeling
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@Hope_4youandme
We have to speak up. I hope my voice holds the power to finally make people open their eyes. I have the doctorate. I was the psychologist. I've seen things as doctor I knew were wrong but had no power. Now that I've been the patient, I see it's so much more wrong than I had known
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I see the questions about why a psychologist would be in this spot. My answer: Mental Illness (like all illness) doesnt care how many years of school you've had or who you've trained under. It happens to everyone.
Thank you for bringing to light the extra stigma drs face.
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My neighbors been shoveling my driveway & it bothers me. I tried to pay him. I begged, pleaded, & placed $ in his hand,
I said "I'm sorry, but in my experience no one does something nice for nothing in return."
He smiled, gave the $ back, & said "I'm going to prove you wrong."
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Stop telling yourself "I'll get OVER it." Start saying "I'll get THROUGH it"
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Since I've been gone awhile, I wanted to return in some awesome way-- like, "look at what I've accomplished" or "hey guys I'm actually better!" But I'm still fighting the same battles. And I think maybe I need the support I get from you all, so instead, simply...
Hi! I'm back🙂
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Dismissing a patient's concerns bc you think you know better is one of the worst things providers can do. If you aren't actively trying to understand pt's concerns from pt's perspective, you may never even realize its happening. But your patient will. And there goes trust.
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How did you know you'd found a good therapist?
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After all the trauma I was feeling really lost. I didn't know who I was anymore. I felt broken. I didn't know how the parts of me fit together. You gave me the idea of an identity mind map, & its helped me heal so much I decided to share mine as an example so you can try it too.
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Im not currently practicing due to my illnesses. I'm not sure I ever can again, in the traditional sense. Right now Im choosing to share my experiences to advocate for those with
#mentalillness
and raise awareness for
#mentalhealth
needs.
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You may have noticed I use the word "rape" over "sexual assault." I know that can be a trigger, so be forewarned. However, I refuse to soften the act by using euphemisms. It helps our society look the other way. To start addressing it directly, we need to talk about it directly.
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If trying to make friends as an adult is always gonna feel like some awkward platonic form of dating, can we just go ahead, acknowledge it, and then make speed-friending a thing?
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What we wish: telling a friend about our struggles with mental illness will elicit help
What happens: said friend stops talking to you
In my experience, 100% of the time, even the friends in MH.
NEWS FLASH: ignoring someone's mental illness hurts
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We, as adults, are not responsible for the emotions of other adults. They are not responsible for ours. Stuff we say and do will evoke emotional responses in others, that is true, but it is their job to cope with their own emotions. And our job to cope with ours.
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My 6-year-old just said 'yes' to broccoli for lunch. I think I may have just mastered motherhood.
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Running an ER without mental health providers is malpractice.
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Before you ask that someone not bring their PTSD service dog to your house, stop and ask yourself this: would you ask the same of a seeing-eye dog or seizure dog? If not, perhaps you need to reflect for a minute on the stigma you are still holding onto.
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Whether you're surviving a sexual assault or a shootout in Iraq, your brain reacts the same. It goes into survival mode. Sometimes it gets stuck and cant turn it off right; the experience was so powerful your brain gets permanently altered, and you get PTSD. It's the same.
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Welp I've finally got the COVID, right in time to usher in 2022 and my late 30s 🤒. Hot damn the body aches are bad. But I got the tx since I have an autoimmune disorder & im feeling better already. The real news is I went to an ER & didn't lose my shit!! Thank you, Norman❤
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Norm is my
#servicedog
for
#PTSD
and I've had him for a year now. Thanks to him, Ive been free of flashbacks for an entire year. I cant tell you how freeing that is, to not have to relive your trauma day after day. So freeing that I havent returned to inpatient for suicide since.
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Do you know what happens when someone is suicidal and you call 911? Police arrive and take away said suicidal person in handcuffs in the back of a barred cop car. This is someone with an illness, not whose committed a crime. We should treat them as such.
#stopthestigma
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Depression has been such a bitch lately. I've been worse off mentally ever since being in inpatient for suicidality this summer. What do you do when you know for a fact the people who are supposed to help you will hurt you more?
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Finishing another fun Monday night as a professional pianist (my piano tuner says, if I make money, I'm a pro 😁). Also, check out these gorgeous red locks! Used some at-home temp color to dress it up for the holidays. Loving it 😍
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From my experience, it seems that suicidal thoughts and urges can be a result of triggering a past trauma, and thus the flight response. Suicidal thoughts are mixed with an urge or a drive to escape, and death is seen as the only option. Is this something others relate to?
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I dont lose arguments easily, so I have to hand it to my therapist for winning this one:
Me: I can't shake this belief that I'm worthless.
Th: Youve said you strongly believe all human beings have worth, it's part of your religion even. Remember, you are human too.
Me:🤔🥲🥰
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I did not want to go back and breach the emotional storm I've been keeping away, the one that keeps me dissociated. I did not want to. Not at all. But I did it anyway. For my kids, my spouse, the mom and wife I want to be, for the person I used to be, & for the person Ill become.
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A psychologist gets sick, retiring at only 33, disabled due to chronic illness. Its only then the memories return. She'd been repressing a trauma for 10 years. She battles depression & PTSD, suicide and flashbacks. As she recovers, she finds her voice. And decides to speak up.
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Women often say "sorry" when there is nothing to be sorry for. Next time ask yourself, did I really do something that needs forgiveness, that I should be sorry for? Never apologize for who you are.
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😱😳🤯😡 I wish I was making this up. Here is the response I personally received after inquiring about purchasing a service dog from . This feels like
#mentalillness
stigma? Maybe? I don't even know...
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Unpopular opinion: Narcissists arent evil.
I keep seeing so much narcissist hate here. Let's remember that narcissistic personality disorder is still a
#mentalillness
. Yes they hurt others. But they can also learn and grow. They are still people. Hate speech is hate speech.
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The best advice I could give for anyone who is feeling
#suicidal
, the advice I take myself, is to narrow down your focus to the present. Focus on living one minute at a time, one hour at a time, just do whatever you need to do to live, one day at a time. It will get better.
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I have struggled with
#depression
and
#suicide
for 20 years.
#PTSD
entered the mix more recently & its harder than ever. Last month I went to psych IPU for the second time. I share this story to encourage others to get help (even if it sucks).
*Stay alive*
#SuicidePreventionMonth
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While I'm tooting my own horn, guess what else, people, I have my first ever fan at the bar/club where I play piano! As in there is a woman who now comes in on Mondays to listen to me. A real life fan!
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Please stop "spanking" kids. First, spanking is a euphemism for hitting. Hitting a kid,even on the bottom, is wrong. Research shows it's a bad idea. But the bottom is padded, it doesn't hurt, one might say. No, actually. Hitting the bottom is painful, humiliating and shameful 1/3
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Update: I made it through the 1st dental appt (in 13 years). Even with live sedation it was a struggle. Special thanks to the amazing staff who held my hand and helped me keep up the mantra "youre at the dentist, you're safe". One more big appt to fix a few cavaties 😰
#ptsd
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Trauma is kind of like a zit. There's some nasty bacteria that got on your skin that really stuck in there. Then it just festers and gets big and painful and you try to ignore it and it gets worse. To fix it, you gotta pop it, and its painful and messy. But then it heals.
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One year ago I was forced to retire due to chronic illness. I couldn't do much, but I started this twitter as a way to keep helping others. Now one year later I've reached 5k followers! Its been more fun than Id ever expected & I love getting to know you all! Thank you! ❤
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Depression is so screwed up, it makes people end relationships with loved ones, even though it hurts them deeply, because they truly believe people are better off without them.
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Ok. Tomorrow is my big dentist appt & I am anxious, to put it mildly 😱😱. Im doing live sedation again, but the first time (just a cleaning), I still had to fight to stay calm/present, even w sedation. This time I'm getting 8 cavities filled. Send me some positive vibes?
#ptsd
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Food for thought: The two times I've been on a locked psych unit (inpatient hospital for behavioral health), every woman there had been assaulted by a man, physically or sexually. And we were locked on a unit with men who were there for homicidal ideation. Think about it.
#wtf
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Society: What do you do?
Me: Im a doctor. Of psychology.
Society: You mean the kind that can't even prescribe meds? 🙄😒
Me: Exactly. The kind that doesn't even need to use them 😏
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I'm getting ready early this morning, the sun barely up, and I'm so anxious. I'm starting a new therapy and I feel lost, why do I even keep trying? And as I'm thinking this, I walk into the dark living room and see one spot highlighted in the sun. Yes, my loves, you are why. 🥰
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Authors suggest using "survival mode" instead of "fight or flight" to more accurately reflect the science of what happens during sexual assault.
"Reflexes and Habits" Is Much Better Than "Fight or Flight" | Psychology Today
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What do you do when you realize you're the toxic one?
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Surviving an attempt at suicide forever changes your life perspective. You loose this innate trust in yourself, one we all have deep inside, tied to our survival instinct. Once you make the ultimate wrong decision, you can't trust yourself to make the right ones anymore.
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What would you name this guy? He's maybe about to learn how to be a PTSD service dog ...😏
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#trauma
basically turns you into a teenager again > you have to reestablish your identity, relearn boundaries, refuel your coping resources, make new friendships, fix old ones, and re-evaluate your belief systems to come to a new understanding of how the world works. It sucks.
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@StynaLane
Usually it seems only women who have experienced fatigue that comes during pregnancy can begin to understand. I start by saying "remember when you were pregnant and you were so tired it was like your body was covered in a layer of cement, so much work just to move...">ahah moment
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If you have a friend or family member that couldn't make it out to celebrate, for whatever reason, physical illness, depression, anxiety, etc, send them a message that you noticed their absence and they are in your thoughts. Itll mean a lot, its unlikely anyone's bothered.
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Heard a rumor that trauma activates underlying Borderline PD, so technically at 30, even 50, you could suddenly have BPD, along with PTSD, & be left with it after you process and treat the trauma. This doesn't fit with what Ive been taught, but I hardly know everything. Thoughts?
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I keep seeing posts by people, even professionals, trying to diagnose
#Trump
with one mental illness or another, to convey that he is bad or evil. its infuriating.
#mentalillness
doesnt make someone bad. That's morality. Stop confusing the two.
#Stopthestigma
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#Depression
is a disease that kills people. Cancer is a disease that kills people. Stop for a second and think about why our ability to acknowledge them is not the same.
#DepressionIsReal
#mentalhealth
#stigma
#Awareness
#MentalHealthMatters
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So many quotes and inspirational shit out there now about eliminating the "toxic people" from our lives. And I wonder if this is bad advice. I think very few people are actually "toxic". In reality it's a bad relationship, where two people are at fault. Think before you cut ties.
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Going to the ER w PTSD is no joke. Pain is a huge trigger, for me at least, and basically I act a nut. I now have a pre-prepared letter explaining my dx, that pain triggers PTSD flashbacks & how I might freeze, fight, or try to run away. It helps to let them know upfront.
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Been working on my illustration game, and I gotta say I'm quite the fan of this one. When my children's book gets published, perhaps I'll be it's illustrator 🙂
#amquerying
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Are there online art therapy groups out there already? I want to do the art/activities that help with processing trauma and identity, but the motivation isn't there. And COVID. Also thought it might be fun to create a group using social media, & we all do the projects. Thoughts?
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#positive
#affirmations
for
#chronicillness
:
1. I am at peace with my symptoms.
2. I am courageous and strong.
3. I will get through this.
4. Everyday I will keep moving forward.
5. I will achieve my goals and maintain a life worth living.
#cpp
#ChronicPain
#mentalhealth
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Minute by minute. Day by day. Its just a feeling. It will go away. Minute by minute. Day by day. Stop what you're thinking. It will be okay.
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Prayers and good wishes for all those struggling this Thanksgiving Day, for those who can't be with their families, for those whose plans didn't go as planned 🙏❤
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Norman and I made it out to an art opening last night, kids an all! I even stayed a whole hour. This was Norms first "event" to attend, and he did great. Except for occasionally sneaking a butt sniff. I promise he knows better. So much so, he waits til I'm not looking.
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Rape is a hard word. It's hard to say. I want to sugar coat it and call it sexual assault, somehow that's easier; it's a euphemism. But rates havent gotten better in 20 yrs & we cant afford to use euphemisms anymore. Maybe using the real word will make society take it seriously.
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@MelissaAReed
And there are also so many things you can't unhear or un-know. It translates to mental health too. And we can never talk about it, to protect confidentiality. Providers are forever secret heros
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Normal is easy. To truly shine and grow, we have to take the harder road. Embrace all that is you, all your weird. Even if it's hard, youre worth it.
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The prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for logic and reason, isn't running at full power in people with
#depression
. This includes decision-making skills. They see less options -- its why
#suicide
is often seen as the only solution.
#SuicideAwareness
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Anyone else find COVID messing with your mood and judgment?
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Me: I've noticed you've been using the word "
#crazy
" a lot. It's not a curse word, but it is used to make fun of people with
#mentalillness
, to make them feel bad.
7: You mean people like you, Mommy?
Me: Yes, people like me.
7: Oh...🤔 we shouldn't say it then.
Me: Agreed 🥰
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I often feel only one small crapload away from complete mental breakdown.
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Reflecting back, one of the most disheartening things I saw on the ward was the lack of visitors for most of the patients. I could see a volunteer visitor program really helping. To have anyone visit, even a stranger, would matter a ton. And to be given a change of real clothes.
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I just made it through 2020 without a single visit to the hospital!!!!!
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Oh no... I just realized I've turned into one of those grumpy old ladies who grumbles to herself about people and their fireworks going off, keeping them from their sleep. I think this must mean I'm now truly middle-aged. 🤬😳🙄
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Agreed. Both inspire, in different ways. But as I get older I find more inspiration from those who overcome more than time to accomplish amazing feats.
@muranofiction
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Well twitter, I appreciate all your support. But in the end its the opinions of those closest to you, of your loved ones, that matter. And when youre too sick to take care of yourself and no one cares enough to take care of you, it doesn't matter how many nice words you read here
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Am I having too much fun having my emoji self dance all over a sketch of myself? Maybe 😏😁
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If an emotion is a way our brain communicates information, is an emotion simply another form of a thought?
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Recently discovered that many PTSD Service Dog places will only work with veterans. Perhaps it's funding, but it feels like prioritizing. The reverse doesnt exist. There's another sort of war on the home front that leaves many trauma survivors in its wake. We matter too.
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Finally made it back to my piano bar gig after getting COVID. It's amazing how music, and sharing music, heals the soul. Norm's support is also pretty darn adorable. No matter how down you get, you have to take steps to pick yourself back up...
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