Bri, the Chauffeur
@TheChauffeur3
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Following
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Negative. I am a meat popsicle. Neurodivergent and bipolar. Avid amateur photographer. Disney Parks and Star Wars nerd. 🌈💙
Eat slugs Malfoy!
Joined May 2020
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Pinned Tweet
Schrödinger’s “Cats” is both on Broadway and off Broadway at the same time.
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How many Lowes could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?
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@RpsAgainstTrump
What a fucking wimp. How can we have a president like him who has such a thin skin?
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@joncoopertweets
Disney keeps extremely good care of their rides. State inspectors would be out of their depths. It isn’t a country carnival.
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@joncoopertweets
Whatever it was, it was not a major injury. I just feel bad for the poor guy in the audience who was killed.
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@MarkoSilberhand
Poor kid never had a chance being raised in that family. Granted, like many people who break the cycle and transcend their horrible upbringings, he could do that, but he won’t.
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@ClaudetteGGibs1
Easiest to acquire??? Nurses work tirelessly for their patients for inadequate pay and usually know more about their patients than the doctors do, similar to how paralegals usually know more about cases than the lawyers do.
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@RedTRaccoon
Trump doesn’t give a shit about anything but himself. Please keep speaking out.
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@ChrissieSeeB
@coldwellbanker
Aside from being a horrible message, it also seems unprovoked. Clearly he has issues.
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@LionSlappy
@Road_trippn
“Commie?” Please give us an informed explanation of what communism is and how it works for you to call someone a “commie” based on this tweet.
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@highbrow_nobrow
@atrupar
And he says this bullshit with a straight face. That guy is such a fucking little weasel.
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@StrictlyChristo
They have absolutely no idea what it would be like to live under a dictatorship.
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@atrupar
Makes me recall when Orangebob Poopypants told a reporter that his question was terrible, horrible, very bad, or the like.
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@ask_aubry
Wow. It’s just a haircut. It can grow back (although I’m sure it looked great, and it’s your hair to do with what you please). What a baby.
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@realTuckFrumper
You afraid Gorsuch? You and your ilk are why we need term limits in the SCOTUS.
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@guelphgirlchris
I think, based on his beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, he has always been rotting from the inside. It will catch up to him eventually.
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@DarkMSolvent
JD Vance as his rapper alter ego, Sir Couch-A-Lot:
I like big couches and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can’t deny.
When the truck rolls in from Raymour and Flanigan, leather sofa in your face you get sprung.
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got cushions, hun.
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@RpsAgainstTrump
My lord, Loomer is such a horrible, terrible person. Why does she talk about people like that - people she likely knows little to nothing about.
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121
@RightWingCope
I’ve seen a lot of bonkers conspiracy theories on Twitter, but wow. This one takes the cake.
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@AdamHerbets
I don’t even share luggage with my kid. Who the hell shares a suitcase with their executive assistant?!?
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@alfranken
We need this guy moderating a presidential debate like he did for the Colorado primaries:
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Marilyn Manson looks like a substitute teacher who scares the shit out of you.
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@TomiLahren
By that twisted logic, if “God” intervened, why didn’t “He” prevent the whole thing?
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@AmericaPapaBear
@CalltoActivism
How would you feel if it were two liberal justices instead? Hmmm?
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The female custodian in my building asked if I wanted to smoke pot with her.
I told her I couldn’t handle a high maintenance woman.
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@ask_aubry
There is no way that hippie dippie jam band is right wing. And I say that as someone who loathes Phish.
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I think this coffee is broken.
*checks bag*
Well that’s the last time I buy “2020 Blend.”
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@PawlowskiMario
Agreed. He probably had a squib or fake blood pack in his hand, and activated it when he put his hand to his ear.
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@jimstewartson
I highly doubt Zuckerberg called Trump. He has better things to do. And even if they did talk on the phone, it did not go like Trump said it did.
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@highbrow_nobrow
@Acyn
Tell us you’ve never talked to a farmer without telling us you’ve never talked to a farmer.
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@highbrow_nobrow
@Acyn
He speaks badly about anyone’s anything. And Trump should look in the mirror if mirrors didn’t break when he stands in front of them.
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@Acyn
Oh god, STFU, Captain Couch. Not only are you lying and alienating the great people who have served this country, YOU lied about your “service” record.
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@TheUnvirgin
So a fifth-rate comedian (at best) who long ago fell out of relevance became a fifth-rate Jesus?
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Today is a big day. Going to talk to my girlfriend’s kid and then her parents about us getting engaged. Wish me luck!
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It is with a broken heart and deep sadness that I report that mom passed a few hours ago. She was surrounded by loved ones and mercifully went peacefully and without pain. I will be setting up a memorial fund with the Parkinson’s Foundation in lieu of flowers.
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My summer body was eaten by my winter, spring, and fall bodies. I'm basically a human turducken.
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@RonFilipkowski
Yeah, Disney is going to uproot a MASSIVE theme park resort to move it to another state. Right.
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Me about to take a shower: Ok butthole, are you clear?
Butthole: Roger that.
*gets out of shower*
Butthole: I have to poop now.
Me: GODDAMNIT.
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