Football Reels 📽
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Wow. What a fight. I really like Mayweather but August weather is my favorite. I love summer, man. What a time to be alive
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Baker Mayfield to the Cleveland Browns. I hope he wears number 13, man. Then he’ll be a Baker’s dozen. Wow. I want some donuts
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I’ll tell ya what, I’m not sure who that number 52 is for Chicago, but that guy can play. That’s the type of player you want on your team, man. I’m going to have to do some research on this guy
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Wow. The Browns finally winning a football game is like the ice cream machine working at McDonald’s. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does it’s a special treat, man. Get me a McFlurry
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The reports are true, man. Khalil Mack has been traded to the Bears in exchange for an actual bear. He will play defensive end for us and will go by the name “Rupert.” Raider Nation, please give Rupert a warm welcome
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I’ll tell ya what, if you run Spider 2 Y Banana on the goal line tonight at 11:59:54, you’ll be in the end zone right as the clock strikes midnight. Wow. Start your new year off right, man
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Marshawn Lynch coming out of retirement is like the McRib coming back to McDonald's, man. Wow. He's a McRaider now. I'm lovin it
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I’ll tell ya what, watching Patrick Mahomes throw the football is like music to my ears, man. He reminds me of that one West Virginia song. Take Mahomes country road. Wow
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Wow. UMBC beating Virginia is like a local taco truck causing a McDonald’s to go out of business. Give me four burritos, man. I love it
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Wow. Tom Brady to Tampa Bay. Seeing him in a Bucs jersey will be like seeing Jordan on the Wizards, Montana on the Chiefs, and that Verizon guy when he switched to Sprint. Can you hear me now, man? What a time to be alive
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Accidentally walked in the ESPN booth before the game, man. For a second I forgot I coach now. It was like accidentally driving to your ex’s house with your girlfriend in the car. Wild
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I’ll tell ya what, this whole Yanny and Laurel thing is wild, man. The only thing I hear is Spider 2 Y Banana
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I'll tell ya what this Minnesota offense is refreshing like a small Coke. Just call them the Mini Soda Vikings, man. What a time to be alive
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Patriots and Jaguars. I’ll tell ya what, Jaguars are cats but today they’re dogs, man. Underdogs, that is. Reminds me of that cartoon called CatDog back in the day. What a wild show that was
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Yes, the rumors are true about Antonio Brown. He did not receive a toy in his Happy Meal while at the team facility and was visibly upset. One thing led to another, and now he has locked himself in the bathroom. That is all of the info I can give right now, man
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Carson Wentz. I’ll tell ya what, I love this guy I really do. I like to call him Carson Cents because when he’s on the field, he’s dropping dimes, man. He’s like a clumsy cashier. Wild
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Joe Burrow. Love this kid. First he was a Tiger and now he’s a Bengal. The last Joe I knew that had that much to do with tigers ended up in prison because of that bitch Carole Baskin
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The Browns tied. Wow. That’s like winning one dollar on a one dollar scratch-off lottery ticket. You didn’t win, but you still have your dollar, man. It’s a step in the right direction
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I'll tell ya what. Electoral College can sure put up some major points on offense. I'm not sure why these guys aren't ranked, man. Wow.
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Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson were an unreal duo 🔥
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Leonard Fournette went from being a tiger to being a jaguar. Wow. That's something you only see on National Geographic, man. That's wild
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Giants and Lions. Imagine if these two teams combined we'd have a giant lion, man. Talk about scary. Somebody call the Animal Planet
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I love watching Aaron Rodgers throw. I bet he could throw himself a surprise birthday party and still be surprised. He's just that good, man
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I’ll tell ya what, I feel for the Cowboys. Missing a game-tying field goal at the end of the game is like driving to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday. You made it there but you’re not getting anything, man. I’m hungry
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Whoa wait a minute, man. I thought you guys said a MINI Cooper
@DallasCowboys
?!
BREAKING: Raiders will reportedly trade WR Amari Cooper to Cowboys
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Usain Bolt? More like Lightning Bolt, man. Get this guy on the football field. Imagine him on the Chargers. So many bolts I can't even think
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I’ll tell ya what. Losing stinks, but losing to one of the smartest animals on Earth makes it a little better, man. Dolphins are very intelligent mammals so I’m not even sure if this should count as a full loss.
@NFL
Let me know please
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This eclipse is wild. The moon is passing in front of the sun better than some QB's pass on the field, man. Get this moon guy a contract
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Josh Jacobs Jingleheimer Schmidt. His name is my name too, man. Wow
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Oops
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I’ll tell ya what, it feels great to be back in Oakland. I feel like I’m the McRib making a comeback to
@McDonalds
. Can we get a restaurant built in the locker room as soon as possible? That’d be wild, man. Go Raiders
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Wow. Gronk coming out of retirement and being traded to the Bucs is like the McRib coming back and being sold at Burger King. This is wild stuff, man
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Amari Cooper & Derek Carr. Together they call them AC/DC. Watching them play makes me thunderstruck, man. They shake defenses all night long
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Everyone is saying that Tom Brady is a goat now. That's wild, man. He's going to struggle throwing next season, goats don't have thumbs
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Matthew Stafford. This guy right here is a great leader. It's like he's the king of the lions, man. You can just call him Mufasa Stafford
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Wow. Todd Gurley is running the football with authority, man. There's nothing girly about this guy. Just call him Todd Manly
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I love double cheeseburgers and double stuf’d Oreos, but a double doinker off the field goal post to end the season is just plain wild, man. Wow
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I’ll tell ya what, Drew Brees looks fresh out there tonight. He’s like a bottle of Febreze, man. Wow. Eliminate defenses with a bottle of Drew Febrees. What a time to be alive
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Christian McCaffrey. I’ll tell ya what, this guy might as well play football in a taped up box because he’s the whole package, man. Call UPS, he’ll get you free shipping right to the endzone
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Tom Brady is back. Wow. This is like when McDonald's brought back the McRib. Give me a number 12 with a side of touchdowns, man. I love it.
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Tyreek Hill. Wow, talk about quick. You might as well call him Tyreek Grill because that guy will burn you. Get the hot dogs out, man
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A Wilson TD pass to Willson with a football made by Wilson. Wow. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight trying to comprehend that, man
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I’ll tell ya what, Alvin Kamara is fast and he’s powerful. He reminds me of a Chevy Camaro, man. Wow. Just call him Chevy Kamara
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Thanks, man. Birthdays are wild. I’ve had one each year since I was born
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Wow. Tom Brady does it again. I’ll tell ya what, he ate up that Jacksonville defense in the 4th quarter like they were a Tide Pod, man. What a time to be alive
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Larry Fitzgerald. Now here's a guy that reminds me of a jar of honey. No matter how old he gets, he's still good, man. Wow. I want a biscuit
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Wow, just think if Geno Smith had been punched by a Hawaiian. He would've been hit by a Hawaiian Punch. Thats a great drink right there, man
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All this O.J. Simpson talk makes me want to watch The Simpsons with a glass of orange juice, man. Great show and a great source of vitamin C
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FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL, MAN
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Wow. I'll tell ya what, if Mason Crosby were a part on a car he'd be the clutch, man. This guy's leg is made of gold. I love it
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Preseason is like eating off-brand cereal. Fruit Rings are good and all but I want a bowl of Froot Loops, man. Somebody get me some milk
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Derrick Rose to the Cavaliers. That's wild. I hope he chooses number 12, then he'd be a dozen Roses, man. Think about that one for a second
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Congratulations to the Toronto Raptors. My third favorite dinosaur behind the T-Rex and Triceratops. Man, asteroids stink
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Wow. Justin Houston is playing in Houston. That’s wild. That’s like two guys named Jimmy and John eating at Jimmy John’s. Blows my mind, man
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I’ll tell ya what, Leonard Fournette knows how to run the football. That guy can score anytime he wants, man. I like to call him Leonard Scorenette. Wow
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The Falcons signed AJ Hawk today. Wow. Is he a hawk or is he a falcon, man. This is blowing my mind. I bet that guy has talons for fingers.
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I’ll tell ya what, I hope Michael Thomas has his flu shot because this guy catches everything, man. Wow
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Wow I love fake field goals. That's like ordering a water but then filling your cup up with Dr. Pepper. The cashier never saw it coming, man
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I’ll tell ya what, Jordy Nelson can make defenses hurt. It’s like he puts them in a full nelson, man. Yep, I’m going to call him Jordy Full Nelson. Welcome to the team, man
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RG3 to Cleveland, man. He was a Bear in college and now he's a Brown. Put them together and you get a brown bear. Wow. I love nature.
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Kirk Cousins, Kirk Brothers, Kirk Uncles. He's spreading the love tonight like he's at a family reunion, man. Wow. I love it
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Colts vs Broncos. It’s the Horse Bowl, man. Am I watching a football game or the Kentucky Derby. This is wild
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I’ll tell ya what, Case Keenum is making a case for himself as an elite quarterback. I said it, man. That guy has ice water in his veins. Just call him Cold Case. Wow
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I’ll tell ya what, Jarvis Landry is all over the field. I love it. That jersey of his is never clean, man. I’m going to call him Jarvis Laundry. Somebody get that man some Tide
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Seahawks and Falcons. Get the bird seed ready because these two teams are hungry, man. I used to have a bird when I was little. His name was Sprinkles... I miss you, Sprinkles
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Wow. I don’t believe what I just saw. Stefon Diggs with the game winning touchdown as time expires. Get that man a shovel because Diggs just dug the Vikings a hole to the NFC Championship. That was wild, man
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I'll tell ya what. Give Brock Osweiler a pair of scissors and a piece of paper and you'll have Brock, paper, scissors, man. I love that game
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The Lions are really getting to Eli Manning. You might as well call him Eli Tanning cause he's under a lot of heat, man. Get the sunscreen
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Going straight to the regular season without a preseason is like skipping cheese sticks and going straight for the wings, man. Somebody get me a paper towel, football is back
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Derek Carr is now the highest paid player ever man. Wow. Think of how many cars this guy can buy now. You could call his driveway a Carr lot
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I’ll tell ya what, it’s nice seeing fans of an opposing team tell players they’re number one. Need more respectful fans like this, man
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Wow, scoring more points than the other team is pretty fun, man. I could get used to this winning thing. I feel like a kid that just won a stuffed animal out of one of those claw machines. I’ll tell ya what, those things are difficult
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Wow. First ever overtime game in Super Bowl history. This is like ordering a 6 piece McNugget and getting 7. I'm loving it, man
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Adrian Peterson is playing in Minnesota but he's not a Viking. Wow. This is like seeing the Grand Canyon in New Hampshire, man. Wild
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I call him Randall corn on the Cobb because that guy is as smooth as butter, man. That's a great wide receiver and a great vegetable. Wow
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I’ll tell ya what, this Grammy’s show is wild. Imagine if there was an awards show for grandmas called The Granny’s. I know mine would win Grandma of the Year, man. She’s a saint
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Wilson throwing a TD pass to Wilson is the wildest thing I've ever seen. The ball is even made by Wilson. My mind is about to explode, man
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Wow. I love Luke Kuechly. This guy reads routes like they’re a magazine, man. You can call him The Kuechly Weekly. Now that’s a magazine I’d subscribe to
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Just imagine if Kareem Hunt had on some camouflage. Wow. He'd be a Kareem Hunter, man. The defense wouldn't be able to see him. Wild
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Drew Brees now has the most passing yards in NFL history. Wow. I’ll tell ya what, if you leave a receiver open around this guy he’ll make you pay, man. That’s why I like to call him Drew Fees
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Wow. Aaron Rodgers with the game winning TD. That game was like a sad western movie. A lot of Cowboys hearts were just broken, man. Wild
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Marcus Mariota. I’ll tell ya what, this guy could work for Papa John’s because all he does is deliver, man. Give me a large pepperoni pizza
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Wow. What a night for Jay Cutler. He’s out there serving up touchdowns on a silver platter, man. Just call him Jay Butler. Now that’s wild
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.
@Raiders
Hey it’s Jon. Can someone go turn off the lava lamp in my office? I think I left that thing on, man
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I’ll tell ya what. Everybody is talking about storming Area 51, but more people need to be talking about ways to storm the quarterback. A solid pass rush is an essential key to victory, man
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Doug Martin. They used to call this guy the Muscle Hampster. I’ll tell ya what, I used to have a hampster named Doug. Life is wild, man
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