ARealF1ckingVampire
@TheCrimsonF1ckr
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King of Vampires and hater of the Catholic Church! |Parody Account |NSFW DNI🔞 |Not Associated with TFS |Strawpage: https://t.co/2DeFtUGopj
Hellsing Mansion
Joined January 2025
Alucard has joined Parody Twitter! [INFORMATION BELOW]
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Eh. Just give it a bit of time. You'll get through it.
🍄Im just a bit overwhelmed that all
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You need to figure out why you feel like it's your fault your friends died, even though, logically speaking, it isn't at all your fault in the slightest.
“UGH, FINE. What else do I have to say?”
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Kid, kid, you're thinking too much. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.
I mean… where should I start. I could talk about how I like to talk and hang out with my friends but get nervous at parties. Or that I have a lot of hobbies that I don’t tell people about cause they might make fun of me. Or that sometimes I worry I said something wrong and that-
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@Clobb3rintime ...Fair enough. I can't deny that your life is an enigma to me. But I CAN see a few positives in your life. Why don't you focus on those? Go on. Tell me one positive about your life.
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Alright, kid. Let's get to talking. Why do you care so much about money?
//his obsession with money and power
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...Again, how is that your fault? You were injured. You could do nothing about it.
🪷: *heavy sigh* I got heavily injured while Battling the Phantom….so much so that I got weakened in the process
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Okay, buddy, let's do this. Let's talk you through your social problems.
@TheCrimsonF1ckr //Obviously his regular and social anxiety.
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Okay, but if they don't care about you, why do you care about them?
“Well. . why wouldn't I? They're my parents.” “Do you know how much it stings seein' other mothers fussin' over their children when I know mine wouldn't do the same?”
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O...Kay? Elaborate on that, could you?
👥"The answer to that is obvious. It is the very essence of my being."
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Yeah, sometimes it just happens. Now, what's got you so depressed, Mushy boy?
🍄 - pure confusion - wdym it happens????
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I'm not doing it cause I want to, I'm doing it cause I have to. Now if you wanna get out of here, I suggest we keep talking about your problems.
“Fuck off, you try being nice and cordial when I’ve been trapped somewhere and some guy I don’t know’s prying into my personal life.”
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What, you being inside of me? I must've accidentally absorbed someone who simultaneously exists and doesn't exist again. It happens, don't worry.
🍄...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.
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Alright then. I'll call you Merci. So, Merci, you say you leave a bad impression. Can you think of a reason why?
👥"Humans have called me by many names. Cadaceus. God. Devil. Faust. The Count of St. Germain. Paracelsus. Alessandro di Cagliostro. Karl Ernst Krafft. And most commonly, Mercurius. You may call me as you wish."
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I can see that. And you are?
@TheCrimsonF1ckr 👥"I leave a bad impression with everyone I meet." [And he could see why. Despite the fact that Alucard could see him clearly, his mind couldn't process his presence. Most people would be driven mad by his mere presence.]
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...A different question, then. Why do you care about what they think?
“How in the world should I know that? I've always felt this way, I don't think they liked me from the start — Does it have to be reasonable?”
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Okay, Mushy Mush. What's making you all philosophical and junk?
@TheCrimsonF1ckr // Im not including alien spider cuz honestly I got no clue 🍄: they are now questioning everything they knew of reality and the universe system (which is a lot) so you basically gotta explain everything ⬛️: oh he got no problems he's doing great... too great.
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Wow. You've got some serious anger issues.
“So because YOU did something against my will, I have to pay the price. Makes sense that you’re old as shit, probably haven’t had an interaction with anyone since the 1800s, so I’ll tell ya this: DICK MOVE, ASSHOLE.”
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...And how is that your fault?
🪷: That I’m not strong enough to protect the people I love, I may be considered the “Strongest Living Creature on Earth” but I’m not as strong as I was when I was younger
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Alright, Firecracker. Let's get down to it. Have you gotten your revenge yet?
@TheCrimsonF1ckr Crimson would pretty much has beef with the guy that blew up his home planet.
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