Sgt. Suckdown
@TheJaegerB0mber
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forklift certified.
Guantanamo Bay
Joined October 2022
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Me pulling up to the theatre and asking for a ticket
‘BOB MARLEY: ONE LOVE’ has been delayed to February 14, 2024.
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I just know this dude is porking the fattest white woman alive
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Go for a walk outside you stupid fat retard
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My ass when SpongeBob and Patrick made it to Shell City , beat the Cyclops, rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back
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He would have been strangled to death 2 episodes into The Sopranos
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How the genie looks at me after I ask him to triple world hunger
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Bouncer: You been drinking tonight pal?
Me:
I have tried Michael Jackson moonwalk
What do you all think?
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The time my dad took my nose off my face, and mocked me. He ate my nose after. I was just a fuckinh kid.
What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced in your life time?
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I hate this fucking house my mum has just threatened to phone Chet Hanks and cancel white boy summer if I don’t finish my vegetables I hate it here this is torture
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Ironic. As a child, I was enthralled by the WWE... Yet today it is I, who must "wrestle mania".
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Want my ashes launched out of one of these when I die
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The Vampire when every inch of my body, aside from my dick and balls, is covered in garlic
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Hen party spotted in the bar. Mother of bride identified. “So you must be the bride-to-be’s sister” in the chamber.
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17 beers deep giving my buddies the most inspirational speech known to man (they cannot fathom a word I am saying)
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Awrsome day at work. Found out I’m the best in the office at doing Chinese impressions
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Going sober. My life will be about sandwiches now.
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Reacting to the first beer on a Friday like the cavemen reacted to discovering fire
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6 drinks in and the light on the elf bar starts flashing
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Getting back from the bar and watching our boys Hudl highlight reel at 4am
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I couldn’t even edge to this, I exploded immediately!!! Clean up on aisle MY PANTS 😂😂😂😂
Sydney Sweeney photographed by Kaylee McGregor via Instagram
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Any French Snapchat video
What viral video makes you laugh no matter how many times you watch it? Mine is ‘bye driver’
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Yea she’s hot but she has absolutely nothing on that girl I seen at the airport that one time
Sydney Sweeney thanking everyone for the show on SNL.
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“Just one crate of beer for your fishing trip !!!” - my stupid bitch wife.
Jokes on her.
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Doing this to the bouncer as the bar staff tell him I need to be removed
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White women when their selfie gets a quote rt but it’s just what they would look like if there were black or Chinese
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If you're ever sad just remember the world is 4.543 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as this.
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Prolly like 20 of these
What is a life-changing item that you can buy for less than $100?
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I’m sticking with beer tonight nothing crazy.
3 Beers later:
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Here we see Rob heightmogging Glenn. In response, Glenn simultaneously skullmogging Rob and mewing. Not sure but think Rob might be edging too. Excellent back and forth looksmaxxing battle between these two incredible talents
i need glenn to stop posing like he's seen the horrors
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It’s looking like a no alcohol just beers kinda night tonight
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8 beers deep spotting your buddy opening a pack of darts in the smoking area
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Driving back to the liquor store to get a 12 pack because I drank the first 12 pack on the way home
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What The Bag-Man sees after I’ve had 3 sips of 4.2% light beer
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“Sir have you been drinking tonight?”
Me in the drivers seat:
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The instagram reel that appears directly after I watch a family of 5 get obliterated and turned into red mist by a truck losing control on the highway
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Jarvis delete my name from Jeffrey Epstein’s flight log
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What is a cream pie??? Can somebody fill me in please???
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Cold beer Friday?
Christmas weekend?
Yeah, here we go.
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So fuckin sick of men farting in the club and it smells like they need to go to the hospital
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“Happy new year! How was your time off over Christmas?”
Me:
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