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@TheRealSassy1
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Pinned Tweet
I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with shit I didn’t deserve.
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As long as you have courage and a sense of humor...its never too late to have a fresh start in life....
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Married Sexting:
I'm not wearing underwear because you didn't put the fucking laundry in the dryer like I asked you 100 times.
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The fact that Head and Shoulders doesn't have a body wash called 'Knees and Toes' disappoints me.
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Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
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By the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you the biggest disappointment of my life....
You may now kiss my ass.
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@NadaSam54346329
Why can’t these Kardashians ever date anyone normal and presentable. This is the first time I’ve seen this guys face up close and I had to really try to understand why in gods name did she even give him a second glance.These women have serious issues with choosing the right man
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I use my Apple Pay as if it’s connected to a black hole with shit loads of money floating around waiting for me to double click my phone.
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Your darkest secret can be someone else's desired wish.
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When you start seeing your worth, you'll find it harder to stay around people who don't.
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The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4am is realising some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.
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Do I have a resting bitch face? Absolutely.
Does it mean I’m upset at something? No it’s just my face.
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I wish I could give everyone a big fat hug who didn’t have anyone at their lowest. 🫶 Some of these replies heartbreaking.
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It's crazy how different people bring out different sides of you.
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Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
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You aren’t required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
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Life is like the ocean.
It could be calm and still
or rough and rigid,
but in the end
it's always beautiful.
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Male or female, no one fucks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
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Mozart wrote his first symphony at the age of 8. I'm a grown ass women and I just rehearsed what I'm gonna say at the drive-thru 5 times.
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Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere;
and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.
http://t.co/zxQCLKj0zz
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I love you enough to make our iPhone- Samsung relationship work.
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We all have chapters we would rather keep unpublished...
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Now that iv learned how to be happy, I won't tolerate being around people who did nothing but bring me down.
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The best nights are when you're having too much fun to take pictures.
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Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.
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I don't care what i accepted in the past, I'm not accepting that that shit now.
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Men will never understand the struggle of long hair & lip gloss on a windy day.
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The best sex is when you don't have to worry about how loud you are...
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The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.
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Don't let something that's long gone continue to control you.
It's time to let go.
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I was asked what i look for in a relationship....
Apparently "a way out" wasn't the right answer.
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I never make the same mistake twice.
I make it like five or six times,
you know,
to be sure.
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There is no real ending.
It's just the place where you stop the story.
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I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
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I need a moisturiser that hides the fact that I've been tired since 2010.
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I just saw a guy at Starbucks. No iphone, no tablet, no laptop.
He just sat their drinking coffee like some sorta psychopath.
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Far too much of my life, I've apologized when I wasn't wrong, all to make the situation better.
Im not that person anymore.
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My superpower?
I can look you dead in the face while you're talking and not hear a single fucking word you said.
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Every women that figured out her worth,picked up her suitcase of pride n boarded a flight to freedom,which landed in the valley of change.
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Explain your anger, don’t express it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments.
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I need to learn how to be content with simply not knowing, and be at peace with the notion that everything does not need an explanation.
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If by clubbing, you mean eating club sandwiches, then yes, I do love clubbing.
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I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers.
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Nobody goes through more shit in life than a person with a good heart.
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I'm sorry I was being so crazy while you were treating me like shit.
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Woke up to find out one of my close friends died of Covid. She was only 38. Let that sink in. Wear your fucking masks!
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Women's breasts are like martinis.
One isn't enough and three is too many....
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I'm convinced that different people awaken different beasts in you.
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The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
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All my troubles at the moment are caused by the mere fact that I am trying more and more to be myself.
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One day you'll realise that there are some people you'll never see again.
At least, not in the same way.
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"No" is a complete sentence.
It does not require justification or explanation.
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Some things are better left unsaid.
Which I generally realize right after I've said them.
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Life would be much easier if I could mark some people as spam.
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There's a big difference between letting kids be kids and letting kids be little assholes.
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Woke up realizing that I need to travel as much as I can because life’s not meant to be lived in one place.
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One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of people. If they laugh, you're still young . If they freak the fuck out and run to you, guess what?
You're old.
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I want my daughters to be kind but I also want them to know that they can throat punch someone if they need to.
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I'm nice as fuck, so if you ever see me being an asshole to someone, they earned that shit.
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The louder you preach your sainthood the more I see through your Bullshit.
GTFO
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A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
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My entire life can be described in one sentence:
It didn't go as planned, and that's ok.
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Just because someone desires you doesn't at all mean that they value you.
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Im not ignoring you.
You just don't exist in the world I'm currently inhabiting.
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I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against drama, stupidity and bullshit!
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The funny thing about a strong women is that she doesn't need you...
She wants you.
And if you start slacking she'll be content without you
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I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks.
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